Eduardo and Kylie's European Vacation Episode 5: Logroño
Written by Rosey Collins
It was just beginning to get dark when Eduardo, Kylie and two other women came bursting out of a tapas bar, laughing. They walked down the street a few steps, then made their way into another tapas bar and sat down at an empty table.
'Okay,' said one of the women, in an Australian accent, 'who's got the scoring sheet?'
'Here it is, Steph,' said Kylie, producing a large piece of card from her bag. On one side was a lot of scribble in ballpoint pen, and on the other the famous green, red and yellow rooster logo and the words Keloc's CON FLEIS. 'What did everyone think of the dessert tapas?'
'Really weird,' said Steph. 'Not nice, but not exactly unpleasant. Four.'
'It was an abomination on tapas,' said Eduardo. 'One!'
'I thought it was all right,' said the other woman, also Australian. 'Six.'
'Caroline, you weirdo!' said Kylie, as she scribbled the numbers onto the cereal box fragment. 'The rest of us thought it was ridiculous. I'm giving it three. So that puts it one place from the bottom, just above oyster and lemon.'
'What's the specialist flavour in this place?' asked Steph.
'Oh, I know!' said Caroline, lunging at a menu and pointing to one of the words. 'Chorizo!'
'Uh-oh,' said Kylie.
'What?' said Steph, giggling stupidly.
'Caroline said “chorittso”!' Kylie crowed. 'Now Eduardo's gonna hulk out!'
'I am not gonna hulk out!' Eduardo laughed.
'What have I done wrong?' said Caroline.
'You mispronounced chorizo,' said Kylie.
'That's right, Caroline, you did,' said Eduardo. 'You hear the way Kylie said it?'
'Chorrrrr-eeth-o!' said Kylie, putting her face uncomfortably close to Caroline's. Caroline laughed and shoved her away.
'Good girl, Ky,' said Eduardo, catching Kylie as she almost fell off her chair. 'It's a Spanish word – why do so many people pronounce it like it's Italian? That's one thing I like about this country: they know how to say chorizo.'
'Ooh, Eduardo, say it again,' said Steph, leaning towards him with her chin on her hand.
'Hey, back off,' Kylie giggled, giving Steph a kick under the table.
'Ow!' said Steph, laughing raucously, just as a young waitress approached their table with her pencil and notebook poised and an enquiring smile on her face.
'Buenas tardes,' she said. 'Desea pedier?'
'Sí, gracias, señorita,' said Eduardo. 'Tapas de chorizo para cuatro, por favor, y algunas salsas para mojar. Tu elección. Y una botella de agua.'
'Sí, señor.'
'You were so flirting with her,' said Caroline, as the waitress walked off.
'I was not!' Eduardo said indignantly.
'You told her to elect the dipping sauces,' said Caroline.
'I've been saying that to all the wait staff,' said Eduardo. 'Just 'cause she's the only one we've had who's a pretty girl doesn't make it flirting.'
'So you think she's pretty!' Steph joined in.
'I'm allowed to think people are pretty,' said Eduardo. 'It doesn't mean I'm thinking anything else about them.'
'Of course it doesn't,' said Kylie, cuddling up to him. 'I know I have nothing to worry about.'
'Anyway,' said Eduardo, 'if you can understand what I'm saying, why am I doing all the talking?'
'I can't understand every word,' said Caroline, 'and when I do, I'm just figuring it out as I go. I never would've thought of actually saying any of that. Except maybe tapas and chori... choreeeetho.'
'What were you gonna do if you couldn't find someone who spoke English and Spanish?' asked Eduardo.
'Hey, there's other English-and-Spanish-speakers in the hostel,' said Caroline. 'If it wasn't you, it would've been one of them.'
'Yeah,' said Steph, laughing. 'You're not so special.'
'Okay,' said Kylie, 'if that's how you feel, we'll ditch you after the tapas contest. But you have to stay for this last one so the results aren't corrupted.'
'Who's winning so far?' asked Caroline.
'Um,' said Kylie, running her eye down the score sheet. 'Scrambled egg.'
'Scrambled egg!' said Eduardo. 'That was so stupid! How is it winning?'
'The rest of us loved it,' said Steph.
'You only like the boring tapas, sweetie,' said Kylie.
'If you mean the traditional tapas...' said Eduardo.
'Like I said,' Kylie grinned at him, 'the boring tapas.'
'Oh yeah?' said Eduardo. 'Well, let's see how cocky you are when you've tried the chorizo. Think it'll be as hot as the stuff I use?'
'Sweetie,' said Kylie, 'there's nothing hotter than your hot Mexican sausage.'
Caroline and Steph started giggling.
'I honestly didn't see that coming,' said Eduardo.
'And I can handle it too, babe, can't I?' said Kylie.
'Just about,' said Eduardo, 'if you have a nice big puddle of dipping sauce to temper it.'
Caroline and Steph's giggles exploded into cackles of laughter.
'What?' Eduardo said innocently.
'Anyone'd think we were drunk,' said Kylie, giggling a little herself.
'Well,' said Eduardo, 'you and I did have a little. And these two've had quite a lot, really.'
'We have not had a lot!' said Steph. 'Australians need beer – we've had exactly the right amount.'
They went on laughing and being silly together until their tapas, dipping sauces and water arrived. The waitress spoke to Eduardo about the sauces, sweeping her hand over the crescent-shaped arrangement, then left with a smile when he nodded and said, 'Gracias.'
'What did she say?' demanded Caroline.
'She said they're arranged in order from the mildest to the spiciest,' said Eduardo. 'But we'll all have some tapas neat first, okay?'
'Okay,' the three women agreed, and they each took a piece of tapas, bracing themselves before they ate it while Eduardo started on his with a deliberately casual air.
'What the hell is that?' he said, after he'd swallowed a mouthful.
'It has a pleasant tang to it,' said Caroline.
'Not exactly what you might call hot, though,' said Steph.
'It has nothing on your hot Mexican sausage, sweetie,' said Kylie.
'How can they call this chorizo?' said Eduardo, looking around for the waitress. When he saw her, he waved to her, and she came smilingly over to him. 'Qué hay en este chorizo, por favor?' he asked.
The waitress answered in a stream of Spanish, then asked, 'Hay algo mal?'
Eduardo shook his head. 'Está bien, gracias.'
The waitress smiled in satisfaction, and walked off again.
'You wouldn't say it was bien if she wasn't a pretty girl,' said Steph.
'Sure I would,' said Eduardo, dipping a piece of tapas into the last sauce at the spicy end of the crescent. 'It is fine – just not what I'm used to. She said they use paprika, which is made from regular peppers. You know, those big, boring sweet ones.'
'Bell peppers,' said Caroline.
'As opposed to...?' said Steph.
'Chilli peppers, of course,' said Eduardo. 'And we don't put wine in ours either. That's instead of the vinegar, maybe?'
'Vino blanco,' said Kylie. 'I heard that. Why do these Europeans have to put booze in everything?'
'So what do you think, Kylie?' said Steph. 'This stuff's not a patch on Eduardo's hot Mexican sausage, right?'
'Wouldn't you like to know,' said Kylie, then she dipped her piece of tapas in the middle of the sauce crescent and took another bite. 'Seriously though, it's different from Eduardo's, but it's not bad.'
'It's chorizo for wimps,' said Eduardo. 'And that's dipping sauce for wimps.'
'It's nice,' said Kylie.
'C'mon, babe, you're no wuss,' said Eduardo, and he dipped yet another piece of tapas into the hottest sauce. 'Try some of this.'
'I don't know,' said Kylie, leaning away as he waved the tapas playfully in front of her face.
'It's not that hot,' said Eduardo.
Kylie looked sceptical. 'Are you sure about that?'
'Just try it,' said Eduardo. 'Here comes the choo-choo train!'
'That won't work,' said Kylie, laughing and slapping his hand away. 'I'm not that much into trains.'
