Insert 2: Oscar's Guest
Written by Jake Collins
Kevin finished singing the final chorus of 'Two Become One', then Oscar played a few closing chords on his guitar before reaching over and clicking the computer mouse.
'That was excellent, dude!' Oscar grinned at Kevin. 'You are excellent!'
'And you're a demon on that guitar,' said Kevin, grinning back. 'I think we sounded pretty good together, but then I guess I'm not a music expert.'
'Well I am an expert, and I say we sounded wonderful together!' said Oscar.
'Excellent,' said Kevin. 'So, I guess that's that activity over and done with, then.'
'Yeah, I guess so,' said Oscar, as he slipped his guitar strap over his head.
'And we still have an evening, a whole day and another half a morning together,' said Kevin.
'I hope you're not looking on that as a bad thing,' said Oscar. 'I've thought of a ton of other stuff we can do together – stuff that I hope is gonna be fun!'
'I'm sure it is,' said Kevin, fixing Oscar with a glowing smile. 'I didn't mean to imply that I'd rather be anywhere else but here right now – I've been looking forward to our visit for ages!'
'So have I,' said Oscar, smiling back at him.
'What do you suggest we do next, then?'
'I think we're gonna get called for dinner in a couple of minutes, so it's probably not worth starting anything major.'
'How about a quick arm-wrestle?'
'Yeah, okay.'
A short time later, Kevin was slamming Oscar's arm down onto the computer desk; both boys were very red in the face and laughing uncontrollably.
'Oscar!' Dana's voice called from the kitchen. 'Can you and Kevin get washed up for dinner now, please?'
'Okay, Mom!' Oscar bawled back. 'I guess we'll have to save the rematch 'til later, dude.'
'Save it as late as you want, bro,' Kevin grinned, 'I'm still gonna pulverise you!'
'In that case,' said Oscar, 'maybe we should move on to some karate after dinner.'
'Yeah,' said Kevin, 'maybe we should!'
'That was excellent, dude!' Oscar grinned at Kevin. 'You are excellent!'
'And you're a demon on that guitar,' said Kevin, grinning back. 'I think we sounded pretty good together, but then I guess I'm not a music expert.'
'Well I am an expert, and I say we sounded wonderful together!' said Oscar.
'Excellent,' said Kevin. 'So, I guess that's that activity over and done with, then.'
'Yeah, I guess so,' said Oscar, as he slipped his guitar strap over his head.
'And we still have an evening, a whole day and another half a morning together,' said Kevin.
'I hope you're not looking on that as a bad thing,' said Oscar. 'I've thought of a ton of other stuff we can do together – stuff that I hope is gonna be fun!'
'I'm sure it is,' said Kevin, fixing Oscar with a glowing smile. 'I didn't mean to imply that I'd rather be anywhere else but here right now – I've been looking forward to our visit for ages!'
'So have I,' said Oscar, smiling back at him.
'What do you suggest we do next, then?'
'I think we're gonna get called for dinner in a couple of minutes, so it's probably not worth starting anything major.'
'How about a quick arm-wrestle?'
'Yeah, okay.'
A short time later, Kevin was slamming Oscar's arm down onto the computer desk; both boys were very red in the face and laughing uncontrollably.
'Oscar!' Dana's voice called from the kitchen. 'Can you and Kevin get washed up for dinner now, please?'
'Okay, Mom!' Oscar bawled back. 'I guess we'll have to save the rematch 'til later, dude.'
'Save it as late as you want, bro,' Kevin grinned, 'I'm still gonna pulverise you!'
'In that case,' said Oscar, 'maybe we should move on to some karate after dinner.'
'Yeah,' said Kevin, 'maybe we should!'
Kevin was standing under the shower in the Venkmans' bathroom, desperately prodding and pulling at every button and lever he could find. He glanced up at the shower head, which was still refusing to dispense even a drop of water, and frowned.
'Come on,' Kevin said to the shower, 'what more do you want from me, you infuriating thing?'
After trying again to activate the stubborn device, Kevin stepped out of the shower cubicle, retrieved his dressing gown from the back of the bathroom door, slipped it on and then stepped out into the upstairs hallway. He turned immediately to his right and found himself staring at a closed bedroom door. A large piece of paper was taped to the door, bearing the instructions Knock first – this means you! and Keep your hands off my plectrum collection. Looking slightly uncertain, Kevin knocked on the door.
'Come in!' Oscar's voice called from the room beyond, sounding more than a little impatient.
