Christmas Special: Being Kevin, Part 2
Written by Jake Collins
Jandro, Lucy, Michael and Ella were hanging around outside the movie theatre, each taking occasional glances at their watches.
'They're late,' said Michael.
'They're gonna make us miss the start of the movie!' Ella added.
'We've still got time,' said Jandro.
'But all the best seats will get taken,' said Ella.
'Yeah,' said Michael, 'the back row will totally fill up.'
'You guys go inside if you want to,' said Lucy. 'We're gonna wait here for Kevin and Oscar, aren't we, Jandro?'
'Yes, Lucy,' said Jandro.
Michael nodded, took Ella by the arm and led her inside.
'See you guys soon!' Ella called over her shoulder. 'We'll try to save you some seats.'
'I kinda hope they don't manage to do that,' Jandro said to Lucy. 'I don't like sitting in the back row with all the loved-up couples.'
'Me either,' said Lucy. 'It's silly to kiss through the whole thing – the whole point of going to the movie theatre is because you want to watch the movie!'
'Yeah,' Jandro laughed. 'So, er... how much longer do we give Kevin and Oscar?'
'We can afford another five minutes,' said Lucy. 'They'll be here.'
'I wonder what they're doing,' said Jandro.
'You're assuming they're already together while you're wondering that, right?'
'Yeah, I am. They usually seem to be together nowadays... except in class, obviously.'
'Are you attaching any significance to that observation?' Lucy asked.
'Well... yeah, maybe I am,' said Jandro. 'Luce, do you ever find yourself thinking that maybe Kevin and Oscar have a thing between them?'
'What kind of a thing?' Lucy said provocatively.
'You know what kind of a thing,' Jandro grinned, 'so it's no use pretending you don't!'
'Yeah, I guess not,' Lucy grinned back at him. 'And yeah, I think they have a thing, but I'm not sure exactly what it's gonna turn into.'
'Me either,' said Jandro. 'It sure will be interesting to find out. You know, Luce, I used to think you had a thing for Kev.'
'I do, but it's not that kind of a thing! Surely you of all people know that, Jandro.'
'Yeah, I do now. But when we all met, years ago in the seventh grade, that's what I thought for the first few weeks.'
'Yeah, well I sometimes wonder if you have a thing for Kev yourself!' said Lucy.
'I've always been a great admirer of his physique,' Jandro admitted. 'But I admire other physiques just as much, Luce, and I wouldn't want you to think that I don't!'
Lucy laughed; Jandro smiled self-consciously.
'Kev's physique is the thing I find least exciting about him, personally,' said Lucy. 'Not everyone's turned on by the hunk look.'
'Oh yeah?'
'Yeah. I like small boys – they make me feel strong!'
Jandro laughed and said, 'Don't you usually feel strong, then?'
'Not as much as I really want,' said Lucy, smiling wistfully, 'especially when my family's getting on my back.'
'I know the feeling,' said Jandro.
A few seconds of silence followed. Lucy glanced at her watch again.
'Luce, do you think it's okay to feel that way about someone if you already have a close friendship with them?' said Jandro. 'I mean, if you like someone like that and you're already friends and then one day you tell them how you feel, it might make things awkward and spoil your friendship.'
'Are you talking about Kevin and Oscar again?' said Lucy.
'Yes,' said Jandro, 'I'm talking about Kevin and Oscar... and, you know, anyone else who might be in that situation... hypothetically, I mean.'
'I don't think it's too much of a problem,' said Lucy. 'I mean, if there's always been something else there as well as just friendship, I think both the friends in question would probably know it and feel it, at least on some level. I think if you feel that way about a friend, you should just go for it and see what happens. If you're close enough friends then you can work through the awkwardness and survive it, even if one of you doesn't really feel that way... but then, if you both feel the same, who knows how things could turn out?'
'They could turn out pretty good, couldn't they?' said Jandro. 'I mean, the two friends in question could end up being a couple, and they'd probably love each other forever and be really happy together, wouldn't they?'
'Yeah, probably,' said Lucy. 'There can't be any harm in asking, anyway. If you don't try, you'll never know.'
Jandro nodded and opened his mouth to say something else, but he was interrupted as Kevin slung one arm around his shoulder and the other around Lucy's. Their eye contact broken, Jandro and Lucy saw that Oscar was now on the scene as well.
'Sorry we're late, guys,' Kevin grinned at his friends. 'Thanks for waiting.'
'No problem, Kev,' said Lucy. 'Come on – we'll have to hurry if we're gonna catch the start.'
'They're late,' said Michael.
'They're gonna make us miss the start of the movie!' Ella added.
'We've still got time,' said Jandro.
'But all the best seats will get taken,' said Ella.
'Yeah,' said Michael, 'the back row will totally fill up.'
'You guys go inside if you want to,' said Lucy. 'We're gonna wait here for Kevin and Oscar, aren't we, Jandro?'
'Yes, Lucy,' said Jandro.
Michael nodded, took Ella by the arm and led her inside.
'See you guys soon!' Ella called over her shoulder. 'We'll try to save you some seats.'
'I kinda hope they don't manage to do that,' Jandro said to Lucy. 'I don't like sitting in the back row with all the loved-up couples.'
'Me either,' said Lucy. 'It's silly to kiss through the whole thing – the whole point of going to the movie theatre is because you want to watch the movie!'
'Yeah,' Jandro laughed. 'So, er... how much longer do we give Kevin and Oscar?'
'We can afford another five minutes,' said Lucy. 'They'll be here.'
'I wonder what they're doing,' said Jandro.
'You're assuming they're already together while you're wondering that, right?'
'Yeah, I am. They usually seem to be together nowadays... except in class, obviously.'
'Are you attaching any significance to that observation?' Lucy asked.
'Well... yeah, maybe I am,' said Jandro. 'Luce, do you ever find yourself thinking that maybe Kevin and Oscar have a thing between them?'
'What kind of a thing?' Lucy said provocatively.
'You know what kind of a thing,' Jandro grinned, 'so it's no use pretending you don't!'
'Yeah, I guess not,' Lucy grinned back at him. 'And yeah, I think they have a thing, but I'm not sure exactly what it's gonna turn into.'
'Me either,' said Jandro. 'It sure will be interesting to find out. You know, Luce, I used to think you had a thing for Kev.'
'I do, but it's not that kind of a thing! Surely you of all people know that, Jandro.'
'Yeah, I do now. But when we all met, years ago in the seventh grade, that's what I thought for the first few weeks.'
'Yeah, well I sometimes wonder if you have a thing for Kev yourself!' said Lucy.
'I've always been a great admirer of his physique,' Jandro admitted. 'But I admire other physiques just as much, Luce, and I wouldn't want you to think that I don't!'
Lucy laughed; Jandro smiled self-consciously.
'Kev's physique is the thing I find least exciting about him, personally,' said Lucy. 'Not everyone's turned on by the hunk look.'
'Oh yeah?'
'Yeah. I like small boys – they make me feel strong!'
Jandro laughed and said, 'Don't you usually feel strong, then?'
'Not as much as I really want,' said Lucy, smiling wistfully, 'especially when my family's getting on my back.'
'I know the feeling,' said Jandro.
A few seconds of silence followed. Lucy glanced at her watch again.
'Luce, do you think it's okay to feel that way about someone if you already have a close friendship with them?' said Jandro. 'I mean, if you like someone like that and you're already friends and then one day you tell them how you feel, it might make things awkward and spoil your friendship.'
'Are you talking about Kevin and Oscar again?' said Lucy.
'Yes,' said Jandro, 'I'm talking about Kevin and Oscar... and, you know, anyone else who might be in that situation... hypothetically, I mean.'
'I don't think it's too much of a problem,' said Lucy. 'I mean, if there's always been something else there as well as just friendship, I think both the friends in question would probably know it and feel it, at least on some level. I think if you feel that way about a friend, you should just go for it and see what happens. If you're close enough friends then you can work through the awkwardness and survive it, even if one of you doesn't really feel that way... but then, if you both feel the same, who knows how things could turn out?'