'The bus from Paris, then,' said Eduardo, 'going through the Pyrenees. Open up the Somport Road Tunnel, Ky!'
Kylie giggled, opened her mouth and allowed Eduardo to feed her. As they went through this little performance, Caroline and Steph exchanged looks of mock disgust. Kylie chewed for several seconds, then suddenly said, 'Oh my God!' and lunged for the bottle of water. Caroline and Steph started laughing.
'You knew that'd be too hot for me!' said Kylie, once she had recovered the power of speech, dribbling water down her chin, laughing and smacking Eduardo on the arm all at once.
'It's not that hot!' Eduardo said defensively.
'Let's see, shall we?' said Caroline, taking a piece of tapas and dipping it into the hottest sauce. She chewed it experimentally, then gave a little cough and took a sip of water.
'It's pretty hot, mate,' she said.
'You can handle it, though,' said Eduardo.
'But can Steph?' said Kylie. 'Come on, Steph – the rest of us have tried it.'
'I don't really like hot stuff,' said Steph.
Caroline laughed. 'You don't, huh?'
'You know I don't,' said Steph.
'Oh, come on,' said Caroline, dipping some more tapas into the hot sauce, then holding it in front of Steph's firmly closed mouth. 'Open up the Melba Tunnel, Steph!'
'I said I don't want any!' snapped Steph, so sharply that it dispelled the mood completely. Caroline looked stricken, and her hand dropped limply onto the table.
'I'm sorry, Steph,' she said meekly.
'I have to go to the bathroom,' said Steph, and went.
There was an awkward silence. Then Caroline gave a forced laugh, and said, 'Guess I shouldn't try to copy you guys, huh?'
'I didn't even really think Kylie'd go for it,' said Eduardo. 'We don't normally... y'know... feed each other.'
'It's the kind of thing that's really annoying when other couples do it,' said Kylie. 'I guess we just got caught up in all the silliness.'
'Of course,' said Caroline, 'it's a couple thing, isn't it?'
'Usually,' said Kylie. 'But it could be a friend thing too, I guess. Anyway, shall we start scoring this tapas? I like it okay, but the chorizo Eduardo cooks with is better.'
'Yeah?' said Caroline. 'Sure it's not too hot to handle?'
'He makes it just how I like it,' said Kylie, stroking Eduardo's cheek with her left hand and adding to the score sheet with her right. 'I've given this one six. What's your score, sweetie?'
'I'll say six as well,' said Eduardo. 'It's not what I was expecting, but it's okay.'
'I'll give it seven,' said Caroline, just as Steph came shuffling back from the bathroom. 'Hey, Steph, how do you score this chorizo tapas?'
'Eight,' said Steph, sliding into her seat.
'In that case,' said Kylie, 'it just beats the scrambled egg. But only because Eduardo was so mean about that one.'
'Hey, so I didn't like it,' said Eduardo. 'I don't have to like it.'
'Scrambled egg has a higher median and mode,' said Kylie.
'But wimp's chorizo wins with the highest mean,' said Eduardo. 'Them's the rules, Ky.'
'Are we done, then?' said Steph.
'This is the last place on the list,' said Kylie. 'I mean, there are other tapas bars, but they're not so specialist.'
'Better call it a day, then,' said Steph. 'I don't feel like going on anywhere else.'
'Me neither,' said Kylie, stroking Eduardo's knee under the table. 'Sweetie, you'd better get your girlfriend back over here and we'll settle the bill.'
'Okay,' said one of the women, in an Australian accent, 'who's got the scoring sheet?'
'Here it is, Steph,' said Kylie, producing a large piece of card from her bag. On one side was a lot of scribble in ballpoint pen, and on the other the famous green, red and yellow rooster logo and the words Keloc's CON FLEIS. 'What did everyone think of the dessert tapas?'
'Really weird,' said Steph. 'Not nice, but not exactly unpleasant. Four.'
'It was an abomination on tapas,' said Eduardo. 'One!'
'I thought it was all right,' said the other woman, also Australian. 'Six.'
'Caroline, you weirdo!' said Kylie, as she scribbled the numbers onto the cereal box fragment. 'The rest of us thought it was ridiculous. I'm giving it three. So that puts it one place from the bottom, just above oyster and lemon.'
'What's the specialist flavour in this place?' asked Steph.
'Oh, I know!' said Caroline, lunging at a menu and pointing to one of the words. 'Chorizo!'
'Uh-oh,' said Kylie.
'What?' said Steph, giggling stupidly.
'Caroline said “chorittso”!' Kylie crowed. 'Now Eduardo's gonna hulk out!'
'I am not gonna hulk out!' Eduardo laughed.
'What have I done wrong?' said Caroline.
'You mispronounced chorizo,' said Kylie.
'That's right, Caroline, you did,' said Eduardo. 'You hear the way Kylie said it?'
'Chorrrrr-eeth-o!' said Kylie, putting her face uncomfortably close to Caroline's. Caroline laughed and shoved her away.
'Good girl, Ky,' said Eduardo, catching Kylie as she almost fell off her chair. 'It's a Spanish word – why do so many people pronounce it like it's Italian? That's one thing I like about this country: they know how to say chorizo.'
'Ooh, Eduardo, say it again,' said Steph, leaning towards him with her chin on her hand.
'Hey, back off,' Kylie giggled, giving Steph a kick under the table.
'Ow!' said Steph, laughing raucously, just as a young waitress approached their table with her pencil and notebook poised and an enquiring smile on her face.
'Buenas tardes,' she said. 'Desea pedier?'
'Sí, gracias, señorita,' said Eduardo. 'Tapas de chorizo para cuatro, por favor, y algunas salsas para mojar. Tu elección. Y una botella de agua.'
'Sí, señor.'
'You were so flirting with her,' said Caroline, as the waitress walked off.
'I was not!' Eduardo said indignantly.
'You told her to elect the dipping sauces,' said Caroline.
'I've been saying that to all the wait staff,' said Eduardo. 'Just 'cause she's the only one we've had who's a pretty girl doesn't make it flirting.'
'So you think she's pretty!' Steph joined in.
'I'm allowed to think people are pretty,' said Eduardo. 'It doesn't mean I'm thinking anything else about them.'
'Of course it doesn't,' said Kylie, cuddling up to him. 'I know I have nothing to worry about.'
'Anyway,' said Eduardo, 'if you can understand what I'm saying, why am I doing all the talking?'
'I can't understand every word,' said Caroline, 'and when I do, I'm just figuring it out as I go. I never would've thought of actually saying any of that. Except maybe tapas and chori... choreeeetho.'
'What were you gonna do if you couldn't find someone who spoke English and Spanish?' asked Eduardo.
'Hey, there's other English-and-Spanish-speakers in the hostel,' said Caroline. 'If it wasn't you, it would've been one of them.'
'Yeah,' said Steph, laughing. 'You're not so special.'
'Okay,' said Kylie, 'if that's how you feel, we'll ditch you after the tapas contest. But you have to stay for this last one so the results aren't corrupted.'
'Who's winning so far?' asked Caroline.
'Um,' said Kylie, running her eye down the score sheet. 'Scrambled egg.'
'Scrambled egg!' said Eduardo. 'That was so stupid! How is it winning?'
'The rest of us loved it,' said Steph.
'You only like the boring tapas, sweetie,' said Kylie.
'If you mean the traditional tapas...' said Eduardo.
'Like I said,' Kylie grinned at him, 'the boring tapas.'
'Oh yeah?' said Eduardo. 'Well, let's see how cocky you are when you've tried the chorizo. Think it'll be as hot as the stuff I use?'
'Sweetie,' said Kylie, 'there's nothing hotter than your hot Mexican sausage.'
Caroline and Steph started giggling.
'I honestly didn't see that coming,' said Eduardo.
'And I can handle it too, babe, can't I?' said Kylie.
