Growing Up Fast

Kevin and the Gang: In-Between Episode 6: Growing Up Fast

Written by Rosey Collins

Lucy and Ella were walking to class together when they came across a group of four girls huddled around a locker, giggling over some photo booth pictures. A few yards away, Catherine and Stephanie were watching them. Lucy and Ella had no intention of joining in with any of it, but when Catherine saw them she scurried after them and said, 'You guys have boyfriends, don't you?'

'Yes,' said Ella.

'No,' said Lucy.

'You don't?' said Catherine, clearly puzzled. 'But I thought if a girl hung around with a guy a lot, they said they were boyfriend and girlfriend, even if they're kind of not really.'

'I don't think so,' said Lucy.

'She's judging you by those girls over there,' said Stephanie, flinging an arm around Catherine and ruffling her hair. 'They're silly girls, Kitty-Cat. And their “boyfriends” are silly boys.'

'Who're their boyfriends?' asked Ella. 'Besides Tom and Jas, obviously.'

'It's all the rest of Tom's friends,' said Stephanie. 'Sven and Rosie, Jools and Rollo, Dave and Georgia... I think.'

'I always thought Dave and Georgia should get together,' said Catherine. 'I'm glad.'

Lucy, looking thoroughly bored, said, 'Let's just get to homeroom, shall we?'

She pushed open the door, and was greeted by the spectacle of one of the boys standing on the teacher's desk waving a videotape around, and all the other boys laughing raucously at him.

'My mom's old VHS copy of Lethal Weapon Two!' the boy proclaimed.

'See, Cat?' said Stephanie. 'Silly boys.'

'You got that right,' said Lucy, taking a step towards Jandro, who was crying with laughter, and Kevin, who suddenly jumped up and grabbed the videotape from his classmate's hand.

'Dave's mom's old VHS copy of Lethal Weapon Two!' he exclaimed, and placed it on Michael's desk. 'Can Michael crush it?'

Ella began to look peeved.

'Wait, don't crush it!' another boy called. 'The girl gets her dirty pillows out in that!'

'It's okay, Sven,' said Dave. 'My mom has it on DVD now. You can pause it with a really clear image and zoom in on them!'

The three girls gave each other despairing looks, then made their way to the back of the classroom to four empty desks.

'Okay!' Michael said gleefully, then he stood up and began forcing his entire bodyweight onto the cassette.

'CRUSH! CRUSH! CRUSH!' the boys all chanted.

'What a bunch of Neanderthals!' Stephanie shouted over the din. 'If you ask me, it's a little soon to act so stupid after... well, after what happened.'

'Oh, I don't know,' said Lucy. 'Maybe we all need to remember to enjoy ourselves while we can.'

'That's them enjoying themselves?' said Catherine, wincing at the sound of the outer shell of the video cassette cracking to pieces, followed by a colossal cheer.

'I wish Michael wasn't so immature,' said Ella. 'I mean, he's not, really – he's just showing off in front of the other boys.'

'An old Victorian-looking pocket watch Chris found in the gutter!' shouted Kevin. 'Can Michael crush it?'

'Girls mature faster than boys,' said Catherine. 'Everybody knows that. It's too bad we can't hang around with some boys who are more mature.'

'Why can't we?' asked Stephanie. 'I heard some of the high-schoolers are having a party tonight. We could go to that and see if we can hook up with any mature boys.'

Lucy looked alarmed. 'What do you mean, hook up?'

'Well,' said Stephanie, 'just see if they'll hang out with us, I guess... enjoy some mature male company for a change.'

'Why would a bunch of high-schoolers let us into their party?' asked Catherine.

'Because we'll look like high-schoolers,' said Stephanie. 'We can use that make-up kit we got free with Cosmogirl last month.'

'I don't know,' said Lucy. 'That sounds kind of dangerous.'

'Why?' asked Ella.

