Insert 5: The Passage of Time
Written by Jake Collins
Kevin and Eduardo stretched their limbs and adjusted their positions on the couch as the end credits of Angel played. When the sequence had quite finished, Eduardo turned off the television and said, 'I thought that one was pretty good.'
'Yeah,' said Kevin, grinning. 'I thought the title sounded kinda interesting, and the episode didn't let me down. It was genuinely funny, for one thing.'
'I have to admit, I thought I was long past laughing at anything the Buffyverse had to throw at me,' said Eduardo, 'but when Angel turned into a Muppet... well, that was funny!'
'“My nose comes off”,' Kevin giggled. 'I've said it before and I'll say it again – this season is so much better than season four! Although I guess it had to be, after all that Jasmine crap.'
'For sure,' said Eduardo. 'I do miss Cordelia, though.'
'I'm glad you were right about her coming back for an episode in this half,' said Kevin.
'Well, like you've sometimes told me, I'm usually right about stuff,' Eduardo said with a laugh. 'I thought that Cordelia episode was pretty well done.'
'Me too,' said Kevin. 'I hope the rest of the season is as good as that one and today's episode, so the series goes out on a high... and the Buffyverse with it.'
'Yeah, and the Buffyverse with it,' Eduardo said wistfully. 'I guess our final ever Buffy Night will be in May sometime.'
'Yeah,' said Kevin, 'I guess so. Oh my God, that's just hit me for the first time – our final ever Buffy Night... wow.'
'Our first ever Buffy Night seems like yesterday in some ways, but it was all the way back in March ninety-seven,' said Eduardo. 'That's coming up on seven years, Kev.'
'Christ,' Kevin remarked.
'I can't believe how much has changed since then,' Eduardo sighed. 'Well, I guess I can, really – I mean, it's only natural, right?'
'Sure,' said Kevin.
'You were only nine, Kev,' said Eduardo. 'You were so small, and just look at you now – you're bigger than me!'
Kevin laughed and said, 'We're just about the same size, Uncle Eduardo.'
'Do you remember telling me you thought that first episode of Buffy was “radical”?' Eduardo asked.
'Yeah, I do remember that,' said Kevin, still laughing. 'God, I used to say everything was radical back then, didn't I? How incredibly embarrassing!'
'I thought it was really cute,' said Eduardo. 'But I guess you've changed a lot in seven years, huh?'
'Yeah, I guess I have,' said Kevin. 'In some ways, anyhow.'
'I'd only just started out as a Ghostbuster in March ninety-seven,' said Eduardo. 'I wasn't even completely sure I wanted to keep doing it much longer.'
'And now you're the boss!' Kevin grinned, giving Eduardo a punch on the arm. 'Who would've guessed that?'
'Definitely not me!' said Eduardo. 'I mainly thought about Kylie when I thought about ghostbusting. She was on my mind a whole lot back then – well, she still is now – but I thought she hated me! That's why I decided to stick with Bess for a while and see how things turned out, even though I knew I wasn't that much into her.'
'Yeah, 'cause you were totally into Kylie!' Kevin laughed. 'And now she's in the bedroom with your kid inside her!'
'I guess that's why I'm being so nostalgic all of a sudden,' Eduardo said with a sigh. 'No more Buffy Nights, impending fatherhood, my tiny little nephew grown into a big hulking creature... and you haven't only changed physically, of course. You... well, you have Oscar now.'
Kevin grinned and said, 'I sure do. Who would've guessed that, the way I used to react when I was watching Buffy doing her stuff? It just goes to prove, our tastes change as we grow.'
'How are things going between the two of you?' Eduardo asked.
'Really, really great!' said Kevin.
'Is your dad being cool about... everything?'
'He'd probably have a heart attack if he knew everything!'
'But he's being okay about what he does know, right?'
'He's being... quiet.'
'Quiet, huh?' said Eduardo.
'Yeah,' said Kevin. 'It could be a lot worse than that, Uncle Eduardo.'
'You mean you're relieved he hasn't tried to forcibly castrate you or something.'
'That isn't exactly what I mean, but you're not a million miles away.'
'No matter what else I've ever thought about your dad,' said Eduardo, 'I've never doubted how much he loves you.'
