The Riveras Episode 7: January – Friends for Life
Written by Rosey Collins and Jake Collins
A taxi drew up outside Stanford University. Eduardo, Kylie, Roland and the driver got out. The driver then went to the back of the vehicle, and retrieved Garrett's wheelchair from the boot.
'Roland, this place is amazing!' said Kylie. 'There's pine trees on campus and everything!'
'Yeah, I guess,' said Roland.
'Nice cab drivers too,' said Garrett, rolling over to join them. 'Thanks, pal.'
'No problem,' said the cab driver. 'Who's paying?'
Roland pulled out his wallet and mooched over to the driver.
'Hey, you guys,' said Garrett, beckoning Eduardo and Kylie closer to him. 'Do you think Roland's been acting weird ever since we left?'
'Well,' said Kylie, 'perhaps a little.'
'Maybe he's possessed again,' said Eduardo.
'Too bad we can't check,' said Garrett. 'I'd have brought a PKE meter if I'd thought of it.'
'No you wouldn't,' said Kylie. 'There's no way you could have gotten it through security at Newark and San José. You would've probably gotten arrested and had to stay behind.'
'Somebody wanted to stay behind?' said Roland, appearing in their midst.
'No,' said Garrett. 'Don't jump to conclusions when you've only heard the end of a conversation, Rolster.'
'Sorry,' said Roland. 'It's just... it means a lot, you guys coming here with me. It's costing you time and money, and you didn't have to...'
'Where's all this coming from, Roland?' asked Kylie.
'I don't know,' said Roland. 'I guess I'm just feeling a little emotional. I mean, this could be the last time we do something like this.'
'I don't think so,' said Garrett. 'You're forgetting spring break.'
'Okay,' said Roland, 'but what about after that?'
'There's no point thinking that far ahead, Roland,' said Kylie. 'You haven't even found out if you really like this place yet. Let's go in and find your professor, shall we?'
'He's not my professor,' Roland said, somewhat sharply.
'Well,' said Kylie, 'you know what I mean. Come on.'
So saying, she pressed her hands to Roland's back and began pushing him towards the campus building, at the same time shooting a comical grimace over her shoulder at Eduardo and Garrett.
'Eddie,' said Garrett, chuckling, 'I don't know what it is you do, and I don't wanna know, but she's sure lightened up in the time you guys have been together.'
'Well, she wasn't just being funny,' said Eduardo. 'She was telling us not to follow them.'
'What? How come?'
'I guess she wants to have one of their heart-to-hearts.'
'Yeah, well,' said Garrett, 'that might not be a bad idea. You know what I'd tell him? If you really don't want to break up the group, don't go to Stanford!'
'Yeah?' said Eduardo. 'So does that mean you're planning to stick around after college?'
'I didn't say that,' said Garrett. 'But if I go anywhere, I won't get all emotional because I want us all to stay together. I mean, it's not like we're joined at the hip, right?'
'Give the guy a break,' said Eduardo. 'Some people get emotional when things change.'
'Yeah, okay,' said Garrett, 'but... things aren't gonna change that much, are they? I mean, if we end up going our separate ways... if we do... we'll still see each other sometimes, right?'
Eduardo gave him a look. 'Getting a little emotional yourself there, Gar?'
'No. I'm just saying... well, when it comes down to it, all Roland's really worrying about is geography.'
'Roland, this place is amazing!' said Kylie. 'There's pine trees on campus and everything!'
'Yeah, I guess,' said Roland.
'Nice cab drivers too,' said Garrett, rolling over to join them. 'Thanks, pal.'
'No problem,' said the cab driver. 'Who's paying?'
Roland pulled out his wallet and mooched over to the driver.
'Hey, you guys,' said Garrett, beckoning Eduardo and Kylie closer to him. 'Do you think Roland's been acting weird ever since we left?'
'Well,' said Kylie, 'perhaps a little.'
'Maybe he's possessed again,' said Eduardo.
'Too bad we can't check,' said Garrett. 'I'd have brought a PKE meter if I'd thought of it.'
'No you wouldn't,' said Kylie. 'There's no way you could have gotten it through security at Newark and San José. You would've probably gotten arrested and had to stay behind.'
'Somebody wanted to stay behind?' said Roland, appearing in their midst.
'No,' said Garrett. 'Don't jump to conclusions when you've only heard the end of a conversation, Rolster.'
'Sorry,' said Roland. 'It's just... it means a lot, you guys coming here with me. It's costing you time and money, and you didn't have to...'
'Where's all this coming from, Roland?' asked Kylie.
'I don't know,' said Roland. 'I guess I'm just feeling a little emotional. I mean, this could be the last time we do something like this.'
'I don't think so,' said Garrett. 'You're forgetting spring break.'
'Okay,' said Roland, 'but what about after that?'
'There's no point thinking that far ahead, Roland,' said Kylie. 'You haven't even found out if you really like this place yet. Let's go in and find your professor, shall we?'
'He's not my professor,' Roland said, somewhat sharply.
'Well,' said Kylie, 'you know what I mean. Come on.'
So saying, she pressed her hands to Roland's back and began pushing him towards the campus building, at the same time shooting a comical grimace over her shoulder at Eduardo and Garrett.
'Eddie,' said Garrett, chuckling, 'I don't know what it is you do, and I don't wanna know, but she's sure lightened up in the time you guys have been together.'
'Well, she wasn't just being funny,' said Eduardo. 'She was telling us not to follow them.'
'What? How come?'
'I guess she wants to have one of their heart-to-hearts.'
'Yeah, well,' said Garrett, 'that might not be a bad idea. You know what I'd tell him? If you really don't want to break up the group, don't go to Stanford!'
'Yeah?' said Eduardo. 'So does that mean you're planning to stick around after college?'
'I didn't say that,' said Garrett. 'But if I go anywhere, I won't get all emotional because I want us all to stay together. I mean, it's not like we're joined at the hip, right?'
'Give the guy a break,' said Eduardo. 'Some people get emotional when things change.'
'Yeah, okay,' said Garrett, 'but... things aren't gonna change that much, are they? I mean, if we end up going our separate ways... if we do... we'll still see each other sometimes, right?'
Eduardo gave him a look. 'Getting a little emotional yourself there, Gar?'
'No. I'm just saying... well, when it comes down to it, all Roland's really worrying about is geography.'
Meanwhile, back in New York, Kevin's class was having a geography lesson.
'In summary,' the teacher was saying, 'you are going to design and map out a city from scratch. Your report should contain full details of population, infrastructure, services, budget allocation and everything else we learned about in the weeks leading up to Christmas. See if you can organise yourselves into groups of three or four; otherwise I'll have to do it!'
Kevin heard the scraping of chairs on either side of him, and saw that he had been flanked by Lucy and Jandro. He grinned at them in turn; they grinned back at him.
'Oh dear,' the teacher said, 'it seems that Michael doesn't have a group. Which one of you gangs of three will take him?'
Michael looked over to where Ella was sitting with Catherine and Stephanie, both of whom were whispering to her harshly and physically restraining her from raising either of her hands. Kevin noticed this sequence of events, and frowned.
'Mrs Deeble?' he ventured. 'We'll take Michael.'
Kevin's group-mates did not take well to this idea. Lucy said, 'Oh, Kev!' in a strangled voice, and Jandro smacked him.
'Thank you, Kevin,' said Mrs Deeble. 'Michael, come and join this group, please.'
Michael mooched over to where Kevin, Lucy and Jandro were sitting, dragging his chair across the floor behind him.
'All right, now get to work,' Mrs Deeble ordered. 'I want a name and location for your city by the end of this lesson!'
'Can it be anywhere in the world, ma'am?' asked Lucy.
'Yes, it can, but I want it to be realistic, so if you choose somewhere too exotic then you'll have a lot of extra research to do!' said Mrs Deeble. 'Get on with it.'
The studious hum of quiet but intense group work quickly filled the classroom.
'I suppose you asked her that 'cause you want to put our city in China or something,' Michael said to Lucy. 'And I guess you two want to stick it in... El Salvador,' he added to Kevin and Jandro.
'Michael...' Lucy said, sounding strained and weary already.
'Let's just say it's on the Eastern Seaboard of the United States,' said Kevin. 'That's the easiest thing to do.'
'I didn't think you were the type to chase an easy A, Rivera,' said Michael.
'I'm not,' said Kevin, 'but I think this is the best way for us to produce a high quality project, if we stick with what we know.'
'You're right, Kev,' said Jandro. 'Let's do that.'
'Yeah, I agree,' said Lucy.
'Okay,' said Michael. 'Let's call it Conway City!'
'Well...' said Kevin. 'I guess that does have kind of a ring to it.'
'Yeah, that's fine by me,' said Jandro.
'But... yes, all right,' Lucy sighed. 'Now let's do some actual work, shall we?'
'In summary,' the teacher was saying, 'you are going to design and map out a city from scratch. Your report should contain full details of population, infrastructure, services, budget allocation and everything else we learned about in the weeks leading up to Christmas. See if you can organise yourselves into groups of three or four; otherwise I'll have to do it!'
Kevin heard the scraping of chairs on either side of him, and saw that he had been flanked by Lucy and Jandro. He grinned at them in turn; they grinned back at him.
'Oh dear,' the teacher said, 'it seems that Michael doesn't have a group. Which one of you gangs of three will take him?'
Michael looked over to where Ella was sitting with Catherine and Stephanie, both of whom were whispering to her harshly and physically restraining her from raising either of her hands. Kevin noticed this sequence of events, and frowned.
'Mrs Deeble?' he ventured. 'We'll take Michael.'
Kevin's group-mates did not take well to this idea. Lucy said, 'Oh, Kev!' in a strangled voice, and Jandro smacked him.
'Thank you, Kevin,' said Mrs Deeble. 'Michael, come and join this group, please.'
Michael mooched over to where Kevin, Lucy and Jandro were sitting, dragging his chair across the floor behind him.
'All right, now get to work,' Mrs Deeble ordered. 'I want a name and location for your city by the end of this lesson!'
'Can it be anywhere in the world, ma'am?' asked Lucy.
'Yes, it can, but I want it to be realistic, so if you choose somewhere too exotic then you'll have a lot of extra research to do!' said Mrs Deeble. 'Get on with it.'
The studious hum of quiet but intense group work quickly filled the classroom.
'I suppose you asked her that 'cause you want to put our city in China or something,' Michael said to Lucy. 'And I guess you two want to stick it in... El Salvador,' he added to Kevin and Jandro.
'Michael...' Lucy said, sounding strained and weary already.
'Let's just say it's on the Eastern Seaboard of the United States,' said Kevin. 'That's the easiest thing to do.'
'I didn't think you were the type to chase an easy A, Rivera,' said Michael.
'I'm not,' said Kevin, 'but I think this is the best way for us to produce a high quality project, if we stick with what we know.'
'You're right, Kev,' said Jandro. 'Let's do that.'
'Yeah, I agree,' said Lucy.
'Okay,' said Michael. 'Let's call it Conway City!'
'Well...' said Kevin. 'I guess that does have kind of a ring to it.'
'Yeah, that's fine by me,' said Jandro.
'But... yes, all right,' Lucy sighed. 'Now let's do some actual work, shall we?'
Roland and Kylie were sitting on semi-comfortable chairs in a room that contained a secretary sitting at a desk, a clock that read half-past eleven and a door labelled Professor Albright, Professor Solomon, Civil and Environmental Engineering. They sat in silence for a few moments, looking rather awkward.
'Nice office,' Kylie said at last. 'Well, it's a nice campus, isn't it? Don't you think it's nice, Roland?'
'You seem very taken with it,' said Roland. 'Are you thinking of coming here yourself?'
'I think it's too late for that,' said Kylie.
'No it's not. You'll probably be okay if you apply before the end of the month.'
'Yeah, well, I don't want to.'
'You don't?' said Roland, suddenly sounding very interested. 'Why not?'
'Because I'm happy in New York,' said Kylie, 'and I have enough possibilities there to think about.'
'So you definitely wouldn't consider leaving?'
'No, not right now. Not long-term, anyway.'
'Why? What's keeping you there?'