'Well,' said Lucy, 'because if you go up to boys all covered with make-up and say you want to hang out with them, they'll think that means you want to have sex with them.'

'So what are you saying?' asked Ella. 'That putting on make-up gives boys the right to rape us?'

'Of course not,' said Lucy. 'I'm just saying, there are things you can do to protect yourself. It's like not leaving valuables on display in your car.'

'A woman has the right to display whatever she wants,' said Ella. 'If we get raped, it'll be all the fault of the rapists – not ours!'

'We'll still have been raped, though, won't we?' said Catherine.

'Jandro's sister's old elementary school badminton racquet!' came Kevin's voice. 'Can Michael crush it?'

'No one's going to rape us, Cat,' said Stephanie. 'There are things we can do to protect ourselves, like not go off into the bedrooms with them, and make sure our drinks aren't being spiked.'

'Even if that happened,' said Ella, 'it wouldn't be our fault.'

'No one's disagreeing with you, Ella,' said Stephanie. 'We're just saying, you can't trust a lot of horny teenaged boys so we have to put our trust in ourselves. So, are you in?'

'Sure,' said Ella. 'I mean, I have a boyfriend so I'm not looking for anything serious, but it could be fun. How about you, Luce?'

'To be honest, guys,' said Lucy, 'it sounds like the least fun I could possibly have tonight.'

'Yeah?' said Ella. 'So what're you gonna do with yourself – hang out with the boys?'

As she said this, a well-timed raucous laugh filled the room.

'It's Thursday,' said Lucy. 'I'll probably just do my homework, watch TV and then go to bed.'

'Jesus,' muttered Ella, as the boys' laughter died down and Mr Page came into the room.

After school, Stephanie took Catherine and Ella home with her. There was a car in the driveway from which were alighting her mother and younger brother. The brother looked suspiciously at Ella.

'Who are you?' he demanded.

'Don't be rude, Shawn,' his mother admonished. Then she smiled at Ella. 'Sorry, dear. It's just that Stephie doesn't bring home many people besides Catherine.'

'She doesn't bring home any people besides Catherine,' said Shawn.

'I'm Ella,' said Ella. 'It's nice to meet you, Mrs Sloane. You too, Shawn.'

'Whatever,' said Stephanie, looking peeved. 'We're going to a party tonight, Mom.'

'Party?' said her mother. 'I don't remember hearing about a party. Whose is it?'

'It's just some kids from school,' said Stephanie. 'Come on, you guys – let's get inside.'

She chivvied Ella and Catherine into the house and up the stairs, and finally into her bedroom, where she closed the door upon them fast. Catherine looked somewhat disconcerted.

'So,' she said, 'we're lying to our parents about this?'

'That wasn't a lie,' said Stephanie.

'It wasn't the whole truth,' said Catherine. 'You deliberately didn't say which half of the school.'

'Well,' said Stephanie, 'do you want to call your mom and tell her we're going to a party with a bunch of eleventh- and twelfth-graders?'

'No, I guess I don't,' said Catherine. 'Oh... maybe Lucy was right about this.'

'Lucy's so uptight,' said Stephanie. 'It's gonna be fun!'

'It is?' said Catherine.

'Of course it is,' said Stephanie. 'But... well, don't let me pressure you into it if you don't want to do it, Kitty-Cat. I can just go by myself with Ella.'

'No,' Catherine said at once. 'I want to go with you.'

'Okay!' said Stephanie. 'Now, where's that Cosmogirl make-up kit? And you'll both have to borrow some of my clothes, obviously.'

'What's wrong with what we're wearing now?' asked Catherine.

'It's not party-wear,' said Stephanie. 'Anyway, we want to look older, remember? More mature.'

'Ella already looks pretty mature,' said Catherine, looking at Ella's chest in her strappy top.

'I guess she does,' said Stephanie, turning to look at Ella. 'You've been quiet, Ella. You got any opinion on all this?'