'It's me, man,' said Kevin, as he edged his way into Oscar's bedroom.
'Oh, hey,' said Oscar, abandoning the book he had been reading and sitting up in bed with a huge smile on his face. 'What's up?'
'I've come to put my hands all over your plectrum collection,' said Kevin.
Oscar burst out laughing and said, 'None of the stuff that's written on there applies to you, bro. You're welcome to come in my room absolutely any time, and you can touch anything you want!'
'Thanks,' Kevin laughed. 'Can you come help me with the shower? I can't turn it on.'
'Yeah, sure,' said Oscar. 'Sorry – I should've explained how it worked when I gave you the tour.'
Oscar leapt out of bed, revealing that he was wearing men's pyjamas. Kevin smiled.
'What?' said Oscar, giggling slightly.
'I always wear men's pyjamas too,' said Kevin. 'You know – a T-shirt and underwear.'
'You're not wearing anything except that robe right now, though, are you?' Oscar grinned.
'No, I'm not,' Kevin admitted, 'but I have my men's pyjamas ready in the bedroom.'
Oscar led the way back to the shower and showed Kevin how to turn it on and adjust the water temperature.
'You think you can handle it alone from here, dude?' said Oscar. 'Or should I stick around, in case you need me for anything?'
'No, that's okay,' Kevin laughed. 'I think I'll be okay now.'
Oscar gave Kevin another grin, squeezed the upper portion of his right arm, and left the bathroom.
'Come on,' Kevin said to the shower, 'what more do you want from me, you infuriating thing?'
After trying again to activate the stubborn device, Kevin stepped out of the shower cubicle, retrieved his dressing gown from the back of the bathroom door, slipped it on and then stepped out into the upstairs hallway. He turned immediately to his right and found himself staring at a closed bedroom door. A large piece of paper was taped to the door, bearing the instructions Knock first – this means you! and Keep your hands off my plectrum collection. Looking slightly uncertain, Kevin knocked on the door.
'Come in!' Oscar's voice called from the room beyond, sounding more than a little impatient.
'It's me, man,' said Kevin, as he edged his way into Oscar's bedroom.
'Oh, hey,' said Oscar, abandoning the book he had been reading and sitting up in bed with a huge smile on his face. 'What's up?'
'I've come to put my hands all over your plectrum collection,' said Kevin.
Oscar burst out laughing and said, 'None of the stuff that's written on there applies to you, bro. You're welcome to come in my room absolutely any time, and you can touch anything you want!'
'Thanks,' Kevin laughed. 'Can you come help me with the shower? I can't turn it on.'
'Yeah, sure,' said Oscar. 'Sorry – I should've explained how it worked when I gave you the tour.'
Oscar leapt out of bed, revealing that he was wearing men's pyjamas. Kevin smiled.
'What?' said Oscar, giggling slightly.
'I always wear men's pyjamas too,' said Kevin. 'You know – a T-shirt and underwear.'
'You're not wearing anything except that robe right now, though, are you?' Oscar grinned.
'No, I'm not,' Kevin admitted, 'but I have my men's pyjamas ready in the bedroom.'
Oscar led the way back to the shower and showed Kevin how to turn it on and adjust the water temperature.
'You think you can handle it alone from here, dude?' said Oscar. 'Or should I stick around, in case you need me for anything?'
'No, that's okay,' Kevin laughed. 'I think I'll be okay now.'
Oscar gave Kevin another grin, squeezed the upper portion of his right arm, and left the bathroom.
Fairly early the next morning, Kevin – dressed in his men's pyjamas – opened the door of Oscar's room and barged in. He found Oscar hastily pulling up his boxer shorts with one hand and shoving a dog-eared magazine under his mattress with the other.
'Oh,' said Kevin, looking away and smiling to himself, 'I'm sorry, man.'
'Don't worry about it, dude,' said Oscar, finally managing to adjust his underpants into a position he was happy with. 'I said you were welcome in my room absolutely any time, and I meant it. Unless you've been put off for life now!'
'No,' said Kevin, 'I haven't been put off.'
Oscar smiled and reached out with his left hand to clasp Kevin's shoulder, then he changed his mind and used the right instead.
'I have another problem with your plumbing,' said Kevin, meeting Oscar's eye again.
'Say what?' said Oscar, hastily shoving his left hand behind his back and wiping it on his T-shirt. 'Oh, you mean in the bathroom?'
