Summer Special: As Children Grow, Part 3
Written by Rosey Collins
Additional material by Jake Collins
Additional material by Jake Collins
'Well?' said Beth, frowning slightly at her husband across the breakfast bar. 'Don't you have anything to say?'
'So that's why Kevin wanted to wave me off,' Carl said flatly.
'Carl...' said Beth.
'It's... it's a lot to take in, Beth,' said Carl. 'So... so this baby is going to come out of Lucy, right?'
'That's right,' said Beth. 'You should be pretty happy about that, Carl – I seem to remember a period of about four years when you were desperate for Kevin and Lucy to exchange a few bodily fluids!'
'Yes, but not in a test tube!' Carl exclaimed. 'Now just let me get this straight, Beth. Lucy's carrying the baby but it's not hers, right? Biologically, I mean.'
'No; the baby's biological mother is Oscar's half-sister.'
'You mean Jessica?'
'No, the other one – Emilia, his English half-sister.'
'But isn't her brother married to...? Anyway, I thought Oscar didn't get along with his English family.'
'That's not exactly it, Carl,' said Beth. 'He just never really connected with them emotionally. Emilia reached out to him when she was studying in Vermont and... well, things went on from there really.'
'Okay, so this Emilia is the kid's biological mother,' said Carl. 'And Kevin is the kid's biological father, right?'
'Yes, he is,' said Beth.
'It's definitely not Oscar?'
'Just think for a moment about why that's an incredibly stupid question, Carl.'
'Um... oh. Oh, yeah. So it really is our grandkid, then.'
'Carl,' Beth said, a slightly warning tone to her voice, 'Kevin's kid would be our grandkid no matter who its biological parents were.'
'Yes... yes, of course it would,' said Carl.
'Kevin did sit and explain all this to both of us a few months ago,' Beth pointed out.
'I know,' said Carl, 'but I didn't really take any of it in at the time, I have to admit. So Kevin's kid is inside Lucy, and it's technically Oscar's nephew even though he's going to be its other parent... the world's gone completely crazy, Beth!'
'No it hasn't, Carl,' Beth said firmly. 'It's just caught up a little with the beauty of the human soul.'
'My grandkid, coming into the world that way...' said Carl. 'It's... it's not normal, Beth.'
'Your grandkid is going to be just as normal as any other kid!' Beth said hotly.
'Of course it's not going to be normal, it'll have two daddies!' Carl snapped.
'Carl!' Beth exclaimed, sounding utterly horrified. 'I can't believe you just said that!'
Carl looked absolutely mortified. Beth's expression softened slightly.
'Beth, I'm ashamed,' said Carl. 'I didn't mean what I said.'
'You did, Carl,' Beth said quietly. 'On some level, you did. But how do you think Kevin would have felt if he'd heard you say that? And what about Jamie? The bottom would've fallen out of his world, Carl. He's never known who...'
'Who I really am?' Carl finished for her. 'Jamie doesn't know who his dad really is; is that what you're telling me, Beth?'
'Jamie doesn't know who his dad really was,' Beth said firmly. 'But he knows who you are, Carl, and so do I – you just need to make sure you carry on being that person.'
'Kevin knows who I am,' Carl said darkly. 'Or who I was, if that's how you want to put it. Kevin wouldn't have been surprised to hear me say what I said, however else he might've felt about it; I lost him a long time ago, in many ways.'
'No you didn't, Carl,' Beth said, fairly sharply. 'Pull yourself together, for God's sake! Now, what do you think about these house-moving plans?'
'Well, downsizing really seems like the next logical step for us,' said Carl, 'but I can see the merits of your idea.'
'The emotional merits?' Beth suggested.
'All the merits,' said Carl. 'But yes, the emotional ones amongst them. I'm not made of stone, Beth.'
'You don't need to tell me that, Carl,' said Beth.
'Would Kevin really want to live with me again? And what about Oscar?'
'That depends on whether you can persuade them that you want to live with them!'
'But I do – of course I do!' said Carl.
'You're in favour of the plan where they move in here with us, then?' said Beth. 'I'm absolutely thrilled if you are, because that's what I really, really want.'
'Yes, I'm in favour of that plan,' said Carl, 'but we'll just have to wait and see what Kevin and Oscar think before we get too excited. This is a decision all four of us have to make, together.'
Beth smiled and nodded, then the front door burst open and the sounds of several people piling into the hallway became clearly audible. Moments later James poked his head through the kitchen door, saying, 'I just let everybody in.'
'Who's everybody, honey?' asked Beth.
'Well,' said James, 'I brought Isabel; Chita and Rose and Kylie and Uncle Eduardo are here to wish you a happy retirement, Dad, and those two Ghostbuster people are here to see if Rose... you know... laid any more eggs, or whatever it is.'
'Oh, I see,' said Beth. 'Then I guess you'd better invite the family to come in and see us, and tell Josh and Freya to go ahead and do whatever they need, and you can take Isabel to your room, or do whatever you want with her really.'
Carl looked confused and horrified at this while James wandered off, oblivious. Beth gave her husband a sharp look, then stood up and started making instant coffee.
'Anyone want coffee?' she asked as Kylie, Eduardo, Conchita and Rose filed in. 'And you can help yourselves to snacks, girls – there's Go-Gurt and fruit cups and Sunny Delight in the fridge. You can have that too if you want, Eduardo and Kylie – it's completely up to you. Or would any of you like me to get you something else?'
Everyone took a moment to process all this, then Conchita and Rose went over to the fridge while Kylie said, 'Coffee's great, Beth, thank you.'
'Yeah, me too,' said Eduardo. 'Thanks, Beth. So.' He went over to the breakfast bar and sat down opposite Carl. 'There's no Rivera on the force for a few years now, and the world hasn't come to an end, has it?'
'Not quite,' Carl said heavily. 'Have you gotten that demon out of Rose yet?'
'Not yet,' said Rose, who was now munching on a dark pink fruit cup.
'But we're close,' Conchita added, wiping a dribble of Go-Gurt from her chin as she spoke. 'Rosy's feeling a lot more positive today, aren't you, Rose?'
'I guess I feel okay,' said Rose. 'Do you think Kevin would mind if I went up to see if Merida's still scared of me?'
'I think Kevin would love that, honey,' said Beth.
'Cool,' said Rose. 'He's there now, right? I'll go up after I've finished my fruit cup. Anyway, congrats for getting through your NYPD career in one piece, Uncle Carl.'
'Thank you, Rose,' said Carl.
Conchita sucked up the last of her Go-Gurt and threw away the container, then went over to Carl and gave him a hug. He smiled and patted her awkwardly on the back, just as Josh and Freya came into the room, each wielding a quiet PKE meter.
'Last room in the house, Eduardo,' said Freya, waving her meter around, 'and it's clean.'
'That's great,' said Eduardo, and he grinned at Rose. 'Hear that, Rosy? No more babies. That's got to be a good sign, right?'
'If that means it's loosened its grip on me,' said Rose, 'can't you guys just blast me right now and get rid of it?'
'Hey, maybe we could do that,' said Freya, looking enquiringly at Eduardo.
'Well,' said Eduardo, 'we might try it if we have to, but I think you should go up to Kevin's first.'
'Why?' asked Rose, looking at him suspiciously. 'What have you two been planning?'
'Nothing,' said Eduardo. 'It's just that he's been through the same kind of thing – it might do you some more good to talk to him before we try anything else.'
'Okay,' said Rose, still looking suspicious as she mooched off.
'So,' said Josh, looking at Conchita, 'looks like maybe we're almost done here, huh?'
'I guess so,' said Conchita.
Josh opened his mouth to say more, but there followed only an awkward silence as he looked from Conchita to Eduardo to Carl and back again.
Carl frowned, then said loudly and suddenly, 'So you people are done here and you can go, right? What were you even looking for, anyway?'
'The babies that Rose's demon's been having, Carl,' said Eduardo. 'Didn't you pick that up?'
'You can't expect me to pick up everything!' Carl snapped. 'There's so much going on! What babies – how does that work? Oh my God – has this demon been raping my niece or something?'
'No, sir, it's not like that,' said Josh.
'Not any more than any other possessing entity,' Freya added.
'Are they dangerous, these babies?' asked Beth. 'If you did happen to miss any... which would be completely understandable... would something happen?'
'That's more than we know,' said Freya, 'but Egon has his theory that the babies have limited powers and could do some damage to someone with really strong, really obvious negative emotions. So they'd have to be, like, really upset.'
'Well,' said Beth, 'no one here is really upset. Right, Carl?'
'Right,' said Carl. 'We're all fine here... perfectly happy. I, um... I think I'll go say hi to Jamie.'
He stood up and made for the door, forcing Josh to leap out of his path as he threatened to bulldoze into him. Conchita and Eduardo exchanged anxious looks, then Conchita picked up her school satchel and went running after her uncle.
'Is something going on, Eduardo?' asked Beth, catching their look. 'Something I don't know about, I mean.'
'I don't know,' said Eduardo. 'Did you know that Chita told Carl about Isabel?'
'About Isabel?' said Beth. 'You mean... that about Isabel?'
'Yeah,' said Eduardo.
'Wait,' said Kylie. 'You mean Carl didn't know...?'
'I'm afraid so,' said Beth.
'Whoa,' said Kylie. 'How on earth did he miss that?'
'So that's why Kevin wanted to wave me off,' Carl said flatly.
'Carl...' said Beth.
'It's... it's a lot to take in, Beth,' said Carl. 'So... so this baby is going to come out of Lucy, right?'
'That's right,' said Beth. 'You should be pretty happy about that, Carl – I seem to remember a period of about four years when you were desperate for Kevin and Lucy to exchange a few bodily fluids!'
'Yes, but not in a test tube!' Carl exclaimed. 'Now just let me get this straight, Beth. Lucy's carrying the baby but it's not hers, right? Biologically, I mean.'
'No; the baby's biological mother is Oscar's half-sister.'
'You mean Jessica?'
'No, the other one – Emilia, his English half-sister.'
'But isn't her brother married to...? Anyway, I thought Oscar didn't get along with his English family.'
'That's not exactly it, Carl,' said Beth. 'He just never really connected with them emotionally. Emilia reached out to him when she was studying in Vermont and... well, things went on from there really.'
'Okay, so this Emilia is the kid's biological mother,' said Carl. 'And Kevin is the kid's biological father, right?'
'Yes, he is,' said Beth.
'It's definitely not Oscar?'
'Just think for a moment about why that's an incredibly stupid question, Carl.'
'Um... oh. Oh, yeah. So it really is our grandkid, then.'
'Carl,' Beth said, a slightly warning tone to her voice, 'Kevin's kid would be our grandkid no matter who its biological parents were.'
'Yes... yes, of course it would,' said Carl.
'Kevin did sit and explain all this to both of us a few months ago,' Beth pointed out.
'I know,' said Carl, 'but I didn't really take any of it in at the time, I have to admit. So Kevin's kid is inside Lucy, and it's technically Oscar's nephew even though he's going to be its other parent... the world's gone completely crazy, Beth!'
'No it hasn't, Carl,' Beth said firmly. 'It's just caught up a little with the beauty of the human soul.'
'My grandkid, coming into the world that way...' said Carl. 'It's... it's not normal, Beth.'
'Your grandkid is going to be just as normal as any other kid!' Beth said hotly.
'Of course it's not going to be normal, it'll have two daddies!' Carl snapped.
'Carl!' Beth exclaimed, sounding utterly horrified. 'I can't believe you just said that!'
Carl looked absolutely mortified. Beth's expression softened slightly.
'Beth, I'm ashamed,' said Carl. 'I didn't mean what I said.'
'You did, Carl,' Beth said quietly. 'On some level, you did. But how do you think Kevin would have felt if he'd heard you say that? And what about Jamie? The bottom would've fallen out of his world, Carl. He's never known who...'
'Who I really am?' Carl finished for her. 'Jamie doesn't know who his dad really is; is that what you're telling me, Beth?'
'Jamie doesn't know who his dad really was,' Beth said firmly. 'But he knows who you are, Carl, and so do I – you just need to make sure you carry on being that person.'
'Kevin knows who I am,' Carl said darkly. 'Or who I was, if that's how you want to put it. Kevin wouldn't have been surprised to hear me say what I said, however else he might've felt about it; I lost him a long time ago, in many ways.'