'Just about,' said Eduardo, 'if you have a nice big puddle of dipping sauce to temper it.'
Caroline and Steph's giggles exploded into cackles of laughter.
'What?' Eduardo said innocently.
'Anyone'd think we were drunk,' said Kylie, giggling a little herself.
'Well,' said Eduardo, 'you and I did have a little. And these two've had quite a lot, really.'
'We have not had a lot!' said Steph. 'Australians need beer – we've had exactly the right amount.'
They went on laughing and being silly together until their tapas, dipping sauces and water arrived. The waitress spoke to Eduardo about the sauces, sweeping her hand over the crescent-shaped arrangement, then left with a smile when he nodded and said, 'Gracias.'
'What did she say?' demanded Caroline.
'She said they're arranged in order from the mildest to the spiciest,' said Eduardo. 'But we'll all have some tapas neat first, okay?'
'Okay,' the three women agreed, and they each took a piece of tapas, bracing themselves before they ate it while Eduardo started on his with a deliberately casual air.
'What the hell is that?' he said, after he'd swallowed a mouthful.
'It has a pleasant tang to it,' said Caroline.
'Not exactly what you might call hot, though,' said Steph.
'It has nothing on your hot Mexican sausage, sweetie,' said Kylie.
'How can they call this chorizo?' said Eduardo, looking around for the waitress. When he saw her, he waved to her, and she came smilingly over to him. 'Qué hay en este chorizo, por favor?' he asked.
The waitress answered in a stream of Spanish, then asked, 'Hay algo mal?'
Eduardo shook his head. 'Está bien, gracias.'
The waitress smiled in satisfaction, and walked off again.
'You wouldn't say it was bien if she wasn't a pretty girl,' said Steph.
'Sure I would,' said Eduardo, dipping a piece of tapas into the last sauce at the spicy end of the crescent. 'It is fine – just not what I'm used to. She said they use paprika, which is made from regular peppers. You know, those big, boring sweet ones.'
'Bell peppers,' said Caroline.
'As opposed to...?' said Steph.
'Chilli peppers, of course,' said Eduardo. 'And we don't put wine in ours either. That's instead of the vinegar, maybe?'
'Vino blanco,' said Kylie. 'I heard that. Why do these Europeans have to put booze in everything?'
'So what do you think, Kylie?' said Steph. 'This stuff's not a patch on Eduardo's hot Mexican sausage, right?'
'Wouldn't you like to know,' said Kylie, then she dipped her piece of tapas in the middle of the sauce crescent and took another bite. 'Seriously though, it's different from Eduardo's, but it's not bad.'
'It's chorizo for wimps,' said Eduardo. 'And that's dipping sauce for wimps.'
'It's nice,' said Kylie.
'C'mon, babe, you're no wuss,' said Eduardo, and he dipped yet another piece of tapas into the hottest sauce. 'Try some of this.'
'I don't know,' said Kylie, leaning away as he waved the tapas playfully in front of her face.
'It's not that hot,' said Eduardo.
Kylie looked sceptical. 'Are you sure about that?'
'Just try it,' said Eduardo. 'Here comes the choo-choo train!'
'That won't work,' said Kylie, laughing and slapping his hand away. 'I'm not that much into trains.'
'The bus from Paris, then,' said Eduardo, 'going through the Pyrenees. Open up the Somport Road Tunnel, Ky!'
Kylie giggled, opened her mouth and allowed Eduardo to feed her. As they went through this little performance, Caroline and Steph exchanged looks of mock disgust. Kylie chewed for several seconds, then suddenly said, 'Oh my God!' and lunged for the bottle of water. Caroline and Steph started laughing.
'You knew that'd be too hot for me!' said Kylie, once she had recovered the power of speech, dribbling water down her chin, laughing and smacking Eduardo on the arm all at once.
'It's not that hot!' Eduardo said defensively.
'Let's see, shall we?' said Caroline, taking a piece of tapas and dipping it into the hottest sauce. She chewed it experimentally, then gave a little cough and took a sip of water.
'It's pretty hot, mate,' she said.
'You can handle it, though,' said Eduardo.
'But can Steph?' said Kylie. 'Come on, Steph – the rest of us have tried it.'
'I don't really like hot stuff,' said Steph.
Caroline laughed. 'You don't, huh?'
'You know I don't,' said Steph.
'Oh, come on,' said Caroline, dipping some more tapas into the hot sauce, then holding it in front of Steph's firmly closed mouth. 'Open up the Melba Tunnel, Steph!'
'I said I don't want any!' snapped Steph, so sharply that it dispelled the mood completely. Caroline looked stricken, and her hand dropped limply onto the table.
'I'm sorry, Steph,' she said meekly.
'I have to go to the bathroom,' said Steph, and went.
There was an awkward silence. Then Caroline gave a forced laugh, and said, 'Guess I shouldn't try to copy you guys, huh?'
'I didn't even really think Kylie'd go for it,' said Eduardo. 'We don't normally... y'know... feed each other.'
'It's the kind of thing that's really annoying when other couples do it,' said Kylie. 'I guess we just got caught up in all the silliness.'
'Of course,' said Caroline, 'it's a couple thing, isn't it?'
'Usually,' said Kylie. 'But it could be a friend thing too, I guess. Anyway, shall we start scoring this tapas? I like it okay, but the chorizo Eduardo cooks with is better.'
'Yeah?' said Caroline. 'Sure it's not too hot to handle?'
'He makes it just how I like it,' said Kylie, stroking Eduardo's cheek with her left hand and adding to the score sheet with her right. 'I've given this one six. What's your score, sweetie?'
'I'll say six as well,' said Eduardo. 'It's not what I was expecting, but it's okay.'
'I'll give it seven,' said Caroline, just as Steph came shuffling back from the bathroom. 'Hey, Steph, how do you score this chorizo tapas?'
'Eight,' said Steph, sliding into her seat.
'In that case,' said Kylie, 'it just beats the scrambled egg. But only because Eduardo was so mean about that one.'
'Hey, so I didn't like it,' said Eduardo. 'I don't have to like it.'
'Scrambled egg has a higher median and mode,' said Kylie.
'But wimp's chorizo wins with the highest mean,' said Eduardo. 'Them's the rules, Ky.'
'Are we done, then?' said Steph.
'This is the last place on the list,' said Kylie. 'I mean, there are other tapas bars, but they're not so specialist.'
'Better call it a day, then,' said Steph. 'I don't feel like going on anywhere else.'
'Me neither,' said Kylie, stroking Eduardo's knee under the table. 'Sweetie, you'd better get your girlfriend back over here and we'll settle the bill.'
The next morning, Eduardo was woken by Kylie nibbling on his ear. He turned over and wrapped his arms around her, but didn't open his eyes.
'Don't go back to sleep,' said Kylie, pinching him playfully on the chest. 'I want to make love again.'
'I'll have to go to the bathroom first,' he murmured.
'Go on then.'
'In a minute.'
'Oh!'
Kylie gave him a shove, and he rolled onto his back. She climbed over him to get out of bed, picked his T-shirt up from the floor and put it on, then picked up his jeans and threw them at him.
'I have to go too,' she said. 'Don't keep me waiting when I come back.'
She left Eduardo crawling out of bed, and went to the women's shower room and toilets at the end of the corridor. As she was coming out, she met Steph in the doorway.
'Oh, hi,' said Kylie. 'Do you guys want to hang out again today?'
'I don't know,' said Steph. 'I was thinking of just hanging out here for a while.'
'Really? Weird thing to do when you've come all the way from Australia.'
'Yeah, well, that's up to me, isn't it?'
'Of course,' said Kylie. She sidled past Steph in the doorway, then made her way back to her room, looking puzzled.
Eduardo was walking down the corridor from the men's room at the other end. When he reached their bedroom door, he walked past it to take Kylie into his arms and kiss her deeply.
'I'm all ready for you now, querida,' he said.
