The Riveras Episode 9: March – Boys Will Be Boys
Written by Jake Collins
Kevin and Oscar were sitting on the floor of Oscar's bedroom, playing a board game. Oscar removed the garishly decorated plastic phone from his ear, put it back in its place on the board, and grinned.
'Great,' he said. 'The captain of the football team is taking me to prom, so I guess that trumps your drunken fumble with the captain of the basketball team!'
'Damn,' said Kevin, slapping his cards down onto the floor and noticing something over the top of Oscar's head as he did so. 'By the way, Jessica's coming upstairs.'
'Oh yeah?'
'Are you sure she won't mind us playing with her Dream Phone? I mean, you did borrow it without asking.'
Before Oscar could reply, Jessica stuck her head around the bedroom door.
'Oscar?' she said enquiringly, then she caught sight of the board game set out on the floor. 'Oh, you bast–!'
'Jess, where did you learn language like that?' Oscar cut in, genuinely shocked. 'Besides, you shouldn't mind me borrowing this – you never play with it yourself!'
'I do when you play it with me!' Jessica shot back. 'I think you only bought it for me because you wanted an excuse to buy it for yourself!'
'I bought it because I thought you'd like it,' said Oscar. 'I think that's very hurtful.'
'You shouldn't have borrowed it without asking me,' said Jessica, returning to her original point of view. 'You could've at least invited me to join in!'
'Well, you can join in now if you want,' said Oscar.
'Actually, I think I've just lost,' Kevin said, flicking through his cards one last time. 'Maybe we can all play a new round together.'
'No!' Jessica snarled. 'It's all spoiled now!'
She stomped off to her own bedroom and slammed the door. Oscar started to look uncomfortable.
'I hope she doesn't tell on me,' he said.
'Let's pack it up neatly, give it back to her and say we're sorry,' said Kevin. 'Maybe this time she'll forgive us, and we can all be friends.'
'Good idea,' said Oscar. 'Man, I can never get all these fiddly little pieces back in the right places.'
'I'll do it,' said Kevin. 'You pass them to me in appropriately categorised chunks.'
'Okay,' said Oscar. 'Thanks, dude.'
'Great,' he said. 'The captain of the football team is taking me to prom, so I guess that trumps your drunken fumble with the captain of the basketball team!'
'Damn,' said Kevin, slapping his cards down onto the floor and noticing something over the top of Oscar's head as he did so. 'By the way, Jessica's coming upstairs.'
'Oh yeah?'
'Are you sure she won't mind us playing with her Dream Phone? I mean, you did borrow it without asking.'
Before Oscar could reply, Jessica stuck her head around the bedroom door.
'Oscar?' she said enquiringly, then she caught sight of the board game set out on the floor. 'Oh, you bast–!'
'Jess, where did you learn language like that?' Oscar cut in, genuinely shocked. 'Besides, you shouldn't mind me borrowing this – you never play with it yourself!'
'I do when you play it with me!' Jessica shot back. 'I think you only bought it for me because you wanted an excuse to buy it for yourself!'
'I bought it because I thought you'd like it,' said Oscar. 'I think that's very hurtful.'
'You shouldn't have borrowed it without asking me,' said Jessica, returning to her original point of view. 'You could've at least invited me to join in!'
'Well, you can join in now if you want,' said Oscar.
'Actually, I think I've just lost,' Kevin said, flicking through his cards one last time. 'Maybe we can all play a new round together.'
'No!' Jessica snarled. 'It's all spoiled now!'
She stomped off to her own bedroom and slammed the door. Oscar started to look uncomfortable.
'I hope she doesn't tell on me,' he said.
'Let's pack it up neatly, give it back to her and say we're sorry,' said Kevin. 'Maybe this time she'll forgive us, and we can all be friends.'
'Good idea,' said Oscar. 'Man, I can never get all these fiddly little pieces back in the right places.'
'I'll do it,' said Kevin. 'You pass them to me in appropriately categorised chunks.'
'Okay,' said Oscar. 'Thanks, dude.'
It was bedtime, but Kevin and Oscar were not in bed; they were standing opposite each other in the middle of Oscar's bedroom.
'Go ahead,' said Kevin, 'give it a squeeze.'
Oscar reached out and did so. Kevin grinned at him.
'You can squeeze a little harder if you want to,' he said.
Oscar squeezed as hard as he could, but found that his fingers barely made an impression on Kevin's skin.