'No you didn't, Carl,' Beth said, fairly sharply. 'Pull yourself together, for God's sake! Now, what do you think about these house-moving plans?'
'Well, downsizing really seems like the next logical step for us,' said Carl, 'but I can see the merits of your idea.'
'The emotional merits?' Beth suggested.
'All the merits,' said Carl. 'But yes, the emotional ones amongst them. I'm not made of stone, Beth.'
'You don't need to tell me that, Carl,' said Beth.
'Would Kevin really want to live with me again? And what about Oscar?'
'That depends on whether you can persuade them that you want to live with them!'
'But I do – of course I do!' said Carl.
'You're in favour of the plan where they move in here with us, then?' said Beth. 'I'm absolutely thrilled if you are, because that's what I really, really want.'
'Yes, I'm in favour of that plan,' said Carl, 'but we'll just have to wait and see what Kevin and Oscar think before we get too excited. This is a decision all four of us have to make, together.'
Beth smiled and nodded, then the front door burst open and the sounds of several people piling into the hallway became clearly audible. Moments later James poked his head through the kitchen door, saying, 'I just let everybody in.'
'Who's everybody, honey?' asked Beth.
'Well,' said James, 'I brought Isabel; Chita and Rose and Kylie and Uncle Eduardo are here to wish you a happy retirement, Dad, and those two Ghostbuster people are here to see if Rose... you know... laid any more eggs, or whatever it is.'
'Oh, I see,' said Beth. 'Then I guess you'd better invite the family to come in and see us, and tell Josh and Freya to go ahead and do whatever they need, and you can take Isabel to your room, or do whatever you want with her really.'
Carl looked confused and horrified at this while James wandered off, oblivious. Beth gave her husband a sharp look, then stood up and started making instant coffee.
'Anyone want coffee?' she asked as Kylie, Eduardo, Conchita and Rose filed in. 'And you can help yourselves to snacks, girls – there's Go-Gurt and fruit cups and Sunny Delight in the fridge. You can have that too if you want, Eduardo and Kylie – it's completely up to you. Or would any of you like me to get you something else?'
Everyone took a moment to process all this, then Conchita and Rose went over to the fridge while Kylie said, 'Coffee's great, Beth, thank you.'
'Yeah, me too,' said Eduardo. 'Thanks, Beth. So.' He went over to the breakfast bar and sat down opposite Carl. 'There's no Rivera on the force for a few years now, and the world hasn't come to an end, has it?'
'Not quite,' Carl said heavily. 'Have you gotten that demon out of Rose yet?'
'Not yet,' said Rose, who was now munching on a dark pink fruit cup.
'But we're close,' Conchita added, wiping a dribble of Go-Gurt from her chin as she spoke. 'Rosy's feeling a lot more positive today, aren't you, Rose?'
'I guess I feel okay,' said Rose. 'Do you think Kevin would mind if I went up to see if Merida's still scared of me?'
'I think Kevin would love that, honey,' said Beth.
'Cool,' said Rose. 'He's there now, right? I'll go up after I've finished my fruit cup. Anyway, congrats for getting through your NYPD career in one piece, Uncle Carl.'
'Thank you, Rose,' said Carl.
Conchita sucked up the last of her Go-Gurt and threw away the container, then went over to Carl and gave him a hug. He smiled and patted her awkwardly on the back, just as Josh and Freya came into the room, each wielding a quiet PKE meter.
'Last room in the house, Eduardo,' said Freya, waving her meter around, 'and it's clean.'
'That's great,' said Eduardo, and he grinned at Rose. 'Hear that, Rosy? No more babies. That's got to be a good sign, right?'
'If that means it's loosened its grip on me,' said Rose, 'can't you guys just blast me right now and get rid of it?'
'Hey, maybe we could do that,' said Freya, looking enquiringly at Eduardo.
'Well,' said Eduardo, 'we might try it if we have to, but I think you should go up to Kevin's first.'
'Why?' asked Rose, looking at him suspiciously. 'What have you two been planning?'
'Nothing,' said Eduardo. 'It's just that he's been through the same kind of thing – it might do you some more good to talk to him before we try anything else.'
'Okay,' said Rose, still looking suspicious as she mooched off.
'So,' said Josh, looking at Conchita, 'looks like maybe we're almost done here, huh?'
'I guess so,' said Conchita.
Josh opened his mouth to say more, but there followed only an awkward silence as he looked from Conchita to Eduardo to Carl and back again.
Carl frowned, then said loudly and suddenly, 'So you people are done here and you can go, right? What were you even looking for, anyway?'
'The babies that Rose's demon's been having, Carl,' said Eduardo. 'Didn't you pick that up?'
'You can't expect me to pick up everything!' Carl snapped. 'There's so much going on! What babies – how does that work? Oh my God – has this demon been raping my niece or something?'
'No, sir, it's not like that,' said Josh.
'Not any more than any other possessing entity,' Freya added.
'Are they dangerous, these babies?' asked Beth. 'If you did happen to miss any... which would be completely understandable... would something happen?'
'That's more than we know,' said Freya, 'but Egon has his theory that the babies have limited powers and could do some damage to someone with really strong, really obvious negative emotions. So they'd have to be, like, really upset.'
'Well,' said Beth, 'no one here is really upset. Right, Carl?'
'Right,' said Carl. 'We're all fine here... perfectly happy. I, um... I think I'll go say hi to Jamie.'
He stood up and made for the door, forcing Josh to leap out of his path as he threatened to bulldoze into him. Conchita and Eduardo exchanged anxious looks, then Conchita picked up her school satchel and went running after her uncle.
'Is something going on, Eduardo?' asked Beth, catching their look. 'Something I don't know about, I mean.'
'I don't know,' said Eduardo. 'Did you know that Chita told Carl about Isabel?'
'About Isabel?' said Beth. 'You mean... that about Isabel?'
'Yeah,' said Eduardo.
'Wait,' said Kylie. 'You mean Carl didn't know...?'
'I'm afraid so,' said Beth.
'Whoa,' said Kylie. 'How on earth did he miss that?'
Up in Kevin's apartment, Merida was cowering under the desk while Rose stood by the open window in the kitchenette, staring mournfully at the frightened cat. Kevin stood nearby with a sympathetic look on his face.
'I'm sure it'll be over soon,' he said.
'You're just saying that,' said Rose. 'You don't really know. It's so annoying – they could try blasting me again, or they could give me this injection, and they won't do either!'
'Y'know,' said Kevin, 'I'm not sure I like the sound of this injection.'
'I do,' said Rose. 'It sounds like the simplest and most effective way to me. Just a little prick, and then it's over.'
'Maybe just a little prick,' said Kevin, 'or maybe John or Sarah would be stabbing you for ages before they got a vein.'
'I don't think so,' said Rose, holding out both her arms.
'Oh yeah,' said Kevin, looking closely at her inner elbows. 'Wow, I wish all the kids I have to inject had nice prominent veins like that. Anyway, it's not really your veins or the needle I'm worried about – it's this serum of theirs. I know how smart and how careful and how trustworthy John and Sarah both are, but surely this stuff is basically just liquid proton. I don't see how that can be safely injected into the bloodstream.'
'Maybe it's not liquid proton,' said Rose. 'Maybe it's something else. Anyway, their mice are okay.'
'Yeah,' said Kevin, 'for now. But maybe one of them will grow an extra head or something later. I know what's going to happen, Rose. Sarah's been there since my day, and she was always wanting to try out her crazy experiments on herself to prove they worked. Any day now, she's going to inject herself with this serum, and the Ghostbusters will find themselves in some kind of a Mr Hyde situation or something.'
'Fine,' said Rose, 'let her, just as long as they fix me first.'
'They seem to have some idea that you can fix yourself.'
'No one's making a rousing speech to give me warm fuzzies to drive it out, though, are they? I mean, that's how it works, right? That's how my dad helped you get rid of your, um...'
'Lamia,' said Kevin. 'And yeah, it was something like that. Would you like me to try a rousing speech on you?'
Rose laughed a little and said, 'I've got to hear this.'
'Um,' said Kevin. 'Well, I... I don't know what it is that's troubling you.'
'Neither do I! Why can't anybody understand that?'
'But maybe... well, maybe it would give you warm fuzzies if I told you some good news, and you could pass it on to your parents and Conchita. We weren't really planning to tell anybody else yet but, well, you guys are my close family. Emotionally, I mean.'
'Damn right we are,' said Rose, with mock indignation. 'Why would you be planning on not telling us something? What the hell is it? You have to tell me right now!'
'Okay, I will,' said Kevin, a smile spreading across his face. 'Did you hear that Oscar and I were trying to have a baby?'
'Yeah, I think I heard something about that,' said Rose. 'So, wait... are you telling me it worked?'
'Yes!'
'You've got a baby coming? Wow, congratulations – that's great! So where's it coming from?'
'From Lucy. You know – my friend Lucy Chan?'
'Well, you couldn't reasonably expect a baby from my friend Lucie Jackson,' said Rose. 'Your Lucy's not the egg donor, though, right? Because that would be such a stupid idea – it'd get way too complicated emotionally.'
'Of course it would,' said Kevin. 'Oscar's English half-sister is the egg donor.'
'Well, that was nice of her,' said Rose. 'Good on Lucy too – she must really love you guys a lot.'
'Yeah, she does.'
'Okay, so since Oscar's half-sister is the biological mother, that must mean you're the biological father, right?'
'Right,' said Kevin.
'Cool,' said Rose, breaking into a grin. 'That means we'll be related by blood.'
Kevin gave her look. 'Does it make a difference?'
'I guess not, really,' said Rose. Then she squinted comically down at her nose and said, 'So, how worried are you that it'll get the Gaspar nose?'
'It doesn't matter what nose it has,' said Kevin, 'and you know it. Anyway,' he added, also squinting downwards, 'it's not so bad, is it?'
Rose shrugged and said, 'No, but if I had the choice, I'd rather have my mom's nose.'
'Yeah, so would I, I guess. My mom's, I mean.'
'Naturaca. Does this half-sister person have her mom's nose? That'd be so funny, if your baby had Oscar's stepmother's nose.'
'I, um... I never really noticed. I've only seen her a couple of times.'
'Anyway, you're letting me tell my branch of the family?' said Rose. 'Can I go do it right now?'
'I don't know,' said Kevin. 'I've actually only told my mom so far. She's probably told my dad by now; he's been home all afternoon. I wonder if she's told James yet – he might not know.'
'I hope not,' said Rose. 'If he knows, he'll have told Chita, and I want to tell her.'
'Jimmy wouldn't do that,' said Kevin. 'He knows that's the kind of thing you let other people tell.'
'Yeah, I guess,' said Rose. 'It's just... well, I do get sort of jealous of those two, you know.'
Kevin gave her a smile, half humorous and half sympathetic, and said, 'Why, because they got our moms' noses and we didn't?'
'No,' said Rose, with a little laugh, 'because they're just so damn close! If I'm that close with anyone, it's my sister, but she also has him, and okay I do have a wonderful best friend but he lives all the way in Florida, and... well, you know,' she finished with a shrug.
'I understand why you feel that way,' said Kevin. 'You do know Chita's crazy about you, right?'
'Yes,' said Rose, 'I do, and I don't want to feel jealous – I just can't help it! Like, at lunch today, I found her printing some stuff about gender and sexual orientation, and I thought about how I feel like there's too many labels now and there's no need to categorise people like that. But Chita and James don't think that at all – either of them. They see eye-to-eye on everything!'
'I can see what you mean,' said Kevin. 'Y'know, it's important to see the world in your own way. I actually agree with you about labels and stuff, Rosy, and I admire how you're one of the few members of the young generation I know who's not growing up with an inbuilt label-maker.'
Rose smiled. 'An inbuilt label-maker?'
'That's right. James has grown up hearing me and Oscar talked about as gay, homosexual, a same-sex couple...'
'Everyone says those things but you, don't they? Listen, don't let them give your kid an inbuilt label-maker, will you? I'll help if you want.'
'Thanks, Rosy,' said Kevin. 'Of course I'll want your help, if it's on offer. Y'know, with Jimmy and Chita being so close, I sort of think of you as my special cousin.'