'Oh yes?' said Kylie. 'I might've changed my mind.'
'I don't think so,' he said, and began to kiss her neck, which caused her to close her eyes and make small sounds of approval.
A few seconds later, a door slammed loudly, and they broke apart to see Caroline holding a towel and a sponge bag, looking at them with deep disapproval.
'Did you guys pay for a room or not?' she said.
'Good point,' said Kylie, pushing Eduardo gently away from her. 'Shall we spend the day together again, Caroline? I mean, it was fun yesterday, wasn't it?'
'Yeah, it was,' said Caroline. 'But that was yesterday.'
'I just saw Steph,' said Kylie. 'She said she was thinking of just hanging out here today.'
'Maybe she's sick or something,' said Caroline. 'I'd better leave her alone... maybe hang out with you guys, if you really don't mind. Was she going to the bathroom down the corridor?'
'Yes,' said Kylie.
'Right,' said Caroline, and promptly made her way to the staircase opposite the men's showers.
'What is with them?' asked Kylie, watching as Caroline began to ascend the stairs.
'Who cares?' said Eduardo, taking both her hands in his and pulling her towards their door.
'Don't go back to sleep,' said Kylie, pinching him playfully on the chest. 'I want to make love again.'
'I'll have to go to the bathroom first,' he murmured.
'Go on then.'
'In a minute.'
'Oh!'
Kylie gave him a shove, and he rolled onto his back. She climbed over him to get out of bed, picked his T-shirt up from the floor and put it on, then picked up his jeans and threw them at him.
'I have to go too,' she said. 'Don't keep me waiting when I come back.'
She left Eduardo crawling out of bed, and went to the women's shower room and toilets at the end of the corridor. As she was coming out, she met Steph in the doorway.
'Oh, hi,' said Kylie. 'Do you guys want to hang out again today?'
'I don't know,' said Steph. 'I was thinking of just hanging out here for a while.'
'Really? Weird thing to do when you've come all the way from Australia.'
'Yeah, well, that's up to me, isn't it?'
'Of course,' said Kylie. She sidled past Steph in the doorway, then made her way back to her room, looking puzzled.
Eduardo was walking down the corridor from the men's room at the other end. When he reached their bedroom door, he walked past it to take Kylie into his arms and kiss her deeply.
'I'm all ready for you now, querida,' he said.
'Oh yes?' said Kylie. 'I might've changed my mind.'
'I don't think so,' he said, and began to kiss her neck, which caused her to close her eyes and make small sounds of approval.
A few seconds later, a door slammed loudly, and they broke apart to see Caroline holding a towel and a sponge bag, looking at them with deep disapproval.
'Did you guys pay for a room or not?' she said.
'Good point,' said Kylie, pushing Eduardo gently away from her. 'Shall we spend the day together again, Caroline? I mean, it was fun yesterday, wasn't it?'
'Yeah, it was,' said Caroline. 'But that was yesterday.'
'I just saw Steph,' said Kylie. 'She said she was thinking of just hanging out here today.'
'Maybe she's sick or something,' said Caroline. 'I'd better leave her alone... maybe hang out with you guys, if you really don't mind. Was she going to the bathroom down the corridor?'
'Yes,' said Kylie.
'Right,' said Caroline, and promptly made her way to the staircase opposite the men's showers.
'What is with them?' asked Kylie, watching as Caroline began to ascend the stairs.
'Who cares?' said Eduardo, taking both her hands in his and pulling her towards their door.
A short while later, they were lying in the spooning position, Kylie facing the wall with Eduardo's left arm draped over her.
'We should go get some breakfast,' he said. 'We're already in danger of facing the limp sausage problem again.'
'Oh yes?' said Kylie, twisting round to give him a facetious look.
'Behave,' he said, as he slid out of bed. 'Is this you not ever becoming like your mother?'
Kylie threw a pillow at him. It hit him square in the face and made him fall over his jeans as he was putting them on.
'Are you okay?' she said, laughing.
'You shouldn't laugh until you know I am okay,' said Eduardo, getting up to finish dressing. 'I could've broken my neck.'
'Sorry, sweetie,' said Kylie, as she began to put her own clothes on. 'I wonder if Caroline and Steph have had breakfast yet. Or just one of them. They won't be having it together because they're clearly not okay.'
'Whatever it is, it's their problem,' said Eduardo.
'They're our friends.'
'They're not. Once we're on the bus to Barcelona, we'll never see them again.'
'Oh, you're all heart.'
'It's none of our business,' said Eduardo. 'They don't want a couple of random Americans they just met sticking their noses in.'
'Are we going to just take them at their word, then?' said Kylie. 'Go somewhere with Caroline and leave Steph here to stew?'
'Maybe she's not stewing. Maybe she has a headache or period cramps or something.'
'And what does Caroline have?'
'I don't know. PMS?'
'Right,' said Kylie, 'because obviously that's the only reason a woman can be in a bad mood.'
'I'm not the one looking for a reason,' said Eduardo. 'It's none of my business, Ky. Or yours.'
'Yeah, I guess not. Still, if it was the other way around and they woke up this morning to find us all sullen and avoiding each other, they'd wonder about it. I don't think I'm being unduly nosy.'
'You are if you ask them about it.'
'I'm not going to ask them about it,' said Kylie. 'Let's go get those limp sausages now, shall we?'
'We should go get some breakfast,' he said. 'We're already in danger of facing the limp sausage problem again.'
'Oh yes?' said Kylie, twisting round to give him a facetious look.
'Behave,' he said, as he slid out of bed. 'Is this you not ever becoming like your mother?'
Kylie threw a pillow at him. It hit him square in the face and made him fall over his jeans as he was putting them on.
'Are you okay?' she said, laughing.
'You shouldn't laugh until you know I am okay,' said Eduardo, getting up to finish dressing. 'I could've broken my neck.'
'Sorry, sweetie,' said Kylie, as she began to put her own clothes on. 'I wonder if Caroline and Steph have had breakfast yet. Or just one of them. They won't be having it together because they're clearly not okay.'
'Whatever it is, it's their problem,' said Eduardo.
'They're our friends.'
'They're not. Once we're on the bus to Barcelona, we'll never see them again.'
'Oh, you're all heart.'
'It's none of our business,' said Eduardo. 'They don't want a couple of random Americans they just met sticking their noses in.'
'Are we going to just take them at their word, then?' said Kylie. 'Go somewhere with Caroline and leave Steph here to stew?'
'Maybe she's not stewing. Maybe she has a headache or period cramps or something.'
'And what does Caroline have?'
'I don't know. PMS?'
'Right,' said Kylie, 'because obviously that's the only reason a woman can be in a bad mood.'
'I'm not the one looking for a reason,' said Eduardo. 'It's none of my business, Ky. Or yours.'
'Yeah, I guess not. Still, if it was the other way around and they woke up this morning to find us all sullen and avoiding each other, they'd wonder about it. I don't think I'm being unduly nosy.'
'You are if you ask them about it.'
'I'm not going to ask them about it,' said Kylie. 'Let's go get those limp sausages now, shall we?'
Later in the day, Eduardo and Kylie were walking hand in hand across a stone bridge over a wide river, with Caroline lagging a long way behind. They stopped halfway over the central arch to lean on the railing and look down into the water.
'So what river's this?' asked Eduardo.
'The Ebro,' said Kylie. 'It's very big and important, actually.'
'Important? Why?'
'I don't exactly know, but it's the biggest river in Spain, anyway. You could read that guidebook I bought, if you really want to know. It's in my back pocket.'
'It'd be more fun if I had to search you for it,' said Eduardo, making Kylie giggle as he delved deeper into her back pocket than necessary to retrieve the thin guidebook.
'Hey, Caroline, come over here!' Kylie called. 'Eduardo's going to tell us about this river.'
'Must be so limiting, only being able to read one language,' said Eduardo, running his eyes over the text.