'That's amazing, dude,' Oscar remarked. 'How did you get it so big and firm?'
'It just kinda grew that way, man,' said Kevin. 'I guess I get it from my dad.'
Kevin relaxed his muscles, pulled down the sleeves of his T-shirt and shook out his arms, while Oscar rolled up his sleeves and flexed his arms for Kevin to examine.
'Okay, now you check out mine,' Oscar invited.
'All right,' said Kevin. 'Make a muscle.'
'I was!' Oscar declared indignantly.
Kevin grinned. Oscar slapped him on the chest with such force that he fell back onto the bed.
'Okay, okay,' Kevin laughed, 'I'm sorry, man. It's impressive... really, it is.'
'Get up and feel it properly,' Oscar instructed, 'or I'll pin you to the bed and I'll never let you up again.'
'I'd like to see you try,' Kevin said teasingly, 'with those weak guns of yours.'
Taking the bait, Oscar slammed himself down onto the bed and pinned Kevin by the shoulders as hard as he could. Jessica passed by the slightly open bedroom door at that moment, stopping to stare in surprise at the wriggling, laughing mass of male adolescence on the bed. She moved on towards her own bedroom as Kevin wormed his way onto the floor.
'Okay, okay, pax,' said Kevin, as he crawled over towards his mattress. 'I was only joking, bro – you're built, there's no denying it.'
'My karate instructor gave me a whole set of exercises to help build muscle tone,' said Oscar, examining his right bicep with a critical eye. 'You just wait 'til I've been doing them a few more months, then we'll see who has weak guns.'
'I'm looking forward to it,' Kevin grinned at him. 'So, er... are we going to bed or do you have anything more interesting we can do first?'
'You're probably gonna get cold in the night if you go to bed dressed like that,' said Oscar, looking his companion up and down appraisingly. 'You can borrow a pair of my pyjama bottoms if you like.'
'I wasn't gonna say anything about it, dude,' said Kevin, eyeing the blue pyjama bottoms that Oscar himself was wearing, 'but I thought you only wore men's pyjamas.'
'Ordinarily I do,' said Oscar, 'but when it gets cold I sometimes wear boys' pyjama bottoms.'
'But you don't wear boys' pyjama tops?' Kevin asked, moving his gaze up to Oscar's T-shirt.
'God, no!' said Oscar. 'I can't stand the feel of them! It has to be a T-shirt on the top half... or nothing if it's hot.'
'Yes, I do that now as well, thanks to you,' said Kevin. 'So how many pairs of boys' pyjamas do you have?'
'Four or five.'
'But you only wear the bottoms?'
'Yeah.'
'So where are all the shirts?'
'Oh, somewhere in the back of my closet,' Oscar shrugged. 'Plus I think Jess uses some of them for nightshirts – she's always trying to steal my clothes. My mom says we shouldn't throw them out so we can donate the whole bunch of complete pyjama sets when I grow out of them.'
'Oh yeah, I guess that makes sense,' said Kevin. 'So you usually wear men's pyjamas, but if it's cold you wear boys' pyjama bottoms and if it's hot you wear men's pyjamas without the T-shirt?'
'Just underpants, yes,' Oscar smiled in amusement.
'Do you ever wear boys' pyjama bottoms without a T-shirt?' Kevin asked.
'Um... yeah, sometimes,' said Oscar, 'if it's too hot for a T-shirt but not hot enough for just underpants. Now do you want to borrow a pair of my boys' pyjama bottoms or not?'
'Yes please,' said Kevin.
Oscar gave him a wry smile before crossing over to his closet; he threw a pair of red pyjama bottoms at Kevin's head a few seconds later.
'Thanks,' said Kevin, removing the bottom part of his men's pyjamas and pulling on the boys' pyjama bottoms in its place. 'Say, this is nice material – very soft.'
'I'm glad you like it,' said Oscar. 'Now, you said you wanted something interesting to do before bed, didn't you?'
'Yeah,' said Kevin, 'if you've got something...'
'Aren't you tired?'
'Kinda, but... y'know, not too much.'
'Yeah, me too,' said Oscar. 'We'll take a look through a few more of those magazines, shall we?'
'Yes,' said Kevin, 'let's do that!'
'Go ahead,' said Kevin, 'give it a squeeze.'
Oscar reached out and did so. Kevin grinned at him.
'You can squeeze a little harder if you want to,' he said.