'Not really,' said Ella. 'Let's just get on with it, shall we? Catherine and I can look through your closet while you go get us some snacks.'

'Ooh, I'd love a fruit cup,' Catherine said eagerly.

'Okay,' said Stephanie. 'I'll be right back.'

She left the room, and Ella flung open the double doors on the wardrobe. After a little rifling, she pulled out a short, low-cut red dress and said, 'This looks like the kind of thing we want.'

Catherine giggled. 'Getting your dirty pillows out, huh?'

'I guess I am,' said Ella. 'What's Stephanie doing with this, anyway? She doesn't normally wear cleavagey dresses, does she?'

'Sometimes she has a cleavage,' said Catherine, 'but that's something she sleeps in. Maybe it's officially supposed to be nightwear – I don't know. We've actually collected a lot of stuff over the years... just for messing around and dressing up for fun.' She looked a little embarrassed as she said this. 'I think there's some stuff in there that used to belong to my sister. Like, are her old girly shoes in there?'

'Er... yeah, well, someone's are,' said Ella, peering beyond the untidy pile of lace-up shoes and chunky boots at the bottom of Stephanie's wardrobe. She then turned and put the red dress on the end of Stephanie's bed, saying, 'I'll just put this over here. So, Catherine, what about you?'

'I can't get my dirty pillows out,' said Catherine. 'I don't have any.'

Ella grinned at her. 'Just a couple of little throw pillows, but that's okay. Anyway, I think you need something that shows off your legs. You have nice legs.'

'Ella!' Catherine giggled.

Ella turned back to the wardrobe and resumed her rifling. Then, 'This!' she said, pulling out a sleeveless pink top.

'That's just one of Stephie's casual shirts,' said Catherine. 'You're supposed to wear pants with that.'

'I don't see why,' said Ella, holding the garment against herself. The hem fell to a little above her mid-thigh.

'Ooh, I don't know...' Catherine demurred.

'Why the hell not? You wear short skirts in the summer.'

'It's not the summer now, though.'

'No,' Ella laughed. 'We may get a little cold.'

'Anyway,' Catherine went on, 'I don't know if I'd feel comfortable wearing that to this party, with make-up on and everything. Me and Stephie've never really done heavy make-up before, except just playing around. Normally we just wear foundation, lip gloss, blusher and maybe a little bit of mascara.'

'Well,' said Ella, 'you wear what you feel comfortable with, Catherine.'

Catherine looked at the long sleeveless top for a moment, then started to blush and said timidly, 'Do you really think I have nice legs?'

A few hours later, the three girls emerged from the house into the darkening evening, all of them wearing revealing clothing, thick layers of make-up and new hairstyles. Ella and Stephanie tottered along in high heels; Catherine had opted for a flat pair of sandals.

'Remember,' said Stephanie, 'if anything goes wrong, I have pads and tampons, tissues, safety pins and the Cosmogirl make-up kit in my purse.'

'What if something else goes wrong?' asked Catherine. 'Like, the kind of thing Lucy was worrying about?'

'That can't happen if we stick together,' said Stephanie.

'Well,' said Ella, 'you never know. We'd better have a safe word. So, like, if one of us seems to be having a great time talking to a guy, but he's actually trying to pressure us to feel inside his pants or something, we say the word and one of the other two says... I don't know... your grandma's just been taken to the hospital or something.'

'How does one of the other two know that?' asked Catherine.

'Never mind about that,' said Stephanie. 'What's this safe word going to be?'

'It has to be something that we're not going to casually slip into conversation,' said Ella. 'Like, um... ouija board.'

'That's two words,' said Catherine.

'Oh, don't be so pedantic,' snapped Ella.

'Anyway,' said Stephanie, 'they might have a ouija board. You never know what crazy things high-schoolers are gonna do at their parties. Then we'd have to say “ouija board”.'

'No we wouldn't,' said Ella. 'It'd sound really unnatural to sit down at someone else's ouija board and actually say “ouija board”. You'd just call it “the board”, wouldn't you?'