'It is,' said Kylie, as Caroline mooched over to join them. 'Enlighten us, sweetie.'
'Where did you read that the river was important?' asked Eduardo.
'I don't know – some encyclopaedia.'
'I think it must've come from a translation originally. This is saying the Ebro is importante, but it doesn't mean exactly important; it means big... significant... leading... noteworthy might be the best way of putting it.'
'God,' said Kylie. 'Spanish doesn't have enough different words.'
'It does if you understand the context and you're not lazy about translating it.'
'Okay, so translate for us. What about this river?'
'It's the biggest in Spain and has the largest area of drainage basin... and that's really all it says about the river. It says more about the Puente de Piedre – that just means the Stone Bridge... this bridge, which is also known as the Puente de San Juan Ortega. He was a saint, obviously... famous for building hospices and bridges for pilgrims, and he's the patron saint of hospice keepers, children and barren women.' He looked at Kylie. 'You really interested in this stuff?'
'Somewhat,' said Kylie. 'I don't suppose San Juan built this bridge, did he?'
Eduardo consulted the guidebook. 'No, he can't have done. He was living in the Eleventh and Twelfth Centuries, and this bridge was built in eighteen eighty-four. Fascinating stuff, huh, Caroline?'
'Maybe I'd better leave you guys alone,' said Caroline. 'I don't know what I was thinking, coming out just me with a couple. You must want to be by yourselves.'
'Yeah, it's hot stuff, I know,' said Eduardo, turning a page in the guidebook.
'I wouldn't have asked you if you weren't welcome, Caroline,' said Kylie.
'You didn't ask me,' said Caroline. 'You asked me and Steph.'
'What'll you do if you leave?' said Kylie. 'Go talk to her?'
'I don't think she wants me to talk to her.'
'What do you want, Caroline?'
'It's not me who doesn't know what I want,' said Caroline. 'I can't talk to her, Kylie – not just like that. She's the one who's gone into herself and won't come out, and it had to happen when we're stuck here in Spain, with nowhere to run away to and no interfering family or anyone to help us sort things out.'
Eduardo had been absorbed in the guidebook until this point, or pretending to be, but he suddenly looked up and said, 'You mean you actually want your family interfering in your life?'
'Oh, I don't know,' said Caroline. 'I guess I might feel differently if we were back home. But right here, right now, I wish I had somebody to pave the way... make Steph see that she can talk to me.'
'Are you asking?' said Kylie.
Caroline brightened. 'Are you offering?'
'Well, I don't know. If you're close enough friends to go on vacation to Spain together, surely you can fix whatever it is that's wrong without a virtual stranger acting as a bridge between you.'
'But Kylie, what happened... it's huge!'
'Are you going to tell me what happened?'
'I don't know,' said Caroline. 'Steph might not like it.'
'You can't really expect Kylie to help you if you don't tell her, Caroline,' Eduardo said reasonably.
'No, I guess not,' said Caroline. 'Well, see, the thing is we... what happened was... well, last night after the tapas bar hopping, we...'
'Caroline!' snapped Kylie. 'Either tell us or don't.'
'We kissed!' Caroline blurted out.
Kylie waited a moment. Eduardo went back to reading the guidebook. Then Kylie said, 'And?'
'That's it,' said Caroline.
'Oh,' said Kylie.
'What do mean, “Oh”?' said Caroline. 'We kissed, Kylie!'
'But that's all you did, right?'
'Well... yeah.'
'Is it really that big of a deal?' said Kylie. 'I mean, this isn't The Tenant of Wildfell Hall – there's no need to make a huge fuss over one kiss.'
'Isn't that some kind of classic novel?' said Caroline.
'Yeah, it is,' said Kylie. 'I just read it. This farmer kissed this priest's daughter and didn't marry her, and it was a really big deal in this Victorian country village.'
'But did it mean anything?' said Caroline. 'When he kissed her, was there anything behind it?'
'Not a thing,' said Kylie. 'So it's not the kiss itself; it's the emotional fallout. Is that what you're telling me?'
'I really like her, Kylie,' said Caroline. 'And I thought she felt the same way.'
'Even after she refused to open up the Melba Tunnel?'
'What?'
'In that last tapas bar.'
'Oh, I see,' said Caroline. 'Well actually, I did get the message then. I wasn't the one who started it when we got back to the hostel!'
'So she kissed you first?' said Kylie. 'And now she's put up walls. So either it was a mistake and you have to agree to go back to being friends, or she feels the same way you do and so you agree to become more than friends. If you really like her, the first option isn't ideal for you, but thousands of people have come to terms with that arrangement before.'
'You don't seem to think it matters that we're both women,' said Caroline.
'It doesn't matter to me,' said Kylie.
'Nor me,' said Caroline. 'But it matters to Steph. She's only ever been with guys before.'
'So she's freaking out about being bi-curious,' said Eduardo, as he reached the end of guidebook, 'or maybe more. That's understandable.'
'Maybe you'd like to pave the way for Caroline, sweetie,' said Kylie.
'Why does anybody have to pave the way?' said Eduardo. 'Look, Caroline, just tell Steph more or less what Kylie said: you like her, and you'll be happy if she feels the same way, but if not you still want to be her friend and no hard feelings.'
'Yes, that's exactly what to say,' said Kylie, turning back to Caroline with a triumphant smile. 'That would work for any two people in your situation – gender has nothing to do with it.'
'Well, I... I guess you're right,' said Caroline. 'Yeah! I'll go back to the hostel and say that to her right now, shall I?'
'Good idea,' said Kylie.
'Can you find your way back okay?' asked Eduardo.
'Sure,' said Caroline. 'We haven't come far – I can retrace my steps. I'll see you guys later. And... thanks!'
She turned and walked briskly off. Kylie turned back to Eduardo and slipped her arms around his waist.
'Sweetie, that was such good advice!' said Kylie.
'Don't sound so surprised,' said Eduardo.
'Sorry,' said Kylie. 'I was just thinking, you could've said that to me a couple of years ago if you'd wanted to... what you told Caroline to say to Steph, I mean. Who knows what I might've said?'
'It's no good rushing things,' said Eduardo. 'If we'd gotten drunk on beer and wimpy Spanish chorizo and kissed, I would've said exactly that, but we didn't.'
'No you wouldn't,' said Kylie. 'You'd have done a Steph and hidden from me.'
'Oh yeah?' said Eduardo. 'Y'know, you were the one who pretended Achira didn't mean what she made you say. I asked you about it.'
'Only because you thought I might want to have sex with you. You didn't love me then, and I certainly didn't love you.'
'But you did want to have sex with me, right?'
'I think you know the answer to that,' said Kylie. 'Part of me did and part of me didn't.'
'I know exactly which part of you did,' said Eduardo, and she squealed with laughter as he pounced on her right in the middle of the bridge.
'So what river's this?' asked Eduardo.
'The Ebro,' said Kylie. 'It's very big and important, actually.'
'Important? Why?'
'I don't exactly know, but it's the biggest river in Spain, anyway. You could read that guidebook I bought, if you really want to know. It's in my back pocket.'
'It'd be more fun if I had to search you for it,' said Eduardo, making Kylie giggle as he delved deeper into her back pocket than necessary to retrieve the thin guidebook.
'Hey, Caroline, come over here!' Kylie called. 'Eduardo's going to tell us about this river.'
'Must be so limiting, only being able to read one language,' said Eduardo, running his eyes over the text.
'It is,' said Kylie, as Caroline mooched over to join them. 'Enlighten us, sweetie.'
'Where did you read that the river was important?' asked Eduardo.
'I don't know – some encyclopaedia.'
'I think it must've come from a translation originally. This is saying the Ebro is importante, but it doesn't mean exactly important; it means big... significant... leading... noteworthy might be the best way of putting it.'
'God,' said Kylie. 'Spanish doesn't have enough different words.'
'It does if you understand the context and you're not lazy about translating it.'
'Okay, so translate for us. What about this river?'