Oscar squeezed as hard as he could, but found that his fingers barely made an impression on Kevin's skin.
'That's amazing, dude,' Oscar remarked. 'How did you get it so big and firm?'
'It just kinda grew that way, man,' said Kevin. 'I guess I get it from my dad.'
Kevin relaxed his muscles, pulled down the sleeves of his T-shirt and shook out his arms, while Oscar rolled up his sleeves and flexed his arms for Kevin to examine.
'Okay, now you check out mine,' Oscar invited.
'All right,' said Kevin. 'Make a muscle.'
'I was!' Oscar declared indignantly.
Kevin grinned. Oscar slapped him on the chest with such force that he fell back onto the bed.
'Okay, okay,' Kevin laughed, 'I'm sorry, man. It's impressive... really, it is.'
'Get up and feel it properly,' Oscar instructed, 'or I'll pin you to the bed and I'll never let you up again.'
'I'd like to see you try,' Kevin said teasingly, 'with those weak guns of yours.'
Taking the bait, Oscar slammed himself down onto the bed and pinned Kevin by the shoulders as hard as he could. Jessica passed by the slightly open bedroom door at that moment, stopping to stare in surprise at the wriggling, laughing mass of male adolescence on the bed. She moved on towards her own bedroom as Kevin wormed his way onto the floor.
'Okay, okay, pax,' said Kevin, as he crawled over towards his mattress. 'I was only joking, bro – you're built, there's no denying it.'
'My karate instructor gave me a whole set of exercises to help build muscle tone,' said Oscar, examining his right bicep with a critical eye. 'You just wait 'til I've been doing them a few more months, then we'll see who has weak guns.'
'I'm looking forward to it,' Kevin grinned at him. 'So, er... are we going to bed or do you have anything more interesting we can do first?'
'You're probably gonna get cold in the night if you go to bed dressed like that,' said Oscar, looking his companion up and down appraisingly. 'You can borrow a pair of my pyjama bottoms if you like.'
'I wasn't gonna say anything about it, dude,' said Kevin, eyeing the blue pyjama bottoms that Oscar himself was wearing, 'but I thought you only wore men's pyjamas.'
'Ordinarily I do,' said Oscar, 'but when it gets cold I sometimes wear boys' pyjama bottoms.'
'But you don't wear boys' pyjama tops?' Kevin asked, moving his gaze up to Oscar's T-shirt.
'God, no!' said Oscar. 'I can't stand the feel of them! It has to be a T-shirt on the top half... or nothing if it's hot.'
'Yes, I do that now as well, thanks to you,' said Kevin. 'So how many pairs of boys' pyjamas do you have?'
'Four or five.'
'But you only wear the bottoms?'
'Yeah.'
'So where are all the shirts?'
'Oh, somewhere in the back of my closet,' Oscar shrugged. 'Plus I think Jess uses some of them for nightshirts – she's always trying to steal my clothes. My mom says we shouldn't throw them out so we can donate the whole bunch of complete pyjama sets when I grow out of them.'
'Oh yeah, I guess that makes sense,' said Kevin. 'So you usually wear men's pyjamas, but if it's cold you wear boys' pyjama bottoms and if it's hot you wear men's pyjamas without the T-shirt?'
'Just underpants, yes,' Oscar smiled in amusement.
'Do you ever wear boys' pyjama bottoms without a T-shirt?' Kevin asked.
'Um... yeah, sometimes,' said Oscar, 'if it's too hot for a T-shirt but not hot enough for just underpants. Now do you want to borrow a pair of my boys' pyjama bottoms or not?'
'Yes please,' said Kevin.
Oscar gave him a wry smile before crossing over to his closet; he threw a pair of red pyjama bottoms at Kevin's head a few seconds later.
'Thanks,' said Kevin, removing the bottom part of his men's pyjamas and pulling on the boys' pyjama bottoms in its place. 'Say, this is nice material – very soft.'
'I'm glad you like it,' said Oscar. 'Now, you said you wanted something interesting to do before bed, didn't you?'
'Yeah,' said Kevin, 'if you've got something...'
'Aren't you tired?'
'Kinda, but... y'know, not too much.'
'Yeah, me too,' said Oscar. 'We'll take a look through a few more of those magazines, shall we?'
'Yes,' said Kevin, 'let's do that!'