'Roland,' said Kylie, 'it sounds like maybe there's some ulterior motive to these questions. Is there anything you need to talk about?'
'I don't know,' said Roland. 'Professor Solomon's probably almost ready to see me.'
The secretary looked up, and said, 'Professor Solomon is unexpectedly busy this morning. He'll be with you as soon as he can.'
'Okay, thanks,' said Roland.
'Roland,' said Kylie, 'you know you can talk to me if you want to. But you don't have to, obviously.'
'No, I will,' Roland said with a sigh. 'The truth is, I want to finally come and get my doctorate here, after putting it off for two years. I mean, I think I do. But part of me is sort of hoping that today will change my mind, because I'm worried about what'll happen with T'Keyah.'
'Oh, I see,' said Kylie. 'I should've realised. She's staying in New York, right?'
'Yeah. She's been planning to get her doctorate at Albert Einstein College since she was a kid.'
'Have you talked to her about it?'
'Of course I have,' said Roland. 'She says she doesn't want me to stay behind because of her, or else I'll end up resenting her. And she's not going to follow me if I come here, for the same reason. But she doesn't want to split up either, so she says we can try a long-distance relationship, and see what we want to do when we're both done studying.'
'That sounds incredibly sensible,' said Kylie.
'Yeah?' said Roland. 'So you don't think I should stay with her?'
'It isn't what I think that matters.'
'But I want your opinion. As a friend. Please, Kylie.'
'Well...' Kylie began, looking uncomfortable. Then suddenly Professor Solomon's door opened, and the man himself appeared.
'I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, Roland,' he said. 'I've had to make so many phone calls about... well, you don't need to know that. Please, come through to my office.' He glanced at Kylie, and looked a little put out. 'And your friend...?'
'You don't need me for this, Roland,' said Kylie. 'I'll catch up with the others. Give one of us a call when you're done and we'll tell you where we are.'
'Okay,' said Roland, as Professor Solomon ushered him into his office.
'Nina,' said Professor Solomon, once Roland was out of sight, 'hold my calls, will you?'
'Even the drop-outs?' asked Nina.
'Especially the drop-outs!' said Solomon, in a low voice, leaning closer to Nina's desk. 'I'm trying to get the numbers back up here! So just keep quiet about it, will you?'
'Sorry,' Nina said insincerely, as Solomon disappeared into his office.
'You're experiencing a high drop-out rate?' Kylie said in surprise. 'But it's not drop-out season – people have usually made up their minds by now.'
'I know,' said Nina. 'It's weird, and it's not just freshmen either. People are dropping out with five months to graduation! Look, just between you and me, maybe your friend should know about it before he makes a decision.'
'Maybe,' said Kylie. 'I guess that depends on what the reason is.'
'Beats the hell outta me,' said Nina. 'But if I figure it out before you guys leave, I'll let you know.'
'Nice office,' Kylie said at last. 'Well, it's a nice campus, isn't it? Don't you think it's nice, Roland?'
'You seem very taken with it,' said Roland. 'Are you thinking of coming here yourself?'
'I think it's too late for that,' said Kylie.
'No it's not. You'll probably be okay if you apply before the end of the month.'
'Yeah, well, I don't want to.'
'You don't?' said Roland, suddenly sounding very interested. 'Why not?'
'Because I'm happy in New York,' said Kylie, 'and I have enough possibilities there to think about.'
'So you definitely wouldn't consider leaving?'
'No, not right now. Not long-term, anyway.'
'Why? What's keeping you there?'
'Roland,' said Kylie, 'it sounds like maybe there's some ulterior motive to these questions. Is there anything you need to talk about?'
'I don't know,' said Roland. 'Professor Solomon's probably almost ready to see me.'
The secretary looked up, and said, 'Professor Solomon is unexpectedly busy this morning. He'll be with you as soon as he can.'
'Okay, thanks,' said Roland.
'Roland,' said Kylie, 'you know you can talk to me if you want to. But you don't have to, obviously.'
'No, I will,' Roland said with a sigh. 'The truth is, I want to finally come and get my doctorate here, after putting it off for two years. I mean, I think I do. But part of me is sort of hoping that today will change my mind, because I'm worried about what'll happen with T'Keyah.'
'Oh, I see,' said Kylie. 'I should've realised. She's staying in New York, right?'
'Yeah. She's been planning to get her doctorate at Albert Einstein College since she was a kid.'
'Have you talked to her about it?'
'Of course I have,' said Roland. 'She says she doesn't want me to stay behind because of her, or else I'll end up resenting her. And she's not going to follow me if I come here, for the same reason. But she doesn't want to split up either, so she says we can try a long-distance relationship, and see what we want to do when we're both done studying.'
'That sounds incredibly sensible,' said Kylie.
'Yeah?' said Roland. 'So you don't think I should stay with her?'
'It isn't what I think that matters.'
'But I want your opinion. As a friend. Please, Kylie.'
'Well...' Kylie began, looking uncomfortable. Then suddenly Professor Solomon's door opened, and the man himself appeared.
'I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, Roland,' he said. 'I've had to make so many phone calls about... well, you don't need to know that. Please, come through to my office.' He glanced at Kylie, and looked a little put out. 'And your friend...?'
'You don't need me for this, Roland,' said Kylie. 'I'll catch up with the others. Give one of us a call when you're done and we'll tell you where we are.'
'Okay,' said Roland, as Professor Solomon ushered him into his office.
'Nina,' said Professor Solomon, once Roland was out of sight, 'hold my calls, will you?'
'Even the drop-outs?' asked Nina.
'Especially the drop-outs!' said Solomon, in a low voice, leaning closer to Nina's desk. 'I'm trying to get the numbers back up here! So just keep quiet about it, will you?'
'Sorry,' Nina said insincerely, as Solomon disappeared into his office.
'You're experiencing a high drop-out rate?' Kylie said in surprise. 'But it's not drop-out season – people have usually made up their minds by now.'
'I know,' said Nina. 'It's weird, and it's not just freshmen either. People are dropping out with five months to graduation! Look, just between you and me, maybe your friend should know about it before he makes a decision.'
'Maybe,' said Kylie. 'I guess that depends on what the reason is.'
'Beats the hell outta me,' said Nina. 'But if I figure it out before you guys leave, I'll let you know.'
'I can't believe how much there is to do...' muttered Professor Solomon, rifling through an enormous quantity of papers on his desk while Roland sat patiently opposite him. 'I'm sorry, Roland – I seem to have mislaid your file. I'll have to get Nina to print you a new one. NINA!' he shouted, as he shot out of his chair and headed for the door.
Roland watched him over his shoulder, then turned back towards the desk.
'I've seen your file,' said a white-haired, bespectacled man who had appeared in the professor's chair. 'Roland Jackson, isn't it? Engineering major, straight-A student and Ghostbuster. I know all about you and your escapades, Roland. Your kind-hearted leadership is unimpressive.'
Roland stared at the figure, unable to think of anything to say.
'You might as well stay with your girlfriend,' the visitor went on, 'because you'll never cope with the work here. On the other hand, you might as well try, because your girlfriend clearly doesn't want to be with you anymore. She's just trying to let you down gently with all that long-distance relationship nonsense. And what else do you have to stay for, hmm? All your friends hate you!'
'Why do you say that?' Roland asked anxiously.
'They only want you when they can make use of you. Actually, this reminds me of a very good riddle. When they don't need you, they take you in, but when they want to use you, they throw you away. What does that make you?'
'Um...'
Just then, the door opened again and Professor Solomon came back in, clutching a small sheaf of papers. Roland turned to look at him as he made his way from the door to his now empty chair.
'So sorry... do apologise,' Solomon mumbled, as he settled down and began leafing through the files. 'Now then, Roland...'
Roland watched him over his shoulder, then turned back towards the desk.
'I've seen your file,' said a white-haired, bespectacled man who had appeared in the professor's chair. 'Roland Jackson, isn't it? Engineering major, straight-A student and Ghostbuster. I know all about you and your escapades, Roland. Your kind-hearted leadership is unimpressive.'
Roland stared at the figure, unable to think of anything to say.
'You might as well stay with your girlfriend,' the visitor went on, 'because you'll never cope with the work here. On the other hand, you might as well try, because your girlfriend clearly doesn't want to be with you anymore. She's just trying to let you down gently with all that long-distance relationship nonsense. And what else do you have to stay for, hmm? All your friends hate you!'
'Why do you say that?' Roland asked anxiously.
'They only want you when they can make use of you. Actually, this reminds me of a very good riddle. When they don't need you, they take you in, but when they want to use you, they throw you away. What does that make you?'
'Um...'
Just then, the door opened again and Professor Solomon came back in, clutching a small sheaf of papers. Roland turned to look at him as he made his way from the door to his now empty chair.
'So sorry... do apologise,' Solomon mumbled, as he settled down and began leafing through the files. 'Now then, Roland...'
The geography class was packing up as the clock on the wall above the teacher's desk rapidly approached three o'clock.
'You guys can come back to my place after school and work on the project 'til my mom gets home,' Michael suddenly announced to his group-mates, 'if you want...'
'Er... no thanks,' said Jandro. 'I, er... gotta go wash my dog.'
'And I'm, um... going shopping for a new dress,' said Lucy. 'Sorry.'
'What about you, Rivera?' said Michael, fixing Kevin with a glare. 'Are you going shopping for a new dress too?'
'No, I'm not,' said Kevin. 'Okay, Michael – I will come back to your place after school.'
Michael's expression softened, but he said no more. Jandro and Lucy both gave Kevin bewildered looks. He grinned back at them, and shrugged.
'You guys can come back to my place after school and work on the project 'til my mom gets home,' Michael suddenly announced to his group-mates, 'if you want...'
'Er... no thanks,' said Jandro. 'I, er... gotta go wash my dog.'
'And I'm, um... going shopping for a new dress,' said Lucy. 'Sorry.'
'What about you, Rivera?' said Michael, fixing Kevin with a glare. 'Are you going shopping for a new dress too?'
'No, I'm not,' said Kevin. 'Okay, Michael – I will come back to your place after school.'
Michael's expression softened, but he said no more. Jandro and Lucy both gave Kevin bewildered looks. He grinned back at them, and shrugged.
Kevin stood in Michael's small, cluttered kitchen with the telephone pressed to his ear.
'No, Mom, I'm only eight blocks away,' he was saying into the mouthpiece. 'Yeah, I'll see you in a couple of hours. We're doing homework. His name's Michael. Er... yeah, I guess he is. No, we won't go off on the subway and get into trouble, I promise – we'll be working at his kitchen table the whole time. Okay, sure. See you then. Bye.'
As Kevin replaced the receiver, Michael finished stirring the two mugs of cocoa he had been working on and threw the chocolatey teaspoon into a sink that was already overflowing with dirty dishes. They both sat down at the kitchen table, and Michael handed Kevin a steaming mug.
'Thanks,' said Kevin. 'Smells like good cocoa.'
'It's only instant,' Michael shrugged. 'Your mom likes to know where you are after school, huh?'
'Yeah,' said Kevin. 'Doesn't yours?'
'I don't think so,' said Michael. 'But I guess she'd worry if I wasn't here when she got home from work.'
'Yeah, I bet she would,' said Kevin. 'It's just the two of you living here, right?'
'Yeah, that's right,' said Michael. 'My dad left when I was like five.'
'I'm sorry,' said Kevin.
'Doesn't matter,' Michael shrugged. 'You have a dad, huh?'
'Yeah, I have a dad.'
'Brothers and sisters?'
'No,' said Kevin. 'And I don't think that's ever going to change, from what I've picked up.'
'Maybe you'll get to meet my mom later,' said Michael. 'She'll be back in about two hours.'
'I'll be sure to stick around and say hi before I leave,' said Kevin. 'Okay then, Michael – I thought I could take a look at those popul–'
'You can call me Mike if you want,' said Michael. 'And I'll call you Kev, like your friends do.'
'All right, Mike,' said Kevin, smiling slightly. 'I'll get to work on the population statistics, and maybe you can make a start on the –'
'I'm gonna cut pictures out of this electronics catalogue and paste them into the section on business and commerce,' said Michael, 'to show what's gonna be made in the city's industrial district.'