'Yeah, I know he does,' said Kevin, then he smiled wryly. 'He's probably cursing you for introducing me and Oscar in the first place!'
'Another one for the list of things I've done to ruin his life,' Eduardo laughed. 'But that doesn't bother me – the important thing is how you feel, Kev.'
'I really have never felt better in my life,' said Kevin. 'I'll always be more grateful to you than I can put into words for introducing me to my soulmate, plus I'm really excited about becoming a big brother! Oh, and a big first cousin, of course.'
'You'll be el mejor hermano mayor in the history of the world, Kev,' said Eduardo. 'There's absolutely no doubt about that.'
'Thanks, Uncle Eduardo,' said Kevin, smiling gratefully. 'And you'll be el mejor papá!'
'I don't know about that,' Eduardo said with a laugh.
'You'll be better than mine anyway,' said Kevin, grinning.
'I'm certainly aiming well within esos parámetros,' Eduardo admitted.
'Maybe I shouldn't have said that,' said Kevin.
'Don't worry about it, Kev,' said Eduardo. 'Like I've told you before, you can say or not say whatever you want or don't want when you're in my house.'
'You don't have a house just yet,' Kevin laughed.
'Mi casa, smart-ass!' said Eduardo. 'My home – that's what I should've said.'
'You know, Uncle Eduardo,' said Kevin, 'it turns out I might want to become a Ghostbuster after all, sometime in the next couple of years... after I finish school, maybe. That's if the offer's still open, of course.'
'It's always open, Kev,' said Eduardo. 'You didn't think I was gonna tell you to get lost 'cause you turned me down once, did you?'
'I don't know,' said Kevin, going slightly red. 'Maybe.'
'I guess you don't know your Uncle Eduardo so well as you thought, huh?' Eduardo laughed.
'Yeah,' Kevin grinned, 'maybe not.'
'You already have one part-time job,' said Eduardo. 'Aren't you planning to keep on working at Tom's Mexican Salsa Hut?'
'Actually I'm hoping to keep on working there for about two years,' said Kevin. 'And a few extra months on top of that, I expect. The thing is, Uncle Eduardo, I want to earn as much money as I can in the year after I leave school because... well, because I'm saving up for something very special.'
'Are you planning some kind of huge, extravagant wedding for you and Oscar?'
'Hey! If you think that, you don't know your tiny little nephew so well as you thought! If we do ever get married, I'm pretty sure it's not gonna be the kind of wedding you save up for. Besides, it's not even legal for me and Oscar to get married... not yet, anyway.'
'So do you want to tell me what you are saving up for?' Eduardo asked. 'I have to admit, I'm incredibly curious now.'
'Yeah, I do want to tell you,' said Kevin. 'Me and Oscar are planning a six-month backpacking tour around Mexico after he finishes school.'
'Oh, wow!' said Eduardo. 'That is such an excellent idea, Kev!'
Kevin smiled and said, 'I'm really glad you think so, Uncle Eduardo.'
'Of course I do – for so many reasons! Wow, you and Oscar really will have the time of your lives!'
'Yeah, I think we'll both get a whole lot out of it, also for so many reasons. That's if it ever happens, of course.'
'You'll make it happen, Kev,' said Eduardo. 'I'll help out if necessary – I have more money than any of you!'
'Not for long, you don't,' Kevin pointed out. 'You're just about to buy a house and start a family!'
'Oh yeah,' Eduardo said with a laugh. 'I guess it's a good thing we're close to our final Buffy Night after all – we're both just not gonna have time for that!'
'Yeah,' said Kevin, 'I guess we're not. But we'd have made time anyway, right, if we'd needed to?'
'Right,' said Eduardo, 'of course we would. Jeez, would you look at how late it's gotten? We'd better get you home now.'
'Okay,' said Kevin. 'Thanks, Uncle Eduardo – for... well, for everything.'
Eduardo smiled and said, 'De nada, Kev.'
'Yeah,' said Kevin, grinning. 'I thought the title sounded kinda interesting, and the episode didn't let me down. It was genuinely funny, for one thing.'
'I have to admit, I thought I was long past laughing at anything the Buffyverse had to throw at me,' said Eduardo, 'but when Angel turned into a Muppet... well, that was funny!'