The next morning, Oscar and Kevin entered the kitchen still dressed in their modified men's pyjamas. They found Peter at the stove, pushing a collection of blackened lumps around the bottom of a frying pan.
'Hey there, champ,' he said. 'And hey there, Kevin. Can I interest either of you in a nutritious and delicious fried breakfast?'
'That's okay, Dad,' Oscar said hurriedly. 'I'll just get us both some cereal.'
'Okay, but you don't know what you're missing,' said Peter.
'I think we can take a pretty good guess,' Oscar muttered as he fetched down the cornflakes from a high cupboard, and Kevin giggled behind his hand.
'Are you boys ready to catch some big ones?' asked Peter.
'Do what, Dad?' asked Oscar.
'Catch some big fish, champ,' Peter elaborated. 'Some of the catfish in that river are as big as... well, as big as you... bigger, even!'
'If you're going by the height chart on the back of the kitchen door,' Oscar said dryly, 'I think it's a couple of feet out of date.'
'I'm sure it'll be a fun day,' Kevin piped up.
'You know, dude, we don't have to go fishing if you don't want to,' said Oscar. 'We could do something else instead, couldn't we, Dad?'
'Well, I don't know, sport,' said Peter. 'I've booked the designated fishing area for three hours – it cost me sixty dollars!'
'I really don't mind going,' said Kevin. 'I'd like to see some of that beautiful Connecticut countryside.'
'Fine, we'll go,' Oscar said with bad grace. 'But do we really have to take Jessica with us?'
'Now Oscar, you know your mom needs some time alone to prepare for her job interview,' said Peter. 'We're all going to get out of the house and give her some space, and we're all going to have a fantastic time fishing!'
Oscar mumbled something incomprehensible and stared into his bowl of cornflakes. Kevin fixed him with an amused expression.
'You hear that, man?' he said encouragingly. 'It's gonna be fantastic!'
Oscar laughed, and kicked Kevin under the table.
'Shut up, dude,' he said.
'Hey there, champ,' he said. 'And hey there, Kevin. Can I interest either of you in a nutritious and delicious fried breakfast?'
'That's okay, Dad,' Oscar said hurriedly. 'I'll just get us both some cereal.'
'Okay, but you don't know what you're missing,' said Peter.
'I think we can take a pretty good guess,' Oscar muttered as he fetched down the cornflakes from a high cupboard, and Kevin giggled behind his hand.
'Are you boys ready to catch some big ones?' asked Peter.
'Do what, Dad?' asked Oscar.
'Catch some big fish, champ,' Peter elaborated. 'Some of the catfish in that river are as big as... well, as big as you... bigger, even!'
'If you're going by the height chart on the back of the kitchen door,' Oscar said dryly, 'I think it's a couple of feet out of date.'
'I'm sure it'll be a fun day,' Kevin piped up.
'You know, dude, we don't have to go fishing if you don't want to,' said Oscar. 'We could do something else instead, couldn't we, Dad?'
'Well, I don't know, sport,' said Peter. 'I've booked the designated fishing area for three hours – it cost me sixty dollars!'
'I really don't mind going,' said Kevin. 'I'd like to see some of that beautiful Connecticut countryside.'
'Fine, we'll go,' Oscar said with bad grace. 'But do we really have to take Jessica with us?'
'Now Oscar, you know your mom needs some time alone to prepare for her job interview,' said Peter. 'We're all going to get out of the house and give her some space, and we're all going to have a fantastic time fishing!'
Oscar mumbled something incomprehensible and stared into his bowl of cornflakes. Kevin fixed him with an amused expression.
'You hear that, man?' he said encouragingly. 'It's gonna be fantastic!'
Oscar laughed, and kicked Kevin under the table.
'Shut up, dude,' he said.
Peter's car emerged around the side of a mountain and drew to a halt against a protruding knoll of grass and rock.
'That'll do,' Peter remarked. 'Fishing spot's just at the bottom of the hill there. Jess, can you do me a favour and make sure the back windows are closed while I get the cooler out of the trunk?'
'Okay, Dad,' said Jessica.
Much to her annoyance, Jessica discovered that she was unable to close one of the windows as Kevin was in the process of shoving Oscar through it. Oscar laughed as he flopped onto the ground.
'Why did you defenestrate me, dude?' he asked.
'I don't know,' Kevin grinned, as he climbed through the window himself. 'I just thought it'd be funny.'