'Yeah, I mean in the bathroom,' Kevin grinned. 'I can't get the toilet to stop flushing. I mean, I've managed to flush it okay, but the water won't stop pouring into the bowl.'
'Oh Christ, yeah, it does that sometimes,' said Oscar. 'I'll go sort it out.'
'Oh,' said Kevin, looking away and smiling to himself, 'I'm sorry, man.'
'Don't worry about it, dude,' said Oscar, finally managing to adjust his underpants into a position he was happy with. 'I said you were welcome in my room absolutely any time, and I meant it. Unless you've been put off for life now!'
'No,' said Kevin, 'I haven't been put off.'
Oscar smiled and reached out with his left hand to clasp Kevin's shoulder, then he changed his mind and used the right instead.
'I have another problem with your plumbing,' said Kevin, meeting Oscar's eye again.
'Say what?' said Oscar, hastily shoving his left hand behind his back and wiping it on his T-shirt. 'Oh, you mean in the bathroom?'
'Yeah, I mean in the bathroom,' Kevin grinned. 'I can't get the toilet to stop flushing. I mean, I've managed to flush it okay, but the water won't stop pouring into the bowl.'
'Oh Christ, yeah, it does that sometimes,' said Oscar. 'I'll go sort it out.'
Later that day, Kevin and Oscar were playing chess at the kitchen table. The contemplative silence was broken when Jessica entered the room and peered over the edge of the table.
'What do the little horsey guys do?' she asked.
'Those are the knights, Jess,' said Oscar, 'and if I told you how they move, you wouldn't get it.'
'I wish you'd teach me how to play,' said Jessica, sighing heavily.
'I will when you're a little older,' said Oscar.
'I tried to learn how to play when I was your age,' Kevin remarked to Jessica, 'but I found it too complicated to understand.'
'That doesn't mean I couldn't understand it,' said Jessica. 'Are you winning, Oscar?'
'No,' said Oscar.
'So Kevin's winning?' Jessica persisted.
'Kevin isn't winning either,' said Oscar.
'Is it a tie?' Jessica asked.
'I guess it is, on points,' said Oscar. 'But that doesn't really matter – soon I'm gonna trap Kevin's king, then I'll win!'
'No way, bro!' said Kevin. 'I'm gonna beat the crap out of you! Oh, sorry – I guess I shouldn't say crap in front of Jessica.'
'You can say crap in front of me if you want to,' Jessica shrugged. 'Dad says it the whole time, and he says a bunch of other stuff I know is worse. Kevin, do you like Oscar?'
Kevin smiled and said, 'I like Oscar a whole lot, Jess.'
'Good,' said Jessica, 'because I think he really, really likes you.'
With that, Jessica grabbed an individually wrapped cereal bar from a low cupboard and left the room. Oscar gave Kevin an apologetic look.
'Sorry about my sister, bro,' said Oscar.
'I don't mind her at all,' said Kevin. 'You're lucky, man. I've always thought it'd be kinda cool to have a brother or a sister; those relationships are really special, right?'
'That's one word for it,' said Oscar, smiling to himself. 'But it's not too late for you, right? I mean, it might still happen.'
'Yeah, I guess it might,' said Kevin. 'I mean, there's no reason why it shouldn't... or not one that I know of, anyway.'
'Oh,' said Oscar, 'you think your dad might be firing blanks or something?'
Kevin made a face and said, 'Aw, dude, I do not want to talk about that, or even think about it!'
Oscar shrugged and said, 'You're the one who brought it up.'
'Yeah,' Kevin laughed, 'I guess I did. By the way, man – checkmate!'
Kevin moved his queen. Oscar stared at the board for a few seconds, then he laughed.
'Fuck!' Oscar declared with feeling.
'I hope you wouldn't say that in front of Jessica,' said Kevin.
'No, I wouldn't,' Oscar grinned, 'and I don't think my dad would either. Let's set this thing up again, and this time I'll beat your ass!'
Kevin grinned and said, 'In your dreams, bro.'
'What do the little horsey guys do?' she asked.
'Those are the knights, Jess,' said Oscar, 'and if I told you how they move, you wouldn't get it.'
'I wish you'd teach me how to play,' said Jessica, sighing heavily.
'I will when you're a little older,' said Oscar.
'I tried to learn how to play when I was your age,' Kevin remarked to Jessica, 'but I found it too complicated to understand.'
'That doesn't mean I couldn't understand it,' said Jessica. 'Are you winning, Oscar?'
'No,' said Oscar.