At this, Rose's already happy face split into a full-on grin. Moments later, it disappeared as she doubled over as if in pain and began to spew white light from her nose and mouth. Kevin strode over to her, clearly alarmed, while Merida spat and yowled from her position underneath the desk.
'I'm sure it'll be over soon,' he said.
'You're just saying that,' said Rose. 'You don't really know. It's so annoying – they could try blasting me again, or they could give me this injection, and they won't do either!'
'Y'know,' said Kevin, 'I'm not sure I like the sound of this injection.'
'I do,' said Rose. 'It sounds like the simplest and most effective way to me. Just a little prick, and then it's over.'
'Maybe just a little prick,' said Kevin, 'or maybe John or Sarah would be stabbing you for ages before they got a vein.'
'I don't think so,' said Rose, holding out both her arms.
'Oh yeah,' said Kevin, looking closely at her inner elbows. 'Wow, I wish all the kids I have to inject had nice prominent veins like that. Anyway, it's not really your veins or the needle I'm worried about – it's this serum of theirs. I know how smart and how careful and how trustworthy John and Sarah both are, but surely this stuff is basically just liquid proton. I don't see how that can be safely injected into the bloodstream.'
'Maybe it's not liquid proton,' said Rose. 'Maybe it's something else. Anyway, their mice are okay.'
'Yeah,' said Kevin, 'for now. But maybe one of them will grow an extra head or something later. I know what's going to happen, Rose. Sarah's been there since my day, and she was always wanting to try out her crazy experiments on herself to prove they worked. Any day now, she's going to inject herself with this serum, and the Ghostbusters will find themselves in some kind of a Mr Hyde situation or something.'
'Fine,' said Rose, 'let her, just as long as they fix me first.'
'They seem to have some idea that you can fix yourself.'
'No one's making a rousing speech to give me warm fuzzies to drive it out, though, are they? I mean, that's how it works, right? That's how my dad helped you get rid of your, um...'
'Lamia,' said Kevin. 'And yeah, it was something like that. Would you like me to try a rousing speech on you?'
Rose laughed a little and said, 'I've got to hear this.'
'Um,' said Kevin. 'Well, I... I don't know what it is that's troubling you.'
'Neither do I! Why can't anybody understand that?'
'But maybe... well, maybe it would give you warm fuzzies if I told you some good news, and you could pass it on to your parents and Conchita. We weren't really planning to tell anybody else yet but, well, you guys are my close family. Emotionally, I mean.'
'Damn right we are,' said Rose, with mock indignation. 'Why would you be planning on not telling us something? What the hell is it? You have to tell me right now!'
'Okay, I will,' said Kevin, a smile spreading across his face. 'Did you hear that Oscar and I were trying to have a baby?'
'Yeah, I think I heard something about that,' said Rose. 'So, wait... are you telling me it worked?'
'Yes!'
'You've got a baby coming? Wow, congratulations – that's great! So where's it coming from?'
'From Lucy. You know – my friend Lucy Chan?'
'Well, you couldn't reasonably expect a baby from my friend Lucie Jackson,' said Rose. 'Your Lucy's not the egg donor, though, right? Because that would be such a stupid idea – it'd get way too complicated emotionally.'
'Of course it would,' said Kevin. 'Oscar's English half-sister is the egg donor.'
'Well, that was nice of her,' said Rose. 'Good on Lucy too – she must really love you guys a lot.'
'Yeah, she does.'
'Okay, so since Oscar's half-sister is the biological mother, that must mean you're the biological father, right?'
'Right,' said Kevin.
'Cool,' said Rose, breaking into a grin. 'That means we'll be related by blood.'
Kevin gave her look. 'Does it make a difference?'
'I guess not, really,' said Rose. Then she squinted comically down at her nose and said, 'So, how worried are you that it'll get the Gaspar nose?'
'It doesn't matter what nose it has,' said Kevin, 'and you know it. Anyway,' he added, also squinting downwards, 'it's not so bad, is it?'
Rose shrugged and said, 'No, but if I had the choice, I'd rather have my mom's nose.'
'Yeah, so would I, I guess. My mom's, I mean.'
'Naturaca. Does this half-sister person have her mom's nose? That'd be so funny, if your baby had Oscar's stepmother's nose.'
'I, um... I never really noticed. I've only seen her a couple of times.'
'Anyway, you're letting me tell my branch of the family?' said Rose. 'Can I go do it right now?'
'I don't know,' said Kevin. 'I've actually only told my mom so far. She's probably told my dad by now; he's been home all afternoon. I wonder if she's told James yet – he might not know.'
'I hope not,' said Rose. 'If he knows, he'll have told Chita, and I want to tell her.'
'Jimmy wouldn't do that,' said Kevin. 'He knows that's the kind of thing you let other people tell.'
'Yeah, I guess,' said Rose. 'It's just... well, I do get sort of jealous of those two, you know.'
Kevin gave her a smile, half humorous and half sympathetic, and said, 'Why, because they got our moms' noses and we didn't?'
'No,' said Rose, with a little laugh, 'because they're just so damn close! If I'm that close with anyone, it's my sister, but she also has him, and okay I do have a wonderful best friend but he lives all the way in Florida, and... well, you know,' she finished with a shrug.
'I understand why you feel that way,' said Kevin. 'You do know Chita's crazy about you, right?'
'Yes,' said Rose, 'I do, and I don't want to feel jealous – I just can't help it! Like, at lunch today, I found her printing some stuff about gender and sexual orientation, and I thought about how I feel like there's too many labels now and there's no need to categorise people like that. But Chita and James don't think that at all – either of them. They see eye-to-eye on everything!'
'I can see what you mean,' said Kevin. 'Y'know, it's important to see the world in your own way. I actually agree with you about labels and stuff, Rosy, and I admire how you're one of the few members of the young generation I know who's not growing up with an inbuilt label-maker.'
Rose smiled. 'An inbuilt label-maker?'
'That's right. James has grown up hearing me and Oscar talked about as gay, homosexual, a same-sex couple...'
'Everyone says those things but you, don't they? Listen, don't let them give your kid an inbuilt label-maker, will you? I'll help if you want.'
'Thanks, Rosy,' said Kevin. 'Of course I'll want your help, if it's on offer. Y'know, with Jimmy and Chita being so close, I sort of think of you as my special cousin.'
At this, Rose's already happy face split into a full-on grin. Moments later, it disappeared as she doubled over as if in pain and began to spew white light from her nose and mouth. Kevin strode over to her, clearly alarmed, while Merida spat and yowled from her position underneath the desk.
Conchita caught up with Carl on the stairs and began rootling around in her school bag, saying, 'I got that information you wanted, Uncle Carl.'
'Did I actually want it?' Carl asked sceptically.
'That I offered to get for you, then. Anyway, you need it, don't you?'
'I don't know... maybe.'
'This explains everything,' Conchita went on, handing over the sheaf of papers. 'Homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, greysexual, transgender, cisgender, non-binary, gender fluid –'
'Gender fluid? Honey, I... I don't think I want to know any more about that than I already do.'
'Oh, Uncle Carl. You really need to read that stuff. It'll explain everything.'
'Really?'
'Well,' said Conchita, 'probably not. But perhaps it'll help you to feel better.'
'Oh, I feel all right,' Carl said with a sigh. 'I think I'm pretty much used to everything now.'
'So... you're not going to check on Jim and Isabel?'
'Guess I'm not, am I, kid?'
Conchita smiled, then turned and made her way downstairs and towards the kitchen. She had only got as far as the telephone table in the hallway, however, when Josh appeared in front of her and blocked her path. Carl, who had been making his way up the stairs, caught sight of this and set himself up to spy on them over the banister.
'Hey, Josh,' said Conchita. 'Still here?'
'I don't want to leave,' Josh said, with a toothy smile. 'You're here.'
'Oh, I see,' said Conchita. 'So what are you expecting from me?'
'Nothing. I just like to look at you.'
'Oh. Well, I'll be honest: I like to look at you too. But is that all there is to it?'
'Of course not,' said Josh, reaching out to touch her cheek, but she shrank back from him. At the top of the stairs, Carl got ready to pounce.
'Don't say that unless you mean it,' said Conchita.
'I do mean it.'
'You can't. You don't really know me, and I don't really know you.'
'No, I guess not,' said Josh, withdrawing his hand. 'If a guy wanted to get anywhere with you, he'd just have to be really honest, wouldn't he?'
'I guess so,' Conchita said non-committally.
'All right,' said Josh. 'I think you're really nice, and I'd like to get to know you better. How's that?'
Conchita gave a small shrug of acceptance.
'Can I take you out, then?'
'All right, I'll go out with you,' said Conchita. 'When?'
'How about tomorrow night?'
She smiled. 'Yeah, okay. Where?'
'How about I surprise you?'
'I don't like surprises.'
'You... don't?'
'I want to know where we're going,' said Conchita.
'Um, okay,' said Josh. 'Maybe, um... we could have dinner at that Italian place on the corner of Platt Street and Gold Street?'
'Okay,' said Conchita.
'Can I pick you up at seven?'
'Sure.'
'Do you mind if I pay?'
'No.'
'Okay, so... that's a date, then.'
'Right.'
He grinned all over his face. 'Cool.'
'Okay!' Freya's voice cut across them as she appeared on the scene. 'You about done here, Josh?'
'Yes, Freya,' said Josh, still grinning stupidly at Conchita. Freya put her hands on his shoulders and steered him towards the front door, Conchita stepping aside to clear their path.
When Josh and Freya got out onto the street, they were arrested by Kevin's voice calling frantically from above them, 'Freya! Josh! Quick, catch it, catch it!'
Freya grabbed the ghost trap she was carrying at the same time as looking around for the voice. She saw that Kevin was leaning a long way out of his kitchen window, while floating rapidly away from him was a large mass of white light. Josh grabbed his proton gun and caught the entity in a powerful stream. Freya threw down the trap and opened it. Within moments, the demon was gone.
'Did I actually want it?' Carl asked sceptically.
'That I offered to get for you, then. Anyway, you need it, don't you?'
'I don't know... maybe.'
'This explains everything,' Conchita went on, handing over the sheaf of papers. 'Homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, greysexual, transgender, cisgender, non-binary, gender fluid –'
'Gender fluid? Honey, I... I don't think I want to know any more about that than I already do.'
'Oh, Uncle Carl. You really need to read that stuff. It'll explain everything.'
'Really?'
'Well,' said Conchita, 'probably not. But perhaps it'll help you to feel better.'
'Oh, I feel all right,' Carl said with a sigh. 'I think I'm pretty much used to everything now.'
'So... you're not going to check on Jim and Isabel?'
'Guess I'm not, am I, kid?'
Conchita smiled, then turned and made her way downstairs and towards the kitchen. She had only got as far as the telephone table in the hallway, however, when Josh appeared in front of her and blocked her path. Carl, who had been making his way up the stairs, caught sight of this and set himself up to spy on them over the banister.
'Hey, Josh,' said Conchita. 'Still here?'
'I don't want to leave,' Josh said, with a toothy smile. 'You're here.'
'Oh, I see,' said Conchita. 'So what are you expecting from me?'
'Nothing. I just like to look at you.'
'Oh. Well, I'll be honest: I like to look at you too. But is that all there is to it?'
'Of course not,' said Josh, reaching out to touch her cheek, but she shrank back from him. At the top of the stairs, Carl got ready to pounce.
'Don't say that unless you mean it,' said Conchita.
'I do mean it.'
'You can't. You don't really know me, and I don't really know you.'
'No, I guess not,' said Josh, withdrawing his hand. 'If a guy wanted to get anywhere with you, he'd just have to be really honest, wouldn't he?'
'I guess so,' Conchita said non-committally.
'All right,' said Josh. 'I think you're really nice, and I'd like to get to know you better. How's that?'
Conchita gave a small shrug of acceptance.
'Can I take you out, then?'
'All right, I'll go out with you,' said Conchita. 'When?'
'How about tomorrow night?'
She smiled. 'Yeah, okay. Where?'
'How about I surprise you?'
'I don't like surprises.'
'You... don't?'
'I want to know where we're going,' said Conchita.
'Um, okay,' said Josh. 'Maybe, um... we could have dinner at that Italian place on the corner of Platt Street and Gold Street?'
'Okay,' said Conchita.
'Can I pick you up at seven?'