Jessica scowled at Kevin's rapidly disappearing feet, before leaning over and closing the window behind them. She then climbed out of the other side of the car, and walked around the vehicle to find Kevin and Oscar scuffling on the ground, obviously not making any real attempt to stand up. She frowned at them, and cocked her head to one side.
'Okay,' said Peter, as he slammed the car boot shut, 'is everybody ready?'
Kevin and Oscar hastily got to their feet and nodded their heads. Jessica gave Peter an ingratiating smile, which he immediately returned.
'Here, sport, can you take this box of bait for me?' he said.
'Sure, Dad,' said Jessica.
'If you two can take three rods between you,' Peter said to Kevin and Oscar, 'I'll bring the cooler and the collapsible stools.'
So laden, the company made its way down the steep path to the river. Peter quickly set up the fishing equipment while Oscar mooched around with a pained expression on his face. Kevin stood dutifully next to him.
'I'm gonna make a daisy chain, Dad,' Jessica announced. 'Is that okay?'
'Of course, sweetheart – just stay where I can see you,' said Peter. 'Now then, you two, are you ready to go fishing?'
'Fishing's boring!' Oscar replied disagreeably.
'But we haven't even started yet,' said Peter. 'Maybe the catfish are really chomping today – you never know your luck!'
'I don't care,' said Oscar. 'I hate fishing – I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!'
'Hey, I know,' said Kevin, 'why don't we – me and Oscar, I mean – go for a walk in the woods? We can work off a little energy, and maybe we'll feel like doing some fishing when we get back.'
'That's a good idea, Kevin,' said Peter. 'Yes, a very sensible plan, all things considered. Here, you'd better take a bottle of water each.'
Peter opened the cooler and started rummaging around inside. He removed a can of beer and set it on the ground.
'Is that for us?' said Oscar.
'No, Oscar, I'm not giving you beer,' said Peter. 'It's for me.'
'Don't drink too much, will you?' said Oscar. 'You've got to drive home, remember.'
'I only brought two cans,' said Peter. 'Here, take your water.'
Kevin and Oscar took a water bottle each, and turned towards the nearby line of trees.
'Don't go too far and get lost!' said Peter.
'We won't, Dad!' Oscar called over his shoulder.
Peter frowned slightly as he watched his two young charges disappearing into the forest, then he turned back to the river and cast his fishing line.
'That'll do,' Peter remarked. 'Fishing spot's just at the bottom of the hill there. Jess, can you do me a favour and make sure the back windows are closed while I get the cooler out of the trunk?'
'Okay, Dad,' said Jessica.
Much to her annoyance, Jessica discovered that she was unable to close one of the windows as Kevin was in the process of shoving Oscar through it. Oscar laughed as he flopped onto the ground.
'Why did you defenestrate me, dude?' he asked.
'I don't know,' Kevin grinned, as he climbed through the window himself. 'I just thought it'd be funny.'
Jessica scowled at Kevin's rapidly disappearing feet, before leaning over and closing the window behind them. She then climbed out of the other side of the car, and walked around the vehicle to find Kevin and Oscar scuffling on the ground, obviously not making any real attempt to stand up. She frowned at them, and cocked her head to one side.
'Okay,' said Peter, as he slammed the car boot shut, 'is everybody ready?'
Kevin and Oscar hastily got to their feet and nodded their heads. Jessica gave Peter an ingratiating smile, which he immediately returned.
'Here, sport, can you take this box of bait for me?' he said.
'Sure, Dad,' said Jessica.
'If you two can take three rods between you,' Peter said to Kevin and Oscar, 'I'll bring the cooler and the collapsible stools.'
So laden, the company made its way down the steep path to the river. Peter quickly set up the fishing equipment while Oscar mooched around with a pained expression on his face. Kevin stood dutifully next to him.
'I'm gonna make a daisy chain, Dad,' Jessica announced. 'Is that okay?'
'Of course, sweetheart – just stay where I can see you,' said Peter. 'Now then, you two, are you ready to go fishing?'
'Fishing's boring!' Oscar replied disagreeably.
'But we haven't even started yet,' said Peter. 'Maybe the catfish are really chomping today – you never know your luck!'
'I don't care,' said Oscar. 'I hate fishing – I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!'
'Hey, I know,' said Kevin, 'why don't we – me and Oscar, I mean – go for a walk in the woods? We can work off a little energy, and maybe we'll feel like doing some fishing when we get back.'