'So Kevin's winning?' Jessica persisted.
'Kevin isn't winning either,' said Oscar.
'Is it a tie?' Jessica asked.
'I guess it is, on points,' said Oscar. 'But that doesn't really matter – soon I'm gonna trap Kevin's king, then I'll win!'
'No way, bro!' said Kevin. 'I'm gonna beat the crap out of you! Oh, sorry – I guess I shouldn't say crap in front of Jessica.'
'You can say crap in front of me if you want to,' Jessica shrugged. 'Dad says it the whole time, and he says a bunch of other stuff I know is worse. Kevin, do you like Oscar?'
Kevin smiled and said, 'I like Oscar a whole lot, Jess.'
'Good,' said Jessica, 'because I think he really, really likes you.'
With that, Jessica grabbed an individually wrapped cereal bar from a low cupboard and left the room. Oscar gave Kevin an apologetic look.
'Sorry about my sister, bro,' said Oscar.
'I don't mind her at all,' said Kevin. 'You're lucky, man. I've always thought it'd be kinda cool to have a brother or a sister; those relationships are really special, right?'
'That's one word for it,' said Oscar, smiling to himself. 'But it's not too late for you, right? I mean, it might still happen.'
'Yeah, I guess it might,' said Kevin. 'I mean, there's no reason why it shouldn't... or not one that I know of, anyway.'
'Oh,' said Oscar, 'you think your dad might be firing blanks or something?'
Kevin made a face and said, 'Aw, dude, I do not want to talk about that, or even think about it!'
Oscar shrugged and said, 'You're the one who brought it up.'
'Yeah,' Kevin laughed, 'I guess I did. By the way, man – checkmate!'
Kevin moved his queen. Oscar stared at the board for a few seconds, then he laughed.
'Fuck!' Oscar declared with feeling.
'I hope you wouldn't say that in front of Jessica,' said Kevin.
'No, I wouldn't,' Oscar grinned, 'and I don't think my dad would either. Let's set this thing up again, and this time I'll beat your ass!'
Kevin grinned and said, 'In your dreams, bro.'
The next morning, Kevin and Oscar were sitting on the front steps of the Venkman house, watching the street beyond. Kevin's luggage was at his feet.
'I'm gonna get my parents to agree to have you to stay with us sometime in the summer,' said Kevin. 'If you want to, that is.'
'Of course I want to,' said Oscar, beaming at him. 'I have to go to England at the end of June, and then we're going to Fort Lauderdale in July – me and my real family, I mean – but I'm free the whole of August.'
'That's good,' Kevin grinned, 'because I am too!'
'Is your family going somewhere before August?'
'Yeah; we're going to Cozumel in July.'
'Where's Cozumel?' Oscar asked.
'It's an island off the east coast of Mexico,' said Kevin.
'I thought your dad hated Mexico.'
'There are some parts of it he doesn't mind visiting, with some relatives he doesn't mind seeing. We've been to Cozumel a whole bunch of times, to stay with one of his cousins. I really like going there, although I hope my mom doesn't try to persuade me to swim with dolphins again – I'm way too old for that!'
'Is your whole family going?' Oscar asked.
'Yeah – definitely me and my parents and my Uncle Eduardo,' said Kevin, 'and that's pretty much the whole family!'
'Is Eduardo taking Kylie?' said Oscar. 'I saw the two of them getting pretty close at the wedding.'
'I don't know,' said Kevin, frowning slightly and looking away.
'So, we'll definitely arrange a visit in August, then!' Oscar said brightly, clapping Kevin on the back. 'I can't remember the exact layout of your house. Do you have a guest room?'
'We have three of them,' said Kevin, 'although the two on the top storey haven't been used for a while.'
'But you have a useable one on the storey where you and your parents sleep?'
'Yeah, we do, and I guess you could sleep there, but... well, don't you think it might be more fun if I put the blow-up mattress on the floor of my room and we slept in there together? We could stay up half the night if we wanted to, doing... well, whatever we want to do!'
'Oh wow, that'd be so cool!' Oscar said with great enthusiasm. 'I wish I'd thought of that – for this time, I mean.'
'Never mind,' Kevin grinned, 'there's always next time. In fact, I hope there'll be a whole bunch of next times!'
'Me too,' said Oscar.
Beth chose that moment to draw up at the kerb in her car, so Kevin and Oscar got to their feet. They shook hands and clapped each other on the shoulder, then Kevin picked up his luggage and went to join his mother.