'They could turn out pretty good, couldn't they?' said Jandro. 'I mean, the two friends in question could end up being a couple, and they'd probably love each other forever and be really happy together, wouldn't they?'
'Yeah, probably,' said Lucy. 'There can't be any harm in asking, anyway. If you don't try, you'll never know.'
Jandro nodded and opened his mouth to say something else, but he was interrupted as Kevin slung one arm around his shoulder and the other around Lucy's. Their eye contact broken, Jandro and Lucy saw that Oscar was now on the scene as well.
'Sorry we're late, guys,' Kevin grinned at his friends. 'Thanks for waiting.'
'No problem, Kev,' said Lucy. 'Come on – we'll have to hurry if we're gonna catch the start.'
Carl was flicking aimlessly through the TV channels when he heard the front door burst open and the sounds of strident laughter fill the hallway. Jandro, Lucy, Ella, Michael, Oscar and then Kevin appeared in Carl's field of vision, all of them clearly in high spirits and feeling somewhat hyperactive.
'Oh, hi Dad,' said Kevin, noticing the uncertain look that his gang was being subjected to. 'I hope you don't mind me bringing everyone back here. We're gonna play a few rounds of Twister and then order a pizza, okay?'
'Yes, that's... fine, son,' said Carl. 'Could I talk to you first, just for a couple of minutes?'
'Um... yeah, sure,' said Kevin. 'Go on up to the spare room, guys. Oscar knows where the Twister's kept.'
The staircase was immediately subjected to a severe stampede, and the sounds of youthful exuberance passed up to the next storey. Kevin came to sit beside his father.
'Why Twister?' said Carl.
'I don't know, really,' said Kevin. 'Michael suggested it, and everyone seemed to think it was a fantastic idea. I suppose you want to talk to me about Wesley, huh?'
'Yeah, I do,' said Carl. 'What did you find out?'
'I found out he's definitely not a drug dealer.'
'You did, huh? You didn't let him sweet-talk you, did you? You're not covering for him because the two of you are... seeing each other or something, are you?'
'Jesus Christ, Dad, no!'
'Your mom said you came back down to the house, then you took a hammer up there. What was that all about?'
'I threw the guy into some shelves, Dad,' said Kevin. 'I helped him fix them afterward.'
'You threw him into some shelves, huh?' said Carl, sounding rather impressed. 'I'm sure he did something to deserve it.'
'No, Dad, he didn't – that's why I helped him fix them,' said Kevin. 'Really, he's not a drug dealer.'
'Are you sure?' Carl pressed. 'I had an idea he might be growing marijuana plants in the bathroom, with one of those special lamps.'
'No, Dad, he doesn't have a weed plantation in the bathroom.'
'But he was smoking it with that other guy, right?'
'Yes, Dad,' Kevin sighed. 'They have arthritis. They use it medicinally, to ease the pain. They're not doing any harm.'
'Oh, I see,' said Carl. 'Well, I guess the truth could've been a lot worse than that. But it's still illegal.'
'Are you gonna arrest Wesley?'
'It's my duty to do it, son.'
'But you could turn a blind eye, couldn't you? Just this once? As a favour, to me. Please, Dad.'
'Oh, all right,' said Carl. 'But I'll be keeping a very close eye on our friend Wesley – the eye that isn't blind – and if there's even the sniff of any dealing going on in my house...'
'That's more than fair, Dad,' said Kevin, fixing his father with a smile. 'Thanks.'
'And I want you to tell him from me that he absolutely must do all his pot smoking inside the apartment from now on!' Carl added. 'Preferably with the curtains pulled.'
'Okay, Dad,' said Kevin, 'I'll tell him that. I'd better get back to my friends now. Do you want me to order you anything from the pizza place?'
'No, that's okay, son,' said Carl. 'Don't worry about me – you just go ahead and enjoy yourself.'
'Okay,' said Kevin, 'thanks.'
'Oh, hi Dad,' said Kevin, noticing the uncertain look that his gang was being subjected to. 'I hope you don't mind me bringing everyone back here. We're gonna play a few rounds of Twister and then order a pizza, okay?'
'Yes, that's... fine, son,' said Carl. 'Could I talk to you first, just for a couple of minutes?'
'Um... yeah, sure,' said Kevin. 'Go on up to the spare room, guys. Oscar knows where the Twister's kept.'
The staircase was immediately subjected to a severe stampede, and the sounds of youthful exuberance passed up to the next storey. Kevin came to sit beside his father.
'Why Twister?' said Carl.
'I don't know, really,' said Kevin. 'Michael suggested it, and everyone seemed to think it was a fantastic idea. I suppose you want to talk to me about Wesley, huh?'
'Yeah, I do,' said Carl. 'What did you find out?'
'I found out he's definitely not a drug dealer.'
'You did, huh? You didn't let him sweet-talk you, did you? You're not covering for him because the two of you are... seeing each other or something, are you?'
'Jesus Christ, Dad, no!'
'Your mom said you came back down to the house, then you took a hammer up there. What was that all about?'
'I threw the guy into some shelves, Dad,' said Kevin. 'I helped him fix them afterward.'
'You threw him into some shelves, huh?' said Carl, sounding rather impressed. 'I'm sure he did something to deserve it.'
'No, Dad, he didn't – that's why I helped him fix them,' said Kevin. 'Really, he's not a drug dealer.'
'Are you sure?' Carl pressed. 'I had an idea he might be growing marijuana plants in the bathroom, with one of those special lamps.'
'No, Dad, he doesn't have a weed plantation in the bathroom.'
'But he was smoking it with that other guy, right?'
'Yes, Dad,' Kevin sighed. 'They have arthritis. They use it medicinally, to ease the pain. They're not doing any harm.'
'Oh, I see,' said Carl. 'Well, I guess the truth could've been a lot worse than that. But it's still illegal.'
'Are you gonna arrest Wesley?'
'It's my duty to do it, son.'
'But you could turn a blind eye, couldn't you? Just this once? As a favour, to me. Please, Dad.'
'Oh, all right,' said Carl. 'But I'll be keeping a very close eye on our friend Wesley – the eye that isn't blind – and if there's even the sniff of any dealing going on in my house...'
'That's more than fair, Dad,' said Kevin, fixing his father with a smile. 'Thanks.'
'And I want you to tell him from me that he absolutely must do all his pot smoking inside the apartment from now on!' Carl added. 'Preferably with the curtains pulled.'
'Okay, Dad,' said Kevin, 'I'll tell him that. I'd better get back to my friends now. Do you want me to order you anything from the pizza place?'
'No, that's okay, son,' said Carl. 'Don't worry about me – you just go ahead and enjoy yourself.'
'Okay,' said Kevin, 'thanks.'
Kevin was on his way out of the school library when he saw Lucy sitting in an armchair in the careers section, her face buried in a university prospectus. He went to sit in the armchair next to her.
'University of Nottingham, huh?' he announced himself. 'Are you gonna apply?'
Lucy lowered the prospectus, and fixed Kevin with a warm and slightly wistful smile.
'I really want to,' she said, 'but I'm not sure I can.'
'It's in England, right?'
'Yeah, that's right. Plus you get to spend a whole year studying in Hong Kong if you want. Oh, I'd just love to do that, Kev.'
'You should definitely apply, then,' said Kevin. 'I bet they'd snap you up.'
'Yeah, they might well,' Lucy laughed. 'It says here that they're keen on Oriental students – they even have a yearly quota they like to fill!'
'I'm not sure that either the idea or the terminology is very helpful to the world in general,' said Kevin, 'but if it's helpful to you, Luce, then I'm all for it.'
'It's a pipe-dream, Kev,' Lucy sighed, 'nothing more.'
'Why?'