'“My nose comes off”,' Kevin giggled. 'I've said it before and I'll say it again – this season is so much better than season four! Although I guess it had to be, after all that Jasmine crap.'
'For sure,' said Eduardo. 'I do miss Cordelia, though.'
'I'm glad you were right about her coming back for an episode in this half,' said Kevin.
'Well, like you've sometimes told me, I'm usually right about stuff,' Eduardo said with a laugh. 'I thought that Cordelia episode was pretty well done.'
'Me too,' said Kevin. 'I hope the rest of the season is as good as that one and today's episode, so the series goes out on a high... and the Buffyverse with it.'
'Yeah, and the Buffyverse with it,' Eduardo said wistfully. 'I guess our final ever Buffy Night will be in May sometime.'
'Yeah,' said Kevin, 'I guess so. Oh my God, that's just hit me for the first time – our final ever Buffy Night... wow.'
'Our first ever Buffy Night seems like yesterday in some ways, but it was all the way back in March ninety-seven,' said Eduardo. 'That's coming up on seven years, Kev.'
'Christ,' Kevin remarked.
'I can't believe how much has changed since then,' Eduardo sighed. 'Well, I guess I can, really – I mean, it's only natural, right?'
'Sure,' said Kevin.
'You were only nine, Kev,' said Eduardo. 'You were so small, and just look at you now – you're bigger than me!'
Kevin laughed and said, 'We're just about the same size, Uncle Eduardo.'
'Do you remember telling me you thought that first episode of Buffy was “radical”?' Eduardo asked.
'Yeah, I do remember that,' said Kevin, still laughing. 'God, I used to say everything was radical back then, didn't I? How incredibly embarrassing!'
'I thought it was really cute,' said Eduardo. 'But I guess you've changed a lot in seven years, huh?'
'Yeah, I guess I have,' said Kevin. 'In some ways, anyhow.'
'I'd only just started out as a Ghostbuster in March ninety-seven,' said Eduardo. 'I wasn't even completely sure I wanted to keep doing it much longer.'
'And now you're the boss!' Kevin grinned, giving Eduardo a punch on the arm. 'Who would've guessed that?'
'Definitely not me!' said Eduardo. 'I mainly thought about Kylie when I thought about ghostbusting. She was on my mind a whole lot back then – well, she still is now – but I thought she hated me! That's why I decided to stick with Bess for a while and see how things turned out, even though I knew I wasn't that much into her.'
'Yeah, 'cause you were totally into Kylie!' Kevin laughed. 'And now she's in the bedroom with your kid inside her!'
'I guess that's why I'm being so nostalgic all of a sudden,' Eduardo said with a sigh. 'No more Buffy Nights, impending fatherhood, my tiny little nephew grown into a big hulking creature... and you haven't only changed physically, of course. You... well, you have Oscar now.'
Kevin grinned and said, 'I sure do. Who would've guessed that, the way I used to react when I was watching Buffy doing her stuff? It just goes to prove, our tastes change as we grow.'
'How are things going between the two of you?' Eduardo asked.
'Really, really great!' said Kevin.
'Is your dad being cool about... everything?'
'He'd probably have a heart attack if he knew everything!'
'But he's being okay about what he does know, right?'
'He's being... quiet.'
'Quiet, huh?' said Eduardo.
'Yeah,' said Kevin. 'It could be a lot worse than that, Uncle Eduardo.'
'You mean you're relieved he hasn't tried to forcibly castrate you or something.'
'That isn't exactly what I mean, but you're not a million miles away.'
'No matter what else I've ever thought about your dad,' said Eduardo, 'I've never doubted how much he loves you.'
'Yeah, I know he does,' said Kevin, then he smiled wryly. 'He's probably cursing you for introducing me and Oscar in the first place!'
'Another one for the list of things I've done to ruin his life,' Eduardo laughed. 'But that doesn't bother me – the important thing is how you feel, Kev.'
'I really have never felt better in my life,' said Kevin. 'I'll always be more grateful to you than I can put into words for introducing me to my soulmate, plus I'm really excited about becoming a big brother! Oh, and a big first cousin, of course.'
'You'll be el mejor hermano mayor in the history of the world, Kev,' said Eduardo. 'There's absolutely no doubt about that.'
