Insert 17: Life Gets in the Way
Written by Jake Collins
Kevin and James stretched their limbs and adjusted their positions on the couch as the closing sequence of Terminator 2: Judgment Day played on the TV screen.
'So, did you enjoy that one?' asked Kevin.
'Well, it was definitely better than the first, and I liked Arnold Schwarzenegger,' said James. 'The thirty-year-old special effects stood up pretty well too, but I couldn't really get into the movie 'cause I didn't connect with the characters at all.'
'Fair enough,' said Kevin.
'You're not gonna sing its praises and try to change my mind?'
'Not at all, Jimmy – you make a very convincing argument. Besides, I don't even like it that much.'
Kevin ejected the video and went to put it back in its box. James giggled.
'I can't believe you still have VHS cassettes, Kev,' he remarked.
'Nothing wrong with VHS cassettes,' said Kevin. 'I've always liked them more than DVDs – they don't stick and you can fast-forward the logos.'
'I agree – DVDs are crap,' said James. 'You're supposed to have an online movie streaming service connected to your TV.'
'My internet connection is over there,' said Kevin, nodding towards the computer, 'and that's where it's gonna stay!'
James grinned and said, 'You are such a throwback, Kev.'
Kevin smiled, sat back down on the couch and then jabbed James in the right flank. James squealed as Kevin's finger dug into his kidney.
'Okay, okay, I'm sorry,' James giggled. 'You're not a throwback – you're just... set in your ways.'
'And proud of it,' said Kevin.
James flashed his brother a boyish grin, then his expression wilted slightly and he glanced at the clock on the VCR.
'Will Oscar be back soon?' he asked.
'Um... he'll be at least another hour,' said Kevin.
'I can't believe Mood Slime still gets bookings,' said James.
'They don't get nearly so many as they used to, but they still love to do it when they can.'
'So I can stay a while longer, then?'
'You can stay as long as you want, Jimmy,' said Kevin.
'Thanks,' said James, looking down at his feet.
'Is something on your mind?' Kevin asked.
'Yeah,' said James, sighing.
'You want to talk about it?'
'Yeah, I do. Harry's moving to San Francisco in August so we've decided to break up.'
'Oh,' said Kevin, reaching out to squeeze James's shoulder. 'I'm really sorry to hear that, Jimmy.'
'He told me all about it yesterday,' said James. 'You know how his mom works for a big hotel chain?'
'Yeah.'
'She's transferring hotels – it's a promotion from deputy manager to manager. I guess that's really good news for her, but...'
'Bad luck, Jimmy,' said Kevin. 'Life gets in the way sometimes, huh?'
'Yeah,' said James. 'I'm feeling pretty bummed about it, Kev.'
'You and Harry don't want to try long-distance?'
'No – we've both decided it's the right time for us to call it a day. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, though.'
'Yeah, of course,' said Kevin. 'Hey, maybe he'll come back to New York for college next year, and the two of you'll get back together!'
James shook his head and said, 'He wants to be with his parents – he already has a shortlist of study programmes he's interested in at the University of California. But we'll stay in touch on Instagram and stuff. I know we'll always be special to each other after everything we've been through together, especially 'cause... well, 'cause we were each other's first.'
Kevin nodded and said, 'That sure is special, bro.'
'Did you know me and Harry were having sex?' James asked.
'I very much suspected so,' said Kevin.
'I'm not legal,' said James. 'Do you think that's okay?'
'Yes, I do,' said Kevin. 'You're a mature, consenting young adult. Besides, I don't have a leg to stand on when it comes to this stuff – it was the same way with me and Oscar.'
'Did Mom and Dad know you guys were doing it?' James asked. 'While Oscar was still sixteen, I mean.'
'Yeah, I'm pretty sure they knew,' said Kevin.
'I don't think they've realised about me and Harry, just so's you know.'
'They'll never hear anything about your sex life from me, Jimmy.'
'I didn't think they would,' said James, managing a slight smile.
'I'm glad you didn't,' said Kevin.
'I really don't know what I'd do without you, bro,' said James.
'You'll never have to find out, as long as I have anything to say about it,' said Kevin. 'You know that, right?'
'Yeah, I do know that,' said James, then he raised his legs onto the couch, snuggled up to Kevin and cried quietly onto his front.
'I wish I could make everything okay for you by producing the Thomas and the Magic Railroad video, like I used to,' said Kevin.