'Um... okay then,' said Kevin. 'All right, let's do this!'
'No, Mom, I'm only eight blocks away,' he was saying into the mouthpiece. 'Yeah, I'll see you in a couple of hours. We're doing homework. His name's Michael. Er... yeah, I guess he is. No, we won't go off on the subway and get into trouble, I promise – we'll be working at his kitchen table the whole time. Okay, sure. See you then. Bye.'
As Kevin replaced the receiver, Michael finished stirring the two mugs of cocoa he had been working on and threw the chocolatey teaspoon into a sink that was already overflowing with dirty dishes. They both sat down at the kitchen table, and Michael handed Kevin a steaming mug.
'Thanks,' said Kevin. 'Smells like good cocoa.'
'It's only instant,' Michael shrugged. 'Your mom likes to know where you are after school, huh?'
'Yeah,' said Kevin. 'Doesn't yours?'
'I don't think so,' said Michael. 'But I guess she'd worry if I wasn't here when she got home from work.'
'Yeah, I bet she would,' said Kevin. 'It's just the two of you living here, right?'
'Yeah, that's right,' said Michael. 'My dad left when I was like five.'
'I'm sorry,' said Kevin.
'Doesn't matter,' Michael shrugged. 'You have a dad, huh?'
'Yeah, I have a dad.'
'Brothers and sisters?'
'No,' said Kevin. 'And I don't think that's ever going to change, from what I've picked up.'
'Maybe you'll get to meet my mom later,' said Michael. 'She'll be back in about two hours.'
'I'll be sure to stick around and say hi before I leave,' said Kevin. 'Okay then, Michael – I thought I could take a look at those popul–'
'You can call me Mike if you want,' said Michael. 'And I'll call you Kev, like your friends do.'
'All right, Mike,' said Kevin, smiling slightly. 'I'll get to work on the population statistics, and maybe you can make a start on the –'
'I'm gonna cut pictures out of this electronics catalogue and paste them into the section on business and commerce,' said Michael, 'to show what's gonna be made in the city's industrial district.'
'Um... okay then,' said Kevin. 'All right, let's do this!'
Eduardo, Kylie and Garrett were in an Italian restaurant, sipping coffee, and two of them were shamelessly gossiping about Roland.
'Don't they say long-distance relationships never work?' said Garrett.
'Who says that?' said Kylie.
Garrett shrugged. 'I don't know. People.'
'If they have a solid relationship,' said Kylie, 'it'll survive.'
'What if it doesn't survive?' asked Garrett.
'Then they'll be glad neither one of them sacrificed their dreams for the other,' said Kylie. 'T'Keyah is so right – if she gave up her place at medical school and maybe even couldn't get in somewhere else, or he stayed in New York when he really wants to go, they'd end up resenting each other.'
'Hey, Roland!' Eduardo called, beckoning their friend over as he entered the building. 'We ordered you a panini and a mocha cioccolata.'
'Thanks,' said Roland, sitting down and beginning to pick at the panini. 'By the way, there's a ghost in Professor Solomon's office.'
'Seriously?' said Garrett.
'Yes,' said Roland. 'He went out of the room for a minute, and this ghost appeared and tried to destroy all my confidence.'
'Wow,' said Kylie. 'Maybe that explains the sudden spate of drop-outs.'
'The what?' said Roland.
'Nina told me about it,' said Kylie. 'A lot of people have been dropping out lately, even if they're close to finishing.'
'We have to do something,' said Garrett.
'Right,' said Roland. 'We have to call Egon and get some equipment out here.'
'But that could take days,' said Garrett. 'Kylie was right before about airport security – he can't fly it out here.'
'Maybe he can,' said Roland. 'In situations like this, we usually find as many people willing to help us as condemn us – sometimes even more.'
'It seems like a lot of hassle,' said Garrett. 'Maybe one or two of us should go check this thing out and see if there's anything else we can do.'
'Like what?' Eduardo asked sceptically.
'We won't know that until we get there,' said Garrett. 'I'm going, anyway. Nobody can touch my confidence.'
'Nor mine,' said Kylie, getting to her feet. 'And besides, I can show you the way to the office. You guys could maybe call Egon and see what he thinks. We'll meet later at the hotel.'
'Is this a good idea?' asked Eduardo.
'We'll be fine, sweetie,' said Kylie, stooping to kiss him. 'See you soon.'
She and Garrett made their way out of the restaurant. Eduardo turned to Roland, and said again, 'Is this a good idea?'
'I'm sure they'll be okay,' said Roland.
'But they don't have any weapons.'
'Neither does anyone at the university, and it sounds like all anyone's done is drop out.'
'Yeah, well, this Nina woman ain't exactly gonna mention a sudden rise in suicide rates, is she?'
'They'll be fine,' Roland insisted. 'They're right, aren't they? No one can touch their confidence. Not like mine – I was a sitting duck in there.'
Eduardo raised his eyebrows. 'You mean it got to you?'
Roland sighed. 'No. Well, yes. I mean... I was already having some confidence issues anyway.'
Eduardo nodded, then started concentrating hard on his coffee. Roland watched him, and frowned.
'I was worrying about how T'Keyah really feels about me,' he went on pointedly.
Eduardo looked at him, swallowed a big gulp of coffee, and said, 'Do you want my advice or something? Look, man, only you and T'Keyah know what's going on with you.'
'But I don't know – not really! What if the ghost –?'
'Don't listen to some stupid ghost you just met.'
'Well, I had the same thought myself, before I met him. What if this long-distance idea is just her way of letting me down gently, over a prolonged period?'
'Look,' said Eduardo, 'I don't really know T'Keyah that well, but I don't think she'd be that cruel. If she wanted to break up with you, she would.'
'But that's just what I'm afraid of!' said Roland. 'I just know that someday soon she's gonna turn around and tell me she doesn't need me in her life anymore!'
'Why would she tell you that? Because you can't be with a woman who's smart and has her own life and won't just be a little wifey at home?'
'No, of course not,' Roland said pathetically.
'Right,' said Eduardo. 'Sorry, man – that wasn't about you.'
'Is it anything you want to talk about?'
'No. It wasn't about me either. Anyway, we're talking about you. What else did this ghost say?'
'He said that all my friends hate me.'
'Not true.'
'And he said that I couldn't handle going to Stanford.'
'Bull.'
'And he said my kind-hearted leadership was unimpressive,' said Roland. 'I guess he was talking about ghostbusting.'
'How would it know anything about that?' asked Eduardo. 'It just met you.'
'Maybe he can read minds or something. Or maybe he just read my paperwork. I said I was the team leader on my application... I hope that's okay with the rest of you.'
'Fine with me. I mean, there've been a lot of times when we've really depended on you. It's gonna make a huge difference, you not being there. If you're not there.'
'Yeah?' said Roland, smiling slightly. 'So does that mean you'll still be there?'
Eduardo shrugged. 'I guess so. I mean, I can't do anything else.'
'Oh, I'm sure you can.'
'Yeah, well, maybe. But I'm not the one who needs a confidence boost here. Quit worrying about T'Keyah, man, okay? You might not even like it here. And if you do, you know she wants to keep the relationship going even if you're on opposite sides of the country for a few years. It sounds to me like you guys are pretty okay, Roland.'
'Well,' said Roland, 'I hope so. Anyway, I'll try calling Egon,' and he took out his cell phone.
'Don't they say long-distance relationships never work?' said Garrett.
'Who says that?' said Kylie.
Garrett shrugged. 'I don't know. People.'
'If they have a solid relationship,' said Kylie, 'it'll survive.'
'What if it doesn't survive?' asked Garrett.
'Then they'll be glad neither one of them sacrificed their dreams for the other,' said Kylie. 'T'Keyah is so right – if she gave up her place at medical school and maybe even couldn't get in somewhere else, or he stayed in New York when he really wants to go, they'd end up resenting each other.'
'Hey, Roland!' Eduardo called, beckoning their friend over as he entered the building. 'We ordered you a panini and a mocha cioccolata.'
'Thanks,' said Roland, sitting down and beginning to pick at the panini. 'By the way, there's a ghost in Professor Solomon's office.'
'Seriously?' said Garrett.
'Yes,' said Roland. 'He went out of the room for a minute, and this ghost appeared and tried to destroy all my confidence.'
'Wow,' said Kylie. 'Maybe that explains the sudden spate of drop-outs.'
'The what?' said Roland.
'Nina told me about it,' said Kylie. 'A lot of people have been dropping out lately, even if they're close to finishing.'
'We have to do something,' said Garrett.
'Right,' said Roland. 'We have to call Egon and get some equipment out here.'
'But that could take days,' said Garrett. 'Kylie was right before about airport security – he can't fly it out here.'
'Maybe he can,' said Roland. 'In situations like this, we usually find as many people willing to help us as condemn us – sometimes even more.'
'It seems like a lot of hassle,' said Garrett. 'Maybe one or two of us should go check this thing out and see if there's anything else we can do.'
'Like what?' Eduardo asked sceptically.
'We won't know that until we get there,' said Garrett. 'I'm going, anyway. Nobody can touch my confidence.'
'Nor mine,' said Kylie, getting to her feet. 'And besides, I can show you the way to the office. You guys could maybe call Egon and see what he thinks. We'll meet later at the hotel.'
'Is this a good idea?' asked Eduardo.
'We'll be fine, sweetie,' said Kylie, stooping to kiss him. 'See you soon.'
She and Garrett made their way out of the restaurant. Eduardo turned to Roland, and said again, 'Is this a good idea?'
'I'm sure they'll be okay,' said Roland.
'But they don't have any weapons.'
'Neither does anyone at the university, and it sounds like all anyone's done is drop out.'
'Yeah, well, this Nina woman ain't exactly gonna mention a sudden rise in suicide rates, is she?'
'They'll be fine,' Roland insisted. 'They're right, aren't they? No one can touch their confidence. Not like mine – I was a sitting duck in there.'
Eduardo raised his eyebrows. 'You mean it got to you?'
Roland sighed. 'No. Well, yes. I mean... I was already having some confidence issues anyway.'
Eduardo nodded, then started concentrating hard on his coffee. Roland watched him, and frowned.
'I was worrying about how T'Keyah really feels about me,' he went on pointedly.
Eduardo looked at him, swallowed a big gulp of coffee, and said, 'Do you want my advice or something? Look, man, only you and T'Keyah know what's going on with you.'
'But I don't know – not really! What if the ghost –?'
'Don't listen to some stupid ghost you just met.'
'Well, I had the same thought myself, before I met him. What if this long-distance idea is just her way of letting me down gently, over a prolonged period?'
'Look,' said Eduardo, 'I don't really know T'Keyah that well, but I don't think she'd be that cruel. If she wanted to break up with you, she would.'
'But that's just what I'm afraid of!' said Roland. 'I just know that someday soon she's gonna turn around and tell me she doesn't need me in her life anymore!'
'Why would she tell you that? Because you can't be with a woman who's smart and has her own life and won't just be a little wifey at home?'
'No, of course not,' Roland said pathetically.
'Right,' said Eduardo. 'Sorry, man – that wasn't about you.'
'Is it anything you want to talk about?'
'No. It wasn't about me either. Anyway, we're talking about you. What else did this ghost say?'
'He said that all my friends hate me.'
'Not true.'
'And he said that I couldn't handle going to Stanford.'
'Bull.'
'And he said my kind-hearted leadership was unimpressive,' said Roland. 'I guess he was talking about ghostbusting.'
'How would it know anything about that?' asked Eduardo. 'It just met you.'
'Maybe he can read minds or something. Or maybe he just read my paperwork. I said I was the team leader on my application... I hope that's okay with the rest of you.'
'Fine with me. I mean, there've been a lot of times when we've really depended on you. It's gonna make a huge difference, you not being there. If you're not there.'
'Yeah?' said Roland, smiling slightly. 'So does that mean you'll still be there?'
Eduardo shrugged. 'I guess so. I mean, I can't do anything else.'
'Oh, I'm sure you can.'