'It's the biggest in Spain and has the largest area of drainage basin... and that's really all it says about the river. It says more about the Puente de Piedre – that just means the Stone Bridge... this bridge, which is also known as the Puente de San Juan Ortega. He was a saint, obviously... famous for building hospices and bridges for pilgrims, and he's the patron saint of hospice keepers, children and barren women.' He looked at Kylie. 'You really interested in this stuff?'
'Somewhat,' said Kylie. 'I don't suppose San Juan built this bridge, did he?'
Eduardo consulted the guidebook. 'No, he can't have done. He was living in the Eleventh and Twelfth Centuries, and this bridge was built in eighteen eighty-four. Fascinating stuff, huh, Caroline?'
'Maybe I'd better leave you guys alone,' said Caroline. 'I don't know what I was thinking, coming out just me with a couple. You must want to be by yourselves.'
'Yeah, it's hot stuff, I know,' said Eduardo, turning a page in the guidebook.
'I wouldn't have asked you if you weren't welcome, Caroline,' said Kylie.
'You didn't ask me,' said Caroline. 'You asked me and Steph.'
'What'll you do if you leave?' said Kylie. 'Go talk to her?'
'I don't think she wants me to talk to her.'
'What do you want, Caroline?'
'It's not me who doesn't know what I want,' said Caroline. 'I can't talk to her, Kylie – not just like that. She's the one who's gone into herself and won't come out, and it had to happen when we're stuck here in Spain, with nowhere to run away to and no interfering family or anyone to help us sort things out.'
Eduardo had been absorbed in the guidebook until this point, or pretending to be, but he suddenly looked up and said, 'You mean you actually want your family interfering in your life?'
'Oh, I don't know,' said Caroline. 'I guess I might feel differently if we were back home. But right here, right now, I wish I had somebody to pave the way... make Steph see that she can talk to me.'
'Are you asking?' said Kylie.
Caroline brightened. 'Are you offering?'
'Well, I don't know. If you're close enough friends to go on vacation to Spain together, surely you can fix whatever it is that's wrong without a virtual stranger acting as a bridge between you.'
'But Kylie, what happened... it's huge!'
'Are you going to tell me what happened?'
'I don't know,' said Caroline. 'Steph might not like it.'
'You can't really expect Kylie to help you if you don't tell her, Caroline,' Eduardo said reasonably.
'No, I guess not,' said Caroline. 'Well, see, the thing is we... what happened was... well, last night after the tapas bar hopping, we...'
'Caroline!' snapped Kylie. 'Either tell us or don't.'
'We kissed!' Caroline blurted out.
Kylie waited a moment. Eduardo went back to reading the guidebook. Then Kylie said, 'And?'
'That's it,' said Caroline.
'Oh,' said Kylie.
'What do mean, “Oh”?' said Caroline. 'We kissed, Kylie!'
'But that's all you did, right?'
'Well... yeah.'
'Is it really that big of a deal?' said Kylie. 'I mean, this isn't The Tenant of Wildfell Hall – there's no need to make a huge fuss over one kiss.'
'Isn't that some kind of classic novel?' said Caroline.
'Yeah, it is,' said Kylie. 'I just read it. This farmer kissed this priest's daughter and didn't marry her, and it was a really big deal in this Victorian country village.'
'But did it mean anything?' said Caroline. 'When he kissed her, was there anything behind it?'
'Not a thing,' said Kylie. 'So it's not the kiss itself; it's the emotional fallout. Is that what you're telling me?'
'I really like her, Kylie,' said Caroline. 'And I thought she felt the same way.'
'Even after she refused to open up the Melba Tunnel?'
'What?'
'In that last tapas bar.'
'Oh, I see,' said Caroline. 'Well actually, I did get the message then. I wasn't the one who started it when we got back to the hostel!'
'So she kissed you first?' said Kylie. 'And now she's put up walls. So either it was a mistake and you have to agree to go back to being friends, or she feels the same way you do and so you agree to become more than friends. If you really like her, the first option isn't ideal for you, but thousands of people have come to terms with that arrangement before.'
'You don't seem to think it matters that we're both women,' said Caroline.
'It doesn't matter to me,' said Kylie.
'Nor me,' said Caroline. 'But it matters to Steph. She's only ever been with guys before.'
'So she's freaking out about being bi-curious,' said Eduardo, as he reached the end of guidebook, 'or maybe more. That's understandable.'
'Maybe you'd like to pave the way for Caroline, sweetie,' said Kylie.
'Why does anybody have to pave the way?' said Eduardo. 'Look, Caroline, just tell Steph more or less what Kylie said: you like her, and you'll be happy if she feels the same way, but if not you still want to be her friend and no hard feelings.'
'Yes, that's exactly what to say,' said Kylie, turning back to Caroline with a triumphant smile. 'That would work for any two people in your situation – gender has nothing to do with it.'
'Well, I... I guess you're right,' said Caroline. 'Yeah! I'll go back to the hostel and say that to her right now, shall I?'
'Good idea,' said Kylie.
'Can you find your way back okay?' asked Eduardo.
'Sure,' said Caroline. 'We haven't come far – I can retrace my steps. I'll see you guys later. And... thanks!'
She turned and walked briskly off. Kylie turned back to Eduardo and slipped her arms around his waist.
'Sweetie, that was such good advice!' said Kylie.
'Don't sound so surprised,' said Eduardo.
'Sorry,' said Kylie. 'I was just thinking, you could've said that to me a couple of years ago if you'd wanted to... what you told Caroline to say to Steph, I mean. Who knows what I might've said?'
'It's no good rushing things,' said Eduardo. 'If we'd gotten drunk on beer and wimpy Spanish chorizo and kissed, I would've said exactly that, but we didn't.'
'No you wouldn't,' said Kylie. 'You'd have done a Steph and hidden from me.'
'Oh yeah?' said Eduardo. 'Y'know, you were the one who pretended Achira didn't mean what she made you say. I asked you about it.'
'Only because you thought I might want to have sex with you. You didn't love me then, and I certainly didn't love you.'
'But you did want to have sex with me, right?'
'I think you know the answer to that,' said Kylie. 'Part of me did and part of me didn't.'
'I know exactly which part of you did,' said Eduardo, and she squealed with laughter as he pounced on her right in the middle of the bridge.
It was getting dark when they got back to the youth hostel. They had almost reached the stairs when Kylie noticed Steph standing at reception with a wheeled suitcase leaning against her leg.
'Oh no, Eduardo, look,' said Kylie. 'Steph can't be leaving if Caroline said what you told her to say!'
'It's really none of our business,' said Eduardo, though he didn't sound too sure this time.
'I'm going to talk to her,' said Kylie.
'Okay,' said Eduardo. 'I'll wait for you. Except... it looks like Steph might need a translator.'
Kylie looked, and saw that Steph was gesturing frantically at the man behind the reception desk and saying in a loud voice, 'Dónde está la playa!'
'She's asking him the way to the beach,' said Eduardo.
'Go on up and wait for me, sweetie,' said Kylie. 'She won't need a translator if I can persuade her to stay.'
'What happens if you can't?'
'Then she'll have to find you and ask you herself. I'm not helping her to run away.'
'In that case,' said Eduardo, 'I won't take off all my clothes and cover myself in scrambled egg tapas or anything.'
Kylie laughed and gave him a kiss, then she headed for the reception desk and he for the stairs.
'Hey, Steph,' said Kylie. 'What are you doing?'
'I'm checking out,' said Steph. 'Well, trying to.'
'Without Caroline?'
'Yes.'
'Eduardo just told me you're asking this guy the way to the beach.'
'Way to the beach?' the receptionist said, in a voice even louder than Steph's had been.
'Está bien, señor,' said Kylie. 'I, er... hablo to ella.' She pointed at herself, then at Steph, then put her hands on Steph's shoulders and steered her away, leaving her suitcase where it was. 'Oh God, I'm crap at languages! I think he understood, though.'