'That's a good idea, Kevin,' said Peter. 'Yes, a very sensible plan, all things considered. Here, you'd better take a bottle of water each.'
Peter opened the cooler and started rummaging around inside. He removed a can of beer and set it on the ground.
'Is that for us?' said Oscar.
'No, Oscar, I'm not giving you beer,' said Peter. 'It's for me.'
'Don't drink too much, will you?' said Oscar. 'You've got to drive home, remember.'
'I only brought two cans,' said Peter. 'Here, take your water.'
Kevin and Oscar took a water bottle each, and turned towards the nearby line of trees.
'Don't go too far and get lost!' said Peter.
'We won't, Dad!' Oscar called over his shoulder.
Peter frowned slightly as he watched his two young charges disappearing into the forest, then he turned back to the river and cast his fishing line.
'It just proves that he thinks fishing's boring too,' said Oscar, ducking to avoid a low branch, 'if he has to get drunk to enjoy it!'
'I think he's right, man – he won't get drunk on two cans,' said Kevin.
'He's probably got some more stashed at the bottom,' said Oscar. 'Drunken old sod!'
Kevin laughed, and punched Oscar on the arm. Oscar smiled, and punched him back.
'I'm glad you're here, dude,' said Oscar. 'And I'm glad you suggested going for a walk – I needed to get away from my family for a while.'
'Yeah, I know how you feel,' said Kevin. 'Did you see the weird look Jessica was giving us when we got out of the car?'
'Oh, she's always giving me weird looks,' said Oscar. 'Don't let it worry you, dude. I find lots of things she does hard to understand. Sometimes she cries and I don't know why. I figure there must be a reason. Unless she's faking it, of course.'
'I bet she isn't, man,' said Kevin. 'Sometimes if you're hurting and there's nothing else you can do about it... well, you can't fake that.'
'I guess not,' said Oscar.
There followed a brief pause.
'Do you do it, then?' Oscar asked at length.
'Do what?' said Kevin.
'Cry,' said Oscar.
'I'm surprised you have to ask – you've seen me doing everything I do,' said Kevin.
'Yeah, I guess I have,' Oscar said with a small smile. 'I saw you getting a little teary when you were talking to that guy in the hospital about your granddad, but I've never seen you really, really cry.'
'One day last summer I went by mi abuelo's old house and I just stood and stared at it for five minutes,' said Kevin. 'I really cried then.'
'Were you thinking of the past?'
'Yeah.'
'What happened after five minutes?'
'I saw someone in the front window giving me a suspicious look, so I left.'
'Why did you go there?'
'Just to think... and to remember.'
'Can you really remember all that stuff that happened when you were so young?' asked Oscar.
'Well, I don't really have memories of specific incidents,' said Kevin. 'It's more of... well, an overall picture, I guess – a lasting impression of what it was like and how I felt.'
'I know what you mean, dude,' said Oscar.
'There's nothing in that old house for me now – I know that,' Kevin sighed. 'It's here.'
Oscar saw that Kevin was clutching his chest, and was starting to look a little downcast; he put an arm around him.
'Sorry, dude,' he said. 'I didn't mean to make you cry now.'
'It's okay,' Kevin laughed. 'It's just that sometimes I wish... I wish I could talk to my dad about this stuff – I wish he'd tell me things he remembers about my granddad, but I know he'd hate it if I asked him to.'
'You can talk to Eduardo about that stuff, though, can't you?'
'Yeah, and that's great, but he's only nine years older than me – he doesn't remember the really old stuff... the stuff I'd love to talk about.'
'You should tell your dad how you feel, bro.'
'Yeah, well... maybe.'
'I wish I didn't have to see my father,' Oscar announced unexpectedly.
'You mean your biological father?' asked Kevin.
'Yeah,' said Oscar.
'Don't you like him?'
'He's okay, I guess. I just... I hate the plane journey so much!'
'What about when you get there?' Kevin asked. 'How do you feel then?'
'I feel... out of place,' said Oscar. 'He's got this whole other life that I don't fit into... with this whole other family that I'm not really a part of. He's got pictures of his other kids all over the house, but none of me... it's hard to see that, when I'm there.'
'Does your mom send him pictures of you?'
'She definitely used to... I'm not sure if she does now. But I emailed him a whole bunch of snaps of me with my guitar last month – I thought he'd like to see me with my guitar – and he never even replied!'
'That's tough, man,' said Kevin.