'Sure.'
'Do you mind if I pay?'
'No.'
'Okay, so... that's a date, then.'
'Right.'
He grinned all over his face. 'Cool.'
'Okay!' Freya's voice cut across them as she appeared on the scene. 'You about done here, Josh?'
'Yes, Freya,' said Josh, still grinning stupidly at Conchita. Freya put her hands on his shoulders and steered him towards the front door, Conchita stepping aside to clear their path.
When Josh and Freya got out onto the street, they were arrested by Kevin's voice calling frantically from above them, 'Freya! Josh! Quick, catch it, catch it!'
Freya grabbed the ghost trap she was carrying at the same time as looking around for the voice. She saw that Kevin was leaning a long way out of his kitchen window, while floating rapidly away from him was a large mass of white light. Josh grabbed his proton gun and caught the entity in a powerful stream. Freya threw down the trap and opened it. Within moments, the demon was gone.
Late the next afternoon, Kylie was handing a cheque to a door and window repairer while Eduardo stood on the landing testing the stability of Rose's new bedroom door. He then went downstairs and met Kylie at the bottom.
'It better be okay, because I just paid the guy,' said Kylie.
'Seems fine,' said Eduardo, 'but I'm not a door expert. I guess we can cancel the cheque if it falls off in the night or something.'
'True,' said Kylie, making her way to the living room. Then she stopped in the doorway and a sappy smile crept across her face. 'Just look at our girls, Eduardo. Don't they look sweet?'
Eduardo went to stand behind her and looked over her head at the scene. Conchita was sitting in an armchair, her long legs hitched up for a stand on which to rest her reading materials, looking with her own sappy expression at Rose reunited with Merida. They were on the sofa, Merida purring ecstatically on Rose's lap and enjoying being fondled all over.
'Your new door's all ready for you, florita,' said Eduardo.
'I don't think I'll use it tonight,' said Rose, 'in case Merida wants to sleep with me.'
'That was worth it, then,' said Kylie. Then she noticed what her other daughter was reading, and said, 'Chita, is that a college brochure? I think it's a little late for that.'
'No, Mom, it's a little early,' said Conchita. 'See, I never really thought about what I was going to do with my psych degree after I got it. I have to admit, I wanted to go to college with Jim, so now I'm going to the one that has his master's programme. Doesn't have mine, though, as it turns out.'
'I hope you're not regretting your decision,' said Kylie.
'Not at all,' said Conchita. 'Going to St John's won't stop me doing my master's at Columbia.'
'She's dying for one of us to ask what this master's actually is,' said Rose, as she stroked Merida's throat and chest. 'Don't ask her, you guys.'
'What master's is that, sweetie?' asked Kylie, exchanging a playful look with Rose.
'Clinical psychology,' said Conchita. 'Beth said a few days ago that she thought I'd make a good trauma counsellor, and now I've realised I really like the idea.'
'Oh sweetie, that's perfect for you,' said Kylie.
'Yeah, it is,' said Eduardo. 'Maybe you'd like to work for me.'
'For you?' said Conchita. 'How?'
'You know the list of useful numbers we have in reception?' said Eduardo. 'Well, the trauma counsellor gets called a lot, and I've sometimes wondered if we should be hiring one of our own. And maybe by the time you qualify, Egon will've gone and left me alone with the budget.'
'I should think so,' said Rose. 'That's five years away. You might change your mind by then, Chita. You're such a soft-centred soul, you'll probably realise you can't handle other people's pain.'
'Oh, Rose!' Kylie said admonishingly. 'I think she can. I know she can.'
'We'll see,' Conchita said airily. 'I've got four years of undergraduate study first, anyway; anything could happen. I might even change my major – who knows? Right now, though...' She lowered her legs and gathered her books and papers into her arms in one smooth motion. 'I have to start getting ready for my date.'
'It better be okay, because I just paid the guy,' said Kylie.
'Seems fine,' said Eduardo, 'but I'm not a door expert. I guess we can cancel the cheque if it falls off in the night or something.'
'True,' said Kylie, making her way to the living room. Then she stopped in the doorway and a sappy smile crept across her face. 'Just look at our girls, Eduardo. Don't they look sweet?'
Eduardo went to stand behind her and looked over her head at the scene. Conchita was sitting in an armchair, her long legs hitched up for a stand on which to rest her reading materials, looking with her own sappy expression at Rose reunited with Merida. They were on the sofa, Merida purring ecstatically on Rose's lap and enjoying being fondled all over.
'Your new door's all ready for you, florita,' said Eduardo.
'I don't think I'll use it tonight,' said Rose, 'in case Merida wants to sleep with me.'
'That was worth it, then,' said Kylie. Then she noticed what her other daughter was reading, and said, 'Chita, is that a college brochure? I think it's a little late for that.'
'No, Mom, it's a little early,' said Conchita. 'See, I never really thought about what I was going to do with my psych degree after I got it. I have to admit, I wanted to go to college with Jim, so now I'm going to the one that has his master's programme. Doesn't have mine, though, as it turns out.'
'I hope you're not regretting your decision,' said Kylie.
'Not at all,' said Conchita. 'Going to St John's won't stop me doing my master's at Columbia.'
'She's dying for one of us to ask what this master's actually is,' said Rose, as she stroked Merida's throat and chest. 'Don't ask her, you guys.'
'What master's is that, sweetie?' asked Kylie, exchanging a playful look with Rose.
'Clinical psychology,' said Conchita. 'Beth said a few days ago that she thought I'd make a good trauma counsellor, and now I've realised I really like the idea.'
'Oh sweetie, that's perfect for you,' said Kylie.
'Yeah, it is,' said Eduardo. 'Maybe you'd like to work for me.'
'For you?' said Conchita. 'How?'
'You know the list of useful numbers we have in reception?' said Eduardo. 'Well, the trauma counsellor gets called a lot, and I've sometimes wondered if we should be hiring one of our own. And maybe by the time you qualify, Egon will've gone and left me alone with the budget.'
'I should think so,' said Rose. 'That's five years away. You might change your mind by then, Chita. You're such a soft-centred soul, you'll probably realise you can't handle other people's pain.'
'Oh, Rose!' Kylie said admonishingly. 'I think she can. I know she can.'
'We'll see,' Conchita said airily. 'I've got four years of undergraduate study first, anyway; anything could happen. I might even change my major – who knows? Right now, though...' She lowered her legs and gathered her books and papers into her arms in one smooth motion. 'I have to start getting ready for my date.'
While Conchita was getting ready to go out, James and Isabel were just coming in. They crashed through James's front door with their arms around each other, giggling and each clutching a helium balloon bearing their name. Upon hearing them, Carl appeared in the hallway and gaped at them. Isabel began to look uncomfortable, but James smiled and said, 'Hi, Dad.'
'Hi, son,' said Carl. 'Did you have fun at the, um...?' He stared at the helium balloons as though they were alien spacecraft.
'We've been at the mall, Dad,' said James. 'We had a blast.'
'Oh,' said Carl, playing with his shirt collar. 'That's good.'
'Are you okay?' asked James. 'Why are you being weird? Again!'
'No, it's nothing,' said Carl. 'I'm just... it's hot in here, isn't it?'
'Is something wrong, Mr Rivera?' Isabel asked tentatively.
'Nothing's wrong, Isabel,' said Carl. 'Everything's perfectly... perfectly normal.'
'No it's not,' James said suspiciously. 'Dad, what's going on?'
'Nothing,' said Carl.
'Something's going on!' James persisted.
'Not really,' said Carl, looking uncomfortably at his son. 'If you really want to know, I just didn't happen to realise that Isabel was, um... well, that she was, er...'
'Someone told you, huh?' said Isabel.
'Told him what?' said James. 'What the hell is this?'
'It's not a big deal, Jem,' said Isabel, looking pained. 'Your dad just didn't know I was trans, that's all.'
'What?' said James, laughing at the absurdity of such an idea. 'Of course he knew!'
'No, Jamie, I didn't,' said Carl. 'That doesn't mean I have a problem with it, of course – it's just that I didn't find out until yesterday. But...' He looked appealingly at Isabel. 'That's the way you want it, right? For people to not notice?'
'I don't really care whether people notice or not,' said Isabel. 'It's just about me feeling comfortable with myself.'
'Hold on a minute,' said James, his voice beginning to harden. 'How could you not know, Dad?'
'It doesn't matter, Jem,' said Isabel.
'Of course it matters, Iz,' said James. 'Dad, you've known Isabel for years! You knew her before she started transitioning!'
Carl stared at him. 'I... I... what?'
Isabel let out a deep sigh and said to Carl, 'Sir, do you remember Billy Maynard?'
'Billy Maynard?' said Carl, unable to see the relevance of this. 'Yes, of course I remember him. He was one of James's elementary school friends.'
'It was me,' said Isabel.
Carl stared blankly at her. 'What was you?'
'I mean he was me,' Isabel said patiently. 'I used to be Billy but now I'm Isabel.'
'Wait... what?' said Carl, his eyes boggling. 'You were him? That was you? But... but... you used to like Beyblade: Metal Fusion!'
'Yeah, well,' said Isabel, 'so did Chita. So did everyone.'
'But why... but what... but how...?'
'I don't understand!' cried James, attracting the attention of both Carl and Isabel, who saw that tears were now brimming in his eyes. 'Dad, why are you saying such terrible things?'
'They're not terrible, son,' said Carl. 'They're just, well...'
'Ignorant!' said James. 'Bigoted! Insensitive! I don't recognise you, Dad! Where is all of this coming from? I thought you liked Isabel!'
'I do!' Carl said desperately, taking a tentative step towards his son. 'I think Isabel's great! I... I hope you get married someday, and somebody grows a baby for you using a donor egg and your sperm, Jamie. Or... or Isabel's, I guess, if she decides to hang onto it.' He looked at Isabel. 'You might do that, right? Because Chita said –'
'What?' said James. 'Chita said?'
'Jamie,' said Carl, taking another step forward and putting a hand on James's shoulder. 'I...'
'Don't touch me!' cried James. Then he suddenly turned and fled through the front door, letting go of his balloon, which floated all the way up the stairs and onwards to the ceiling. Carl reached out for James, and would have caught him roughly by the arm if he hadn't stopped himself. James slammed the door behind him, and Carl stood staring at it, mortified.
'So,' said Isabel, still clutching her balloon. 'This isn't awkward!'
'Hi, son,' said Carl. 'Did you have fun at the, um...?' He stared at the helium balloons as though they were alien spacecraft.
'We've been at the mall, Dad,' said James. 'We had a blast.'
'Oh,' said Carl, playing with his shirt collar. 'That's good.'
'Are you okay?' asked James. 'Why are you being weird? Again!'
'No, it's nothing,' said Carl. 'I'm just... it's hot in here, isn't it?'
'Is something wrong, Mr Rivera?' Isabel asked tentatively.
'Nothing's wrong, Isabel,' said Carl. 'Everything's perfectly... perfectly normal.'
'No it's not,' James said suspiciously. 'Dad, what's going on?'
'Nothing,' said Carl.
'Something's going on!' James persisted.
'Not really,' said Carl, looking uncomfortably at his son. 'If you really want to know, I just didn't happen to realise that Isabel was, um... well, that she was, er...'
'Someone told you, huh?' said Isabel.
'Told him what?' said James. 'What the hell is this?'
'It's not a big deal, Jem,' said Isabel, looking pained. 'Your dad just didn't know I was trans, that's all.'
'What?' said James, laughing at the absurdity of such an idea. 'Of course he knew!'
'No, Jamie, I didn't,' said Carl. 'That doesn't mean I have a problem with it, of course – it's just that I didn't find out until yesterday. But...' He looked appealingly at Isabel. 'That's the way you want it, right? For people to not notice?'
'I don't really care whether people notice or not,' said Isabel. 'It's just about me feeling comfortable with myself.'
'Hold on a minute,' said James, his voice beginning to harden. 'How could you not know, Dad?'
'It doesn't matter, Jem,' said Isabel.
'Of course it matters, Iz,' said James. 'Dad, you've known Isabel for years! You knew her before she started transitioning!'
Carl stared at him. 'I... I... what?'
Isabel let out a deep sigh and said to Carl, 'Sir, do you remember Billy Maynard?'