'Thanks, Uncle Eduardo,' said Kevin, smiling gratefully. 'And you'll be el mejor papá!'
'I don't know about that,' Eduardo said with a laugh.
'You'll be better than mine anyway,' said Kevin, grinning.
'I'm certainly aiming well within esos parámetros,' Eduardo admitted.
'Maybe I shouldn't have said that,' said Kevin.
'Don't worry about it, Kev,' said Eduardo. 'Like I've told you before, you can say or not say whatever you want or don't want when you're in my house.'
'You don't have a house just yet,' Kevin laughed.
'Mi casa, smart-ass!' said Eduardo. 'My home – that's what I should've said.'
'You know, Uncle Eduardo,' said Kevin, 'it turns out I might want to become a Ghostbuster after all, sometime in the next couple of years... after I finish school, maybe. That's if the offer's still open, of course.'
'It's always open, Kev,' said Eduardo. 'You didn't think I was gonna tell you to get lost 'cause you turned me down once, did you?'
'I don't know,' said Kevin, going slightly red. 'Maybe.'
'I guess you don't know your Uncle Eduardo so well as you thought, huh?' Eduardo laughed.
'Yeah,' Kevin grinned, 'maybe not.'
'You already have one part-time job,' said Eduardo. 'Aren't you planning to keep on working at Tom's Mexican Salsa Hut?'
'Actually I'm hoping to keep on working there for about two years,' said Kevin. 'And a few extra months on top of that, I expect. The thing is, Uncle Eduardo, I want to earn as much money as I can in the year after I leave school because... well, because I'm saving up for something very special.'
'Are you planning some kind of huge, extravagant wedding for you and Oscar?'
'Hey! If you think that, you don't know your tiny little nephew so well as you thought! If we do ever get married, I'm pretty sure it's not gonna be the kind of wedding you save up for. Besides, it's not even legal for me and Oscar to get married... not yet, anyway.'
'So do you want to tell me what you are saving up for?' Eduardo asked. 'I have to admit, I'm incredibly curious now.'
'Yeah, I do want to tell you,' said Kevin. 'Me and Oscar are planning a six-month backpacking tour around Mexico after he finishes school.'
'Oh, wow!' said Eduardo. 'That is such an excellent idea, Kev!'
Kevin smiled and said, 'I'm really glad you think so, Uncle Eduardo.'
'Of course I do – for so many reasons! Wow, you and Oscar really will have the time of your lives!'
'Yeah, I think we'll both get a whole lot out of it, also for so many reasons. That's if it ever happens, of course.'
'You'll make it happen, Kev,' said Eduardo. 'I'll help out if necessary – I have more money than any of you!'
'Not for long, you don't,' Kevin pointed out. 'You're just about to buy a house and start a family!'
'Oh yeah,' Eduardo said with a laugh. 'I guess it's a good thing we're close to our final Buffy Night after all – we're both just not gonna have time for that!'
'Yeah,' said Kevin, 'I guess we're not. But we'd have made time anyway, right, if we'd needed to?'
'Right,' said Eduardo, 'of course we would. Jeez, would you look at how late it's gotten? We'd better get you home now.'
'Okay,' said Kevin. 'Thanks, Uncle Eduardo – for... well, for everything.'
Eduardo smiled and said, 'De nada, Kev.'
Eduardo came into the bedroom, gave Kylie a weak smile, climbed into bed next to her and then cuddled into the bedclothes with his back to her.
'Is everything okay, sweetie?' Kylie asked, turning a page in the book she was reading.
'Sure,' said Eduardo, his voice sounding slightly strained. 'Everything's just fine.'
'You seem a little weird,' said Kylie. 'I was worried Kevin might've given you some bad news or something.'
'No,' said Eduardo.
'So what were you guys talking about in there?' Kylie persisted, reaching for her bookmark. 'I heard you both yammering away for ages after the TV had been switched off. Or is it none of my business? Private boys' stuff, I mean.'
'Not really,' said Eduardo. 'We were talking about the passage of time.'
'The passage of time, huh? Sounds like the kind of place you might meet Jack the Ripper.'
'Yeah.'