'Yeah, well, maybe. But I'm not the one who needs a confidence boost here. Quit worrying about T'Keyah, man, okay? You might not even like it here. And if you do, you know she wants to keep the relationship going even if you're on opposite sides of the country for a few years. It sounds to me like you guys are pretty okay, Roland.'
'Well,' said Roland, 'I hope so. Anyway, I'll try calling Egon,' and he took out his cell phone.
Kevin and Michael started gathering together the work they had completed.
'You have very nice handwriting, Kev,' Michael remarked.
'Thanks, Mike,' said Kevin.
'I wish I could write like that,' said Michael.
'Oh, I've seen much worse writing than yours,' said Kevin. 'What have you actually written here? Kettle... Toaster... Microwave oven...'
'They're captions for the pictures.'
'Okay, so... what you've basically done is cut out pictures from that catalogue and write one- or two-word labels for them?'
'Yeah.'
'Is this all you've been doing, while I've been sitting here making population graphs and writing up infrastructure specifications?' Kevin asked, somewhat shrilly.
'You've just been colouring!' Michael said accusingly.
'Sure, I coloured the graph, but –'
'You're the first person I've ever had over after school.'
'What?' said Kevin.
'I've never done it before,' said Michael. 'I, um... I enjoyed it.'
'But... you must've had Ella over, at least?'
'No, she's never been here. I've been to her house, and we've been to the mall and the movie theatre and a whole bunch of other places, but she's never been here.'
'You should invite her over one afternoon,' said Kevin, 'make her some beans on toast or something. I bet she'd be really touched.'
'She probably wouldn't want to come,' said Michael.
'What makes you say that?'
'I think she's going off me, Kev. You saw how she didn't invite me to join her geography group earlier, didn't you?'
'Yeah, but that was only because Catherine and Stephanie were physically restraining her.'
'She could've said something though, couldn't she? She could've said, “Yes, Mrs Deeble, I want my boyfriend in my group!” but she didn't. Ella hates me now – that's the only explanation! I just know that someday soon she's gonna turn around and tell me she doesn't need me in her life anymore!'
'I think you're wrong, dude,' said Kevin. 'You just try inviting her back here after school and see what she says.'
'I don't know if I can,' said Michael. 'I mean, even if she does want to come over, the place is such a mess!'
'Oh,' said Kevin. 'Well, you know, Mike –'
Kevin stopped speaking at the sound of the front door opening. A few seconds later Michael's mother appeared in the kitchen, dressed in a blue tabard and looking very weary.
'Hiya, Mikey,' she said. 'Oh, I'm so glad you finally brought a friend home from school! Hi, I'm Rita, Mikey's mom.'
'Hi,' said Kevin, 'I'm Kevin, Mikey's geography group-mate.'
'Oh, you've been doing homework together – how wonderful!' Rita enthused. 'Mikey doesn't usually do homework.'
'Yes, well he hasn't actually done very much today either,' Kevin could not help but say.
'Oh, I'm sure he hasn't,' Rita laughed, clapping her hands together in amusement. 'Thank you so much for coming over, Kevin. I wish I could be here myself when you get back from school, Mikey, but those frozen fish fillets aren't going to sell themselves, now are they?'
'Mom, this mug is dirty,' said Michael, holding out his cocoa mug.
'So it is, darling,' said Rita. 'Well, I guess I'd better take it.'
She cast a wistful look at the overflowing stack of dishes in the sink, added the mug to it, and reached for the dish-washing liquid in a resigned manner. Kevin cast a guilty look at his own used mug.
'Um... I'd better be getting home now,' he said. 'Thanks for having me, Mike. I'll see you tomorrow.'
'Bye, Kev,' said Michael.
'And do feel free to come back any time,' said Rita. 'You're a very nice boy, Kevin.'
'Yeah, well...' Kevin laughed. 'I do my best.'
'You have very nice handwriting, Kev,' Michael remarked.
'Thanks, Mike,' said Kevin.
'I wish I could write like that,' said Michael.
'Oh, I've seen much worse writing than yours,' said Kevin. 'What have you actually written here? Kettle... Toaster... Microwave oven...'
'They're captions for the pictures.'
'Okay, so... what you've basically done is cut out pictures from that catalogue and write one- or two-word labels for them?'
'Yeah.'
'Is this all you've been doing, while I've been sitting here making population graphs and writing up infrastructure specifications?' Kevin asked, somewhat shrilly.
'You've just been colouring!' Michael said accusingly.
'Sure, I coloured the graph, but –'
'You're the first person I've ever had over after school.'
'What?' said Kevin.
'I've never done it before,' said Michael. 'I, um... I enjoyed it.'
'But... you must've had Ella over, at least?'
'No, she's never been here. I've been to her house, and we've been to the mall and the movie theatre and a whole bunch of other places, but she's never been here.'
'You should invite her over one afternoon,' said Kevin, 'make her some beans on toast or something. I bet she'd be really touched.'
'She probably wouldn't want to come,' said Michael.
'What makes you say that?'
'I think she's going off me, Kev. You saw how she didn't invite me to join her geography group earlier, didn't you?'
'Yeah, but that was only because Catherine and Stephanie were physically restraining her.'
'She could've said something though, couldn't she? She could've said, “Yes, Mrs Deeble, I want my boyfriend in my group!” but she didn't. Ella hates me now – that's the only explanation! I just know that someday soon she's gonna turn around and tell me she doesn't need me in her life anymore!'
'I think you're wrong, dude,' said Kevin. 'You just try inviting her back here after school and see what she says.'
'I don't know if I can,' said Michael. 'I mean, even if she does want to come over, the place is such a mess!'
'Oh,' said Kevin. 'Well, you know, Mike –'
Kevin stopped speaking at the sound of the front door opening. A few seconds later Michael's mother appeared in the kitchen, dressed in a blue tabard and looking very weary.
'Hiya, Mikey,' she said. 'Oh, I'm so glad you finally brought a friend home from school! Hi, I'm Rita, Mikey's mom.'
'Hi,' said Kevin, 'I'm Kevin, Mikey's geography group-mate.'
'Oh, you've been doing homework together – how wonderful!' Rita enthused. 'Mikey doesn't usually do homework.'
'Yes, well he hasn't actually done very much today either,' Kevin could not help but say.
'Oh, I'm sure he hasn't,' Rita laughed, clapping her hands together in amusement. 'Thank you so much for coming over, Kevin. I wish I could be here myself when you get back from school, Mikey, but those frozen fish fillets aren't going to sell themselves, now are they?'
'Mom, this mug is dirty,' said Michael, holding out his cocoa mug.
'So it is, darling,' said Rita. 'Well, I guess I'd better take it.'
She cast a wistful look at the overflowing stack of dishes in the sink, added the mug to it, and reached for the dish-washing liquid in a resigned manner. Kevin cast a guilty look at his own used mug.
'Um... I'd better be getting home now,' he said. 'Thanks for having me, Mike. I'll see you tomorrow.'
'Bye, Kev,' said Michael.
'And do feel free to come back any time,' said Rita. 'You're a very nice boy, Kevin.'
'Yeah, well...' Kevin laughed. 'I do my best.'
When Kylie and Garrett entered Professor Solomon's office, one of the two desks was occupied by a middle-aged woman. She was concentrating hard on some paperwork, but raised her head inquisitively when the two strangers barged in.
'Sorry,' said Kylie. 'You must be Professor Albright. We're Ghostbusters. We just happened to be visiting, and we've had reports of a ghost in this office.'
'Reports from whom?' Professor Albright asked sharply.
'A visitor,' said Garrett.
'I've never seen any ghost,' said Professor Albright.
'We think it only targets students,' said Garrett. 'And prospective students. In fact, we think it's responsible for the sudden increase in drop-out rates.'
'Oh,' said Professor Albright, her tone brightening. 'Well, Professor Solomon and I have been wondering what to do about that. All right, you go ahead. Would you like me to leave?'
'Not to seem rude, Professor,' said Kylie, 'but it might help.'
'I was just wishing for an excuse to put this off,' Professor Albright said, throwing down her pen and getting to her feet. 'I didn't get my full lunch break anyway.'
The professor left the room, and all was quiet. Kylie and Garrett waited a for few moments. Then Kylie slumped into Albright's chair, and said, 'So I guess this is a pretty pointless exercise.'
'Maybe one of us should wait outside,' said Garrett.
'I don't know. We've probably talked too much now, and it knows what we're up to.'
'Well, let's give it a few minutes anyway.'
Kylie nodded, and they waited in silence for a few more moments.
'So do you think Roland will get his doctorate here?' Garrett asked at length.
'I hope so,' said Kylie.
'Yeah?' said Garrett. 'You sure sound like you feel strongly about it.'
'I don't know about that,' said Kylie. 'I just happen to think T'Keyah's right. If someone does something like not go to Stanford or not go to Albert Einstein College, to be with a boyfriend or girlfriend, sooner or later the one who made the sacrifice will throw it back in the other one's face.'
'So, you wouldn't give up an opportunity like this for Eduardo?'
'I can't see us getting into that situation.'
'Oh, I get it,' said Garrett, sounding suddenly and inexplicably grumpy.
Kylie stared at him in astonishment. 'What?'
'You go running off with Roland because you're worried about him acting weird, but you never want to talk about feelings and stuff with me!'
'Garrett, what the hell is this?' She was utterly at a loss. 'You were the one who brought up Roland acting weird, and... do you want to talk about your feelings? Because we can if you want to.'
'Oh, I don't know,' Garrett said sulkily. 'Maybe my feelings are wrong.'
'Of course they're not,' said Kylie. 'Is that ghost whispering in your ear or something?'
'No, it's not. I was thinking about this before we even came here.'
'Thinking about what?'
'I might not stay in New York either,' said Garrett, 'and I thought, if I didn't... if you were going to lose touch with one of us... I thought maybe it'd be me.'
'What a weird thing to think,' said Kylie. 'Was that “you” in the singular or the plural?'
'Kind of both, I guess,' said Garrett. 'I mean, Eduardo and Roland never seemed to get close, but you're the link between them. Eduardo's your boyfriend, obviously, and Roland... well, he's kind of like your girl-friend, isn't he? You tell him everything. Or a lot more than you tell me, anyway.'
'Well,' said Kylie, 'don't take this the wrong way, Garrett, but you don't exactly invite those kinds of conversations. I mean, when it comes to personal stuff, it kind of seems like you're looking for a laugh at someone's expense.'
'But I'm not!' said Garrett. 'I don't laugh at... I mean, if I really thought you... okay, I see your point.'
'Listen,' said Kylie. 'I can't speak for the others, but if I told you some of the stuff I tell Roland, it'd be weird because... well, because it'd be like I was saying it to my brother.'
'All right, I get it,' said Garrett. 'I'm not sensitive enough. Whatever – it doesn't matter.'
'Garrett,' said Kylie, 'are you even listening to me? I just said you're like my brother, you idiot!'
Garrett looked up suddenly. 'You... you did?'
'Look... you don't have any brothers or sisters, right?'
'Yeah, that's right.'
'Well, neither do I... so I guess I don't really know that much about it, but I figured... the way you laugh at me, and you try to get a rise out of me, but at the same time you'd do anything to protect me... that's sort of like what a brother does, isn't it?'
'Do I do that?' asked Garrett.
'Well,' said Kylie, 'you know we argue, about vampires or whatever... but you would do anything to protect me, wouldn't you? Like get yourself eaten by a giant plant and end up symbiotically linked to a seed pod, no matter how much you'd made fun of my ideas about the whole thing up 'til then?'
'But... but that was such a long time ago!'
'Yeah, well, I've never forgotten it. And I bet you'd do it again, wouldn't you?'
'So,' said Garrett, in wheedling tones, 'that means you and I have the strongest bond of all, right? Because boyfriends and girlfriends and friends come and go, but family –'
'– you're stuck with,' Kylie finished for him. 'Yes, that's true. But look, this ghost still hasn't shown up. Let's go with your idea of one of us leaving the room.'
'Which one?' asked Garrett.
'I'll go,' said Kylie. 'If it wants confidence, it should have plenty of material in you.'
She got up and walked into Nina's office, shutting the door firmly behind her. Garrett watched her go with a smug smile on his face, then turned his chair to face Professor Solomon's desk, only to see that the ghost had appeared there.