James sniffed and said, 'Do you still have it?'
'Of course,' said Kevin.
'I still use the Thomas and the Magic Railroad pillow and quilt cover set sometimes,' said James. 'It's very faded, but I like it because it reminds me of...'
'The sweet, innocent days of childhood?' Kevin suggested.
'Not exactly,' said James. 'I like it because it reminds me of you, Kev.'
Kevin reached up to wipe his own eyes.
'I still use Uncle Eduardo's old Donatello pillowcase for very much the same reason,' he said. 'So anyway, should I put the video on?'
'Um... maybe not right now,' said James. 'It's getting kinda late. But I'd really like to come up and watch it sometime soon.'
'You can come anytime tomorrow if you want,' said Kevin. 'Oscar will be here, but he won't mind.'
'Okay,' said James, looking up and fixing Kevin with a smile, 'I'll do that. I think I should go home and get to bed now.'
'How about an arm-wrestle first, to cheer you up?' Kevin suggested.
'That won't cheer me up,' said James. 'I'll lose!'
'I used to lose to Uncle Eduardo the whole time,' said Kevin, 'but I still loved it.'
'You could beat him by the time you were my age, though, right?'
'Well... yeah, I could.'
'I'll never beat you, Kev,' said James. 'My arms are puny compared to yours! If we're gonna do this, I get to use both hands, okay?'
'Fine,' said Kevin, grinning. 'You'll still lose!'
James laughed and said, 'Not this time, old man!'
'So, did you enjoy that one?' asked Kevin.
'Well, it was definitely better than the first, and I liked Arnold Schwarzenegger,' said James. 'The thirty-year-old special effects stood up pretty well too, but I couldn't really get into the movie 'cause I didn't connect with the characters at all.'
'Fair enough,' said Kevin.
'You're not gonna sing its praises and try to change my mind?'
'Not at all, Jimmy – you make a very convincing argument. Besides, I don't even like it that much.'
Kevin ejected the video and went to put it back in its box. James giggled.
'I can't believe you still have VHS cassettes, Kev,' he remarked.
'Nothing wrong with VHS cassettes,' said Kevin. 'I've always liked them more than DVDs – they don't stick and you can fast-forward the logos.'
'I agree – DVDs are crap,' said James. 'You're supposed to have an online movie streaming service connected to your TV.'
'My internet connection is over there,' said Kevin, nodding towards the computer, 'and that's where it's gonna stay!'
James grinned and said, 'You are such a throwback, Kev.'
Kevin smiled, sat back down on the couch and then jabbed James in the right flank. James squealed as Kevin's finger dug into his kidney.
'Okay, okay, I'm sorry,' James giggled. 'You're not a throwback – you're just... set in your ways.'
'And proud of it,' said Kevin.
James flashed his brother a boyish grin, then his expression wilted slightly and he glanced at the clock on the VCR.
'Will Oscar be back soon?' he asked.
'Um... he'll be at least another hour,' said Kevin.
'I can't believe Mood Slime still gets bookings,' said James.
'They don't get nearly so many as they used to, but they still love to do it when they can.'
'So I can stay a while longer, then?'
'You can stay as long as you want, Jimmy,' said Kevin.
'Thanks,' said James, looking down at his feet.
'Is something on your mind?' Kevin asked.
'Yeah,' said James, sighing.
'You want to talk about it?'
'Yeah, I do. Harry's moving to San Francisco in August so we've decided to break up.'
'Oh,' said Kevin, reaching out to squeeze James's shoulder. 'I'm really sorry to hear that, Jimmy.'
'He told me all about it yesterday,' said James. 'You know how his mom works for a big hotel chain?'
'Yeah.'
'She's transferring hotels – it's a promotion from deputy manager to manager. I guess that's really good news for her, but...'
'Bad luck, Jimmy,' said Kevin. 'Life gets in the way sometimes, huh?'
'Yeah,' said James. 'I'm feeling pretty bummed about it, Kev.'
'You and Harry don't want to try long-distance?'
'No – we've both decided it's the right time for us to call it a day. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, though.'
'Yeah, of course,' said Kevin. 'Hey, maybe he'll come back to New York for college next year, and the two of you'll get back together!'
James shook his head and said, 'He wants to be with his parents – he already has a shortlist of study programmes he's interested in at the University of California. But we'll stay in touch on Instagram and stuff. I know we'll always be special to each other after everything we've been through together, especially 'cause... well, 'cause we were each other's first.'