'My family seems to be dead set against the idea, especially my dad. And as for my mom... well, I can't get much sense out of her about the idea because she's usually drunk nowadays.'
'How about your brother?' said Kevin. 'He'll support you, won't he?'
'I'm not sure,' said Lucy. 'John keeps saying he wants me to be absolutely certain that I'm ready and that I'm doing it for the right reasons. He's not exactly against the idea; he just wants me to be careful, I guess.'
'That's good advice,' said Kevin.
'But my dad...' Lucy sighed. 'It's just not in his grand plan, Kev. Sometimes I think I really might lose it and take a swing at him... or maybe ask you to do it for me. He's a stupid little man – I'm sure you could flatten him with one punch!'
'My non-violence mantra hasn't changed, Luce,' said Kevin. 'Well, not in theory...'
'I'll never get him to see things from my point of view,' said Lucy.
'I guess... I guess whatever your dad says to you and thinks about your life choices, it's coming from the right place,' said Kevin. 'I mean, it's because he loves you... even if he doesn't understand you... that has to be the reason, right?'
'Yeah, I guess so,' Lucy sighed. 'I just wish he'd make an effort to understand me, that's all.'
'I know how you feel,' said Kevin. 'Believe me, Luce, I do. I'll just bet my dad wants me to be a cop, like him and mi abuelo... unless he thinks I'm too sissy or something... but I don't want to do that, whatever else I do or don't want to do. So, I'm not going to do it.'
'Simple as that, huh?'
'Ultimately, yeah. I mean, there might be the occasional screaming match along the way, but I know he's not gonna change my mind when it comes to the decisions I make about my life, because they're my decisions to make and he's just going to have to accept them, in the end. We have to decide who we want to be and what we want to do, but we have to be true to ourselves when we make those decisions, then we know they'll be the right ones.'
'It sounds like you've been thinking about this a lot, Kev,' said Lucy.
'I have,' said Kevin. 'For various reasons, I have... and I know you'll be true to yourself, Luce, just like I will be. You'll investigate this University of Nottingham thing thoroughly, you'll apply to go there when the time comes, you'll argue with your dad until he realises there's nothing he can do to stop you... and then you'll go to England after we graduate, I just know it!'
'I... I will,' said Lucy. 'Yes, Kev – that's exactly what I'm going to do! Would you come visit me? If I was in Nottingham, I mean – would you come over and stay the night on the floor?'
'Sure, that'd be great,' Kevin grinned at her. 'I love sleepovers. It's a definite plan!'
'Yeah – I'll just have to do it now,' Lucy laughed. 'Oh, but maybe there is a way my dad can stop me – he can refuse to pay for any of it!'
'He won't do that – he's not gonna deny you your college education,' said Kevin. 'You just have to stand your ground, Luce, and he will come around in the end – I promise.'
Lucy smiled, rose from her armchair, perched on the edge of Kevin's and then put her arms around him.
'You're the best friend a girl could have,' she told him. 'I love you, Kev – you know that, don't you?'
'Yeah, well, you're only human,' Kevin laughed.
'And you're definitely not a sissy, you know,' Lucy added. 'Even if you are... different from your dad in some ways, that doesn't mean you're anything except... well, you're Kevin. And that's a really fantastic thing to be!'
'Thanks, Luce,' said Kevin, fixing her with a smile. 'Come on – we'd better get to class.'
'University of Nottingham, huh?' he announced himself. 'Are you gonna apply?'
Lucy lowered the prospectus, and fixed Kevin with a warm and slightly wistful smile.
'I really want to,' she said, 'but I'm not sure I can.'
'It's in England, right?'
'Yeah, that's right. Plus you get to spend a whole year studying in Hong Kong if you want. Oh, I'd just love to do that, Kev.'
'You should definitely apply, then,' said Kevin. 'I bet they'd snap you up.'
'Yeah, they might well,' Lucy laughed. 'It says here that they're keen on Oriental students – they even have a yearly quota they like to fill!'
'I'm not sure that either the idea or the terminology is very helpful to the world in general,' said Kevin, 'but if it's helpful to you, Luce, then I'm all for it.'
'It's a pipe-dream, Kev,' Lucy sighed, 'nothing more.'
'Why?'
'My family seems to be dead set against the idea, especially my dad. And as for my mom... well, I can't get much sense out of her about the idea because she's usually drunk nowadays.'
'How about your brother?' said Kevin. 'He'll support you, won't he?'
'I'm not sure,' said Lucy. 'John keeps saying he wants me to be absolutely certain that I'm ready and that I'm doing it for the right reasons. He's not exactly against the idea; he just wants me to be careful, I guess.'
'That's good advice,' said Kevin.
'But my dad...' Lucy sighed. 'It's just not in his grand plan, Kev. Sometimes I think I really might lose it and take a swing at him... or maybe ask you to do it for me. He's a stupid little man – I'm sure you could flatten him with one punch!'
'My non-violence mantra hasn't changed, Luce,' said Kevin. 'Well, not in theory...'
'I'll never get him to see things from my point of view,' said Lucy.
'I guess... I guess whatever your dad says to you and thinks about your life choices, it's coming from the right place,' said Kevin. 'I mean, it's because he loves you... even if he doesn't understand you... that has to be the reason, right?'
'Yeah, I guess so,' Lucy sighed. 'I just wish he'd make an effort to understand me, that's all.'
'I know how you feel,' said Kevin. 'Believe me, Luce, I do. I'll just bet my dad wants me to be a cop, like him and mi abuelo... unless he thinks I'm too sissy or something... but I don't want to do that, whatever else I do or don't want to do. So, I'm not going to do it.'
'Simple as that, huh?'
'Ultimately, yeah. I mean, there might be the occasional screaming match along the way, but I know he's not gonna change my mind when it comes to the decisions I make about my life, because they're my decisions to make and he's just going to have to accept them, in the end. We have to decide who we want to be and what we want to do, but we have to be true to ourselves when we make those decisions, then we know they'll be the right ones.'
'It sounds like you've been thinking about this a lot, Kev,' said Lucy.
'I have,' said Kevin. 'For various reasons, I have... and I know you'll be true to yourself, Luce, just like I will be. You'll investigate this University of Nottingham thing thoroughly, you'll apply to go there when the time comes, you'll argue with your dad until he realises there's nothing he can do to stop you... and then you'll go to England after we graduate, I just know it!'
'I... I will,' said Lucy. 'Yes, Kev – that's exactly what I'm going to do! Would you come visit me? If I was in Nottingham, I mean – would you come over and stay the night on the floor?'
'Sure, that'd be great,' Kevin grinned at her. 'I love sleepovers. It's a definite plan!'
'Yeah – I'll just have to do it now,' Lucy laughed. 'Oh, but maybe there is a way my dad can stop me – he can refuse to pay for any of it!'
'He won't do that – he's not gonna deny you your college education,' said Kevin. 'You just have to stand your ground, Luce, and he will come around in the end – I promise.'
Lucy smiled, rose from her armchair, perched on the edge of Kevin's and then put her arms around him.
'You're the best friend a girl could have,' she told him. 'I love you, Kev – you know that, don't you?'
'Yeah, well, you're only human,' Kevin laughed.
'And you're definitely not a sissy, you know,' Lucy added. 'Even if you are... different from your dad in some ways, that doesn't mean you're anything except... well, you're Kevin. And that's a really fantastic thing to be!'
'Thanks, Luce,' said Kevin, fixing her with a smile. 'Come on – we'd better get to class.'
Kevin was sitting at his computer and had just typed become a paramedic into Google when a tentative knocking sounded on his open bedroom door. He swivelled around in his chair and saw that his mother was standing in the doorway.
'Hi, Kevin,' she said.
'Hi, Mom,' Kevin smiled at her. 'You can come in if you want – I'm not doing anything secret. Jeez, are you okay? You look a little anxious.'
'Yes, I guess I am a little anxious,' Beth admitted, perching herself on the end of Kevin's bed as she spoke. 'You see, I've just done a... a test.'