'So,' the ghost said, 'you think you can stop me?'
'Busting ghosts is my business,' said Garrett.
'For now,' said the ghost. 'I wonder why you told your friend you might be leaving.'
'I don't have to explain myself to you.'
'No, you don't, because I know the answer. You haven't spent the last three-and-a-half years learning about the human body so you can spend the rest of your life chasing people and things that have no body... like the skeleton who didn't go to the dance. You like jokes, don't you, Garrett?'
'Some jokes,' Garrett said guardedly.
'What about anatomy jokes? Let's see now... Why can't a nose be twelve inches long?'
At first Garrett said nothing, but he couldn't help thinking about the answer and when he thought he had it, he said, 'Because then it would be a foot?'
The ghost chuckled. 'Very good. What kind of flower grows on your face?'
Garrett was about to reply when Kylie burst into the room, and said, 'Don't get into a riddling contest with him, Garrett!'
'If you want a contest,' said the ghost, 'you must take a turn to ask me a riddle. Shall we try that?'
'No,' said Kylie. 'Come on, Garrett, let's go.'
So saying, she stalked from the room, and Garrett obediently followed her through Nina's office and out into the corridor.
'I guess it's pretty dangerous to try answering a ghost's riddle, huh?' he said sheepishly.
'I don't know exactly what would happen,' said Kylie, 'but you can bet your ass it wouldn't be good.'
'Why did it even start all that, anyway?' Garrett asked. 'I thought it was trying to destroy people's confidence and make them drop out, not trick them with riddles.'
'Maybe it does both. Let's go find the others and tell them what we've found out.'
'Sorry,' said Kylie. 'You must be Professor Albright. We're Ghostbusters. We just happened to be visiting, and we've had reports of a ghost in this office.'
'Reports from whom?' Professor Albright asked sharply.
'A visitor,' said Garrett.
'I've never seen any ghost,' said Professor Albright.
'We think it only targets students,' said Garrett. 'And prospective students. In fact, we think it's responsible for the sudden increase in drop-out rates.'
'Oh,' said Professor Albright, her tone brightening. 'Well, Professor Solomon and I have been wondering what to do about that. All right, you go ahead. Would you like me to leave?'
'Not to seem rude, Professor,' said Kylie, 'but it might help.'
'I was just wishing for an excuse to put this off,' Professor Albright said, throwing down her pen and getting to her feet. 'I didn't get my full lunch break anyway.'
The professor left the room, and all was quiet. Kylie and Garrett waited a for few moments. Then Kylie slumped into Albright's chair, and said, 'So I guess this is a pretty pointless exercise.'
'Maybe one of us should wait outside,' said Garrett.
'I don't know. We've probably talked too much now, and it knows what we're up to.'
'Well, let's give it a few minutes anyway.'
Kylie nodded, and they waited in silence for a few more moments.
'So do you think Roland will get his doctorate here?' Garrett asked at length.
'I hope so,' said Kylie.
'Yeah?' said Garrett. 'You sure sound like you feel strongly about it.'
'I don't know about that,' said Kylie. 'I just happen to think T'Keyah's right. If someone does something like not go to Stanford or not go to Albert Einstein College, to be with a boyfriend or girlfriend, sooner or later the one who made the sacrifice will throw it back in the other one's face.'
'So, you wouldn't give up an opportunity like this for Eduardo?'
'I can't see us getting into that situation.'
'Oh, I get it,' said Garrett, sounding suddenly and inexplicably grumpy.
Kylie stared at him in astonishment. 'What?'
'You go running off with Roland because you're worried about him acting weird, but you never want to talk about feelings and stuff with me!'
'Garrett, what the hell is this?' She was utterly at a loss. 'You were the one who brought up Roland acting weird, and... do you want to talk about your feelings? Because we can if you want to.'
'Oh, I don't know,' Garrett said sulkily. 'Maybe my feelings are wrong.'
'Of course they're not,' said Kylie. 'Is that ghost whispering in your ear or something?'
'No, it's not. I was thinking about this before we even came here.'
'Thinking about what?'
'I might not stay in New York either,' said Garrett, 'and I thought, if I didn't... if you were going to lose touch with one of us... I thought maybe it'd be me.'
'What a weird thing to think,' said Kylie. 'Was that “you” in the singular or the plural?'
'Kind of both, I guess,' said Garrett. 'I mean, Eduardo and Roland never seemed to get close, but you're the link between them. Eduardo's your boyfriend, obviously, and Roland... well, he's kind of like your girl-friend, isn't he? You tell him everything. Or a lot more than you tell me, anyway.'
'Well,' said Kylie, 'don't take this the wrong way, Garrett, but you don't exactly invite those kinds of conversations. I mean, when it comes to personal stuff, it kind of seems like you're looking for a laugh at someone's expense.'
'But I'm not!' said Garrett. 'I don't laugh at... I mean, if I really thought you... okay, I see your point.'
'Listen,' said Kylie. 'I can't speak for the others, but if I told you some of the stuff I tell Roland, it'd be weird because... well, because it'd be like I was saying it to my brother.'
'All right, I get it,' said Garrett. 'I'm not sensitive enough. Whatever – it doesn't matter.'
'Garrett,' said Kylie, 'are you even listening to me? I just said you're like my brother, you idiot!'
Garrett looked up suddenly. 'You... you did?'
'Look... you don't have any brothers or sisters, right?'
'Yeah, that's right.'
'Well, neither do I... so I guess I don't really know that much about it, but I figured... the way you laugh at me, and you try to get a rise out of me, but at the same time you'd do anything to protect me... that's sort of like what a brother does, isn't it?'
'Do I do that?' asked Garrett.
'Well,' said Kylie, 'you know we argue, about vampires or whatever... but you would do anything to protect me, wouldn't you? Like get yourself eaten by a giant plant and end up symbiotically linked to a seed pod, no matter how much you'd made fun of my ideas about the whole thing up 'til then?'
'But... but that was such a long time ago!'
'Yeah, well, I've never forgotten it. And I bet you'd do it again, wouldn't you?'
'So,' said Garrett, in wheedling tones, 'that means you and I have the strongest bond of all, right? Because boyfriends and girlfriends and friends come and go, but family –'
'– you're stuck with,' Kylie finished for him. 'Yes, that's true. But look, this ghost still hasn't shown up. Let's go with your idea of one of us leaving the room.'
'Which one?' asked Garrett.
'I'll go,' said Kylie. 'If it wants confidence, it should have plenty of material in you.'
She got up and walked into Nina's office, shutting the door firmly behind her. Garrett watched her go with a smug smile on his face, then turned his chair to face Professor Solomon's desk, only to see that the ghost had appeared there.
'So,' the ghost said, 'you think you can stop me?'
'Busting ghosts is my business,' said Garrett.
'For now,' said the ghost. 'I wonder why you told your friend you might be leaving.'
'I don't have to explain myself to you.'
'No, you don't, because I know the answer. You haven't spent the last three-and-a-half years learning about the human body so you can spend the rest of your life chasing people and things that have no body... like the skeleton who didn't go to the dance. You like jokes, don't you, Garrett?'
'Some jokes,' Garrett said guardedly.
'What about anatomy jokes? Let's see now... Why can't a nose be twelve inches long?'
At first Garrett said nothing, but he couldn't help thinking about the answer and when he thought he had it, he said, 'Because then it would be a foot?'
The ghost chuckled. 'Very good. What kind of flower grows on your face?'
Garrett was about to reply when Kylie burst into the room, and said, 'Don't get into a riddling contest with him, Garrett!'
'If you want a contest,' said the ghost, 'you must take a turn to ask me a riddle. Shall we try that?'
'No,' said Kylie. 'Come on, Garrett, let's go.'
So saying, she stalked from the room, and Garrett obediently followed her through Nina's office and out into the corridor.
'I guess it's pretty dangerous to try answering a ghost's riddle, huh?' he said sheepishly.
'I don't know exactly what would happen,' said Kylie, 'but you can bet your ass it wouldn't be good.'
'Why did it even start all that, anyway?' Garrett asked. 'I thought it was trying to destroy people's confidence and make them drop out, not trick them with riddles.'
'Maybe it does both. Let's go find the others and tell them what we've found out.'
At nine o'clock the next morning, Garrett and Roland were sitting at a table in a small hotel dining room and helping themselves to toast, cereal and orange juice.
'He was just calling them jokes to start off with,' said Garrett, 'but then we all seemed to agree they were riddles. I mean, a joke is a kind of riddle, right? Or is a riddle a kind of joke?'
'Both,' said Roland. 'If it's cryptic but not funny it's just a riddle, and if it's funny but not cryptic it's just a joke, but if it's funny and cryptic then it's both. Maybe I should call Egon again and ask him what he thinks about this.'
'You'd be calling him with practically nothing, Rolster. What exactly did he say yesterday?'
'He said he'd see about getting some equipment to us, and he'd call me if he made any progress. But he also said to call him if we got any more information, and I think this might be important. In fact, now I come to think of it –'
'Look who finally decided to drag themselves out of bed,' Garrett interrupted, as Eduardo and Kylie came giggling and frolicking into the room. 'You're just in time, guys – Roland's about to tell us something interesting about the ghost.'
'Oh yes?' said Kylie, trying to look interested as she and Eduardo took their seats at the table. Then she started giggling, and said insincerely, 'Eduardo, stop that!'
'Yes, Eduardo, stop that,' said Garrett.
Eduardo stopped whatever it was he was doing, and they all looked expectantly at Roland.
'I just remembered,' said Roland, 'that the ghost actually asked me a riddle as well. I barely even noticed at the time. It was so seamless, when he was telling me all my friends hated me. He said something like... they take you in when they don't need you, but they throw you away when they want to use you, so what does that make you?'
'An anchor,' Eduardo said at once.
'Oh yeah,' said Kylie, giving him a congratulatory pat on the face. 'Good one, sweetie.'
'Well,' said Garrett, 'you kind of are our anchor, Roland. But that's a good thing.'
'Yes, well, the ghost tried to make it sound like a bad thing.'
'Can you solve mine, Eddie?' Garrett asked hopefully. 'What kind of flower grows on your face? I keep fixating on iris, but that's not cryptic enough, is it?'
'I think maybe it's tulips,' said Kylie.
'Tulips?' said Garrett, looking puzzled. Then light dawned on his face. 'Oh... I get it!'
'I was thinking about it all night,' Kylie confessed.
'You were?' said Eduardo, giving her a comical look, and she subsided into giggles once again.
'This isn't getting us anywhere, is it?' said Roland. 'I mean, can we actually use this information?'
'Maybe,' said Eduardo. 'Didn't you guys say this thing wanted you to give it a riddle?'
'He did suggest it,' said Garrett. 'He probably gets to eat your soul after he solves it or something.'
'Not if we give it a riddle it can't solve,' said Eduardo.
'That sounds like a dangerous game, Eduardo,' said Kylie. 'He might be able to solve anything. I wouldn't even want to risk asking him the one about why a good friend is like a good bra.'
'Are you sure?' said Garrett. 'He's so Victorian-looking, that might just embarrass him off campus. So why is a good friend like a good bra, Kylie?'
'Because,' said Kylie, 'it's hard to find, but when you do it's comfortable, supportive, lifts you up and stays close to your heart.'
Garrett chuckled. 'That's a good one.'
'I don't think we should bring up those kinds of ideas with him,' said Roland. 'It's just the sort of thing he likes to tear apart.'
'Friendship,' Garrett giggled, 'or bras?'
'Maybe both,' said Eduardo. 'So do you guys wanna hear me out or not?'
'He was just calling them jokes to start off with,' said Garrett, 'but then we all seemed to agree they were riddles. I mean, a joke is a kind of riddle, right? Or is a riddle a kind of joke?'
'Both,' said Roland. 'If it's cryptic but not funny it's just a riddle, and if it's funny but not cryptic it's just a joke, but if it's funny and cryptic then it's both. Maybe I should call Egon again and ask him what he thinks about this.'
'You'd be calling him with practically nothing, Rolster. What exactly did he say yesterday?'