Kevin nodded and said, 'That sure is special, bro.'
'Did you know me and Harry were having sex?' James asked.
'I very much suspected so,' said Kevin.
'I'm not legal,' said James. 'Do you think that's okay?'
'Yes, I do,' said Kevin. 'You're a mature, consenting young adult. Besides, I don't have a leg to stand on when it comes to this stuff – it was the same way with me and Oscar.'
'Did Mom and Dad know you guys were doing it?' James asked. 'While Oscar was still sixteen, I mean.'
'Yeah, I'm pretty sure they knew,' said Kevin.
'I don't think they've realised about me and Harry, just so's you know.'
'They'll never hear anything about your sex life from me, Jimmy.'
'I didn't think they would,' said James, managing a slight smile.
'I'm glad you didn't,' said Kevin.
'I really don't know what I'd do without you, bro,' said James.
'You'll never have to find out, as long as I have anything to say about it,' said Kevin. 'You know that, right?'
'Yeah, I do know that,' said James, then he raised his legs onto the couch, snuggled up to Kevin and cried quietly onto his front.
'I wish I could make everything okay for you by producing the Thomas and the Magic Railroad video, like I used to,' said Kevin.
James sniffed and said, 'Do you still have it?'
'Of course,' said Kevin.
'I still use the Thomas and the Magic Railroad pillow and quilt cover set sometimes,' said James. 'It's very faded, but I like it because it reminds me of...'
'The sweet, innocent days of childhood?' Kevin suggested.
'Not exactly,' said James. 'I like it because it reminds me of you, Kev.'
Kevin reached up to wipe his own eyes.
'I still use Uncle Eduardo's old Donatello pillowcase for very much the same reason,' he said. 'So anyway, should I put the video on?'
'Um... maybe not right now,' said James. 'It's getting kinda late. But I'd really like to come up and watch it sometime soon.'
'You can come anytime tomorrow if you want,' said Kevin. 'Oscar will be here, but he won't mind.'
'Okay,' said James, looking up and fixing Kevin with a smile, 'I'll do that. I think I should go home and get to bed now.'
'How about an arm-wrestle first, to cheer you up?' Kevin suggested.
'That won't cheer me up,' said James. 'I'll lose!'
'I used to lose to Uncle Eduardo the whole time,' said Kevin, 'but I still loved it.'
'You could beat him by the time you were my age, though, right?'
'Well... yeah, I could.'
'I'll never beat you, Kev,' said James. 'My arms are puny compared to yours! If we're gonna do this, I get to use both hands, okay?'
'Fine,' said Kevin, grinning. 'You'll still lose!'
James laughed and said, 'Not this time, old man!'
Seven weeks later, James and Harry burst into a plush hotel room together, both giggling incessantly. Harry closed the door firmly behind them, then he placed the key card onto a nearby dressing table.
'I don't think anyone saw us,' he said.
'Of course not,' said James. 'We're experts at this now!'
'Man, I can't believe this is gonna be our last ever hotel room liaison,' said Harry.
'You'll soon find a wonderful, handsome guy to do it with in San Francisco,' said James. 'Plus your mom won't be in any danger of getting fired if you're discovered, 'cause she'll be the boss!'
'Where's the fun in that?' Harry said, with a slightly weak laugh. 'Besides, whoever this new guy is, I seriously doubt he'll be nearly so wonderful or handsome as you are.'
James smiled, then his eyes met Harry's and they stared at each other for several seconds.
'Are you gonna come wave me off at the airport on Saturday?' Harry asked.
'I... I don't think I can,' said James. 'I'm sorry. Let's just... let's leave it at this, huh?'
Harry smiled and said, 'Okay. Happy birthday, gorgeous.'
They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed passionately before collapsing onto the bed.
'I don't think anyone saw us,' he said.
'Of course not,' said James. 'We're experts at this now!'
'Man, I can't believe this is gonna be our last ever hotel room liaison,' said Harry.
'You'll soon find a wonderful, handsome guy to do it with in San Francisco,' said James. 'Plus your mom won't be in any danger of getting fired if you're discovered, 'cause she'll be the boss!'
'Where's the fun in that?' Harry said, with a slightly weak laugh. 'Besides, whoever this new guy is, I seriously doubt he'll be nearly so wonderful or handsome as you are.'
James smiled, then his eyes met Harry's and they stared at each other for several seconds.