'I bet they don't get out a ouija board,' said Catherine.

'Okay,' said Ella. 'Then the safety... phrase is “ouija board”. Got it?'

'Got it,' said Catherine and Stephanie together.

The girls soon found themselves ringing the doorbell of a house that was emanating mood lighting and loud music. Someone answered the door and ushered them inside without a word. Ella and Stephanie exchanged triumphant looks. Catherine looked around at the people, then suddenly ducked behind Stephanie, exclaiming, 'Eek! Martin and Phoebe are here!'

'Oh, who cares?' said Ella. 'We'll just say we were invited. I mean, that guy let us in, didn't he?'

'Who is he, anyway?' asked Catherine. 'You knew where to come, Steph – whose house is this?'

'Huh?' said Stephanie, who was looking eagerly around. 'Oh... some guy named Andrew, I think.'

'Okay, cool,' said Ella. 'Andrew invited us. So... now what do we do?'

'Let's go to where everyone's dancing and bounce around a bit,' said Stephanie.

Ella nodded, and they made their way into Andrew's living room, where most of the furniture had been pushed against the wall. Catherine scuttled along timidly behind her two companions, and stood rigidly near them when they started dancing together to the nightclub music that was playing.

Stephanie laughed, and said, 'You really are bouncing around, Ella!'

Ella laughed too, and said, 'You're pretty bouncy yourself there, Steph!'

Catherine looked peeved for a moment, then glanced down at her legs and allowed herself a smile.

'Whoa, cool!' someone said. 'Who invited the lesbians?'

Ella stopped dancing, took a few steps towards the guy and balled her fists. Catherine grabbed her arm and said, 'Ella, don't! He's a lot bigger than you.'

The boy grinned at them and sloped off.

'So where are all these mature guys, anyway?' said Stephanie. 'Isn't that why we're here?'

'Yeah, it is,' said Ella, looking around. 'Oh, look – there's three guys who're checking us out. We'd better go talk to them.'

So saying, she sashayed across the room to the trio of boys by the snack table, and found herself stopping in front of the one who seemed most interested in her chest. The other two boys stepped forward; one approached Stephanie, and the other one flung his arm around Catherine.

'Um,' said Catherine, wriggling uncomfortably. 'Would you mind not doing that, please?'

'Sure thing, babe,' said the boy, taking his arm away. 'I don't think I've seen you around school, have I?'

'Um. I don't know,' said Catherine.

'What's your name?'

'Um. Catherine.'

'Cool,' said the boy. 'Catherine with a K or a C?'

'Um... a K,' said Catherine. 'And a Y and no Es.'

The boy laughed and said, 'Relax, babe – I wasn't gonna offer you any Es!'

Catherine frowned. 'I told you my name.'

'I know,' said the boy. 'I heard you. Jeez, babe, you need to lighten up.'

Catherine squeaked as the boy put his arm around her again. She looked at Ella, who was standing very close to her boy and batting her eyes at him, and at Stephanie, who was not particularly close to hers but talking to him amicably.

'Steph!' said Catherine. 'Ouija board! Ella! Ouija board, God damn it, ouija board!'

Ella and Stephanie both turned their heads to look at Catherine, just as the boy with his arm around her shouted loudly, 'Hear that, everyone? Kathryn wants to play with the ouija board! Who's in?'

Ella turned back to her boy and said, 'You mean, er... Andrew actually has a ouija board?'

'He didn't buy it for himself or anything,' said the boy. 'It's just, like, in his family or something. So, you wanna go upstairs and make out?'

'No thanks,' said Ella, taking a step back as he took a step forwards. 'I, um... I want to join in the seance.'

She turned and followed a group of about ten people through to the kitchen, checking on Catherine as she went. She saw Stephanie throwing the boy's arm off Catherine's shoulder, and putting her own arm around her instead. In the kitchen, people began sweeping empty bottles and food packets off the table just as Andrew came in with his ouija board.