'Billy Maynard?' said Carl, unable to see the relevance of this. 'Yes, of course I remember him. He was one of James's elementary school friends.'
'It was me,' said Isabel.
Carl stared blankly at her. 'What was you?'
'I mean he was me,' Isabel said patiently. 'I used to be Billy but now I'm Isabel.'
'Wait... what?' said Carl, his eyes boggling. 'You were him? That was you? But... but... you used to like Beyblade: Metal Fusion!'
'Yeah, well,' said Isabel, 'so did Chita. So did everyone.'
'But why... but what... but how...?'
'I don't understand!' cried James, attracting the attention of both Carl and Isabel, who saw that tears were now brimming in his eyes. 'Dad, why are you saying such terrible things?'
'They're not terrible, son,' said Carl. 'They're just, well...'
'Ignorant!' said James. 'Bigoted! Insensitive! I don't recognise you, Dad! Where is all of this coming from? I thought you liked Isabel!'
'I do!' Carl said desperately, taking a tentative step towards his son. 'I think Isabel's great! I... I hope you get married someday, and somebody grows a baby for you using a donor egg and your sperm, Jamie. Or... or Isabel's, I guess, if she decides to hang onto it.' He looked at Isabel. 'You might do that, right? Because Chita said –'
'What?' said James. 'Chita said?'
'Jamie,' said Carl, taking another step forward and putting a hand on James's shoulder. 'I...'
'Don't touch me!' cried James. Then he suddenly turned and fled through the front door, letting go of his balloon, which floated all the way up the stairs and onwards to the ceiling. Carl reached out for James, and would have caught him roughly by the arm if he hadn't stopped himself. James slammed the door behind him, and Carl stood staring at it, mortified.
'So,' said Isabel, still clutching her balloon. 'This isn't awkward!'
The doorbell rang and Conchita descended the stairs wearing a short, sleeveless dress. Eduardo caught sight of her through the kitchen doorway, came into the hallway with a spatula in his hand and said, 'He's not taking you on his motorcycle, is he?'
'I don't know,' said Conchita. 'Does he have a motorcycle?'
'Yes,' said Eduardo, 'and if you get on it like that...'
She giggled. 'You mean if I fall off it like this.'
'Exactly. I want you to take care of yourself, seashell.'
'Well, let's see, shall we?' She bounced over to the door and pulled it open. Then her face fell ever so slightly. 'Oh, hi, it's you. Oh, but... oh my gosh, Jim, what's wrong?'
'You already know, don't you?' said James, in injured tones. 'You know the truth about my dad, and you didn't tell me!'
Eduardo made his way hurriedly to the front door, still clutching his spatula, and said sternly, 'Don't take it out on her, James.'
'Do you know as well?' James demanded.
'I think I can guess,' Eduardo said cautiously. 'Come on in and tell me all about it if you want.'
'Oh, there's Josh,' said Conchita, awkwardly swapping positions on either side of the door with James. 'He's in a car, Dad.'
'Freya's car,' Eduardo noted. 'That was nice of her. Have fun, querida. Come on in, Jim.' He shut the door behind his nephew and ushered him into the living room, where Kylie was watching TV.
'I'll take over dinner,' she said, taking in the situation at a glance. She turned off the TV, stood up and took the spatula from Eduardo. 'Shall I make some extra for Jim?'
'I couldn't eat a thing,' James sniffled.
'I'll make some just in case,' said Kylie as she sidled out of the room.
'Okay,' said Eduardo, chivvying James over to the sofa and sitting down with him. 'What happened?'
'Dad didn't know Isabel was Billy. He didn't even know she was trans! How could he not know?'
Eduardo sighed. 'I don't know, but he didn't. What exactly did he say? It wasn't too terrible, was it?' he added hopefully.
'It was disgusting!' said James. 'He said he was fine about it, but he obviously wasn't. And then he started trying to cover up by saying all these ignorant, bigoted things!'
'Oh,' said Eduardo. 'Well, Jim, being ignorant doesn't have to mean being a bigot – it just means not knowing any better. Your dad comes from a world that existed before you were born. Some people were transgender... although I seem to remember there were different words for it back then... but they would've had a hard time getting dates. There wasn't any such thing as pansexual even when I was a kid, never mind your dad. I mean, it was hard enough for him to come to terms with Kevin being gay.'
James gave him a puzzled look. 'What're you talking about? Kev's always been gay.'
'Well, maybe, but there was a time when nobody knew about it. Not even Kevin.'
'Okay, but... but why the hell would Dad have a problem coming to terms with it?'
'Huh,' said Eduardo. 'Maybe that wasn't the best thing for me to say.'
'Oh my God, my dad's a homophobe!' said James, beginning to cry again.
'No,' Eduardo said firmly. 'Not any...' He stopped himself.
'Not anymore?' said James. 'Is that what you were going to say?'
'I guess it was, yeah. Look, Jim...'
'You're just as bad as the rest of them! My dad's not the guy I thought he was, and you've all been keeping it from me! Even Chita! Even my own brother!'
'Cut that out,' said Eduardo, frowning slightly. 'Jim, let me ask you something. Is this the first time your dad's disappointed you? I mean, really disappointed you?'
'You know it is,' said James.
'That's because he loves you,' said Eduardo, 'and he's become a better person since you were born.'
'No!' said James. 'It's because he's been deceiving me for all these years!'
He got to his feet as he said this, the tears flowing freely, and stood over Eduardo with his mouth poised to pour out more of his grievances. Eduardo frowned, looking ready to meet the oncoming assault, but his steely expression melted into one of horror when he suddenly saw tendrils of white light appearing behind James and snaking their way over the back of his head.
'I hate you!' James roared, the light now shining from his eyes. 'I hate you all!'
Having said this, he suddenly turned and ran for the front door. Eduardo pursued him but when he looked out onto the street, James was already out of sight.
'Aw man,' he said, turning round to see Kylie in the hallway holding various kitchen utensils, and Rose standing halfway up the stairs looking anxious. 'Did I screw that up or what?'
'I don't know,' said Conchita. 'Does he have a motorcycle?'
'Yes,' said Eduardo, 'and if you get on it like that...'
She giggled. 'You mean if I fall off it like this.'
'Exactly. I want you to take care of yourself, seashell.'
'Well, let's see, shall we?' She bounced over to the door and pulled it open. Then her face fell ever so slightly. 'Oh, hi, it's you. Oh, but... oh my gosh, Jim, what's wrong?'
'You already know, don't you?' said James, in injured tones. 'You know the truth about my dad, and you didn't tell me!'
Eduardo made his way hurriedly to the front door, still clutching his spatula, and said sternly, 'Don't take it out on her, James.'
'Do you know as well?' James demanded.
'I think I can guess,' Eduardo said cautiously. 'Come on in and tell me all about it if you want.'
'Oh, there's Josh,' said Conchita, awkwardly swapping positions on either side of the door with James. 'He's in a car, Dad.'
'Freya's car,' Eduardo noted. 'That was nice of her. Have fun, querida. Come on in, Jim.' He shut the door behind his nephew and ushered him into the living room, where Kylie was watching TV.
'I'll take over dinner,' she said, taking in the situation at a glance. She turned off the TV, stood up and took the spatula from Eduardo. 'Shall I make some extra for Jim?'
'I couldn't eat a thing,' James sniffled.
'I'll make some just in case,' said Kylie as she sidled out of the room.
'Okay,' said Eduardo, chivvying James over to the sofa and sitting down with him. 'What happened?'
'Dad didn't know Isabel was Billy. He didn't even know she was trans! How could he not know?'
Eduardo sighed. 'I don't know, but he didn't. What exactly did he say? It wasn't too terrible, was it?' he added hopefully.
'It was disgusting!' said James. 'He said he was fine about it, but he obviously wasn't. And then he started trying to cover up by saying all these ignorant, bigoted things!'
'Oh,' said Eduardo. 'Well, Jim, being ignorant doesn't have to mean being a bigot – it just means not knowing any better. Your dad comes from a world that existed before you were born. Some people were transgender... although I seem to remember there were different words for it back then... but they would've had a hard time getting dates. There wasn't any such thing as pansexual even when I was a kid, never mind your dad. I mean, it was hard enough for him to come to terms with Kevin being gay.'
James gave him a puzzled look. 'What're you talking about? Kev's always been gay.'
'Well, maybe, but there was a time when nobody knew about it. Not even Kevin.'
'Okay, but... but why the hell would Dad have a problem coming to terms with it?'
'Huh,' said Eduardo. 'Maybe that wasn't the best thing for me to say.'
'Oh my God, my dad's a homophobe!' said James, beginning to cry again.
'No,' Eduardo said firmly. 'Not any...' He stopped himself.
'Not anymore?' said James. 'Is that what you were going to say?'
'I guess it was, yeah. Look, Jim...'
'You're just as bad as the rest of them! My dad's not the guy I thought he was, and you've all been keeping it from me! Even Chita! Even my own brother!'
'Cut that out,' said Eduardo, frowning slightly. 'Jim, let me ask you something. Is this the first time your dad's disappointed you? I mean, really disappointed you?'
'You know it is,' said James.
'That's because he loves you,' said Eduardo, 'and he's become a better person since you were born.'
'No!' said James. 'It's because he's been deceiving me for all these years!'
He got to his feet as he said this, the tears flowing freely, and stood over Eduardo with his mouth poised to pour out more of his grievances. Eduardo frowned, looking ready to meet the oncoming assault, but his steely expression melted into one of horror when he suddenly saw tendrils of white light appearing behind James and snaking their way over the back of his head.
'I hate you!' James roared, the light now shining from his eyes. 'I hate you all!'
Having said this, he suddenly turned and ran for the front door. Eduardo pursued him but when he looked out onto the street, James was already out of sight.
'Aw man,' he said, turning round to see Kylie in the hallway holding various kitchen utensils, and Rose standing halfway up the stairs looking anxious. 'Did I screw that up or what?'
Carl was sitting at the breakfast bar drinking tea, with Isabel sitting across from him.
'Feeling better?' she asked.
'A little,' said Carl. 'Less tense, anyway. You, um... didn't have to make tea for me, you know.'
'Oh, don't be silly,' said Isabel.
'I can see it now,' Carl went on. 'Your eyes... the freckles... being scared of Jamie's mice... I remember when he showed you his first pair, and you screamed like a g–' He stopped abruptly.
'Making a little more sense to you now, is it?' asked Isabel, with a small smile of amusement.
'I don't know,' said Carl. 'But it doesn't have to make sense to me. It only has to make sense to you.'
'Now you're getting it.'
'Why are you being so much more reasonable about this than James was?'
'Oh, all kinds of reasons. Because you're not my dad. Because I've had worse from other people... people who aren't the slightest bit personally involved like you are.'
'Really?' Carl said in surprise. 'I... I'm really sorry to hear that, Billy. Isabel. Aw crap, sorry.'
'It's okay,' said Isabel. 'You'll soon get used to it.'
'I guess everybody thought I already did, huh?'
'Everybody thought wrong, then, didn't they?'
'Thanks for being so understanding, Isabel,' said Carl. 'You're a really nice... person.'
'I know you didn't mean to upset anybody,' said Isabel.
'But I did upset someone, though, didn't I? What am I going to do about my boy? He's never going to forgive me!'
The phone started ringing. Carl gave the cordless extension a momentary glance of annoyance, then it stopped ringing as, evidently, Beth answered it elsewhere in the house.
'I'll talk to James,' said Isabel. 'I mean, we both should, but maybe I should go first.'
'Thanks,' said Carl. 'That'd be great.'
At this point they ran out of conversation, so Carl began to look awkward. Isabel then looked awkward too. The atmosphere was broken, however, when Beth came running into the kitchen and said in frantic tones, 'Carl, something terrible has happened!'
'Feeling better?' she asked.
'A little,' said Carl. 'Less tense, anyway. You, um... didn't have to make tea for me, you know.'
'Oh, don't be silly,' said Isabel.
'I can see it now,' Carl went on. 'Your eyes... the freckles... being scared of Jamie's mice... I remember when he showed you his first pair, and you screamed like a g–' He stopped abruptly.
'Making a little more sense to you now, is it?' asked Isabel, with a small smile of amusement.
'I don't know,' said Carl. 'But it doesn't have to make sense to me. It only has to make sense to you.'