'He said he'd see about getting some equipment to us, and he'd call me if he made any progress. But he also said to call him if we got any more information, and I think this might be important. In fact, now I come to think of it –'
'Look who finally decided to drag themselves out of bed,' Garrett interrupted, as Eduardo and Kylie came giggling and frolicking into the room. 'You're just in time, guys – Roland's about to tell us something interesting about the ghost.'
'Oh yes?' said Kylie, trying to look interested as she and Eduardo took their seats at the table. Then she started giggling, and said insincerely, 'Eduardo, stop that!'
'Yes, Eduardo, stop that,' said Garrett.
Eduardo stopped whatever it was he was doing, and they all looked expectantly at Roland.
'I just remembered,' said Roland, 'that the ghost actually asked me a riddle as well. I barely even noticed at the time. It was so seamless, when he was telling me all my friends hated me. He said something like... they take you in when they don't need you, but they throw you away when they want to use you, so what does that make you?'
'An anchor,' Eduardo said at once.
'Oh yeah,' said Kylie, giving him a congratulatory pat on the face. 'Good one, sweetie.'
'Well,' said Garrett, 'you kind of are our anchor, Roland. But that's a good thing.'
'Yes, well, the ghost tried to make it sound like a bad thing.'
'Can you solve mine, Eddie?' Garrett asked hopefully. 'What kind of flower grows on your face? I keep fixating on iris, but that's not cryptic enough, is it?'
'I think maybe it's tulips,' said Kylie.
'Tulips?' said Garrett, looking puzzled. Then light dawned on his face. 'Oh... I get it!'
'I was thinking about it all night,' Kylie confessed.
'You were?' said Eduardo, giving her a comical look, and she subsided into giggles once again.
'This isn't getting us anywhere, is it?' said Roland. 'I mean, can we actually use this information?'
'Maybe,' said Eduardo. 'Didn't you guys say this thing wanted you to give it a riddle?'
'He did suggest it,' said Garrett. 'He probably gets to eat your soul after he solves it or something.'
'Not if we give it a riddle it can't solve,' said Eduardo.
'That sounds like a dangerous game, Eduardo,' said Kylie. 'He might be able to solve anything. I wouldn't even want to risk asking him the one about why a good friend is like a good bra.'
'Are you sure?' said Garrett. 'He's so Victorian-looking, that might just embarrass him off campus. So why is a good friend like a good bra, Kylie?'
'Because,' said Kylie, 'it's hard to find, but when you do it's comfortable, supportive, lifts you up and stays close to your heart.'
Garrett chuckled. 'That's a good one.'
'I don't think we should bring up those kinds of ideas with him,' said Roland. 'It's just the sort of thing he likes to tear apart.'
'Friendship,' Garrett giggled, 'or bras?'
'Maybe both,' said Eduardo. 'So do you guys wanna hear me out or not?'
The school was teeming with lunchtime activity as Kevin dragged Lucy and Jandro to a secluded spot behind the sports hall.
'What's up, Kev?' said Lucy. 'Why all the cloak-and-dagger stuff?'
'I want to talk to you about Michael,' said Kevin. 'We've got geography again this afternoon, and I think we should all go back to his place afterward.'
'In God's name, why?' said Lucy.
'To work on the project,' said Kevin.
'Maybe he won't invite us today,' said Jandro, sounding more than a little hopeful.
'Then I'll suggest it myself,' said Kevin. 'Please, guys, for me...'
'I don't understand where you're coming from, Kev,' said Lucy. 'Michael is a grade-A moron! Why do you have a boner for him all of a sudden?'
'I don't have a boner for him – I just thought you were both a little rude to him yesterday,' said Kevin. 'Couldn't you see how hurt he was when you made your flimsy excuses? Luce, you never even wear dresses!'
'My heart bleeds for him,' said Lucy, adopting an impressive frown.
'I really did have to go home and wash my dog,' Jandro added.
'Please, just come back to his place tonight,' said Kevin. 'We can get most of the project finished, plus I have an interesting idea – it's gonna be fantastic, trust me!'
'Okay, Kev,' said Jandro. 'I guess we do need to get to work on that thing.'
'Okay, I'll come too,' said Lucy. 'I can't wait to see if it really is an interesting idea.'
'What's up, Kev?' said Lucy. 'Why all the cloak-and-dagger stuff?'
'I want to talk to you about Michael,' said Kevin. 'We've got geography again this afternoon, and I think we should all go back to his place afterward.'
'In God's name, why?' said Lucy.
'To work on the project,' said Kevin.
'Maybe he won't invite us today,' said Jandro, sounding more than a little hopeful.
'Then I'll suggest it myself,' said Kevin. 'Please, guys, for me...'
'I don't understand where you're coming from, Kev,' said Lucy. 'Michael is a grade-A moron! Why do you have a boner for him all of a sudden?'
'I don't have a boner for him – I just thought you were both a little rude to him yesterday,' said Kevin. 'Couldn't you see how hurt he was when you made your flimsy excuses? Luce, you never even wear dresses!'
'My heart bleeds for him,' said Lucy, adopting an impressive frown.
'I really did have to go home and wash my dog,' Jandro added.
'Please, just come back to his place tonight,' said Kevin. 'We can get most of the project finished, plus I have an interesting idea – it's gonna be fantastic, trust me!'
'Okay, Kev,' said Jandro. 'I guess we do need to get to work on that thing.'
'Okay, I'll come too,' said Lucy. 'I can't wait to see if it really is an interesting idea.'
'It's an interesting idea,' said Kylie, who was walking down a Stanford corridor with her arms locked around Eduardo's waist. 'I just hope it's going to work!'
'Don't you trust me?' Eduardo asked.
'I don't trust anyone with an entity we know nothing about,' said Kylie, 'including myself. Maybe we should try calling Egon again.'
'It's only been five minutes since I tried him, Ky,' said Roland who, with Garrett, was a few yards behind them.
'I think Egon would say it's a great idea,' said Eduardo. 'It worked before, didn't it?'
'When?' asked Kylie.
'Remember Pagan's brilliant plan to defeat that wish demon?' said Eduardo. 'Worked like a charm. Too bad he's not here right now – you could ask his advice about this.'
Kylie frowned. 'Sweetie, you're not being a jerk, are you?'
'Of course not,' said Eduardo, stooping to kiss the top of her head. 'Sorry. I'm just nervous.'
They arrived outside Nina's office. Kylie knocked, and then pushed open the door.
'No one here,' she said, as she made her way into the room, and then through into the professors' office. 'Looks like the professors are out too.'
'What did I tell you?' said Garrett, as they all assembled between Professor Solomon's and Professor Albright's desks. 'This is why we waited for the lunch hour.'
'Assuming ghosts don't take lunch,' said Roland. 'How do we get him to appear?'
'How about if we answer its riddles?' said Eduardo. 'You know – the ones it already asked. Kind of challenge it, I guess.'
'Yeah?' Garrett asked sceptically. 'Tell me honestly, Eddie. Are you sure you know what you're doing?'
'Don't you trust me?' Eduardo asked.
'I don't trust anyone with an entity we know nothing about,' said Kylie, 'including myself. Maybe we should try calling Egon again.'
'It's only been five minutes since I tried him, Ky,' said Roland who, with Garrett, was a few yards behind them.
'I think Egon would say it's a great idea,' said Eduardo. 'It worked before, didn't it?'
'When?' asked Kylie.
'Remember Pagan's brilliant plan to defeat that wish demon?' said Eduardo. 'Worked like a charm. Too bad he's not here right now – you could ask his advice about this.'
Kylie frowned. 'Sweetie, you're not being a jerk, are you?'
'Of course not,' said Eduardo, stooping to kiss the top of her head. 'Sorry. I'm just nervous.'
They arrived outside Nina's office. Kylie knocked, and then pushed open the door.
'No one here,' she said, as she made her way into the room, and then through into the professors' office. 'Looks like the professors are out too.'
'What did I tell you?' said Garrett, as they all assembled between Professor Solomon's and Professor Albright's desks. 'This is why we waited for the lunch hour.'
'Assuming ghosts don't take lunch,' said Roland. 'How do we get him to appear?'
'How about if we answer its riddles?' said Eduardo. 'You know – the ones it already asked. Kind of challenge it, I guess.'
'Yeah?' Garrett asked sceptically. 'Tell me honestly, Eddie. Are you sure you know what you're doing?'
Kevin, Michael, Lucy and Jandro were sitting around Michael's kitchen table, working studiously. Kevin glanced up at the clock on the microwave, nodded, put the lid on his pen and cleared his throat.
'Okay,' he announced, 'it's time to get to work.'
'We've been working for almost an hour, Kev,' said Lucy.
'We sure have,' said Kevin, 'but now we've got a different kind of work to do. Michael's mom will be back from the supermarket in another hour, and by then this place is gonna be spotless!'
'It is?' said Jandro. 'Why?'
'Because we're gonna clean it!' Kevin announced.
'Oh, Kev...' Lucy sighed.
'Mike, can you imagine how happy your mom will be to come home and find all the housework done, and the place shining like a home from a real estate agent's brochure?' said Kevin.
'Yeah, I can imagine that,' said Michael. 'She'd be pretty happy, I guess. But...'
'No buts!' said Kevin. 'Time's a-wasting and we need to get to work! Jandro, I want you to find every piece of pottery and silverware in this kitchen and give it a thorough going-over in the sink.'
'You mean you want me to do the dishes?' said Jandro.
'Exactly,' said Kevin. 'Mike, you're going to get a cloth and a bucket of hot water and scrub down all the kitchen surfaces, the table, the window in here and the window in the lounge.'
'I am?' said Michael, as if the concept sounded completely alien to him.
'Yes, you are!' said Kevin. 'Lucy, would you mind vacuuming the lounge?'
'Is there a vacuum cleaner in this place?' Lucy asked pointedly.
'There's one in the big storage cupboard,' said Michael. 'I'll get it out.'
'Perfect,' said Kevin.
'And what are you going to do, Kev, while we're all working so hard?' said Lucy, giving him a small smile.
'I'm going to do the laundry,' said Kevin.
'The laundry?' said Jandro. 'That's specialist stuff, man. Are you sure you know what you're doing?'
'Of course I'm sure,' said Kevin. 'Just trust me, okay?'
'Okay,' he announced, 'it's time to get to work.'
'We've been working for almost an hour, Kev,' said Lucy.
'We sure have,' said Kevin, 'but now we've got a different kind of work to do. Michael's mom will be back from the supermarket in another hour, and by then this place is gonna be spotless!'
'It is?' said Jandro. 'Why?'
'Because we're gonna clean it!' Kevin announced.
'Oh, Kev...' Lucy sighed.
'Mike, can you imagine how happy your mom will be to come home and find all the housework done, and the place shining like a home from a real estate agent's brochure?' said Kevin.
'Yeah, I can imagine that,' said Michael. 'She'd be pretty happy, I guess. But...'
'No buts!' said Kevin. 'Time's a-wasting and we need to get to work! Jandro, I want you to find every piece of pottery and silverware in this kitchen and give it a thorough going-over in the sink.'
'You mean you want me to do the dishes?' said Jandro.
'Exactly,' said Kevin. 'Mike, you're going to get a cloth and a bucket of hot water and scrub down all the kitchen surfaces, the table, the window in here and the window in the lounge.'
'I am?' said Michael, as if the concept sounded completely alien to him.
'Yes, you are!' said Kevin. 'Lucy, would you mind vacuuming the lounge?'
'Is there a vacuum cleaner in this place?' Lucy asked pointedly.
'There's one in the big storage cupboard,' said Michael. 'I'll get it out.'
'Perfect,' said Kevin.
'And what are you going to do, Kev, while we're all working so hard?' said Lucy, giving him a small smile.
'I'm going to do the laundry,' said Kevin.
'The laundry?' said Jandro. 'That's specialist stuff, man. Are you sure you know what you're doing?'
'Of course I'm sure,' said Kevin. 'Just trust me, okay?'
'Just trust me, okay?' said Eduardo. Then he announced loudly, 'An anchor, and tulips. Now it's my turn, right? Like you said yesterday?'
The ghost appeared in Professor Albright's chair, and looked narrowly at the quartet through his spectacles. 'I never said anything about a team effort. And I didn't even see your spokesman.'