Kylie frowned slightly, replaced her book on her nightstand, cuddled up to Eduardo's back and then jabbed him in the ribs. He squealed.
'You're crying, you complete wuss!' Kylie laughed, leaning over his shoulder so that their heads were side by side.
'I'm not!' said Eduardo, turning noticeably red eyes to look at her. 'I'm just thinking, is all.'
'About the passage of time?'
'Yeah. Everything goes so slow when you're young, but now... well, everything seems to be changing so fast! Soon there'll be no more Buffyverse for me and Kevin to enjoy together, and neither of us is gonna have time for it anyway!'
'Oh, Eduardo,' said Kylie. 'You'd have made time for Buffy – it's for Angel now, actually, isn't it? – and you'll certainly still make time for each other.'
'I sure hope so, Ky,' said Eduardo. 'Kevin's all grown up now, and he's in an adult relationship that I think is gonna last forever, so maybe he won't want to hang out with his uncle anymore... and we're having a baby!'
'That's a good thing, sweetie,' said Kylie.
'Of course it is,' said Eduardo, 'but it's pretty scary too, when you stop and think about it.'
'And you're not even the one who has to give birth when the time comes,' said Kylie, laughing slightly. 'Even so, I'm mainly feeling excited about the whole thing... but yeah, it is pretty scary too. No, not scary exactly – sobering... yeah, sobering. But you're completely wrong about Kevin, you know. You two will always be very special to each other; a bond like that doesn't just go away because a TV show ends or someone has a baby.'
Eduardo nodded, then he turned over and enfolded Kylie in his arms. She snuggled up to him at once.
'That's better,' she remarked. 'You know, Eduardo, I'm very wary of the day when we both get into bed and turn our backs to each other.'
'It's never gonna happen, Ky.'
'You just made it half happen!'
'It wasn't like that,' said Eduardo. 'I just needed a moment.'
'Did I intrude on that moment?' said Kylie. 'I'm sorry; maybe that was insensitive of me.'
'You didn't intrude,' said Eduardo. 'Maybe it was insensitive of me not to share my feelings with you straight off.'
'I don't think it was,' said Kylie. 'You're right – we all need to take a moment sometimes.'
They then took a moment to kiss each other tenderly.
'Did you and Kevin talk about me when you were discussing the passage of time?' Kylie asked.
'We mentioned you, yeah,' said Eduardo.
'Did you mention Oscar?'
'Yup, we mentioned him too.'
'Carl?'
'Yes, but less than I expected, and with a lot less genuine resentment... which I think indicates good things about Kevin's state of mind right now... and mine, I guess.'
'How about the babies?'
'We also mentioned them, yeah.'
'Y'know, that's all Roland wanted to talk about when I was video-calling him,' said Kylie.
'When did you do that?' asked Eduardo.
'During Angel. I'm sure he was looking at my baby bump the whole time. I think he's jealous.'
'You mean like the resentful, sour grapes kind of jealousy?'
'Of course not. He's really happy for us.'
'The happy-for-you-but-wish-it-was-me kind of jealousy, then.'
'Yeah, I guess so,' said Kylie. 'I'm just kinda worried about him. I mean, he's not in a position to do anything about it right now, is he?'
Eduardo shrugged. 'I'm sure he'll figure it out eventually.'
'I guess,' said Kylie. 'Hey, Eduardo, do you know one of my favourite things about being pregnant?'
'What's that?' said Eduardo.
'It's the most effective form of contraception there is,' Kylie said significantly.
'I guess that's one way of looking at it,' Eduardo laughed.
'It's a very good way, when you're feeling like I'm feeling right now,' said Kylie. 'Are you feeling the same way, Eduardo, or do you need to have another cry instead?'
'When it comes to you, Kylie,' said Eduardo, 'there aren't enough tears in the world to stop me!'
He opened his mouth and lunged at her. She squealed, and reached to turn off the bedside light.
'Is everything okay, sweetie?' Kylie asked, turning a page in the book she was reading.
'Sure,' said Eduardo, his voice sounding slightly strained. 'Everything's just fine.'
'You seem a little weird,' said Kylie. 'I was worried Kevin might've given you some bad news or something.'
'No,' said Eduardo.