'Now you're getting it.'
'Why are you being so much more reasonable about this than James was?'
'Oh, all kinds of reasons. Because you're not my dad. Because I've had worse from other people... people who aren't the slightest bit personally involved like you are.'
'Really?' Carl said in surprise. 'I... I'm really sorry to hear that, Billy. Isabel. Aw crap, sorry.'
'It's okay,' said Isabel. 'You'll soon get used to it.'
'I guess everybody thought I already did, huh?'
'Everybody thought wrong, then, didn't they?'
'Thanks for being so understanding, Isabel,' said Carl. 'You're a really nice... person.'
'I know you didn't mean to upset anybody,' said Isabel.
'But I did upset someone, though, didn't I? What am I going to do about my boy? He's never going to forgive me!'
The phone started ringing. Carl gave the cordless extension a momentary glance of annoyance, then it stopped ringing as, evidently, Beth answered it elsewhere in the house.
'I'll talk to James,' said Isabel. 'I mean, we both should, but maybe I should go first.'
'Thanks,' said Carl. 'That'd be great.'
At this point they ran out of conversation, so Carl began to look awkward. Isabel then looked awkward too. The atmosphere was broken, however, when Beth came running into the kitchen and said in frantic tones, 'Carl, something terrible has happened!'
'So,' said Josh, who was eating clams at a nicely-dressed table, 'you don't even eat shellfish?'
'Of course not,' said Conchita, who was sitting opposite him and eating stuffed mushrooms. 'They're animals too.'
'Yeah, but they're shellfish. Oh no, wait – now you think I'm a jerk. Damn it!'
Conchita smiled at him across the table. 'Don't worry – that wasn't a deal-breaker.'
'Oh, good. Because I don't want to screw this up. I really like you, you know.'
'You do, huh? Why is that?'
'Because you're beautiful, and smart, and fun, and... and... what's that look for?'
The look was one of enormous disappointment, which changed to one of resignation as Conchita said, 'That's what everybody says about everybody, Josh. You only have to have the TV on for an hour or two, and you're almost sure to hear some character in some show say it about someone they're supposed to like... or maybe just watch Aladdin. The good one, not the remake. Anyway, it doesn't mean anything.'
'Okay, maybe,' said Josh, 'but there's more I can say about you. I like you because you're incredibly kind and selfless, even to shellfish. You're usually cheerful, and if you're not, it's because you're worried about somebody that you love. You like to be in control of where you're going and what you're doing, and you express yourself exactly how you want because you haven't fallen into the trap of thinking that liking pink and being feminine makes you weak or air-headed or something. Quite the opposite, in fact,' he added with a smile. 'So... how was that?'
'I... don't know,' said Conchita, looking rather dazed. 'Is all of that true?'
'Of course it is. It's all stuff I've noticed about you. I could hardly not notice, because you're so open and honest about who you are... more than most people.'
'More than you?' asked Conchita. 'I hope you're being open and honest right now, Josh. I don't want to rush into anything without really knowing you.'
'Are we rushing?' Josh asked in a low voice, leaning across the table towards her.
'Well... we could be,' said Conchita, leaning over as well. They had come in fairly close when Josh's cell phone interrupted them. Conchita leaned back at once and said, 'You'd better answer that.'
'Not necessarily,' said Josh, looking peeved as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the phone. When he looked at the caller display, his eyes widened and he actually threw the cell phone into the air, exclaiming, 'Jeez, it's your dad!'
Conchita laughed, caught the phone deftly and answered it with, 'Hi, Dad. Que pasa?'
'Hola, querida,' said Eduardo. 'Va todo bien?'
'Si, esta bien.'
'Then I'm really sorry to interrupt, but...'
'Of course not,' said Conchita, who was sitting opposite him and eating stuffed mushrooms. 'They're animals too.'
'Yeah, but they're shellfish. Oh no, wait – now you think I'm a jerk. Damn it!'
Conchita smiled at him across the table. 'Don't worry – that wasn't a deal-breaker.'
'Oh, good. Because I don't want to screw this up. I really like you, you know.'
'You do, huh? Why is that?'
'Because you're beautiful, and smart, and fun, and... and... what's that look for?'
The look was one of enormous disappointment, which changed to one of resignation as Conchita said, 'That's what everybody says about everybody, Josh. You only have to have the TV on for an hour or two, and you're almost sure to hear some character in some show say it about someone they're supposed to like... or maybe just watch Aladdin. The good one, not the remake. Anyway, it doesn't mean anything.'
'Okay, maybe,' said Josh, 'but there's more I can say about you. I like you because you're incredibly kind and selfless, even to shellfish. You're usually cheerful, and if you're not, it's because you're worried about somebody that you love. You like to be in control of where you're going and what you're doing, and you express yourself exactly how you want because you haven't fallen into the trap of thinking that liking pink and being feminine makes you weak or air-headed or something. Quite the opposite, in fact,' he added with a smile. 'So... how was that?'
'I... don't know,' said Conchita, looking rather dazed. 'Is all of that true?'
'Of course it is. It's all stuff I've noticed about you. I could hardly not notice, because you're so open and honest about who you are... more than most people.'
'More than you?' asked Conchita. 'I hope you're being open and honest right now, Josh. I don't want to rush into anything without really knowing you.'
'Are we rushing?' Josh asked in a low voice, leaning across the table towards her.
'Well... we could be,' said Conchita, leaning over as well. They had come in fairly close when Josh's cell phone interrupted them. Conchita leaned back at once and said, 'You'd better answer that.'
'Not necessarily,' said Josh, looking peeved as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the phone. When he looked at the caller display, his eyes widened and he actually threw the cell phone into the air, exclaiming, 'Jeez, it's your dad!'
Conchita laughed, caught the phone deftly and answered it with, 'Hi, Dad. Que pasa?'
'Hola, querida,' said Eduardo. 'Va todo bien?'
'Si, esta bien.'
'Then I'm really sorry to interrupt, but...'
Meanwhile Carl, Isabel and Kevin had made their way to Eduardo and Kylie's house. Kevin and Isabel were talking to Kylie in the doorway, while Carl was standing on the street looming over Eduardo as he put his cell phone away.
'How could this happen?' Carl demanded. 'Those kids you had working on this said all those things were gone!'
'I guess we missed one,' said Eduardo. 'I'm sorry, Carl.'
Carl looked about to say more, but he turned at the sound of Beth's car screeching into the street. It skidded to a halt; Beth leapt out of the vehicle and ran up to Carl and Eduardo, crying, 'Carl! I've called the whole neighbourhood – nobody's seen him!'
Carl turned back to Eduardo, poised to unleash all manner of verbal abuse on him, when another car pulled up nearby and Josh, Freya and Conchita got out. Carl stared at the two Ghostbusters for a moment, then marched over to them, yelling, 'This is all your fault! You said the house was clean!'
'Carlos!' said Eduardo, stepping between Carl and the two mortified young Ghosbutsters. 'Your house is clean! It happened here.'
'What difference do you think that makes?' barked Carl. 'It still happened on their watch!'
'It happened on my watch,' said Eduardo. 'It's my fault, okay?'
Carl took a step back and eyed him warily for a few moments, then asked more calmly, 'Why was he here, anyway? He doesn't normally go to you with this stuff.'
'Yeah, I know,' said Eduardo. 'He normally goes to Kevin... but I guess he didn't feel like he could with this one.'
'I really let him down, didn't I?' Carl said quietly.
Eduardo sighed and said, 'That's how he feels, yeah.'
'So... it's actually my fault,' said Carl.
'Look,' said Eduardo, 'let's just call it an unfortunate set of circumstances, shall we?'
'Sounds like a good plan,' Conchita cut in. 'It'd at least mean we can get on with finding him, right?'
'You're so right, querida,' said Eduardo, giving her a pat on the shoulder. Then he turned to Josh and Freya. 'PKE meters out, you two – we have to get on with this. And it's not your fault, okay?'
Josh and Freya nodded stoutly and then began looking for James's PKE trail. Eduardo went off with them, while Carl's attention was arrested by Conchita's bare limbs. She saw him looking, gave him an endearing smile and said, 'What's up, Uncle Carl?'
'What the hell is that?' he demanded.
'A dress.'
'It looks like underwear.'
'Carl,' said Eduardo, rushing back to the scene and stepping between them, 'we're gonna have to go after him in Freya's car. Do you want to follow us in Beth's?'
'Well, obviously I do!' said Carl, and he went stomping off. 'Kevin! Isabel! New plan! You and me and Beth are going to get in the car, and those two Ghostbusters and Eduardo are going to get in the car, and Conchita's going to get in the car, and we'll all get in the car.'
'Whoa,' said Freya, looking up from her PKE meter. 'He's lost it.'
'You are coming with us, aren't you, Chita?' asked Eduardo, as Kevin and Isabel said a hasty farewell to Kylie and ran to Beth's car. 'You could be useful if James needs getting through to.'
'Of course, Daddy,' said Conchita.
The seating arrangements in Freya's car were naturally occurring: Freya drove, Eduardo sat in the front with his PKE meter, and Conchita and Josh were only too pleased to sit in the back together. Freya followed her nose for a while, then glanced over at Eduardo and said, 'You will tell me if I need to change direction, won't you?'
'What?' said Eduardo, looking up. 'Oh... yeah.'
Freya glanced at him again, and gave him a bracing smile. 'You okay, boss?'
Eduardo hesitated for a moment, then said, 'I feel like I really screwed up. I'm not used to James talking to me about his problems, but Kevin always used to... problems like this one, even... and I always seemed to know the right things to say to him. It's just... never been quite the same with James.'
'We all know that, Daddy,' said Conchita. 'You and Kevin are so close in age, and most of the rest of us weren't around back then. Now Jim has other men in his life he's closer to and you have other kids in your life you're closer to, but you love him in a different way, and that's okay.'
'You're right as usual, seashell,' said Eduardo, 'but none of that means I had to totally screw this up. The truth is, I wasn't as understanding this time. I seem to have more sympathy with Carl over Isabel than I used to have with him over Oscar, and that has to be wrong, doesn't it?'
'Oh, that's okay,' said Conchita. 'You sympathise with Uncle Carl because he tried, didn't he? That's why you feel like he's not totally in the wrong. I told him about Isabel, and he wanted to be fine with it, even if he had some trouble processing it. I thought he'd be okay, though. What went wrong exactly?'
'You didn't tell him Isabel used to be Billy, querida, did you?' said Eduardo.
'Oh... no, I didn't,' said Conchita, looking troubled. 'All my instincts were telling me to sit on that for a while. I wish I hadn't listened now.'
'Take a left, Freya,' said Eduardo. 'And Chita, don't worry; you've done better than anyone with your uncle.'
They ended up underneath the Brooklyn Bridge among traffic cones and the framework of some flatbed trucks. Eduardo, Josh and Freya tracked James's PKE signal until they found themselves looking at a strong white glow emanating from underneath one of the trucks.
'Well,' said Freya, 'who needs a PKE meter, huh?'
'Should we just start blasting?' asked Josh, as Eduardo dropped back to stay near his family.
'I don't know.' Freya crouched down and peered underneath the truck. 'Y'know, it doesn't look like that thing's very firmly attached. It's just, like, clinging onto his hair. Somebody could maybe just brush it off.'
'What's going on?' asked Kevin, coming up behind them. 'Does he need a rousing speech to make him lose the demon? Because that kind of thing worked for Rose.'
'Freya was just saying it looks like someone could brush it off,' said Josh.
'Yeah, I was,' said Freya. 'This one's only a baby; I don't think we should have too much trouble with it.'
'Then get rid of it, quick!' Beth said shrilly behind her.
'Hold on there, Aunty Beth,' Conchita said soothingly. 'Somebody probably should still talk to him. If you're feeling the way he does, you don't want someone going up to you and swatting things off your head. Someone needs to get underneath the truck with him to show they're supportive.'
'Well,' said Isabel, 'you'd be good at that, Chita.'
'So would you,' said Conchita. 'So would Beth. So would Kevin. Normally I'd say so would Carl, but if Jim isn't crazy about him right now...'
'The truth is,' said Josh, 'everybody out here loves that kid... except maybe me and Freya. So the question is, who's the best one to reach out to him right here, right now?'
Conchita was evidently very impressed by this speech, and she gave Josh a winning smile.