'Bye, dude!' Kevin called out of the car window a few seconds later. 'I'll see you soon, okay?'
'I'm counting on it, bro!' Oscar called back. 'See ya.'
Oscar waved frantically as Beth's car disappeared down the street, then he turned around to find that Jessica had appeared next to him.
'So,' she said, 'you and Kevin are really good friends now, huh?'
'Yeah,' Oscar said with a smile. 'In fact, we're best friends! I mean, I think we are. That is, I think I'm his best friend and I know he's my best friend, so all in all, I'm pretty sure we're best friends.'
Jessica looked slightly confused for a moment, then she said, 'Isn't Gary your best friend?'
Oscar shrugged and said, 'No, not really. I hang out with him at school, sure, but I don't actually like him.'
'But you actually like Kevin, huh?'
'Yes – I really, really, really like Kevin! Is that okay with you, Jess?'
'Of course,' said Jessica, fixing Oscar with a smile. 'I'm interested in you guys being friends, that's all.'
'In that case, you're gonna be interested for a very long time,' said Oscar, smiling back at her. 'If I have anything to say about it, that is!'
'I'm gonna get my parents to agree to have you to stay with us sometime in the summer,' said Kevin. 'If you want to, that is.'
'Of course I want to,' said Oscar, beaming at him. 'I have to go to England at the end of June, and then we're going to Fort Lauderdale in July – me and my real family, I mean – but I'm free the whole of August.'
'That's good,' Kevin grinned, 'because I am too!'
'Is your family going somewhere before August?'
'Yeah; we're going to Cozumel in July.'
'Where's Cozumel?' Oscar asked.
'It's an island off the east coast of Mexico,' said Kevin.
'I thought your dad hated Mexico.'
'There are some parts of it he doesn't mind visiting, with some relatives he doesn't mind seeing. We've been to Cozumel a whole bunch of times, to stay with one of his cousins. I really like going there, although I hope my mom doesn't try to persuade me to swim with dolphins again – I'm way too old for that!'
'Is your whole family going?' Oscar asked.
'Yeah – definitely me and my parents and my Uncle Eduardo,' said Kevin, 'and that's pretty much the whole family!'
'Is Eduardo taking Kylie?' said Oscar. 'I saw the two of them getting pretty close at the wedding.'
'I don't know,' said Kevin, frowning slightly and looking away.
'So, we'll definitely arrange a visit in August, then!' Oscar said brightly, clapping Kevin on the back. 'I can't remember the exact layout of your house. Do you have a guest room?'
'We have three of them,' said Kevin, 'although the two on the top storey haven't been used for a while.'
'But you have a useable one on the storey where you and your parents sleep?'
'Yeah, we do, and I guess you could sleep there, but... well, don't you think it might be more fun if I put the blow-up mattress on the floor of my room and we slept in there together? We could stay up half the night if we wanted to, doing... well, whatever we want to do!'
'Oh wow, that'd be so cool!' Oscar said with great enthusiasm. 'I wish I'd thought of that – for this time, I mean.'
'Never mind,' Kevin grinned, 'there's always next time. In fact, I hope there'll be a whole bunch of next times!'
'Me too,' said Oscar.
Beth chose that moment to draw up at the kerb in her car, so Kevin and Oscar got to their feet. They shook hands and clapped each other on the shoulder, then Kevin picked up his luggage and went to join his mother.
'Bye, dude!' Kevin called out of the car window a few seconds later. 'I'll see you soon, okay?'
'I'm counting on it, bro!' Oscar called back. 'See ya.'
Oscar waved frantically as Beth's car disappeared down the street, then he turned around to find that Jessica had appeared next to him.
'So,' she said, 'you and Kevin are really good friends now, huh?'
'Yeah,' Oscar said with a smile. 'In fact, we're best friends! I mean, I think we are. That is, I think I'm his best friend and I know he's my best friend, so all in all, I'm pretty sure we're best friends.'
Jessica looked slightly confused for a moment, then she said, 'Isn't Gary your best friend?'
Oscar shrugged and said, 'No, not really. I hang out with him at school, sure, but I don't actually like him.'
'But you actually like Kevin, huh?'
'Yes – I really, really, really like Kevin! Is that okay with you, Jess?'
'Of course,' said Jessica, fixing Oscar with a smile. 'I'm interested in you guys being friends, that's all.'
'In that case, you're gonna be interested for a very long time,' said Oscar, smiling back at her. 'If I have anything to say about it, that is!'