'Come on, man, just let me ask my riddle,' said Eduardo.
'Well...' said the ghost, his lips spreading into a sinister smile. 'All right.'
Eduardo took a deep breath, and felt Kylie slip her hand into his. Then he said, 'The village barber shaves all the men, and only the men, who don't shave themselves. Does the barber shave himself?'
For a moment, the ghost only stared. Then his brow creased into a deep, wrinkled frown and his eyes glowed red.
The ghost appeared in Professor Albright's chair, and looked narrowly at the quartet through his spectacles. 'I never said anything about a team effort. And I didn't even see your spokesman.'
'Come on, man, just let me ask my riddle,' said Eduardo.
'Well...' said the ghost, his lips spreading into a sinister smile. 'All right.'
Eduardo took a deep breath, and felt Kylie slip her hand into his. Then he said, 'The village barber shaves all the men, and only the men, who don't shave themselves. Does the barber shave himself?'
For a moment, the ghost only stared. Then his brow creased into a deep, wrinkled frown and his eyes glowed red.
Michael's kitchen had become a hive of activity. Jandro was standing at the sink dressed in a flowery apron, his sleeves rolled up almost to his shoulders and his hands submerged in dishwater, while Michael was on his knees scrubbing the legs of the kitchen table, and Kevin was sorting the laundry into light colours and dark colours.
'What are you doing to my underpants, Kev?' Michael asked suspiciously, glancing up.
'Just turning them the right way out, Mike,' Kevin replied. 'There, they can go in the light wash.'
'I still think laundry should be left to the moms, dude,' said Jandro, piling yet another dish onto the overfull draining board. 'It's a portal to a whole new world of trouble that we can't even begin to understand.'
'Don't be silly, Jandro – it's perfectly simple,' said Kevin. 'There, now I just put the soap powder in here... turn that to there... press that button... and bingo!'
The washing machine sloshed into life. Kevin stood back to admire his handiwork. His expression of satisfaction soon changed to one of horror, however, as a mass of fizzing soap bubbles suddenly started pouring out of the gaps around the edge of the detergent drawer and began to form a towering structure on the floor.
'Dios mío!' Kevin exclaimed in alarm, jabbing at the buttons on the washing machine for all he was worth. 'Stop! Pause! Cancel! Jandro, I need the sink, I need the sink, I need the sink!'
In one smooth motion, Jandro removed the washing up bowl from the sink and stepped away, making room for Kevin to run over with the detergent drawer held at arm's length in front of him and slam it under the tap.
'What the hell have you done to my mom's washing machine, Rivera?' Michael snarled from under the table.
'Nothing!' said Kevin. 'I just put the soap powder in the wrong part of the drawer – it'll be fine when I've rinsed it out.'
Kevin ran the drawer under the tap for ten more seconds, took it back over to the washing machine, dried it with a pair of socks from his pile of dark washing, and replaced it in the machine.
'There now,' he said, exhaling heavily. 'Kevin does the laundry, take two.'
Kevin poured a generous amount of soap powder into the correct section of the drawer and pushed it back in. He then pressed the appropriate buttons for a second time, and the washing machine started its cycle with no further problems.
'I told you not to mess with that stuff,' said Jandro, as he replaced his washing up bowl in the sink. 'Despite some indications to the contrary, you're not a middle-aged woman, Kev.'
Kevin frowned at Jandro in his flowery apron, came over to the sink, put a hand into the water and splashed Jandro in the face. Jandro giggled, and slapped a palm-full of bubbles into Kevin's face. Lucy appeared in the doorway.
'If you two have run out of work to do,' she said, 'you can come and move the couch for me.'
'Okay,' said Kevin, squeezing the contents of the washing up sponge into Jandro's hair, 'we'll be right there.'
'What are you doing to my underpants, Kev?' Michael asked suspiciously, glancing up.
'Just turning them the right way out, Mike,' Kevin replied. 'There, they can go in the light wash.'
'I still think laundry should be left to the moms, dude,' said Jandro, piling yet another dish onto the overfull draining board. 'It's a portal to a whole new world of trouble that we can't even begin to understand.'
'Don't be silly, Jandro – it's perfectly simple,' said Kevin. 'There, now I just put the soap powder in here... turn that to there... press that button... and bingo!'
The washing machine sloshed into life. Kevin stood back to admire his handiwork. His expression of satisfaction soon changed to one of horror, however, as a mass of fizzing soap bubbles suddenly started pouring out of the gaps around the edge of the detergent drawer and began to form a towering structure on the floor.
'Dios mío!' Kevin exclaimed in alarm, jabbing at the buttons on the washing machine for all he was worth. 'Stop! Pause! Cancel! Jandro, I need the sink, I need the sink, I need the sink!'
In one smooth motion, Jandro removed the washing up bowl from the sink and stepped away, making room for Kevin to run over with the detergent drawer held at arm's length in front of him and slam it under the tap.
'What the hell have you done to my mom's washing machine, Rivera?' Michael snarled from under the table.
'Nothing!' said Kevin. 'I just put the soap powder in the wrong part of the drawer – it'll be fine when I've rinsed it out.'
Kevin ran the drawer under the tap for ten more seconds, took it back over to the washing machine, dried it with a pair of socks from his pile of dark washing, and replaced it in the machine.
'There now,' he said, exhaling heavily. 'Kevin does the laundry, take two.'
Kevin poured a generous amount of soap powder into the correct section of the drawer and pushed it back in. He then pressed the appropriate buttons for a second time, and the washing machine started its cycle with no further problems.
'I told you not to mess with that stuff,' said Jandro, as he replaced his washing up bowl in the sink. 'Despite some indications to the contrary, you're not a middle-aged woman, Kev.'
Kevin frowned at Jandro in his flowery apron, came over to the sink, put a hand into the water and splashed Jandro in the face. Jandro giggled, and slapped a palm-full of bubbles into Kevin's face. Lucy appeared in the doorway.
'If you two have run out of work to do,' she said, 'you can come and move the couch for me.'
'Okay,' said Kevin, squeezing the contents of the washing up sponge into Jandro's hair, 'we'll be right there.'
The ghost in Professor Albright's chair had been reduced to a gibbering wreck. It sat there saying rapidly, 'But if he shaves himself, he can't shave himself... and if he doesn't shave himself, he must shave himself... but if –'
Then suddenly, the ghost exploded. The entire room and all its contents were showered with viscous grey ectoplasm.
'Oh, come on!' said Garrett, wiping the stuff from his eyes. 'Seriously?'
'Eduardo, you did it!' said Kylie, flinging her arms around him. 'That was amazing!'
'But,' said Eduardo, 'it blew up. We've never been able to blow anything up before. Querida, you always say it's not really gone when something like that happens, and you're always right.'
'Am I?' said Kylie, looking at the puddle where the ghost had been sitting. 'Well, I'm probably talking about the effect our equipment has on things. This is different – more like Tenebrach. I didn't say destroying the orb hadn't worked, did I? You defeated this guy with his own weapon.'
'It's true,' said Roland, clapping Eduardo on the back, and sending grey ectoplasm flying with a splat. 'Have a little more faith in yourself.'
'What is it you sometimes say to Kevin?' said Kylie. 'Never underestimate a Rivera? That's good advice, sweetie. I know that by now.'
'You weren't underestimating me today?' Eduardo said good-naturedly.
'Of course not,' said Kylie. 'I knew it was a good idea. I was just worried about you.'
'You guys,' said Garrett, 'I don't know about you, but I'm leaving before those professors come back and see what Eduardo did to their office.'
'Good point,' said Kylie. 'I'd say we should clean up, but I think this is a job for professionals.'
Then suddenly, the ghost exploded. The entire room and all its contents were showered with viscous grey ectoplasm.
'Oh, come on!' said Garrett, wiping the stuff from his eyes. 'Seriously?'
'Eduardo, you did it!' said Kylie, flinging her arms around him. 'That was amazing!'
'But,' said Eduardo, 'it blew up. We've never been able to blow anything up before. Querida, you always say it's not really gone when something like that happens, and you're always right.'
'Am I?' said Kylie, looking at the puddle where the ghost had been sitting. 'Well, I'm probably talking about the effect our equipment has on things. This is different – more like Tenebrach. I didn't say destroying the orb hadn't worked, did I? You defeated this guy with his own weapon.'
'It's true,' said Roland, clapping Eduardo on the back, and sending grey ectoplasm flying with a splat. 'Have a little more faith in yourself.'
'What is it you sometimes say to Kevin?' said Kylie. 'Never underestimate a Rivera? That's good advice, sweetie. I know that by now.'
'You weren't underestimating me today?' Eduardo said good-naturedly.
'Of course not,' said Kylie. 'I knew it was a good idea. I was just worried about you.'
'You guys,' said Garrett, 'I don't know about you, but I'm leaving before those professors come back and see what Eduardo did to their office.'
'Good point,' said Kylie. 'I'd say we should clean up, but I think this is a job for professionals.'
When Rita arrived in the kitchen, she found Kevin hanging clean laundry on a clothes horse and Michael scrubbing out the cupboard under the sink.
'Oh, hi,' Kevin beamed at her. 'I've just set off the dark load and Mikey's going to hang it up when it's done – aren't you, Mike?'
'Yes, Kev,' Michael's voice echoed from under the sink.
'Oh my goodness,' Rita breathed, clutching her chest as she looked at her kitchen in astonishment. 'I think I need to sit down.'
As Rita collapsed at the spotless kitchen table, Lucy entered the room with a sock in her hand.
'Would you look at this?' she said. 'I thought it was just a huge pile of dust under the basin but it turned out there was a sock buried right at the... oh, hello Mrs... Michael's mom.'
'It's Mrs Conway,' Michael's voice emerged from the cupboard. 'Like our make-believe city, remember?'
'Yeah, I know that's your name, Michael,' said Lucy. 'I just didn't know if your mom was married or... What should I do with this sock?'
'Too bad it's just missed the wash,' Kevin laughed. 'Never mind – I'll put it in the laundry basket for next time.'
Rita opened her mouth to speak as she watched Kevin dealing with the sock, but she closed it again as Jandro appeared in the kitchen.
'I finally got out the last of it, Kev,' he reported, 'but I'm afraid I used up all the bleach. Oh, hello, Mrs Conway... er, unless that's not your name...'
'It is,' Lucy assured him.
'Are there any more of you lurking back there?' Rita asked in bewilderment.
'No,' Kevin grinned, 'this is all of us.'
'Well, I... I don't know what to say,' said Rita. 'You've done such a wonderful job. Oh dear, I think I'm going to cry.'
'Mom!' Michael objected, finally standing up again. 'Not in front of my friends!'
'We're his friends now?' Lucy whispered to Jandro.
'I guess so,' Jandro whispered back.
'Thank you all so much,' Rita beamed, dabbing her damp eyes with a tissue. 'I never expected... never even dreamed...'
There suddenly came the sound of insistent honking from the street outside.
'That's my dad,' said Lucy. 'I'd recognise his honks anywhere. You come with me, Jandro – I'll get him to give you a ride home.'
'Okay,' said Jandro, 'thanks.'
'Bye, guys,' said Michael. 'Thanks for everything.'
'Yeah, no problem,' said Lucy. 'Kev, do you want a ride too?'
'No thanks,' said Kevin. 'It's only a few blocks, and it's out of your way.'
'Yeah, I guess so,' said Lucy, dragging Jandro out of the apartment. 'See you at school, Betty Crocker.'
'Bye, Kev,' Jandro added. 'Tomorrow I'll get you back for messing up my hair – you just see if I don't!'
'What a nice bunch of kids,' said Rita. 'Kevin, are you staying any longer?'
'I really should go home now,' said Kevin, 'or my mom'll start to worry. Goodnight, Mrs Conway.'
'Goodnight... and do call me Rita,' she returned. 'Such nice kids... I can hardly believe it...'
Michael followed Kevin out of the front door, and pulled it almost shut behind them.
'Bye, Kev,' he said. 'Thanks for... well, you know.'
'No problem,' said Kevin.
'You won't tell anyone any of those things I said yesterday, will you? You know, about Ella and my family and stuff...'