'Kevin should do it,' Carl said quietly.
'All right, I will,' said Kevin, 'if I'm really the best choice.'
'Of course you are,' said Carl. 'He'd choose you anyway – you know that – and besides, you know exactly how he's feeling right now. You know what it's like to be let down by your dad... by me... because I'm stubborn and narrow-minded and unfair.'
'I'd save that for Jimmy after he's fixed, Dad,' said Kevin, as he descended onto all fours. 'Okay, let's see if I can get under here...'
As Kevin manoeuvred his considerable bulk underneath the truck bed, Beth danced around flapping her fingers and Carl looked on with a seemingly impassive expression. Isabel watched as well for a moment, then grabbed Conchita's arm, pulled her to one side and said, 'Wow, Chita, you look great, really great – what a babe. So how's your date going?'
'Well...' Conchita began, and they put their heads together and started whispering and giggling.
Freya turned to Josh and asked, 'How do you think the date's going?'
'Not so great right now,' said Josh. 'Before this it was going all right, I think.' He looked at Isabel and Conchita. 'I wonder what they're saying about me.'
'No point wondering that,' said Freya. 'They seem very happy to be giggling away together, don't they? I guess they're pretty confident that we can fix James between us.'
'Kevin'll do great,' Eduardo cut in. 'Sorry, I wasn't eavesdropping – I just happened to hear that last part.'
'Kevin will do great, will he?' Freya said jovially. 'What about us?'
Eduardo gave them an encouraging but half-hearted smile and said, 'You'll do great too.'
'What's with you, Eduardo?' asked Freya. 'You're not still worried you messed with James's head in the first place, are you?'
'Oh, I don't know,' said Eduardo. 'I just can't help remembering how hard I was on Carl when he was so afraid of Kevin being gay. I didn't want to say this in front of Chita, because she seems to think a lot of me for some reason, but... well, I'm older than you guys, and pansexual is new to me so I could kind of understand Carl being weird about it, and he's older than me, so... so maybe that means he had some excuse with Kevin.'
'Well, hold on a minute,' said Josh. 'You said he was “afraid” of Kevin being gay, but only “weird” about James. And it's true what Chita said, right? He's really trying this time around?'
'Yeah, that's true,' said Eduardo.
'Well,' said Josh, 'what if he'd only been “weird” about Kevin, rather than “afraid”? Would you have been more understanding of him then?'
'I don't know,' said Eduardo. 'I was so much younger then. This mostly all happened before you guys were even born. Maybe I was just one of those kids who can't imagine a world without them in it.'
'I don't think so, Eduardo,' said Freya. 'If your brother had really tried all along with Kevin, like he is with James, you'd have been much more okay with it. See, I can imagine a world without me in it!'
'Yeah,' said Eduardo, with a wry smile, 'one that didn't actually exist. Kevin and I both had our problems with Carl back then. I just hope James isn't heading the same way.'
Meanwhile, James and Kevin had been having quite a conversation of their own under the truck. Kevin began it with, 'Hey there, Jimmy.'
'Oh, it's you,' James replied flatly, engulfed in the light of the entity on his head.
'Yeah, it's me,' said Kevin. 'I wish you'd come out. We're all really worried about you, dude.'
'I'm okay under here, thanks,' said James.
'I can't agree with you there,' said Kevin.
There was a long pause. Then James said, 'Dad's out there, isn't he? And Uncle Eduardo. I'm disappointed in him too, y'know. You always told me how great he was to talk to about stuff.'
'He is,' said Kevin. 'I'll bet he didn't say anything that bad.'
'I wish I'd gone to you, Kev, like I normally do,' said James. 'But I thought you wouldn't want to hear about Dad's disgusting attitude. And then Uncle Eduardo said... he said...'
'What did he say?' Kevin asked gently.
'He said Dad was a homophobe!'
'Is that exactly what he said?'
'No-o,' James admitted, 'but he said Dad found it hard to come to terms with you being gay.'
'Well, that's true. But it was a long time ago, Jimmy.'
'Was he really bad to you, Kev?'
'Bad?' said Kevin. 'No, I wouldn't say that. He did used to say some stuff, and I sometimes used to feel it... I sometimes still feel it... and it has affected our relationship. But I've always known for certain he was trying his best to be a good dad to me.'
'It doesn't matter what his intention was,' said James. 'It only matters how you felt.'
'Dad feels bad about it now too. He's learned from his mistakes, Jimmy, and you have to remember that he grew up in a very different environment to us. To either of us.'
'It wasn't the Dark Ages, though, was it?'
'No,' said Kevin, 'but the late Eighteenth Century wasn't the Dark Ages either, and that's when they were introducing sodomy laws in this country. Back then, sodomy was punishable by castration.'
'What?' cried James. 'Oh my God – that's horrible! How could anyone do that?'
It was at this point that Kevin, looking at the demon clinging to James's head, said, 'Look, let's get rid of this thing first, shall we?' So saying, he tentatively raised his hand and gave the demon a short, sharp flick. It detached itself at once and flew out from underneath the truck.
Quick as a flash, Freya opened the trap she had in her hands and directed the entrapment beam at the entity. It was sucked inside, and she was forced to take a step back into one of the truck beds.
Kevin let out an enormous sigh of relief, then went on, 'You know what else wasn't the Dark Ages, Jimmy? The mid-twenty-tens – that's your lifetime! Back then there were some states that still hadn't officially repealed their sodomy laws, even if they didn't enforce them. And right now... I don't even know what crap exists in some states now!'
'Why just sodomy laws?' asked James. 'What about lesbians?'
'Women weren't even considered when those laws were made,' said Kevin. 'The world was run by men, for men.'
'But that's terrible!'
'Of course it is. That's why things change – because people start to notice that they're terrible.'
'So what're you saying – that makes it okay for Dad to be transphobic?'
'I'm saying that change for the better doesn't happen overnight. Jimmy, would it surprise you to learn that I, too, was a little bit shocked when I heard Billy was going to transition into a girl?'
James looked horrified. 'Yes, actually, that surprises me a lot!'
'I'm sorry,' said Kevin. 'It's just that when I was the age you guys were then, kids didn't do that. Maybe they wanted to, but it wasn't done, and that must've been hard on them, which is why the world is better now for Isabel and for you and for everyone, really. And twenty years ago, it was better for me and Oscar than it would've been when Dad was a kid. Do you see what I'm saying?'
'Well... yeah, I guess so.'
'And Dad hasn't really been as bad as that, has he? He hasn't tried to change you, or stop you from seeing Isabel? He's really done his best to understand, hasn't he? This is the first time you feel he's really let you down. That's right, isn't it? And it's because he's been a really great dad to you, with no major mistakes, for almost eighteen years. So can't you get past just this one? Which he feels really bad about, by the way.'
'That's pretty much what Uncle Eduardo said,' said James.
'Uncle Eduardo talks a lot of sense,' said Kevin. 'What he said to you made a lot of sense, right?'
'Yeah, I guess so. But you said it better, Kev. Y'know, you're gonna make a really great dad.'
'Thanks, bro, that means a lot. Now, shall we get out from under this truck?'
James smiled and said, 'Yeah, okay.'
As soon as James had crawled out from his hiding place, Beth rushed over to him and embraced him and kissed his face all over, while Carl hung about looking uncertain. When his mother had released him, James sought out Conchita and gave her a hug. They exchanged a few words, then he hugged Isabel.
Kevin saw that there was some hullabaloo going on between Eduardo, Josh and Freya, so he went up to them and asked, 'Is something wrong?'
'Nothing you have to worry about, Kev,' said Eduardo, who was stuffing his cell phone into his pocket. 'I just got a call from John – he said Sarah's turned herself into a giant slug or something.'
'She has?' said Kevin. 'Wow, I hope somebody can fix that. Oh my God – it wasn't that serum Rosy wanted, was it?'
'I don't know,' said Eduardo. 'I'll have to go to the firehouse and check it out.' He turned to Josh and Freya. 'You guys go home, or do whatever it is you wanted to do tonight. Josh, you probably want to finish your date with Chita, don't you?'
'I don't know if we should,' said Josh. 'I wouldn't want to take her away from Isabel – she doesn't have anybody else now that your nephew's gone with his family.'
Eduardo looked and saw that Kevin, Beth, Carl and James were all climbing into their car together, leaving Conchita hanging back with Isabel.
'Let's offer Isabel a ride home, Josh,' said Freya. 'Then you and Chita can take my car again if you want to.'
'Thanks, Freya,' Josh smiled gratefully, and they approached Conchita and Isabel together.
This left Eduardo standing by himself. He took out his cell phone again and called Kylie.
'I'm going to be a little late,' he told her. 'Or maybe a lot late – I don't know. We've dealt with Jim, but now something's happening at the firehouse that I should look into.'
'You've dealt with him, huh?' said Kylie. 'Does that mean everything's fixed between him and Carl?'
Beth's car was now pulling away. Eduardo looked at it and noticed that James and Carl were sitting in the back together, already immersed in conversation.
'Probably things won't be exactly the same between them now,' said Eduardo. 'But that's what happens when you grow up, right?'
'Inevitably,' said Kylie. 'Don't worry, sweetie. They'll be okay.'
'How could this happen?' Carl demanded. 'Those kids you had working on this said all those things were gone!'
'I guess we missed one,' said Eduardo. 'I'm sorry, Carl.'
Carl looked about to say more, but he turned at the sound of Beth's car screeching into the street. It skidded to a halt; Beth leapt out of the vehicle and ran up to Carl and Eduardo, crying, 'Carl! I've called the whole neighbourhood – nobody's seen him!'
Carl turned back to Eduardo, poised to unleash all manner of verbal abuse on him, when another car pulled up nearby and Josh, Freya and Conchita got out. Carl stared at the two Ghostbusters for a moment, then marched over to them, yelling, 'This is all your fault! You said the house was clean!'
'Carlos!' said Eduardo, stepping between Carl and the two mortified young Ghosbutsters. 'Your house is clean! It happened here.'
'What difference do you think that makes?' barked Carl. 'It still happened on their watch!'
'It happened on my watch,' said Eduardo. 'It's my fault, okay?'
Carl took a step back and eyed him warily for a few moments, then asked more calmly, 'Why was he here, anyway? He doesn't normally go to you with this stuff.'
'Yeah, I know,' said Eduardo. 'He normally goes to Kevin... but I guess he didn't feel like he could with this one.'
'I really let him down, didn't I?' Carl said quietly.
Eduardo sighed and said, 'That's how he feels, yeah.'
'So... it's actually my fault,' said Carl.
'Look,' said Eduardo, 'let's just call it an unfortunate set of circumstances, shall we?'
'Sounds like a good plan,' Conchita cut in. 'It'd at least mean we can get on with finding him, right?'
'You're so right, querida,' said Eduardo, giving her a pat on the shoulder. Then he turned to Josh and Freya. 'PKE meters out, you two – we have to get on with this. And it's not your fault, okay?'
Josh and Freya nodded stoutly and then began looking for James's PKE trail. Eduardo went off with them, while Carl's attention was arrested by Conchita's bare limbs. She saw him looking, gave him an endearing smile and said, 'What's up, Uncle Carl?'
'What the hell is that?' he demanded.
'A dress.'
'It looks like underwear.'
'Carl,' said Eduardo, rushing back to the scene and stepping between them, 'we're gonna have to go after him in Freya's car. Do you want to follow us in Beth's?'
'Well, obviously I do!' said Carl, and he went stomping off. 'Kevin! Isabel! New plan! You and me and Beth are going to get in the car, and those two Ghostbusters and Eduardo are going to get in the car, and Conchita's going to get in the car, and we'll all get in the car.'
'Whoa,' said Freya, looking up from her PKE meter. 'He's lost it.'
'You are coming with us, aren't you, Chita?' asked Eduardo, as Kevin and Isabel said a hasty farewell to Kylie and ran to Beth's car. 'You could be useful if James needs getting through to.'
'Of course, Daddy,' said Conchita.
The seating arrangements in Freya's car were naturally occurring: Freya drove, Eduardo sat in the front with his PKE meter, and Conchita and Josh were only too pleased to sit in the back together. Freya followed her nose for a while, then glanced over at Eduardo and said, 'You will tell me if I need to change direction, won't you?'