'What kind of a test?' said Kevin. 'A personality test in one of those magazines you sometimes buy?'
'No, not that kind of test,' said Beth. 'A test in the bathroom – a dip test, if you see what I mean.'
'Oh, that kind of test. Is everything okay? Have you found out you've got diabetes or something?'
'I'm not ill, Kevin. But in spite of that, the test was positive.'
'Whoa! Hold the phone a minute here,' said Kevin. 'Mom, are you seriously telling me that you're pregnant?'
Beth looked utterly overwhelmed for a moment, then she looked down at her feet and nodded her head.
'Are you sure you did the test right?' said Kevin.
'Yes,' said Beth. 'It was pretty easy – just fill up the beaker, dip the stick in and...'
'But Mom, that's... that's wonderful news!' said Kevin, beaming all over his face.
'You really think so?'
'Of course!'
'But... but I'm so old.'
'You're not so old – plenty of women your age and older are having babies nowadays and no one thinks anything of it, and anyway it wouldn't matter if they did.'
'I'm so glad that you're pleased,' said Beth, looking happier now. 'I hope your father will feel the same way.'
'Of course he will – he just has to!' said Kevin. 'It's going to be great – I'll help with the feeding and the diapers and the getting up in the middle of the night and everything!'
Beth nodded and smiled, and then she started to cry. Kevin leapt from the swivel chair and went to sit next to her on the bed. She drew him close to her and started sobbing into his hair.
'Why are you crying, Mom?' Kevin asked, sounding very concerned.
'Because you're being so nice to me!' Beth wept.
'You didn't think I would be?' Kevin laughed.
'Of course I didn't think you wouldn't be,' said Beth, unable to stop herself from laughing too. 'But your father...'
'He'll be thrilled!' said Kevin. 'Trust me, Mom – he will be!'
'Hi, Kevin,' she said.
'Hi, Mom,' Kevin smiled at her. 'You can come in if you want – I'm not doing anything secret. Jeez, are you okay? You look a little anxious.'
'Yes, I guess I am a little anxious,' Beth admitted, perching herself on the end of Kevin's bed as she spoke. 'You see, I've just done a... a test.'
'What kind of a test?' said Kevin. 'A personality test in one of those magazines you sometimes buy?'
'No, not that kind of test,' said Beth. 'A test in the bathroom – a dip test, if you see what I mean.'
'Oh, that kind of test. Is everything okay? Have you found out you've got diabetes or something?'
'I'm not ill, Kevin. But in spite of that, the test was positive.'
'Whoa! Hold the phone a minute here,' said Kevin. 'Mom, are you seriously telling me that you're pregnant?'
Beth looked utterly overwhelmed for a moment, then she looked down at her feet and nodded her head.
'Are you sure you did the test right?' said Kevin.
'Yes,' said Beth. 'It was pretty easy – just fill up the beaker, dip the stick in and...'
'But Mom, that's... that's wonderful news!' said Kevin, beaming all over his face.
'You really think so?'
'Of course!'
'But... but I'm so old.'
'You're not so old – plenty of women your age and older are having babies nowadays and no one thinks anything of it, and anyway it wouldn't matter if they did.'
'I'm so glad that you're pleased,' said Beth, looking happier now. 'I hope your father will feel the same way.'
'Of course he will – he just has to!' said Kevin. 'It's going to be great – I'll help with the feeding and the diapers and the getting up in the middle of the night and everything!'
Beth nodded and smiled, and then she started to cry. Kevin leapt from the swivel chair and went to sit next to her on the bed. She drew him close to her and started sobbing into his hair.
'Why are you crying, Mom?' Kevin asked, sounding very concerned.
'Because you're being so nice to me!' Beth wept.
'You didn't think I would be?' Kevin laughed.
'Of course I didn't think you wouldn't be,' said Beth, unable to stop herself from laughing too. 'But your father...'
'He'll be thrilled!' said Kevin. 'Trust me, Mom – he will be!'
Kylie woke up very suddenly and blinked rapidly as her eyes adjusted to the pre-dawn light. She could hear the shower running in the next room; glancing at the empty space in the bed next to her, she realised who must be using it. Just as she was about to close her eyes again, Kylie caught sight of a motionless figure standing at the foot of the bed.
'Eduardo, is that you?' she mumbled sleepily. 'Who's using the shower?'
'Now come along, dear,' said a familiar voice, 'do I really look like Eduardo to you? Perhaps you should stop putting off that check-up with the optician, hmm?'
'Jesus...' Kylie muttered, as she pulled herself up into a sitting position against the pillows. 'Grandma Rose, is that you?'
'Of course it's me, my child,' came the reply. 'And please don't blaspheme like that – you sound like a hillbilly.'
'I... I'm sorry, Grandma Rose,' said Kylie. 'Is that really, really you this time? You're not gonna turn into a demon and possess me, are you?'
'Don't be silly, Kylie,' said Grandma Rose. 'Is that really the most sensible thing you have to say, after waiting so long to see me again?'
'Actually I think it was a sensible question, yeah. But let's just assume I believe you for now. Why are you here?'
'To see you, my child. You had so many questions you wanted to ask, didn't you? You had so much you wanted to say to me.'
'Um... yeah, I did,' said Kylie, shaking her head involuntarily. 'I'm sorry, Grandma Rose, but I can't seem to remember any of that stuff right now.'
'Of course you can't!' Grandma Rose said triumphantly. 'And that's why I'm able to appear to you at this particular time, my dear – because you've finally stopped spending all your time thinking that you still need an on old fossil like me in your life. You haven't thought about me for a whole year, you know.'
'Oh Grandma Rose, that's just not true!' said Kylie, sounding very distressed. 'I think about you every day! I always think what you'd say to me about my life, and what you'd think of the decisions I make... I can't see an old woman wearing a headscarf without thinking of you, and I can't look at those hair-grips you used to wear all the time without thinking of you, and I can't walk past a display of those plain cookies you used to dunk in your tea without thinking of you, and every time I smell that medicinal disinfectant you used to put on my knees...'
'That's lovely, darling, but it's not quite what I meant,' said Grandma Rose. 'I meant that you haven't pined for me for a whole year – you haven't had that nagging feeling that your life would be better if I was still around – and that's a good thing, my child.'
'But it would be better – I know it would!' said Kylie.
'It would be different in many ways, most of them infinitely pleasurable for both of us I'm sure,' said Grandma Rose. 'But it wouldn't be better. You're in a good place, with a good man. There's a lot to be said for that, my dear.'
'I'm so glad you approve of Eduardo,' said Kylie, beaming all over her face.
'Of course I approve of him, darling,' said Grandma Rose. 'I always used to worry you were going to end up with some stuffy old college professor who had no business shacking up with a girl your age!'
'Well I always thought you were going to end up with that horny old caretaker who always came and chatted you up when we went to the park,' Kylie countered.
'Oh no, dear – we were just friends,' said Grandma Rose. 'You're in a good place now, Kylie – physically and emotionally, I mean. You're one of the Riveras – you could have done very much worse.'
'I couldn't have done any better,' said Kylie. 'I love Eduardo... and I love Kevin... and I love Beth... all in different ways, of course. I can't honestly say I love Carl, but I know his heart's in the right place.'
'He's quite a catch, that Eduardo,' said Grandma Rose. 'Such a fine young man; easily mistaken for a layabout, of course, but most of us can see more clearly than that if we stop and think for just a moment, can't we dear?'
'Yes, Grandma Rose.'
'I was speaking to that father of his – Al – only the other day, and I'm pleased to say he thinks you're quite a catch too.'
'He does?'
'Oh yes, dear. He thinks you're practically perfect in every way, although you could stand to put on a couple of pounds.'
'Grandma Rose, you're pulling my leg!' Kylie laughed.
'Perhaps,' said Grandma Rose, 'but now I'm going to give you a very serious piece of advice and you are going to follow it, my dear – take the test.'