'Oh, you guys!' he moaned. 'Now I'm gonna have to clean that up!'

'Quit complaining, Andy,' said another boy, throwing a handful of Cheetos at Andrew's head. 'Let's just do this, huh?'

Catherine made sure to stay sandwiched between Stephanie and Ella as they all arranged themselves around the ouija board on dining chairs and kitchen stools.

'Okay,' Stephanie whispered to the other two girls, 'so what the hell are we doing? Doesn't this kind of thing always end in somebody getting possessed or something?'

'Don't believe everything you see in the movies,' said Ella. 'They're just going to mess around and try to scare us. Nothing really bad ever happens with ouija boards in real life.'

Stephanie looked at her suspiciously. 'How do you know?'

'Well,' said Ella, 'you know I'm friends with Kevin, and his uncle is a Ghostbuster, and Kev's never said anything about ouija boards really causing ghost trouble.'

Stephanie looked doubtful as a few more people crowded into the group around the table.

'Okay,' said Andrew, 'everybody touch the thing.'

'Any girls who want can touch my thing!' said the boy who had been bothering Catherine, and the males in the company laughed raucously.

'Shut up, Ben – you're such a douche-bag,' said a girl.

'It's called a planchette,' Stephanie said pointedly.

'Right, right, right,' said Andrew. 'Okay, everybody just put one finger on the planchette.'

Everybody obeyed.

'Okay,' said Andrew, 'so... is there anybody there?'

There was a moment's pause in which everyone waited for someone else to take control of the planchette. Then someone did take control, and the planchette started moving. Stephanie gave a nervous squeak. Ella looked at her admonishingly.

Of course, the planchette ended up revealing the word Yes.

'Enjoying the party?' Andrew asked blithely.

The planchette moved to No.

'Dude!' said Andrew, grinning crookedly. 'Why not?'

This time, the planchette began to move towards the letters. Almost everyone in the group said each letter out loud as it was revealed: 'P... A... I... N.'

Ella gave a snort of derisive laughter.

'Are you in pain because of the party?' asked a girl – the one who had told Ben to shut up.

The planchette moved to No.

'Are you always in pain?' the girl asked.

The planchette moved to Yes.

'So, like, what happened to you?' asked a boy.

There was a moment's hesitation. Then the planchette moved, and people read the letters out loud. 'F... I... R... E.'

'Oh my God!' said the girl. 'You were killed by fire?'

The planchette moved to Yes.

'What happened?' asked somebody.

More letters were selected. 'T... O... O... space... C... R... U... E... L.'

'Jesus Christ,' muttered the girl. Then she asked aloud, 'Can we help you?'

The planchette moved to No. Catherine looked at Stephanie, and saw that she had started to shake.

This time, Ben asked the question. 'Where are you?' The planchette began to move straight away.

'W...' the group read. 'I... T... H... space... P... I... N... K... space...'

Then, for a moment, the planchette was moving towards D. It almost got there too, but stopped when Ben looked at Catherine in her pink dress and saw that she met his eyes with a steady gaze. Then suddenly the planchette changed its mind and jerked down to the bottom row of letters.

'P...' the group read, 'A... N... T... S.'

Andrew wrinkled his nose in confusion. 'With pink pants?'

Ben let out a sigh of exasperation, then the planchette moved again. 'G... I... R... L.'

Stephanie screamed, half climbed and half fell down from her kitchen stool, then ran to the back door and out into the night. Ben laughed. Catherine sat up abruptly, picked up the ouija board and threw it at Ben's head.

'Hey!' said Ben, putting up his arms to shield himself.

'What the fuck is wrong with you?' yelled Catherine, as the board clattered to the floor. 'You complete fucking moron!'

'Whoa! Catherine!' said Ella, half shocked and half admiring.