'What?' said Eduardo, looking up. 'Oh... yeah.'
Freya glanced at him again, and gave him a bracing smile. 'You okay, boss?'
Eduardo hesitated for a moment, then said, 'I feel like I really screwed up. I'm not used to James talking to me about his problems, but Kevin always used to... problems like this one, even... and I always seemed to know the right things to say to him. It's just... never been quite the same with James.'
'We all know that, Daddy,' said Conchita. 'You and Kevin are so close in age, and most of the rest of us weren't around back then. Now Jim has other men in his life he's closer to and you have other kids in your life you're closer to, but you love him in a different way, and that's okay.'
'You're right as usual, seashell,' said Eduardo, 'but none of that means I had to totally screw this up. The truth is, I wasn't as understanding this time. I seem to have more sympathy with Carl over Isabel than I used to have with him over Oscar, and that has to be wrong, doesn't it?'
'Oh, that's okay,' said Conchita. 'You sympathise with Uncle Carl because he tried, didn't he? That's why you feel like he's not totally in the wrong. I told him about Isabel, and he wanted to be fine with it, even if he had some trouble processing it. I thought he'd be okay, though. What went wrong exactly?'
'You didn't tell him Isabel used to be Billy, querida, did you?' said Eduardo.
'Oh... no, I didn't,' said Conchita, looking troubled. 'All my instincts were telling me to sit on that for a while. I wish I hadn't listened now.'
'Take a left, Freya,' said Eduardo. 'And Chita, don't worry; you've done better than anyone with your uncle.'
They ended up underneath the Brooklyn Bridge among traffic cones and the framework of some flatbed trucks. Eduardo, Josh and Freya tracked James's PKE signal until they found themselves looking at a strong white glow emanating from underneath one of the trucks.
'Well,' said Freya, 'who needs a PKE meter, huh?'
'Should we just start blasting?' asked Josh, as Eduardo dropped back to stay near his family.
'I don't know.' Freya crouched down and peered underneath the truck. 'Y'know, it doesn't look like that thing's very firmly attached. It's just, like, clinging onto his hair. Somebody could maybe just brush it off.'
'What's going on?' asked Kevin, coming up behind them. 'Does he need a rousing speech to make him lose the demon? Because that kind of thing worked for Rose.'
'Freya was just saying it looks like someone could brush it off,' said Josh.
'Yeah, I was,' said Freya. 'This one's only a baby; I don't think we should have too much trouble with it.'
'Then get rid of it, quick!' Beth said shrilly behind her.
'Hold on there, Aunty Beth,' Conchita said soothingly. 'Somebody probably should still talk to him. If you're feeling the way he does, you don't want someone going up to you and swatting things off your head. Someone needs to get underneath the truck with him to show they're supportive.'
'Well,' said Isabel, 'you'd be good at that, Chita.'
'So would you,' said Conchita. 'So would Beth. So would Kevin. Normally I'd say so would Carl, but if Jim isn't crazy about him right now...'
'The truth is,' said Josh, 'everybody out here loves that kid... except maybe me and Freya. So the question is, who's the best one to reach out to him right here, right now?'
Conchita was evidently very impressed by this speech, and she gave Josh a winning smile.
'Kevin should do it,' Carl said quietly.
'All right, I will,' said Kevin, 'if I'm really the best choice.'
'Of course you are,' said Carl. 'He'd choose you anyway – you know that – and besides, you know exactly how he's feeling right now. You know what it's like to be let down by your dad... by me... because I'm stubborn and narrow-minded and unfair.'
'I'd save that for Jimmy after he's fixed, Dad,' said Kevin, as he descended onto all fours. 'Okay, let's see if I can get under here...'
As Kevin manoeuvred his considerable bulk underneath the truck bed, Beth danced around flapping her fingers and Carl looked on with a seemingly impassive expression. Isabel watched as well for a moment, then grabbed Conchita's arm, pulled her to one side and said, 'Wow, Chita, you look great, really great – what a babe. So how's your date going?'
'Well...' Conchita began, and they put their heads together and started whispering and giggling.
Freya turned to Josh and asked, 'How do you think the date's going?'
'Not so great right now,' said Josh. 'Before this it was going all right, I think.' He looked at Isabel and Conchita. 'I wonder what they're saying about me.'
'No point wondering that,' said Freya. 'They seem very happy to be giggling away together, don't they? I guess they're pretty confident that we can fix James between us.'
'Kevin'll do great,' Eduardo cut in. 'Sorry, I wasn't eavesdropping – I just happened to hear that last part.'
'Kevin will do great, will he?' Freya said jovially. 'What about us?'
Eduardo gave them an encouraging but half-hearted smile and said, 'You'll do great too.'
'What's with you, Eduardo?' asked Freya. 'You're not still worried you messed with James's head in the first place, are you?'
'Oh, I don't know,' said Eduardo. 'I just can't help remembering how hard I was on Carl when he was so afraid of Kevin being gay. I didn't want to say this in front of Chita, because she seems to think a lot of me for some reason, but... well, I'm older than you guys, and pansexual is new to me so I could kind of understand Carl being weird about it, and he's older than me, so... so maybe that means he had some excuse with Kevin.'
'Well, hold on a minute,' said Josh. 'You said he was “afraid” of Kevin being gay, but only “weird” about James. And it's true what Chita said, right? He's really trying this time around?'
'Yeah, that's true,' said Eduardo.
'Well,' said Josh, 'what if he'd only been “weird” about Kevin, rather than “afraid”? Would you have been more understanding of him then?'
'I don't know,' said Eduardo. 'I was so much younger then. This mostly all happened before you guys were even born. Maybe I was just one of those kids who can't imagine a world without them in it.'
'I don't think so, Eduardo,' said Freya. 'If your brother had really tried all along with Kevin, like he is with James, you'd have been much more okay with it. See, I can imagine a world without me in it!'
'Yeah,' said Eduardo, with a wry smile, 'one that didn't actually exist. Kevin and I both had our problems with Carl back then. I just hope James isn't heading the same way.'
Meanwhile, James and Kevin had been having quite a conversation of their own under the truck. Kevin began it with, 'Hey there, Jimmy.'
'Oh, it's you,' James replied flatly, engulfed in the light of the entity on his head.
'Yeah, it's me,' said Kevin. 'I wish you'd come out. We're all really worried about you, dude.'
'I'm okay under here, thanks,' said James.
'I can't agree with you there,' said Kevin.
There was a long pause. Then James said, 'Dad's out there, isn't he? And Uncle Eduardo. I'm disappointed in him too, y'know. You always told me how great he was to talk to about stuff.'
'He is,' said Kevin. 'I'll bet he didn't say anything that bad.'
'I wish I'd gone to you, Kev, like I normally do,' said James. 'But I thought you wouldn't want to hear about Dad's disgusting attitude. And then Uncle Eduardo said... he said...'
'What did he say?' Kevin asked gently.
'He said Dad was a homophobe!'
'Is that exactly what he said?'
'No-o,' James admitted, 'but he said Dad found it hard to come to terms with you being gay.'
'Well, that's true. But it was a long time ago, Jimmy.'
'Was he really bad to you, Kev?'
'Bad?' said Kevin. 'No, I wouldn't say that. He did used to say some stuff, and I sometimes used to feel it... I sometimes still feel it... and it has affected our relationship. But I've always known for certain he was trying his best to be a good dad to me.'
'It doesn't matter what his intention was,' said James. 'It only matters how you felt.'
'Dad feels bad about it now too. He's learned from his mistakes, Jimmy, and you have to remember that he grew up in a very different environment to us. To either of us.'
'It wasn't the Dark Ages, though, was it?'
'No,' said Kevin, 'but the late Eighteenth Century wasn't the Dark Ages either, and that's when they were introducing sodomy laws in this country. Back then, sodomy was punishable by castration.'
'What?' cried James. 'Oh my God – that's horrible! How could anyone do that?'
It was at this point that Kevin, looking at the demon clinging to James's head, said, 'Look, let's get rid of this thing first, shall we?' So saying, he tentatively raised his hand and gave the demon a short, sharp flick. It detached itself at once and flew out from underneath the truck.
Quick as a flash, Freya opened the trap she had in her hands and directed the entrapment beam at the entity. It was sucked inside, and she was forced to take a step back into one of the truck beds.
Kevin let out an enormous sigh of relief, then went on, 'You know what else wasn't the Dark Ages, Jimmy? The mid-twenty-tens – that's your lifetime! Back then there were some states that still hadn't officially repealed their sodomy laws, even if they didn't enforce them. And right now... I don't even know what crap exists in some states now!'
'Why just sodomy laws?' asked James. 'What about lesbians?'
'Women weren't even considered when those laws were made,' said Kevin. 'The world was run by men, for men.'
'But that's terrible!'
'Of course it is. That's why things change – because people start to notice that they're terrible.'
'So what're you saying – that makes it okay for Dad to be transphobic?'
'I'm saying that change for the better doesn't happen overnight. Jimmy, would it surprise you to learn that I, too, was a little bit shocked when I heard Billy was going to transition into a girl?'
James looked horrified. 'Yes, actually, that surprises me a lot!'
'I'm sorry,' said Kevin. 'It's just that when I was the age you guys were then, kids didn't do that. Maybe they wanted to, but it wasn't done, and that must've been hard on them, which is why the world is better now for Isabel and for you and for everyone, really. And twenty years ago, it was better for me and Oscar than it would've been when Dad was a kid. Do you see what I'm saying?'
'Well... yeah, I guess so.'
'And Dad hasn't really been as bad as that, has he? He hasn't tried to change you, or stop you from seeing Isabel? He's really done his best to understand, hasn't he? This is the first time you feel he's really let you down. That's right, isn't it? And it's because he's been a really great dad to you, with no major mistakes, for almost eighteen years. So can't you get past just this one? Which he feels really bad about, by the way.'
'That's pretty much what Uncle Eduardo said,' said James.
'Uncle Eduardo talks a lot of sense,' said Kevin. 'What he said to you made a lot of sense, right?'
'Yeah, I guess so. But you said it better, Kev. Y'know, you're gonna make a really great dad.'
'Thanks, bro, that means a lot. Now, shall we get out from under this truck?'
James smiled and said, 'Yeah, okay.'
As soon as James had crawled out from his hiding place, Beth rushed over to him and embraced him and kissed his face all over, while Carl hung about looking uncertain. When his mother had released him, James sought out Conchita and gave her a hug. They exchanged a few words, then he hugged Isabel.
Kevin saw that there was some hullabaloo going on between Eduardo, Josh and Freya, so he went up to them and asked, 'Is something wrong?'
'Nothing you have to worry about, Kev,' said Eduardo, who was stuffing his cell phone into his pocket. 'I just got a call from John – he said Sarah's turned herself into a giant slug or something.'
'She has?' said Kevin. 'Wow, I hope somebody can fix that. Oh my God – it wasn't that serum Rosy wanted, was it?'
'I don't know,' said Eduardo. 'I'll have to go to the firehouse and check it out.' He turned to Josh and Freya. 'You guys go home, or do whatever it is you wanted to do tonight. Josh, you probably want to finish your date with Chita, don't you?'
'I don't know if we should,' said Josh. 'I wouldn't want to take her away from Isabel – she doesn't have anybody else now that your nephew's gone with his family.'
Eduardo looked and saw that Kevin, Beth, Carl and James were all climbing into their car together, leaving Conchita hanging back with Isabel.
'Let's offer Isabel a ride home, Josh,' said Freya. 'Then you and Chita can take my car again if you want to.'
'Thanks, Freya,' Josh smiled gratefully, and they approached Conchita and Isabel together.
This left Eduardo standing by himself. He took out his cell phone again and called Kylie.
'I'm going to be a little late,' he told her. 'Or maybe a lot late – I don't know. We've dealt with Jim, but now something's happening at the firehouse that I should look into.'
'You've dealt with him, huh?' said Kylie. 'Does that mean everything's fixed between him and Carl?'
Beth's car was now pulling away. Eduardo looked at it and noticed that James and Carl were sitting in the back together, already immersed in conversation.
'Probably things won't be exactly the same between them now,' said Eduardo. 'But that's what happens when you grow up, right?'
'Inevitably,' said Kylie. 'Don't worry, sweetie. They'll be okay.'