'Test? What test?'
'You know what I'm talking about, darling. Take the test, then you'll see.'
Kylie opened her mouth to speak again, but she suddenly found that she was lying back on the pillows and sunlight was streaming into the bedroom. Pagan was cuddled up next to her on the bed, snoring softly. Eduardo was standing at the foot of the bed, pulling on a pair of trousers as he dripped water all over the place.
'Hey, you're awake,' he smiled at her. 'You were talking in your sleep, you know.'
'I was, huh?' said Kylie. 'What did I say?'
'I didn't really catch anything definite,' said Eduardo. 'Something about making a mess?'
'Yes,' said Kylie. 'Yes, I see...'
'Eduardo, is that you?' she mumbled sleepily. 'Who's using the shower?'
'Now come along, dear,' said a familiar voice, 'do I really look like Eduardo to you? Perhaps you should stop putting off that check-up with the optician, hmm?'
'Jesus...' Kylie muttered, as she pulled herself up into a sitting position against the pillows. 'Grandma Rose, is that you?'
'Of course it's me, my child,' came the reply. 'And please don't blaspheme like that – you sound like a hillbilly.'
'I... I'm sorry, Grandma Rose,' said Kylie. 'Is that really, really you this time? You're not gonna turn into a demon and possess me, are you?'
'Don't be silly, Kylie,' said Grandma Rose. 'Is that really the most sensible thing you have to say, after waiting so long to see me again?'
'Actually I think it was a sensible question, yeah. But let's just assume I believe you for now. Why are you here?'
'To see you, my child. You had so many questions you wanted to ask, didn't you? You had so much you wanted to say to me.'
'Um... yeah, I did,' said Kylie, shaking her head involuntarily. 'I'm sorry, Grandma Rose, but I can't seem to remember any of that stuff right now.'
'Of course you can't!' Grandma Rose said triumphantly. 'And that's why I'm able to appear to you at this particular time, my dear – because you've finally stopped spending all your time thinking that you still need an on old fossil like me in your life. You haven't thought about me for a whole year, you know.'
'Oh Grandma Rose, that's just not true!' said Kylie, sounding very distressed. 'I think about you every day! I always think what you'd say to me about my life, and what you'd think of the decisions I make... I can't see an old woman wearing a headscarf without thinking of you, and I can't look at those hair-grips you used to wear all the time without thinking of you, and I can't walk past a display of those plain cookies you used to dunk in your tea without thinking of you, and every time I smell that medicinal disinfectant you used to put on my knees...'
'That's lovely, darling, but it's not quite what I meant,' said Grandma Rose. 'I meant that you haven't pined for me for a whole year – you haven't had that nagging feeling that your life would be better if I was still around – and that's a good thing, my child.'
'But it would be better – I know it would!' said Kylie.
'It would be different in many ways, most of them infinitely pleasurable for both of us I'm sure,' said Grandma Rose. 'But it wouldn't be better. You're in a good place, with a good man. There's a lot to be said for that, my dear.'
'I'm so glad you approve of Eduardo,' said Kylie, beaming all over her face.
'Of course I approve of him, darling,' said Grandma Rose. 'I always used to worry you were going to end up with some stuffy old college professor who had no business shacking up with a girl your age!'
'Well I always thought you were going to end up with that horny old caretaker who always came and chatted you up when we went to the park,' Kylie countered.
'Oh no, dear – we were just friends,' said Grandma Rose. 'You're in a good place now, Kylie – physically and emotionally, I mean. You're one of the Riveras – you could have done very much worse.'
'I couldn't have done any better,' said Kylie. 'I love Eduardo... and I love Kevin... and I love Beth... all in different ways, of course. I can't honestly say I love Carl, but I know his heart's in the right place.'
'He's quite a catch, that Eduardo,' said Grandma Rose. 'Such a fine young man; easily mistaken for a layabout, of course, but most of us can see more clearly than that if we stop and think for just a moment, can't we dear?'
'Yes, Grandma Rose.'
'I was speaking to that father of his – Al – only the other day, and I'm pleased to say he thinks you're quite a catch too.'
'He does?'
'Oh yes, dear. He thinks you're practically perfect in every way, although you could stand to put on a couple of pounds.'
'Grandma Rose, you're pulling my leg!' Kylie laughed.
'Perhaps,' said Grandma Rose, 'but now I'm going to give you a very serious piece of advice and you are going to follow it, my dear – take the test.'
'Test? What test?'
'You know what I'm talking about, darling. Take the test, then you'll see.'
Kylie opened her mouth to speak again, but she suddenly found that she was lying back on the pillows and sunlight was streaming into the bedroom. Pagan was cuddled up next to her on the bed, snoring softly. Eduardo was standing at the foot of the bed, pulling on a pair of trousers as he dripped water all over the place.
'Hey, you're awake,' he smiled at her. 'You were talking in your sleep, you know.'
'I was, huh?' said Kylie. 'What did I say?'
'I didn't really catch anything definite,' said Eduardo. 'Something about making a mess?'
'Yes,' said Kylie. 'Yes, I see...'
Jessica opened the front door to find that Kevin was once again standing on the threshold. She rolled her eyes, and stood aside to let him in.
'He's in the lounge with his guitar,' she said, before quickly sloping off.
Kevin entered the front room. Sure enough, Oscar was sitting on the couch practising some fingering on his guitar.
'Hey, dude,' he said when he saw Kevin.
'Hey, man,' said Kevin. 'Sorry to disturb you while you're strumming your guitar.'
'You know I enjoy strumming my guitar even more than usual when you're watching me do it,' said Oscar.
'Ha-ha, yeah,' said Kevin, looking down at his feet. 'So, guess what I've just gone and done.'
'What have you just gone and done?' said Oscar.
'You'll never guess,' Kevin grinned.
'Why don't you go ahead and tell me, then?' said Oscar.
'I just applied to be a busboy at the Mexican restaurant in the mall!' Kevin announced.
'You mean Tom's Mexican Salsa Hut?' said Oscar.
'Exactly,' said Kevin. 'They haven't told me for definite yet but I think they're gonna take me on! Isn't that fantastic?'
'Um... yeah, I guess it is,' said Oscar, 'if you want to be a busboy, although I must admit I hadn't actually realised –'
Kevin laughed, and dug Oscar in the ribs with some force.
'It's for us, you spaz!' he giggled. 'For our Mexico trip, I mean. I'm gonna save up all the money for our gap year!'
'Oh, I see,' said Oscar, also starting to laugh. 'Wow, that's wonderful, dude! Do you really think they're gonna take you on?'
'Yeah,' said Kevin. 'They, er... well, they said I looked right... they said the customers would enjoy looking at me while they ate their Mexican food... they said I'd help to make the experience more authentic.'
'Oh,' said Oscar. 'Positive discrimination, huh?'
'Yeah, I guess so,' Kevin shrugged. 'But who cares, so long as they pay me? I mean, it's not like they're gonna ask me to grow a huge moustache and put on a sombrero and strum a guitar; I'm just gonna be doing normal busboy stuff, like all the other busboys.'
Oscar played a few bars of the Mexican Hat Dance on his guitar. They both laughed.
'It's an excellent idea, dude,' said Oscar. 'I'm gonna have to pull myself together and really get Mood Slime off the ground in the new year; y'know, start advertising and everything! All we've done so far is play a few school dances and birthday parties when whoever was organising them ran out of options for real bands and thought of asking us!'
'I'm really starting to feel like we can actually make this Mexico thing happen!' said Kevin. 'I hope everyone's gonna be supportive.'
'Everyone?'
'Our families, man.'
'My mom will probably think it's a great idea,' said Oscar. 'I don't think your mom will be a problem either.'
'No, I guess not,' said Kevin. 'But... well, you know my father already thinks we spend way too much time together.'
'I don't give a damn what your father thinks!' said Oscar.