'I know he's busy with work,' Oscar sighed, 'but you'd think he'd have time...'
'Parents should always have time for their kids,' said Kevin.
'I don't even care that much,' Oscar shrugged. 'I mean, I've got a great dad – Peter's my dad and he always has been, and he does a great job... don't tell him I said that, will you?'
'Of course not, man,' said Kevin. 'My dad doesn't do a great job, but I know he really wants to... and he tries to... kind of.'
'That's a lot more than Andre does,' Oscar smiled ruefully.
'Do you have to see him?' Kevin asked. 'I mean, is there a court order in place or something?'
'No,' said Oscar, 'but I guess he could get one if I stopped going to see him... if he wanted to get one.'
'Do you think he would?'
'I don't know... it wouldn't surprise me either way.'
'You should tell your mom how you feel,' Kevin advised.
'Just like you should tell your dad,' said Oscar.
'Yeah,' Kevin laughed. 'Say, man, I think we're lost.'
'Are we?' Oscar asked in surprise. 'No, we can't be.'
'I don't recognise that hill,' said Kevin, 'or that massive dip in the ground over there. I really thought we were heading back toward the river, but... well, now I'm not so sure.'
'The river can't be too hard to find,' said Oscar. 'Even if we've come a different way, we're bound to come back to it eventually.'
'Unless we're just walking round in circles.'
'Let's pick a landmark and make for it, then listen out to see if we're near the river. Even if we come out further down, we can follow it back up to the fishing spot.'
'Yeah, that's a good idea,' said Kevin. 'You're obviously a born survivor, bro.'
'Oh, I've just been to summer camp a couple of times,' Oscar shrugged. 'Come on, let's try for that rocky area – I think it's roughly in the right direction.'
'Okay,' said Kevin.
'I think he's right, man – he won't get drunk on two cans,' said Kevin.
'He's probably got some more stashed at the bottom,' said Oscar. 'Drunken old sod!'
Kevin laughed, and punched Oscar on the arm. Oscar smiled, and punched him back.
'I'm glad you're here, dude,' said Oscar. 'And I'm glad you suggested going for a walk – I needed to get away from my family for a while.'
'Yeah, I know how you feel,' said Kevin. 'Did you see the weird look Jessica was giving us when we got out of the car?'
'Oh, she's always giving me weird looks,' said Oscar. 'Don't let it worry you, dude. I find lots of things she does hard to understand. Sometimes she cries and I don't know why. I figure there must be a reason. Unless she's faking it, of course.'
'I bet she isn't, man,' said Kevin. 'Sometimes if you're hurting and there's nothing else you can do about it... well, you can't fake that.'
'I guess not,' said Oscar.
There followed a brief pause.
'Do you do it, then?' Oscar asked at length.
'Do what?' said Kevin.
'Cry,' said Oscar.
'I'm surprised you have to ask – you've seen me doing everything I do,' said Kevin.
'Yeah, I guess I have,' Oscar said with a small smile. 'I saw you getting a little teary when you were talking to that guy in the hospital about your granddad, but I've never seen you really, really cry.'
'One day last summer I went by mi abuelo's old house and I just stood and stared at it for five minutes,' said Kevin. 'I really cried then.'
'Were you thinking of the past?'
'Yeah.'
'What happened after five minutes?'
'I saw someone in the front window giving me a suspicious look, so I left.'
'Why did you go there?'
'Just to think... and to remember.'
'Can you really remember all that stuff that happened when you were so young?' asked Oscar.
'Well, I don't really have memories of specific incidents,' said Kevin. 'It's more of... well, an overall picture, I guess – a lasting impression of what it was like and how I felt.'
'I know what you mean, dude,' said Oscar.
'There's nothing in that old house for me now – I know that,' Kevin sighed. 'It's here.'
Oscar saw that Kevin was clutching his chest, and was starting to look a little downcast; he put an arm around him.
'Sorry, dude,' he said. 'I didn't mean to make you cry now.'
'It's okay,' Kevin laughed. 'It's just that sometimes I wish... I wish I could talk to my dad about this stuff – I wish he'd tell me things he remembers about my granddad, but I know he'd hate it if I asked him to.'
'You can talk to Eduardo about that stuff, though, can't you?'
'Yeah, and that's great, but he's only nine years older than me – he doesn't remember the really old stuff... the stuff I'd love to talk about.'
'You should tell your dad how you feel, bro.'