'If Eduardo saw me struggling,' said Steph, 'why didn't he come and help me out?'
'Because you don't really want to leave,' said Kylie, as they entered a room full of vending machines, bean bags and a foosball table.
'What the hell do you know?' said Steph. 'This is none of your business!'
'Caroline made it my business,' said Kylie, pushing Steph down onto one of the beanbags, then sitting on one herself. 'Look, after you talk to me, you can still leave if you want to. But you'll have to fetch Eduardo yourself because I'm not doing it.'
'You mean Caroline told you what happened?' Steph said anxiously.
'Yes,' said Kylie. 'She didn't know how to talk to you.'
'It was all a huge mistake. It's better that I leave.'
'That can't be true. Did Caroline tell you she likes you and she'll be happy if you feel the same way, but if you don't she really wants to go back to being friends and no hard feelings?'
'Yes, that's exactly what she said. How did you know that?'
'Oh, well,' Kylie said evasively, 'that's the right thing to say in this situation. I'd have said very much the same thing myself, whether it was a guy I'd kissed or a girl. Although I don't... I mean... Steph, let me ask you something. If you'd come here with a guy, and you ended up in the same situation, and the guy went to you and said what Caroline said... would you be running away right now?'
Steph thought for a moment. Then she said, 'I probably would, yeah. Look, Kylie, you're making an awfully big deal out of us both being women.'
'Only because Caroline said it was a big deal to you,' said Kylie. 'When she was talking to me about it, I didn't even bring it up; she did!'
'I see,' said Steph. 'Well, maybe Caroline doesn't know as much as she thinks she does. Maybe what I'm most worried about is our friendship. You and Eduardo said you were friends before you got together, right?'
'Did we?' said Kylie. 'We weren't exactly friends like you and Caroline are friends, but... yeah, I guess we were friends.'
'Well, when you were thinking about becoming more than friends, weren't you afraid of losing what you already had?'
'I don't know about that. It wasn't really the same, but... yeah, I know what you mean. But Steph, won't running away damage your friendship a lot more than staying and working things out?'
'Not if we can't work things out,' said Steph. 'What if things go too far, and then it gets really awkward because we realise we don't want to be a couple even though we've gone to bed together and everything?'
'I, er... don't know,' said Kylie, clearly feeling a little awkward herself now. 'Then you can still run away at any time, I guess. I'm just saying, I think leaving is a bad idea because I know Caroline really wants to work things out, one way or the other. And now that I've said that, I'm gonna butt out of your business. But you'll have to hurry if you want to ask Eduardo to help you check out, because as soon I'm done in the bathroom, our door will be locked.' Then she smiled and added, 'Good luck, Steph. Whatever you decide.'
'Oh no, Eduardo, look,' said Kylie. 'Steph can't be leaving if Caroline said what you told her to say!'
'It's really none of our business,' said Eduardo, though he didn't sound too sure this time.
'I'm going to talk to her,' said Kylie.
'Okay,' said Eduardo. 'I'll wait for you. Except... it looks like Steph might need a translator.'
Kylie looked, and saw that Steph was gesturing frantically at the man behind the reception desk and saying in a loud voice, 'Dónde está la playa!'
'She's asking him the way to the beach,' said Eduardo.
'Go on up and wait for me, sweetie,' said Kylie. 'She won't need a translator if I can persuade her to stay.'
'What happens if you can't?'
'Then she'll have to find you and ask you herself. I'm not helping her to run away.'
'In that case,' said Eduardo, 'I won't take off all my clothes and cover myself in scrambled egg tapas or anything.'
Kylie laughed and gave him a kiss, then she headed for the reception desk and he for the stairs.
'Hey, Steph,' said Kylie. 'What are you doing?'
'I'm checking out,' said Steph. 'Well, trying to.'
'Without Caroline?'
'Yes.'
'Eduardo just told me you're asking this guy the way to the beach.'
'Way to the beach?' the receptionist said, in a voice even louder than Steph's had been.
'Está bien, señor,' said Kylie. 'I, er... hablo to ella.' She pointed at herself, then at Steph, then put her hands on Steph's shoulders and steered her away, leaving her suitcase where it was. 'Oh God, I'm crap at languages! I think he understood, though.'
'If Eduardo saw me struggling,' said Steph, 'why didn't he come and help me out?'
'Because you don't really want to leave,' said Kylie, as they entered a room full of vending machines, bean bags and a foosball table.
'What the hell do you know?' said Steph. 'This is none of your business!'
'Caroline made it my business,' said Kylie, pushing Steph down onto one of the beanbags, then sitting on one herself. 'Look, after you talk to me, you can still leave if you want to. But you'll have to fetch Eduardo yourself because I'm not doing it.'
'You mean Caroline told you what happened?' Steph said anxiously.
'Yes,' said Kylie. 'She didn't know how to talk to you.'
'It was all a huge mistake. It's better that I leave.'
'That can't be true. Did Caroline tell you she likes you and she'll be happy if you feel the same way, but if you don't she really wants to go back to being friends and no hard feelings?'
'Yes, that's exactly what she said. How did you know that?'
'Oh, well,' Kylie said evasively, 'that's the right thing to say in this situation. I'd have said very much the same thing myself, whether it was a guy I'd kissed or a girl. Although I don't... I mean... Steph, let me ask you something. If you'd come here with a guy, and you ended up in the same situation, and the guy went to you and said what Caroline said... would you be running away right now?'
Steph thought for a moment. Then she said, 'I probably would, yeah. Look, Kylie, you're making an awfully big deal out of us both being women.'
'Only because Caroline said it was a big deal to you,' said Kylie. 'When she was talking to me about it, I didn't even bring it up; she did!'
'I see,' said Steph. 'Well, maybe Caroline doesn't know as much as she thinks she does. Maybe what I'm most worried about is our friendship. You and Eduardo said you were friends before you got together, right?'
'Did we?' said Kylie. 'We weren't exactly friends like you and Caroline are friends, but... yeah, I guess we were friends.'
'Well, when you were thinking about becoming more than friends, weren't you afraid of losing what you already had?'
'I don't know about that. It wasn't really the same, but... yeah, I know what you mean. But Steph, won't running away damage your friendship a lot more than staying and working things out?'
'Not if we can't work things out,' said Steph. 'What if things go too far, and then it gets really awkward because we realise we don't want to be a couple even though we've gone to bed together and everything?'
'I, er... don't know,' said Kylie, clearly feeling a little awkward herself now. 'Then you can still run away at any time, I guess. I'm just saying, I think leaving is a bad idea because I know Caroline really wants to work things out, one way or the other. And now that I've said that, I'm gonna butt out of your business. But you'll have to hurry if you want to ask Eduardo to help you check out, because as soon I'm done in the bathroom, our door will be locked.' Then she smiled and added, 'Good luck, Steph. Whatever you decide.'
'Kylie!' said Eduardo, jumping up from the bed as Kylie entered their room. 'Look what I've done!'
He held out the Rubik's cube she had given him for his birthday, and Kylie took it. She turned it over in her hands, and saw that each face showed a complete picture of a London icon.
'Oh, sweetie, well done!' she said. 'So I guess it was more than nine times harder than a regular one, huh?'
'I don't think you can put a number on it,' said Eduardo. 'Y'know, I kind of wish I knew if I'd done it in a reasonable time-frame... not too far outside the average.'
'You should never compare yourself to other people,' said Kylie, putting the Rubik's cube down on the nightstand and then kissing him deeply. 'It really turns me on when you do something intelligent, baby.'
'In that case,' Eduardo said with a grin, 'we should probably lock the door. I think that's the most intelligent I've ever been... in the way you mean, anyhow.'
'Oh, that reminds me,' said Kylie, as she returned to the nightstand and picked up the room key. 'I take it Steph didn't come and find you?'
'To do what – cure her of her bi-curiosity?'