'We have to go get her,' said Catherine, grabbing Ella's wrist and taking her outside.

Andrew's back door led first to a small paved yard, then through a broken gate to a dingy alley full of trash cans. Stephanie was sitting on the dirty ground by one of these, shivering and crying. Catherine went and crouched next to her, put an arm around her and said gently, 'Are you shaking with cold or fear, Stephie-Bean?'

'Both,' said Stephanie, wiping her nose on her bare arm. Then she reconsidered. 'Well... I guess I'm not scared exactly. I mean, I kind of was a minute ago, but... it was that Ben guy, wasn't it?'

'Definitely,' said Catherine.

'But that just makes it worse!' said Stephanie. 'People really do die that way... and recently, too! It's no game!'

'Of course not,' Catherine said gently.

'This was a stupid idea,' said Ella, not the least bit gently. 'What the hell were we thinking? Come on – let's get out of here.'

She turned back towards Andrew's small backyard, and found herself bumping into Ben.

'Oh no,' she said. 'This is exactly what we said we wouldn't let happen! Get out of my way, Ben – we're going back in.'

'You are, huh?' said Ben, leaning against Andrew's broken gate. 'Look, I just wanted to check you guys were okay.'

'We're okay,' said Ella. 'You're the one who's not okay! You're sick! You are sick! You're a sick, sick person!'

'Babe, chill out,' said Ben. 'It was just a joke.'

'Some joke!' said Catherine, her voice shaking, her arm still around the trembling Stephanie.

'You guys,' Ella said over her shoulder, 'I'll handle this.' She turned back to Ben. 'Let us back inside.'

'Not so fast,' said Ben. 'I need to know what you're going to say when you get in there.'

'Say?' said Ella, with a contemptuous curl of the lip. 'Say to who?'

'To my friends,' said Ben. 'They're worried I freaked out your friend. Especially Nina. She thinks I was acting like a jerk or something – I don't know, whatever. But you'll tell her it's cool, right?'

'Er... no,' said Ella.

In the dim light of the alley, the girls could see Ben's face forming into a scowl.

'Now listen...' he said, grabbing Ella's elbow, and the moment he did so she slammed her knee into his balls. He doubled over in pain, and when Stephanie whacked him round the head with her handbag he fell all the way down to his knees, then slumped forward until his head almost touched the ground.

'Oh my God, you knocked him unconscious!' cried Catherine.

'No she didn't,' said Ella, grabbing an arm of each of her companions and chivvying them down the alley. She watched Ben over her shoulder and saw that he was rapidly rising to his feet, a look of fury on his face.

'Oh my God, oh my God!' squealed Catherine, as they emerged onto a dark and deserted street. 'He is going to rape us!'

'No he –' Ella began, but stopped when she saw that Ben did indeed intend to pursue them. She increased her speed, forcing the others along in front of her, and they ran unsteadily until Ella and Stephanie both fell over on their high heels.

Catherine stood over them, looking anxiously around as Ella and Stephanie both pulled off their shoes, then rose groaning back onto their feet.

'I don't see him,' said Catherine. 'I'd say let's go home, but I don't know where we are.'

'We can't have come too far,' said Ella, 'but I don't think it'd be a good idea stumbling around in the dark trying to find our way back to Andrew's house. We'd only get ourselves even more lost.'

'Right,' said Catherine. 'And we'd probably get arrested for looking like prostitutes.'

'Hey!' said Ella. 'We look like confident, attractive women. Which is what we are.'

'We'll have to call someone,' said Stephanie, fishing around in her handbag. 'But who?'

Meanwhile Lucy, Kevin and Jandro had all got together and were playing cards at Lucy's kitchen table. Her brother John stood nearby, piercing the lid of a microwavable meal.

'I'm heating up this beef stew for myself,' he announced. 'What are you guys gonna have?'

'I don't know,' said Lucy. 'Are there any more microwave meals?'