'Neither do I, really,' said Kevin. 'I just hope he's not going to make things difficult for us.'
'We won't let him,' said Oscar. 'Do you mind if I play a song now? I need to check if I've got this fingering right.'
'I'd love to hear you play a song,' said Kevin.
Oscar's guitar started to emit the opening notes of John Lennon's 'Imagine'. When he got to the end of the instrumental part, he started to sing the first verse. After a few lines, Kevin joined in.
'He's in the lounge with his guitar,' she said, before quickly sloping off.
Kevin entered the front room. Sure enough, Oscar was sitting on the couch practising some fingering on his guitar.
'Hey, dude,' he said when he saw Kevin.
'Hey, man,' said Kevin. 'Sorry to disturb you while you're strumming your guitar.'
'You know I enjoy strumming my guitar even more than usual when you're watching me do it,' said Oscar.
'Ha-ha, yeah,' said Kevin, looking down at his feet. 'So, guess what I've just gone and done.'
'What have you just gone and done?' said Oscar.
'You'll never guess,' Kevin grinned.
'Why don't you go ahead and tell me, then?' said Oscar.
'I just applied to be a busboy at the Mexican restaurant in the mall!' Kevin announced.
'You mean Tom's Mexican Salsa Hut?' said Oscar.
'Exactly,' said Kevin. 'They haven't told me for definite yet but I think they're gonna take me on! Isn't that fantastic?'
'Um... yeah, I guess it is,' said Oscar, 'if you want to be a busboy, although I must admit I hadn't actually realised –'
Kevin laughed, and dug Oscar in the ribs with some force.
'It's for us, you spaz!' he giggled. 'For our Mexico trip, I mean. I'm gonna save up all the money for our gap year!'
'Oh, I see,' said Oscar, also starting to laugh. 'Wow, that's wonderful, dude! Do you really think they're gonna take you on?'
'Yeah,' said Kevin. 'They, er... well, they said I looked right... they said the customers would enjoy looking at me while they ate their Mexican food... they said I'd help to make the experience more authentic.'
'Oh,' said Oscar. 'Positive discrimination, huh?'
'Yeah, I guess so,' Kevin shrugged. 'But who cares, so long as they pay me? I mean, it's not like they're gonna ask me to grow a huge moustache and put on a sombrero and strum a guitar; I'm just gonna be doing normal busboy stuff, like all the other busboys.'
Oscar played a few bars of the Mexican Hat Dance on his guitar. They both laughed.
'It's an excellent idea, dude,' said Oscar. 'I'm gonna have to pull myself together and really get Mood Slime off the ground in the new year; y'know, start advertising and everything! All we've done so far is play a few school dances and birthday parties when whoever was organising them ran out of options for real bands and thought of asking us!'
'I'm really starting to feel like we can actually make this Mexico thing happen!' said Kevin. 'I hope everyone's gonna be supportive.'
'Everyone?'
'Our families, man.'
'My mom will probably think it's a great idea,' said Oscar. 'I don't think your mom will be a problem either.'
'No, I guess not,' said Kevin. 'But... well, you know my father already thinks we spend way too much time together.'
'I don't give a damn what your father thinks!' said Oscar.
'Neither do I, really,' said Kevin. 'I just hope he's not going to make things difficult for us.'
'We won't let him,' said Oscar. 'Do you mind if I play a song now? I need to check if I've got this fingering right.'
'I'd love to hear you play a song,' said Kevin.
Oscar's guitar started to emit the opening notes of John Lennon's 'Imagine'. When he got to the end of the instrumental part, he started to sing the first verse. After a few lines, Kevin joined in.
Sitting at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, Jessica looked up from the comic she was reading and frowned at the closed door. She put her fingers in her ears and attempted to hold down the edges of her comic with her elbows, making faces all the while.
'I told you your voice was still up to it,' said Oscar, fixing Kevin with a look. 'You sang that final chorus beautifully.'
'I guess we did sound pretty good together,' said Kevin. 'Maybe I should be in your band after all.'
'I love that song,' said Oscar. 'I think maybe it's my favourite. Imagine there's no Heaven...'
'You're not telling me you don't believe in some kind of afterlife, right?' said Kevin, giving Oscar a look.
'No, I'm not saying that,' Oscar smiled in amusement, 'but I do agree with most of what the song has to say. Just imagine, dude – imagine what it'd be like not to worry about what anyone thinks or believes, and just live in carefree sin!'
'Sin?' Kevin queried.
'Outside the boundaries of what's considered normal,' Oscar amended.
'Is that what you want to do, man?'
'Yes, dude.'
'How?' said Kevin.
'Well,' said Oscar, 'if you want to know what I really want –'
'Oscar!' Jessica moaned as she barged into the room, 'you're supposed to be taking care of me but you're totally ignoring me! Come into the kitchen and read me something funny off the internet.'
'Okay, Jess,' Oscar sighed. 'I'll get us all something to drink first.'
They all went into the kitchen, where Jessica started booting up the family computer. Oscar opened a wall cupboard, tutted, closed it again and then opened another one.
'Use the nice tumblers,' he muttered to himself.
'What was that, man?' said Kevin.
'Oh... nothing, really,' said Oscar, laughing self-consciously. 'I was just telling myself to use the nice tumblers.'
'He doesn't get the nice tumblers out for just anyone, you know,' Jessica added.
'I'm honoured,' Kevin laughed. 'What makes them nicer than the tumblers you were going for originally?'
'These ones have pictures of cats on them,' Oscar explained. 'Look, dude – I'm giving you this one that's got itself all tangled up in yarn.'
'That's his favourite one,' Jessica told Kevin.
'I think we've got some strawberry Sunny D in here too,' Oscar said with his head in the fridge. 'Yes, here it is.'
'Wow,' Kevin laughed, 'the perfect drink – strawberry Sunny D in a nice tumbler!'
'Oscar, what's that website with the celebrity name puns?' said Jessica.
'Oh, I know a fantastic one like that,' said Kevin. 'I'll find it for you if you want.'
'Okay,' said Jessica, vacating the swivel chair, 'but don't go screwing around with my Favourites!'
Kevin laughed, and took his place at the computer. By the time Oscar had distributed the drinks, Kevin had found the website he was looking for.
'Okay, this is a tennis question,' said Kevin. 'Which former Wimbledon, Australian Open and US Open Ladies' Champion is the smallest?'
'Are you sure that's a joke?' Jessica asked suspiciously.
'Yes,' said Kevin.
'We give up, dude,' said Oscar.
'Lindsay Davenshort,' said Kevin.
Oscar laughed, but Jessica scowled.
'That's pathetic!' she said. 'Don't they have anything better?'
'Um... okay, how about this?' said Kevin. 'Who plays the guitar and is bad-tempered?'
'Oscar,' Jessica laughed.
'Shut up – I'm not bad-tempered anymore!' Oscar snapped at her.
'You are so!' Jessica pouted.
'The answer is Keith Bit– oh no, I can't read that in front of Jessica!' said Kevin.
'I know what it says – it's a pathetic play on Keith Richards!' said Jessica.
'Yeah, it is,' said Kevin. 'Okay, then – who is thin, blond and flatulent?'
'Oscar!' Jessica declared in delight.
'Gary Burphoff?' Oscar suggested, pointedly ignoring his sister.
'Windy Crawford,' said Kevin. 'Sorry; these aren't as funny as I remembered. How about we all play a board game instead?'
'Ooh, yeah; how about Dream Phone?' Oscar suggested.
'Okay,' said Jessica, looking significantly happier now. 'I'll go get it.'
'I guess we did sound pretty good together,' said Kevin. 'Maybe I should be in your band after all.'
'I love that song,' said Oscar. 'I think maybe it's my favourite. Imagine there's no Heaven...'
'You're not telling me you don't believe in some kind of afterlife, right?' said Kevin, giving Oscar a look.