Kylie laughed as she turned the key in the lock. 'She wishes, right?'
'Of course.'
'Seriously though, you remember I said she'd have to come and find you herself if she wanted your help? Well I told her that, and I said she'd have to hurry or she'd find herself locked out.'
'So I guess she's staying,' said Eduardo, holding his arms out to Kylie as she crossed the room.
'She still might go, if she finds someone else who can speak Spanish for her... or a staff member who understands English, maybe.'
'Querida, I really don't care right now.'
'Mmm... me neither,' said Kylie, as they dropped onto the bed in each other's arms.
He held out the Rubik's cube she had given him for his birthday, and Kylie took it. She turned it over in her hands, and saw that each face showed a complete picture of a London icon.
'Oh, sweetie, well done!' she said. 'So I guess it was more than nine times harder than a regular one, huh?'
'I don't think you can put a number on it,' said Eduardo. 'Y'know, I kind of wish I knew if I'd done it in a reasonable time-frame... not too far outside the average.'
'You should never compare yourself to other people,' said Kylie, putting the Rubik's cube down on the nightstand and then kissing him deeply. 'It really turns me on when you do something intelligent, baby.'
'In that case,' Eduardo said with a grin, 'we should probably lock the door. I think that's the most intelligent I've ever been... in the way you mean, anyhow.'
'Oh, that reminds me,' said Kylie, as she returned to the nightstand and picked up the room key. 'I take it Steph didn't come and find you?'
'To do what – cure her of her bi-curiosity?'
Kylie laughed as she turned the key in the lock. 'She wishes, right?'
'Of course.'
'Seriously though, you remember I said she'd have to come and find you herself if she wanted your help? Well I told her that, and I said she'd have to hurry or she'd find herself locked out.'
'So I guess she's staying,' said Eduardo, holding his arms out to Kylie as she crossed the room.
'She still might go, if she finds someone else who can speak Spanish for her... or a staff member who understands English, maybe.'
'Querida, I really don't care right now.'
'Mmm... me neither,' said Kylie, as they dropped onto the bed in each other's arms.
The next morning, when Kylie was about to enter the shower room, the door was flung open and Steph and Caroline crashed into her. They were both wearing towels and laughing hysterically.
'Oh... sorry, Kylie,' Caroline grinned at her.
'No problem,' said Kylie.
'So,' said Steph, unable to keep from giggling, 'aren't you gonna ask what happened?'
'To you guys?' said Kylie. 'Of course not. It's none of my business.'
'If you say so,' said Caroline. 'So listen, Kylie, if you and Eduardo are up for it, we'd like to hang out with you guys again today. We thought maybe we could go to that winery on the edge of town and have a wine experience.'
'What's a wine experience?' Kylie asked.
'I don't know,' said Caroline, 'but wouldn't it be fun to find out?'
'Maybe,' Kylie said dubiously. 'I mean, I'm not much into wine, but of course we'll go with you.'
'Bonza,' said Steph. 'You're cool, Kylie. You had to be, with a name like that. You do know it's an Australian name, right?'
'It's from the same root as Kyle, isn't it?' said Kylie.
'Nah,' said Steph, 'it's Aboriginal. Anyway, we'd better leave you to your shower and go get dressed.'
'We don't have to get dressed,' said Caroline.
'Caroline!' Steph squealed, as they went frolicking off to their room together.
'Oh... sorry, Kylie,' Caroline grinned at her.
'No problem,' said Kylie.
'So,' said Steph, unable to keep from giggling, 'aren't you gonna ask what happened?'
'To you guys?' said Kylie. 'Of course not. It's none of my business.'
'If you say so,' said Caroline. 'So listen, Kylie, if you and Eduardo are up for it, we'd like to hang out with you guys again today. We thought maybe we could go to that winery on the edge of town and have a wine experience.'
'What's a wine experience?' Kylie asked.
'I don't know,' said Caroline, 'but wouldn't it be fun to find out?'
'Maybe,' Kylie said dubiously. 'I mean, I'm not much into wine, but of course we'll go with you.'
'Bonza,' said Steph. 'You're cool, Kylie. You had to be, with a name like that. You do know it's an Australian name, right?'
'It's from the same root as Kyle, isn't it?' said Kylie.
'Nah,' said Steph, 'it's Aboriginal. Anyway, we'd better leave you to your shower and go get dressed.'
'We don't have to get dressed,' said Caroline.
'Caroline!' Steph squealed, as they went frolicking off to their room together.
'Looks like Caroline and Steph are a couple now,' said Kylie, when she and Eduardo met up in their room after their showers.
'That's nice,' said Eduardo.
'Is that all it is?' said Kylie. 'I thought guys – well, straight guys – all turned into drooling perverts at the thought of two women together.'
'Ky, come on, don't stereotype people.'
'Okay, maybe not all of them, but I know what you like and I bet you're turned on by that kind of thing.'
'If that's true,' said Eduardo, 'I hope I have the good manners to keep it to myself.'
'And the other thing guys do is,' said Kylie, 'they look completely bewildered and stupid, and then they go, “What do lesbians do, anyway?”'
Eduardo gave her a look. 'You know I know better than that.'
'Yes. Yes, I do,' said Kylie, and smiled. 'To be honest, sweetie, I'm just really impressed by how you gave that great advice to Caroline without even thinking if it needed adapting for a same-sex relationship; you just knew it didn't.'
'Why wouldn't I know that?' said Eduardo. 'Love is love. You know that too, Ky. So what, are you saying you thought I was the kind of guy who thinks lesbianism should be confined to phallocentric porn videos?'
'No, of course not.'
'I'm glad to hear it.'
'I'm sorry, babe,' said Kylie. 'I didn't mean to offend you.'
'You didn't,' said Eduardo, and gave her a hug.
'Good.' She paused, then added, 'I didn't know you knew that word.'
'What, porn?'
'No!' she tittered. 'Phallocentric. So are those all-girl videos really...? No, don't answer that. Anyway, I said we'd hang out with Caroline and Steph again today.'
'Cool,' said Eduardo. 'It was fun last time. Of course, this time they'll be wanting me to go with them to that sex store we saw to ask about dildos, vibrators...'
Kylie smacked him admonishingly on the chest and laughed.
'That's nice,' said Eduardo.
'Is that all it is?' said Kylie. 'I thought guys – well, straight guys – all turned into drooling perverts at the thought of two women together.'
'Ky, come on, don't stereotype people.'
'Okay, maybe not all of them, but I know what you like and I bet you're turned on by that kind of thing.'
'If that's true,' said Eduardo, 'I hope I have the good manners to keep it to myself.'
'And the other thing guys do is,' said Kylie, 'they look completely bewildered and stupid, and then they go, “What do lesbians do, anyway?”'
Eduardo gave her a look. 'You know I know better than that.'
'Yes. Yes, I do,' said Kylie, and smiled. 'To be honest, sweetie, I'm just really impressed by how you gave that great advice to Caroline without even thinking if it needed adapting for a same-sex relationship; you just knew it didn't.'
'Why wouldn't I know that?' said Eduardo. 'Love is love. You know that too, Ky. So what, are you saying you thought I was the kind of guy who thinks lesbianism should be confined to phallocentric porn videos?'
'No, of course not.'
'I'm glad to hear it.'
'I'm sorry, babe,' said Kylie. 'I didn't mean to offend you.'
'You didn't,' said Eduardo, and gave her a hug.
'Good.' She paused, then added, 'I didn't know you knew that word.'
'What, porn?'
'No!' she tittered. 'Phallocentric. So are those all-girl videos really...? No, don't answer that. Anyway, I said we'd hang out with Caroline and Steph again today.'
'Cool,' said Eduardo. 'It was fun last time. Of course, this time they'll be wanting me to go with them to that sex store we saw to ask about dildos, vibrators...'
Kylie smacked him admonishingly on the chest and laughed.