'No,' said John, 'this is the last one.'

'We should've gone to Kev's,' said Jandro. 'His mom can always produce a delicious meal for up to six hungry kids at a moment's notice.'

'I'll see if I can find some money for a pizza,' said Lucy, standing up and making her way out into the hallway. As she did so, the telephone rang, and she could be heard to answer it.

'If you want to go to Kevin's,' said John, 'I could run you guys there in my car.'

'Really?' said Kevin. 'Wow, John, that's really nice of you.'

'I haven't put my beef stew in the microwave yet,' said John, 'so I don't mind.'

Just as he finished saying this, Lucy's voice came wafting in from the hallway, saying shrilly, 'I told you something like this would happen! You're lucky I'm home, you know – we might've gone to Jandro's or Kev's! ... No, actually, my parents aren't here!'

Kevin, Jandro and John exchanged puzzled looks, then strained their ears to listen as Lucy lowered her voice to normal level.

'I'll ask my brother to do it,' she said. 'Well, I'll have to, won't I? Otherwise you'll get picked up by the police or raped or something! ... I didn't say it'd be your fault, Ella! So, where are you? … Jesus Christ! Well, can you find a street sign or something? … Okay, we'll find you.'

With that she put down the phone, then wandered back into the kitchen looking worried.

'John,' she said, 'could you do me a huge favour? See, Ella and two other girls in our class have been to this high school party...'

Ella, Catherine and Stephanie were shivering on a street corner when John's car arrived. Lucy, sitting in the front, reached behind her and opened a back door for them; they all piled in gratefully.

'Hi, guys,' said Lucy. 'Look, I'm really sorry I said I told you so.'

'Well,' said Catherine, 'you did tell us so.'

'I did, huh?' said Lucy. 'What happened exactly?'

'Let's talk and drive,' said John. 'Where do you guys want me to drop you off?'

'Three separate places, I guess,' said Lucy.

'No, I'm spending the night with Stephanie,' said Catherine.

'I'm not,' said Ella. 'Let's go to my place first, since John knows where that is.'

'Okay,' said John, about to pull away from the kerb, when suddenly somebody tapped on the window. John looked round, and found himself staring into the face of a police officer. With a sigh of exasperation, he opened the window.

'Now, what's going on here?' the police officer demanded.

'I'm just driving some girls home from a party, officer,' said John.

The police officer looked suspicious. 'Did I just see you take three prostitutes into your car?'

'We're not prostitutes!' said Ella.

'They're not, sir,' said John. 'They're friends of my sister's.'

'Hi,' said Lucy, leaning forward to show the police officer her conservative state of dress and lack of make-up.

The officer looked at the trio in the back of the car. 'Why were you girls standing around on the street corner?'

'We were just waiting to be picked up,' said Catherine. 'I mean... waiting for our friend's brother to get here and drive us home.'

'You should've stayed inside until he got here,' said the officer. 'Do you know what can happen to girls walking around by themselves? Especially if you're dressed like that.'

'Oh, I am so sick of this!' said Ella. 'If I'd happened to get sexually assaulted tonight, would you let the guy off because he was hypnotised by my cleavage and couldn't be held responsible?'

'That's not up to me, miss,' the police officer said. Then he looked at John. 'You just get them home safe, okay?'

'Will do, officer,' said John, smiling politely. Then the smile dropped as he closed the window and the police officer walked away.

'Thanks for doing this, man,' said Stephanie. 'Sorry you almost got arrested for solicitation.'

'Oh, I don't think it was as close as that,' said John. 'Now let's get the hell outta here!'

The next morning, as Ella walked towards the school gates, she found herself suddenly being flanked by Jandro and Kevin.

'What happened?' asked Kevin. 'Lucy wouldn't tell us what happened. Will you tell us what happened? We wanna know what happened.'

'It was hardly anything,' said Ella. 'We just ran out of the party and got lost.'

'Why?' asked Jandro. 'Were you getting felt up or something?'