'No, I'm not saying that,' Oscar smiled in amusement, 'but I do agree with most of what the song has to say. Just imagine, dude – imagine what it'd be like not to worry about what anyone thinks or believes, and just live in carefree sin!'
'Sin?' Kevin queried.
'Outside the boundaries of what's considered normal,' Oscar amended.
'Is that what you want to do, man?'
'Yes, dude.'
'How?' said Kevin.
'Well,' said Oscar, 'if you want to know what I really want –'
'Oscar!' Jessica moaned as she barged into the room, 'you're supposed to be taking care of me but you're totally ignoring me! Come into the kitchen and read me something funny off the internet.'
'Okay, Jess,' Oscar sighed. 'I'll get us all something to drink first.'
They all went into the kitchen, where Jessica started booting up the family computer. Oscar opened a wall cupboard, tutted, closed it again and then opened another one.
'Use the nice tumblers,' he muttered to himself.
'What was that, man?' said Kevin.
'Oh... nothing, really,' said Oscar, laughing self-consciously. 'I was just telling myself to use the nice tumblers.'
'He doesn't get the nice tumblers out for just anyone, you know,' Jessica added.
'I'm honoured,' Kevin laughed. 'What makes them nicer than the tumblers you were going for originally?'
'These ones have pictures of cats on them,' Oscar explained. 'Look, dude – I'm giving you this one that's got itself all tangled up in yarn.'
'That's his favourite one,' Jessica told Kevin.
'I think we've got some strawberry Sunny D in here too,' Oscar said with his head in the fridge. 'Yes, here it is.'
'Wow,' Kevin laughed, 'the perfect drink – strawberry Sunny D in a nice tumbler!'
'Oscar, what's that website with the celebrity name puns?' said Jessica.
'Oh, I know a fantastic one like that,' said Kevin. 'I'll find it for you if you want.'
'Okay,' said Jessica, vacating the swivel chair, 'but don't go screwing around with my Favourites!'
Kevin laughed, and took his place at the computer. By the time Oscar had distributed the drinks, Kevin had found the website he was looking for.
'Okay, this is a tennis question,' said Kevin. 'Which former Wimbledon, Australian Open and US Open Ladies' Champion is the smallest?'
'Are you sure that's a joke?' Jessica asked suspiciously.
'Yes,' said Kevin.
'We give up, dude,' said Oscar.
'Lindsay Davenshort,' said Kevin.
Oscar laughed, but Jessica scowled.
'That's pathetic!' she said. 'Don't they have anything better?'
'Um... okay, how about this?' said Kevin. 'Who plays the guitar and is bad-tempered?'
'Oscar,' Jessica laughed.
'Shut up – I'm not bad-tempered anymore!' Oscar snapped at her.
'You are so!' Jessica pouted.
'The answer is Keith Bit– oh no, I can't read that in front of Jessica!' said Kevin.
'I know what it says – it's a pathetic play on Keith Richards!' said Jessica.
'Yeah, it is,' said Kevin. 'Okay, then – who is thin, blond and flatulent?'
'Oscar!' Jessica declared in delight.
'Gary Burphoff?' Oscar suggested, pointedly ignoring his sister.
'Windy Crawford,' said Kevin. 'Sorry; these aren't as funny as I remembered. How about we all play a board game instead?'
'Ooh, yeah; how about Dream Phone?' Oscar suggested.
'Okay,' said Jessica, looking significantly happier now. 'I'll go get it.'
Kevin arrived home to find Kylie peering through the mail slot in the front door.
'Hey, Kylie,' he said as he came up behind her. 'What's going on?'
'Oh, Kev,' said Kylie, turning to face him. 'Your parents aren't home, huh?'
'They'll have left for their weekly Date Night by now,' said Kevin. 'Will I do instead?'
'Um, well... maybe you could just tell your mom I want to speak to her sometime soon,' said Kylie, edging away from the door.
'You look agitated, Ky,' said Kevin. 'Are you sure there's nothing I can do to help?'
Kylie adopted an expression of uncertainty, and shrugged.
'Why don't you come on in?' said Kevin. 'I'll make you some coffee.'
'I'm not sure I should be drinking coffee,' Kylie demurred. 'Do you have any Sunny Delight?'
'Yeah, sure,' said Kevin. 'I'll get us both some Sunny D.'
A couple of minutes later, Kylie and Kevin were sitting on the couch with a glass of Sunny Delight each. Kylie was staring down into her lap, looking more than a little troubled.
'So, what's up?' Kevin prompted her.
Kylie looked up, met his eyes and said, 'I'm pregnant, Kev.'
'You are?' said Kevin. 'Jeez, what is it about me that constantly makes women want to tell me they're pregnant?'
'Who else has told you she's pregnant?' Kylie asked with interest. 'Oh my God, it's not Lucy, is it? You two haven't secretly been –?'
'Lucy's not pregnant, Ky... at least not so far as I know... but I don't think it's very likely... and even if she is, I'm definitely not the father!'
'Is Ella the one who's pregnant, then?'
'Um... I guess that's more likely, but I'd actually be a little surprised if Mike and Ella were... anyways, whatever; she hasn't confided in me.'
'So who's pregnant? Aside from me, I mean.'
'I don't think I should say... but you'll probably find out pretty soon,' said Kevin. 'So, yeah, that's great news for you and Eduardo.'
'Yeah, I... I guess it is,' said Kylie, smiling for the first time during the conversation. 'I just don't know how Eduardo's gonna react when I tell him.'
'He'll be over the moon!' said Kevin. 'It's fantastic news – I'm really happy for you both! I'll come over and help you with the changing and the feeding and stuff... when I'm not busy looking after... er, other people.'
'I bet you'll be a natural with kids, Kev,' said Kylie. 'You just have that nurturing way about you.'
'Ha-ha, thanks,' said Kevin, staring at his feet. 'So, er... why did you think you shouldn't be drinking coffee?'
'Caffeine, Kev,' said Kylie. 'It could be bad for the baby.'
'Could it?'
'Yeah... couldn't it?'
'I don't think so, Ky,' said Kevin. 'Obviously you don't want to do drugs and drink alcohol while you're pregnant, but –'
'Caffeine is a drug,' Kylie pointed out.
'Yeah, but I don't think the baby's gonna come out addicted to it if you drink a cup of coffee now and again,' said Kevin. 'Still, I could be wrong – I'm only having a guess.'
'I'm gonna have to read up on that,' said Kylie, 'and about a billion other things too! But first I guess I'd better tell Eduardo.'
'Go home and tell him right now,' Kevin encouraged her. 'He'll be absolutely thrilled, I just know it!'
'Yeah,' said Kylie, smiling very widely now. 'Yeah, I think he will. Thanks, Kev.'
'Hey, Kylie,' he said as he came up behind her. 'What's going on?'
'Oh, Kev,' said Kylie, turning to face him. 'Your parents aren't home, huh?'
'They'll have left for their weekly Date Night by now,' said Kevin. 'Will I do instead?'
'Um, well... maybe you could just tell your mom I want to speak to her sometime soon,' said Kylie, edging away from the door.
'You look agitated, Ky,' said Kevin. 'Are you sure there's nothing I can do to help?'
Kylie adopted an expression of uncertainty, and shrugged.
'Why don't you come on in?' said Kevin. 'I'll make you some coffee.'
'I'm not sure I should be drinking coffee,' Kylie demurred. 'Do you have any Sunny Delight?'
'Yeah, sure,' said Kevin. 'I'll get us both some Sunny D.'
A couple of minutes later, Kylie and Kevin were sitting on the couch with a glass of Sunny Delight each. Kylie was staring down into her lap, looking more than a little troubled.
'So, what's up?' Kevin prompted her.
Kylie looked up, met his eyes and said, 'I'm pregnant, Kev.'
'You are?' said Kevin. 'Jeez, what is it about me that constantly makes women want to tell me they're pregnant?'
'Who else has told you she's pregnant?' Kylie asked with interest. 'Oh my God, it's not Lucy, is it? You two haven't secretly been –?'