'Of course not, dude. So, are you gonna invite Ella over for those beans on toast tomorrow?'
'Oh, I don't know,' Michael shrugged. 'I guess I will, maybe... anyways, see you at school.'
Kevin gave him a winning smile, pulled the hood of his hooded top over his head, and set off into the street.
'Oh, hi,' Kevin beamed at her. 'I've just set off the dark load and Mikey's going to hang it up when it's done – aren't you, Mike?'
'Yes, Kev,' Michael's voice echoed from under the sink.
'Oh my goodness,' Rita breathed, clutching her chest as she looked at her kitchen in astonishment. 'I think I need to sit down.'
As Rita collapsed at the spotless kitchen table, Lucy entered the room with a sock in her hand.
'Would you look at this?' she said. 'I thought it was just a huge pile of dust under the basin but it turned out there was a sock buried right at the... oh, hello Mrs... Michael's mom.'
'It's Mrs Conway,' Michael's voice emerged from the cupboard. 'Like our make-believe city, remember?'
'Yeah, I know that's your name, Michael,' said Lucy. 'I just didn't know if your mom was married or... What should I do with this sock?'
'Too bad it's just missed the wash,' Kevin laughed. 'Never mind – I'll put it in the laundry basket for next time.'
Rita opened her mouth to speak as she watched Kevin dealing with the sock, but she closed it again as Jandro appeared in the kitchen.
'I finally got out the last of it, Kev,' he reported, 'but I'm afraid I used up all the bleach. Oh, hello, Mrs Conway... er, unless that's not your name...'
'It is,' Lucy assured him.
'Are there any more of you lurking back there?' Rita asked in bewilderment.
'No,' Kevin grinned, 'this is all of us.'
'Well, I... I don't know what to say,' said Rita. 'You've done such a wonderful job. Oh dear, I think I'm going to cry.'
'Mom!' Michael objected, finally standing up again. 'Not in front of my friends!'
'We're his friends now?' Lucy whispered to Jandro.
'I guess so,' Jandro whispered back.
'Thank you all so much,' Rita beamed, dabbing her damp eyes with a tissue. 'I never expected... never even dreamed...'
There suddenly came the sound of insistent honking from the street outside.
'That's my dad,' said Lucy. 'I'd recognise his honks anywhere. You come with me, Jandro – I'll get him to give you a ride home.'
'Okay,' said Jandro, 'thanks.'
'Bye, guys,' said Michael. 'Thanks for everything.'
'Yeah, no problem,' said Lucy. 'Kev, do you want a ride too?'
'No thanks,' said Kevin. 'It's only a few blocks, and it's out of your way.'
'Yeah, I guess so,' said Lucy, dragging Jandro out of the apartment. 'See you at school, Betty Crocker.'
'Bye, Kev,' Jandro added. 'Tomorrow I'll get you back for messing up my hair – you just see if I don't!'
'What a nice bunch of kids,' said Rita. 'Kevin, are you staying any longer?'
'I really should go home now,' said Kevin, 'or my mom'll start to worry. Goodnight, Mrs Conway.'
'Goodnight... and do call me Rita,' she returned. 'Such nice kids... I can hardly believe it...'
Michael followed Kevin out of the front door, and pulled it almost shut behind them.
'Bye, Kev,' he said. 'Thanks for... well, you know.'
'No problem,' said Kevin.
'You won't tell anyone any of those things I said yesterday, will you? You know, about Ella and my family and stuff...'
'Of course not, dude. So, are you gonna invite Ella over for those beans on toast tomorrow?'
'Oh, I don't know,' Michael shrugged. 'I guess I will, maybe... anyways, see you at school.'
Kevin gave him a winning smile, pulled the hood of his hooded top over his head, and set off into the street.
As Beth was approaching the front steps of her home with a bag of shopping in her hand, she saw a fairly tall hooded figure loping towards her along the sidewalk. She dropped her gaze and hurried up the steps.
'Mom!' Kevin's voice wafted along the sidewalk to her. 'Why are you ignoring me?'
'Oh, Kevin,' Beth breathed in relief, stopping halfway up the steps. 'I thought you were a hooded teenaged thug!'
'Oh, I see,' said Kevin, as he came up to join her. 'Sorry about the hoodie, but it's a pretty cold evening. Here, let me take that grocery bag.'
'Thanks,' said Beth, smiling at him as she passed it over.
'Say, Mom,' said Kevin, 'should I maybe do some laundry for you sometime over the weekend?'
'Well... yes, if you're sure you want to give it another try,' said Beth, as they walked up to the front door. 'You do remember what happened last time, don't you?'
'Yeah, I remember,' said Kevin, 'but I feel like I've really turned a corner since then, where laundry's concerned. You of all people should remember, Mom – never underestimate a Rivera.'
'I guess I should know that by now,' Beth laughed, as she turned and shut the front door behind them.
'Mom!' Kevin's voice wafted along the sidewalk to her. 'Why are you ignoring me?'
'Oh, Kevin,' Beth breathed in relief, stopping halfway up the steps. 'I thought you were a hooded teenaged thug!'
'Oh, I see,' said Kevin, as he came up to join her. 'Sorry about the hoodie, but it's a pretty cold evening. Here, let me take that grocery bag.'
'Thanks,' said Beth, smiling at him as she passed it over.
'Say, Mom,' said Kevin, 'should I maybe do some laundry for you sometime over the weekend?'
'Well... yes, if you're sure you want to give it another try,' said Beth, as they walked up to the front door. 'You do remember what happened last time, don't you?'
'Yeah, I remember,' said Kevin, 'but I feel like I've really turned a corner since then, where laundry's concerned. You of all people should remember, Mom – never underestimate a Rivera.'
'I guess I should know that by now,' Beth laughed, as she turned and shut the front door behind them.
Eduardo mooched into the hotel lounge, saw Roland looking through a bound sheaf of papers, and immediately turned to leave. Roland looked up and saw him.
'Eduardo!' he called. 'Are you trying to avoid the rest of us or something?'
'Well, I don't know, sort of,' said Eduardo, sinking into an armchair a few yards from Roland.
'You know,' said Roland, 'whatever it is, it might help to talk about it.'
'I don't think so.'
'Not even to Kylie?'
'Not today.'
'Okay,' said Roland. 'Let's talk about something else. You did well, you know. I don't get why you're not happier that your plan worked.'
'I didn't expect it to work so well. I just thought maybe I'd keep it busy until Egon got some equipment to us, or something like that. I wish we could check it's really gone.'
'I do know the feeling. You know what I'm like when I'm deprived of my equipment... kind of an anchor with no rope, I guess. You could make a pretty good anchor yourself, you know, if I ever had to haul myself in and... no, wait, I don't think I can do this whole thing as a metaphor.'
'Good,' said Eduardo. 'I don't like metaphors much. I think I get it, though. Thanks.'
'No problem.'
'So... are you leaving us after graduation, or have you still not decided?'
'Professor Solomon's course outline has almost made up my mind,' said Roland, indicating his sheaf of papers. 'It speaks to me... now that I've gotten most of the ectoplasm off it. But doesn't that kind of sound like I'm choosing a pile of papers over my girlfriend?'
'We already did this,' said Eduardo. 'T'Keyah gets it, and she wants to hang on to what you guys have no matter what you decide. But engineering doctorates don't see it that way.'
'Yeah?' said Roland. 'That sure sounds like a metaphor to me.'
'Actually I think it's personification.'
'Oh.'
'I got a metaphor too, though,' said Eduardo. 'I think. Yeah... okay, here it is. If you're not gonna be our anchor anymore, you know you'll always be the perfect bra, right?'
'Well,' said Roland, smiling slightly, 'I hope so.'
'I know so.'
'Eduardo!' he called. 'Are you trying to avoid the rest of us or something?'
'Well, I don't know, sort of,' said Eduardo, sinking into an armchair a few yards from Roland.
'You know,' said Roland, 'whatever it is, it might help to talk about it.'
'I don't think so.'
'Not even to Kylie?'
'Not today.'
'Okay,' said Roland. 'Let's talk about something else. You did well, you know. I don't get why you're not happier that your plan worked.'
'I didn't expect it to work so well. I just thought maybe I'd keep it busy until Egon got some equipment to us, or something like that. I wish we could check it's really gone.'
'I do know the feeling. You know what I'm like when I'm deprived of my equipment... kind of an anchor with no rope, I guess. You could make a pretty good anchor yourself, you know, if I ever had to haul myself in and... no, wait, I don't think I can do this whole thing as a metaphor.'
'Good,' said Eduardo. 'I don't like metaphors much. I think I get it, though. Thanks.'
'No problem.'
'So... are you leaving us after graduation, or have you still not decided?'
'Professor Solomon's course outline has almost made up my mind,' said Roland, indicating his sheaf of papers. 'It speaks to me... now that I've gotten most of the ectoplasm off it. But doesn't that kind of sound like I'm choosing a pile of papers over my girlfriend?'
'We already did this,' said Eduardo. 'T'Keyah gets it, and she wants to hang on to what you guys have no matter what you decide. But engineering doctorates don't see it that way.'
'Yeah?' said Roland. 'That sure sounds like a metaphor to me.'
'Actually I think it's personification.'
'Oh.'
'I got a metaphor too, though,' said Eduardo. 'I think. Yeah... okay, here it is. If you're not gonna be our anchor anymore, you know you'll always be the perfect bra, right?'
'Well,' said Roland, smiling slightly, 'I hope so.'
'I know so.'
Kevin was emerging from the restroom at school when he heard his name being called, as well as the sound of heavy footsteps running towards him.
'Kev!' said Michael, coming up to him at quite a pace. 'I did it – Ella's coming over to my place for beans on toast after school today!'
'I'm happy for you, Mike,' Kevin replied with a smile. 'Let me know how it goes, okay?'
'Okay,' said Michael. 'Well, maybe I won't give you all the details, huh?'
He laughed, thumped Kevin on the back, and entered the restroom. Kevin smiled, shook his head, and started walking along the corridor. After a few seconds, Lucy fell into stride beside him.
'I still don't get it, Kev,' she said. 'I mean, I get that you're a real nice guy, and I get that Michael's not so bad once you scratch the surface, and I get that we needed to do some serious work on our geography project... but overall, I don't get it.'
'I'm not sure I get it either, Luce, to be honest with you,' Kevin replied. 'I don't even know if there's really anything more to get. But anyway, it wasn't so bad, was it? I mean, you didn't hate it, right?'
'No,' Lucy laughed. 'No, I didn't hate it.'
'Well then,' said Kevin, 'I guess everything's worked out okay.'
'Yeah,' said Lucy, 'I guess it has.'
Kevin fixed her with a smile, then Jandro popped up and poured a load of pencil shavings into Kevin's hair, before giggling and running off down the corridor. Kevin chased after him. Lucy smiled, shook her head and followed.
'Kev!' said Michael, coming up to him at quite a pace. 'I did it – Ella's coming over to my place for beans on toast after school today!'
'I'm happy for you, Mike,' Kevin replied with a smile. 'Let me know how it goes, okay?'
'Okay,' said Michael. 'Well, maybe I won't give you all the details, huh?'
He laughed, thumped Kevin on the back, and entered the restroom. Kevin smiled, shook his head, and started walking along the corridor. After a few seconds, Lucy fell into stride beside him.
'I still don't get it, Kev,' she said. 'I mean, I get that you're a real nice guy, and I get that Michael's not so bad once you scratch the surface, and I get that we needed to do some serious work on our geography project... but overall, I don't get it.'
'I'm not sure I get it either, Luce, to be honest with you,' Kevin replied. 'I don't even know if there's really anything more to get. But anyway, it wasn't so bad, was it? I mean, you didn't hate it, right?'
'No,' Lucy laughed. 'No, I didn't hate it.'
'Well then,' said Kevin, 'I guess everything's worked out okay.'
'Yeah,' said Lucy, 'I guess it has.'
Kevin fixed her with a smile, then Jandro popped up and poured a load of pencil shavings into Kevin's hair, before giggling and running off down the corridor. Kevin chased after him. Lucy smiled, shook her head and followed.