'So what were you guys talking about in there?' Kylie persisted, reaching for her bookmark. 'I heard you both yammering away for ages after the TV had been switched off. Or is it none of my business? Private boys' stuff, I mean.'
'Not really,' said Eduardo. 'We were talking about the passage of time.'
'The passage of time, huh? Sounds like the kind of place you might meet Jack the Ripper.'
'Yeah.'
Kylie frowned slightly, replaced her book on her nightstand, cuddled up to Eduardo's back and then jabbed him in the ribs. He squealed.
'You're crying, you complete wuss!' Kylie laughed, leaning over his shoulder so that their heads were side by side.
'I'm not!' said Eduardo, turning noticeably red eyes to look at her. 'I'm just thinking, is all.'
'About the passage of time?'
'Yeah. Everything goes so slow when you're young, but now... well, everything seems to be changing so fast! Soon there'll be no more Buffyverse for me and Kevin to enjoy together, and neither of us is gonna have time for it anyway!'
'Oh, Eduardo,' said Kylie. 'You'd have made time for Buffy – it's for Angel now, actually, isn't it? – and you'll certainly still make time for each other.'
'I sure hope so, Ky,' said Eduardo. 'Kevin's all grown up now, and he's in an adult relationship that I think is gonna last forever, so maybe he won't want to hang out with his uncle anymore... and we're having a baby!'
'That's a good thing, sweetie,' said Kylie.
'Of course it is,' said Eduardo, 'but it's pretty scary too, when you stop and think about it.'
'And you're not even the one who has to give birth when the time comes,' said Kylie, laughing slightly. 'Even so, I'm mainly feeling excited about the whole thing... but yeah, it is pretty scary too. No, not scary exactly – sobering... yeah, sobering. But you're completely wrong about Kevin, you know. You two will always be very special to each other; a bond like that doesn't just go away because a TV show ends or someone has a baby.'
Eduardo nodded, then he turned over and enfolded Kylie in his arms. She snuggled up to him at once.
'That's better,' she remarked. 'You know, Eduardo, I'm very wary of the day when we both get into bed and turn our backs to each other.'
'It's never gonna happen, Ky.'
'You just made it half happen!'
'It wasn't like that,' said Eduardo. 'I just needed a moment.'
'Did I intrude on that moment?' said Kylie. 'I'm sorry; maybe that was insensitive of me.'
'You didn't intrude,' said Eduardo. 'Maybe it was insensitive of me not to share my feelings with you straight off.'
'I don't think it was,' said Kylie. 'You're right – we all need to take a moment sometimes.'
They then took a moment to kiss each other tenderly.
'Did you and Kevin talk about me when you were discussing the passage of time?' Kylie asked.
'We mentioned you, yeah,' said Eduardo.
'Did you mention Oscar?'
'Yup, we mentioned him too.'
'Carl?'
'Yes, but less than I expected, and with a lot less genuine resentment... which I think indicates good things about Kevin's state of mind right now... and mine, I guess.'
'How about the babies?'
'We also mentioned them, yeah.'
'Y'know, that's all Roland wanted to talk about when I was video-calling him,' said Kylie.
'When did you do that?' asked Eduardo.
'During Angel. I'm sure he was looking at my baby bump the whole time. I think he's jealous.'
'You mean like the resentful, sour grapes kind of jealousy?'
'Of course not. He's really happy for us.'
'The happy-for-you-but-wish-it-was-me kind of jealousy, then.'
'Yeah, I guess so,' said Kylie. 'I'm just kinda worried about him. I mean, he's not in a position to do anything about it right now, is he?'
Eduardo shrugged. 'I'm sure he'll figure it out eventually.'
'I guess,' said Kylie. 'Hey, Eduardo, do you know one of my favourite things about being pregnant?'
'What's that?' said Eduardo.
'It's the most effective form of contraception there is,' Kylie said significantly.
'I guess that's one way of looking at it,' Eduardo laughed.
'It's a very good way, when you're feeling like I'm feeling right now,' said Kylie. 'Are you feeling the same way, Eduardo, or do you need to have another cry instead?'
'When it comes to you, Kylie,' said Eduardo, 'there aren't enough tears in the world to stop me!'
He opened his mouth and lunged at her. She squealed, and reached to turn off the bedside light.