'Lucy's not pregnant, Ky... at least not so far as I know... but I don't think it's very likely... and even if she is, I'm definitely not the father!'
'Is Ella the one who's pregnant, then?'
'Um... I guess that's more likely, but I'd actually be a little surprised if Mike and Ella were... anyways, whatever; she hasn't confided in me.'
'So who's pregnant? Aside from me, I mean.'
'I don't think I should say... but you'll probably find out pretty soon,' said Kevin. 'So, yeah, that's great news for you and Eduardo.'
'Yeah, I... I guess it is,' said Kylie, smiling for the first time during the conversation. 'I just don't know how Eduardo's gonna react when I tell him.'
'He'll be over the moon!' said Kevin. 'It's fantastic news – I'm really happy for you both! I'll come over and help you with the changing and the feeding and stuff... when I'm not busy looking after... er, other people.'
'I bet you'll be a natural with kids, Kev,' said Kylie. 'You just have that nurturing way about you.'
'Ha-ha, thanks,' said Kevin, staring at his feet. 'So, er... why did you think you shouldn't be drinking coffee?'
'Caffeine, Kev,' said Kylie. 'It could be bad for the baby.'
'Could it?'
'Yeah... couldn't it?'
'I don't think so, Ky,' said Kevin. 'Obviously you don't want to do drugs and drink alcohol while you're pregnant, but –'
'Caffeine is a drug,' Kylie pointed out.
'Yeah, but I don't think the baby's gonna come out addicted to it if you drink a cup of coffee now and again,' said Kevin. 'Still, I could be wrong – I'm only having a guess.'
'I'm gonna have to read up on that,' said Kylie, 'and about a billion other things too! But first I guess I'd better tell Eduardo.'
'Go home and tell him right now,' Kevin encouraged her. 'He'll be absolutely thrilled, I just know it!'
'Yeah,' said Kylie, smiling very widely now. 'Yeah, I think he will. Thanks, Kev.'
Kevin emerged from the bathroom dressed in men's pyjamas, and almost walked straight into his father.
'Oh, hey,' said Kevin. 'I didn't hear you guys get back. So, er... how was your date?'
'If you're asking me whether your mother told me that she's pregnant,' said Carl, 'then the answer is yes.'
'Oh,' said Kevin. 'And, er... were you pleased? Are you pleased?'
'Of course I'm pleased,' said Carl. 'Do you think I'm made of stone, son?'
'No, Dad,' said Kevin. 'But I'll admit, I wasn't really sure how you'd react to the news.'
'I guess that's fair enough,' said Carl. 'Do you realise that the age difference between you and the baby is gonna be exactly the same as the age difference between me and your uncle? It's weird how things work out sometimes. I know you're going to be a fantastic brother, Kevin... much better than I ever was!'
'Dad, there's no point thinking things like that,' said Kevin. 'Let's just concentrate on the future, okay? Things are changing... and things are about to change even more... and maybe you're not gonna like some of those changes too much, but I know we'll all be okay in the end.'
'I sure hope so, son,' Carl sighed. 'I've learned from my mistakes, you know – I really have! I'm gonna be a good dad to this baby – I'm gonna make it my mission in life to be just as good a male role model as I know you're gonna be.'
'Ha-ha, yeah,' said Kevin, looking down at his feet. 'But Dad, if you're doubting your abilities as a male role model – and I'm not saying you necessarily should – then you don't need to worry that I've gone short. I've always had Eduardo, and you know I've never forgotten mi abuelo.'
Carl looked at Kevin sharply, then his expression softened and he shrugged his shoulders.
'You take your role models where you can find them, I guess,' he said. 'I'm not saying that your uncle leaves anything to be desired as a role model for you, son, but as for my father...'
'What, Dad?' Kevin asked eagerly. 'Are you gonna tell me something about him? Something about how you feel?'
Carl looked Kevin directly in the eye and said, 'You really want to know how I feel about him?'
'Yes,' said Kevin, 'I really do.'
'Everything you've been told about him is true,' said Carl. 'He was a good man, a good cop and a good father. I admired him, I respected him... and I loved him. I know I'm like him in a lot of ways... and I'm not sorry about that. But you're not like him, Kevin – you're not like him at all... and I'm not sorry about that either.'
'Dad, are you using this as an opportunity to call me a sissy again?'
'No, son, that's not what I'm saying at all.'
'Then what are you saying?'
'My father was a bully, Kevin. He didn't really understand people – people close to him, I mean – and he didn't really make an effort to. This perfect image you've always had of him... it's not the truth, son.'
'But you just said he was a good man!'
'He was... but even a good man has his bad points. Believe me, Kevin – you're not like him.'
'Are you saying I'm not a good man?'
'I'm saying... I'm saying you're a better man, son... and I'm very proud of you.'
'Oh, well...' said Kevin, looking at his feet again, 'I guess that's okay, then. Thanks, Dad.'
Before his father could say another word, Kevin slipped into his bedroom and closed the door behind him.
'Oh, hey,' said Kevin. 'I didn't hear you guys get back. So, er... how was your date?'
'If you're asking me whether your mother told me that she's pregnant,' said Carl, 'then the answer is yes.'
'Oh,' said Kevin. 'And, er... were you pleased? Are you pleased?'
'Of course I'm pleased,' said Carl. 'Do you think I'm made of stone, son?'
'No, Dad,' said Kevin. 'But I'll admit, I wasn't really sure how you'd react to the news.'
'I guess that's fair enough,' said Carl. 'Do you realise that the age difference between you and the baby is gonna be exactly the same as the age difference between me and your uncle? It's weird how things work out sometimes. I know you're going to be a fantastic brother, Kevin... much better than I ever was!'
'Dad, there's no point thinking things like that,' said Kevin. 'Let's just concentrate on the future, okay? Things are changing... and things are about to change even more... and maybe you're not gonna like some of those changes too much, but I know we'll all be okay in the end.'
'I sure hope so, son,' Carl sighed. 'I've learned from my mistakes, you know – I really have! I'm gonna be a good dad to this baby – I'm gonna make it my mission in life to be just as good a male role model as I know you're gonna be.'
'Ha-ha, yeah,' said Kevin, looking down at his feet. 'But Dad, if you're doubting your abilities as a male role model – and I'm not saying you necessarily should – then you don't need to worry that I've gone short. I've always had Eduardo, and you know I've never forgotten mi abuelo.'
Carl looked at Kevin sharply, then his expression softened and he shrugged his shoulders.
'You take your role models where you can find them, I guess,' he said. 'I'm not saying that your uncle leaves anything to be desired as a role model for you, son, but as for my father...'
'What, Dad?' Kevin asked eagerly. 'Are you gonna tell me something about him? Something about how you feel?'
Carl looked Kevin directly in the eye and said, 'You really want to know how I feel about him?'
'Yes,' said Kevin, 'I really do.'
'Everything you've been told about him is true,' said Carl. 'He was a good man, a good cop and a good father. I admired him, I respected him... and I loved him. I know I'm like him in a lot of ways... and I'm not sorry about that. But you're not like him, Kevin – you're not like him at all... and I'm not sorry about that either.'
'Dad, are you using this as an opportunity to call me a sissy again?'
'No, son, that's not what I'm saying at all.'
'Then what are you saying?'
'My father was a bully, Kevin. He didn't really understand people – people close to him, I mean – and he didn't really make an effort to. This perfect image you've always had of him... it's not the truth, son.'
'But you just said he was a good man!'
'He was... but even a good man has his bad points. Believe me, Kevin – you're not like him.'
'Are you saying I'm not a good man?'
'I'm saying... I'm saying you're a better man, son... and I'm very proud of you.'
'Oh, well...' said Kevin, looking at his feet again, 'I guess that's okay, then. Thanks, Dad.'
Before his father could say another word, Kevin slipped into his bedroom and closed the door behind him.