'Are you gonna come wave me off at the airport on Saturday?' Harry asked.
'I... I don't think I can,' said James. 'I'm sorry. Let's just... let's leave it at this, huh?'
Harry smiled and said, 'Okay. Happy birthday, gorgeous.'
They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed passionately before collapsing onto the bed.
James hurled himself through the main entrance to Terminal Four at JFK Airport, followed closely by Kevin, Carl and Beth.
'Oh my God, he's not here!' James wailed, after taking a perfunctory look around.
'Sure he is, Jimmy,' said Kevin. 'Don't worry; we'll soon find him.'
'Jimbo!'
They all turned to look in the direction of the elated cry and saw Harry sprinting towards them with a disposable Dunkin' Donuts cup in one hand. James ran to meet him, Harry threw his cup deftly into a nearby trash can, then the two of them flung their arms around each other and embraced as though their lives depended on it.
'I thought you weren't coming!' Harry said through joyful laughter.
'I couldn't let you go without saying one last goodbye,' James exhaled into Harry's ear.
'You only just made it in time,' said Harry. 'We have to go through security when my parents are done with their coffee.'
'I'd never've forgiven myself if I'd passed up the chance to see you again before you left,' said James.
'I'm really glad you came,' said Harry. 'I'm gonna miss you, Jimbo.'
'I'm gonna miss you, Haz,' said James.
'We'll keep on following each other, right?'
'Of course!'
'I'll post a new status as soon as I'm in the air.'
'I'll be sure to like it.'
'Hey,' said Harry, 'maybe we can visit each other sometimes!'
James smiled wistfully and said, 'Yeah, maybe.'
Harry reached up to cup James's cheek, then they simultaneously moved their lips together and kissed each other deeply. It quickly became clear that the kiss was not going to end anytime soon, so Kevin, Carl and Beth sat down on some nearby plastic chairs.
'Oh my God, he's not here!' James wailed, after taking a perfunctory look around.
'Sure he is, Jimmy,' said Kevin. 'Don't worry; we'll soon find him.'
'Jimbo!'
They all turned to look in the direction of the elated cry and saw Harry sprinting towards them with a disposable Dunkin' Donuts cup in one hand. James ran to meet him, Harry threw his cup deftly into a nearby trash can, then the two of them flung their arms around each other and embraced as though their lives depended on it.
'I thought you weren't coming!' Harry said through joyful laughter.
'I couldn't let you go without saying one last goodbye,' James exhaled into Harry's ear.
'You only just made it in time,' said Harry. 'We have to go through security when my parents are done with their coffee.'
'I'd never've forgiven myself if I'd passed up the chance to see you again before you left,' said James.
'I'm really glad you came,' said Harry. 'I'm gonna miss you, Jimbo.'
'I'm gonna miss you, Haz,' said James.
'We'll keep on following each other, right?'
'Of course!'
'I'll post a new status as soon as I'm in the air.'
'I'll be sure to like it.'
'Hey,' said Harry, 'maybe we can visit each other sometimes!'
James smiled wistfully and said, 'Yeah, maybe.'
Harry reached up to cup James's cheek, then they simultaneously moved their lips together and kissed each other deeply. It quickly became clear that the kiss was not going to end anytime soon, so Kevin, Carl and Beth sat down on some nearby plastic chairs.
Ten minutes later, Harry's parents threw away their Dunkin' Donuts cups and came to hang around within the range of their son's peripheral vision. James and Harry drew apart, then they said their final goodbyes whilst caressing each other at intervals. Harry eventually consented to follow his mother and father to the security desk; James kept his eyes trained on Harry's receding form until it was lost to view in the crowd, then he proceeded to turn his gaze to his family and burst into tears. Carl was the first one out of his plastic chair; he quickly rushed to enfold James in a hug.
'That's right,' Carl said soothingly, rubbing James's back, 'let it all out, son.'
Beth had also risen to her feet. Changing her mind about going to join Carl and James, she sat on the plastic chair next to Kevin's. His chin was resting on his hands and he was staring fixedly at the father-son embrace.
'Are you okay, sweetheart?' Beth asked quietly.
'I'm thinking some stuff I really don't want to be thinking,' said Kevin.
'About your father?'
'Yeah. I can't help remembering the way he reacted after I kissed Oscar on the front doorstep for thirty seconds one time – not objecting to it as such, but making his comments – and now James kisses Harry in the middle of an airport terminal for at least ten minutes and... well, the difference in Dad's attitude is... undeniable.'