Ella scowled at him. 'No.'

'Well,' said Jandro, 'what, then?'

'Stephanie got scared by a oujia board,' said Ella. 'O-kay?'

Just then she caught sight of Catherine and Stephanie, and put on a burst of speed to catch up with them. Kevin and Jandro were left looking at each other in bewilderment.

'Hey,' Ella said, when she reached the other two girls. 'How are you feeling this morning?'

'Like an idiot,' said Stephanie.

'Still,' said Catherine, 'it was an experience, wasn't it? I mean, now we know, don't we?'

'I guess that's one way of looking at it,' said Ella. Then she suddenly clutched Stephanie's arm, pointed to the high school across the road and said, 'Oh my God – that's Ben!'

'So the hell what?' said Stephanie. 'I never wanna see that guy again!'

'Yeah?' said Ella. 'Well, I want to talk to him!'

So saying, she dropped Stephanie's arm and marched across the road, almost getting run over by a woman who had just dropped off her daughter at the school gates.

'Hey, you!' said Ella.

Ben watched her impassively as she marched up to him.

'I got a question for you,' said Ella.

'Yeah?' said Ben.

'Yeah! What exactly were you planning to do to me and my friends if you caught us?'

'What the hell are you talking about?' said Ben. 'I don't know you, kid.'

'Oh yes you do,' said Ella. 'I'm the girl who kneed you in the balls last night.'

'No you're not,' said Ben.

'Yes I am!' said Ella, and to prove it she scrunched up her hair in her hands and thrust her chest out at him.

'Oh,' said Ben, looking down her top. 'Okay, I guess I believe you. Y'know, you were a lot hotter with your make-up on and your boobs pushed up.'

'I asked you a question,' said Ella.

'I wasn't gonna do anything to you,' said Ben. 'I just wanted to make sure you got back to the party okay. I knew Nina'd think it was my fault if you got yourselves lost or something and she'd be mad at me. She was mad at me! And those two eleventh-grade nerds who were hanging around were even worse – they wanted to call the police!'

'Two eleventh-grade nerds?' said Ella. 'Wait – you mean Martin and Phoebe?'

'Yeah, I think that's their names.'

'Martin and Phoebe wanted to call the police?'

'That's what they were saying.'

'And... did they call the police?'

'I don't know – I don't really give a fuck,' said Ben. 'So, do you maybe wanna get a coffee with me after school? Your friend Kathryn has better legs, but you're okay too.'

For the second time in twelve hours, Ella kneed Ben in the testicles. She then turned her back on him as he bent over, clutching himself and writhing and moaning, and walked back across the road to her own school with her head held high.

Again Ella, Catherine and Stephanie walked into homeroom together. This time everyone was sitting in their usual friendship groups, talking quietly and generally behaving themselves. The three girls exchanged a significant look. Then Stephanie reached into her bag and pulled something out.

'The Cosmogirl make-up kit!' she said loudly. 'Can Michael crush it?'

Most of the class pricked up their ears in interest. Ella took the make-up kit from Stephanie, marched over to Michael's desk with it and placed it in front of him. Michael grinned at her, stood up, flexed his fingers and then began bearing down on the box with his entire bodyweight. Within seconds, the cheap plastic began to crack. The box broke into a dozen pieces; lipstick shells were snapped and their innards squashed onto Michael's hands; pastel-coloured powders flew around the room, choking the people nearby.

Then suddenly, before Michael could withdraw his weight, the legs of his desk gave way and the entire structure collapsed. All the other boys in the class laughed. So did some of the girls. Michael stared aghast at the heap of wood at his feet, blinking stupidly through the pink powder that was flying around his face. Ella grinned, grabbed him by the scruff of his jacket and kissed him passionately. Then Mr Page came into the room and took in the scene at a glance.

'That is it!' he said. 'I am sick of this class's ridiculous games! You've all got detention!'