'Oh, Kevin,' said Beth.
'It's great that his outlook has changed for the better,' said Kevin. 'Of course I know that, and I'm really pleased about it, and there's absolutely no point thinking things like this. And it's not even my feelings that matter now! I love Jimmy so much – I'd never want him to feel like I felt when Dad used to... well, you know.'
'Kevin,' said Beth, 'your feelings do matter. And anyone who doesn't realise how much you love your little brother must have spent the last seventeen years living in a cave on Mars with their fingers in their ears.'
Kevin smiled and said, 'Nice reference, Mom.'
'I've never actually sat down and watched The Simpsons,' said Beth, 'but I've absorbed a lot of it over the years.'
'I know he can't help his raw feelings, but I'll bet there's a part of Dad that's pleased to see Harry go,' said Kevin. 'I'm sure he's hoping Jimmy'll find himself another girlfriend next... and he may well get his wish, of course. I'm sorry, Mom – this isn't a very nice conversation.'
'You don't need to apologise, darling,' said Beth. 'Jamie wasn't the only one who needed to let it all out.'
'It's a shame about Harry,' said Kevin. 'I think he and Jimmy really love each other.'
'I agree,' said Beth, 'although they've never quite reminded me of you and Oscar.'
Carl and James drew apart, then James approached the plastic chairs with his arms held out towards Kevin. Beth rose to her feet, gave James's left arm a quick squeeze, then went over to her husband. Kevin waited until James was just in front of him, then he jumped up and enfolded his brother in a close embrace.
'Kev,' James said, slightly croakily.
'Jimmy,' said Kevin.
'Can I come up to your place when we get home and watch Thomas and the Magic Railroad again?'
'Of course you can, bro.'
With their arms around each other, Kevin and James went up to their parents, then the four of them left the terminal together.
'That's right,' Carl said soothingly, rubbing James's back, 'let it all out, son.'
Beth had also risen to her feet. Changing her mind about going to join Carl and James, she sat on the plastic chair next to Kevin's. His chin was resting on his hands and he was staring fixedly at the father-son embrace.
'Are you okay, sweetheart?' Beth asked quietly.
'I'm thinking some stuff I really don't want to be thinking,' said Kevin.
'About your father?'
'Yeah. I can't help remembering the way he reacted after I kissed Oscar on the front doorstep for thirty seconds one time – not objecting to it as such, but making his comments – and now James kisses Harry in the middle of an airport terminal for at least ten minutes and... well, the difference in Dad's attitude is... undeniable.'
'Oh, Kevin,' said Beth.
'It's great that his outlook has changed for the better,' said Kevin. 'Of course I know that, and I'm really pleased about it, and there's absolutely no point thinking things like this. And it's not even my feelings that matter now! I love Jimmy so much – I'd never want him to feel like I felt when Dad used to... well, you know.'
'Kevin,' said Beth, 'your feelings do matter. And anyone who doesn't realise how much you love your little brother must have spent the last seventeen years living in a cave on Mars with their fingers in their ears.'
Kevin smiled and said, 'Nice reference, Mom.'
'I've never actually sat down and watched The Simpsons,' said Beth, 'but I've absorbed a lot of it over the years.'
'I know he can't help his raw feelings, but I'll bet there's a part of Dad that's pleased to see Harry go,' said Kevin. 'I'm sure he's hoping Jimmy'll find himself another girlfriend next... and he may well get his wish, of course. I'm sorry, Mom – this isn't a very nice conversation.'
'You don't need to apologise, darling,' said Beth. 'Jamie wasn't the only one who needed to let it all out.'
'It's a shame about Harry,' said Kevin. 'I think he and Jimmy really love each other.'
'I agree,' said Beth, 'although they've never quite reminded me of you and Oscar.'
Carl and James drew apart, then James approached the plastic chairs with his arms held out towards Kevin. Beth rose to her feet, gave James's left arm a quick squeeze, then went over to her husband. Kevin waited until James was just in front of him, then he jumped up and enfolded his brother in a close embrace.
'Kev,' James said, slightly croakily.
'Jimmy,' said Kevin.
'Can I come up to your place when we get home and watch Thomas and the Magic Railroad again?'
'Of course you can, bro.'
With their arms around each other, Kevin and James went up to their parents, then the four of them left the terminal together.