'Yeah, well... maybe.'
'I wish I didn't have to see my father,' Oscar announced unexpectedly.
'You mean your biological father?' asked Kevin.
'Yeah,' said Oscar.
'Don't you like him?'
'He's okay, I guess. I just... I hate the plane journey so much!'
'What about when you get there?' Kevin asked. 'How do you feel then?'
'I feel... out of place,' said Oscar. 'He's got this whole other life that I don't fit into... with this whole other family that I'm not really a part of. He's got pictures of his other kids all over the house, but none of me... it's hard to see that, when I'm there.'
'Does your mom send him pictures of you?'
'She definitely used to... I'm not sure if she does now. But I emailed him a whole bunch of snaps of me with my guitar last month – I thought he'd like to see me with my guitar – and he never even replied!'
'That's tough, man,' said Kevin.
'I know he's busy with work,' Oscar sighed, 'but you'd think he'd have time...'
'Parents should always have time for their kids,' said Kevin.
'I don't even care that much,' Oscar shrugged. 'I mean, I've got a great dad – Peter's my dad and he always has been, and he does a great job... don't tell him I said that, will you?'
'Of course not, man,' said Kevin. 'My dad doesn't do a great job, but I know he really wants to... and he tries to... kind of.'
'That's a lot more than Andre does,' Oscar smiled ruefully.
'Do you have to see him?' Kevin asked. 'I mean, is there a court order in place or something?'
'No,' said Oscar, 'but I guess he could get one if I stopped going to see him... if he wanted to get one.'
'Do you think he would?'
'I don't know... it wouldn't surprise me either way.'
'You should tell your mom how you feel,' Kevin advised.
'Just like you should tell your dad,' said Oscar.
'Yeah,' Kevin laughed. 'Say, man, I think we're lost.'
'Are we?' Oscar asked in surprise. 'No, we can't be.'
'I don't recognise that hill,' said Kevin, 'or that massive dip in the ground over there. I really thought we were heading back toward the river, but... well, now I'm not so sure.'
'The river can't be too hard to find,' said Oscar. 'Even if we've come a different way, we're bound to come back to it eventually.'
'Unless we're just walking round in circles.'
'Let's pick a landmark and make for it, then listen out to see if we're near the river. Even if we come out further down, we can follow it back up to the fishing spot.'
'Yeah, that's a good idea,' said Kevin. 'You're obviously a born survivor, bro.'
'Oh, I've just been to summer camp a couple of times,' Oscar shrugged. 'Come on, let's try for that rocky area – I think it's roughly in the right direction.'
'Okay,' said Kevin.
Kevin and Oscar were standing in front of a large tree, facing the trunk.
'I'm not so sure we should be doing this,' said Oscar.
'I don't know about you, bro, but I really need to do this,' said Kevin. 'It must be all that water we drank as we came along.'
'Yeah, but I'm not sure we should just be letting it soak into the ground,' Oscar elaborated. 'Maybe we should be saving it... in our empty water bottles.'
'What for?' said Kevin.
'Well, you know,' said Oscar. 'In case we need it later on... to drink, I mean.'
'Do you really think we've reached the stage of drinking our own pee?'
'Well, we don't have anything else to drink. And really we should be drinking each other's.'
'What, you mean just generally, or only when we're dying of dehydration?' Kevin asked wryly.
'Only when we're dying of dehydration,' Oscar laughed. 'If we drink our own pee then we're putting toxins from our bodies back inside, but if we drink each other's then we're putting in toxins that we haven't already gotten rid of.'
'And that's better, is it?'
'Yeah, I think so.'
'Hmm, well I hope you won't take it as an insult if I say I don't want to drink your pee just yet,' said Kevin.
'Of course not, dude,' said Oscar. 'You don't mind if I have a sip of yours though, right?'
Kevin gave Oscar a look, and Oscar grinned back at him. Kevin punched him on the arm and then did up his trousers.
'Come on,' he said, 'let's get moving.'
Kevin stepped backwards, caught his left foot in a rut in the uneven forest floor, stumbled and fell over.
'Oh my God,' said Oscar, 'are you okay?'
'Yeah... yeah, I think so,' said Kevin, as he pulled himself into a sitting position. 'Jeez, my ankle hurts – I think I've twisted it.'
'Let me help you up,' said Oscar. 'Man, I hope you can still walk.'
Oscar held out his right hand and Kevin grasped it; with their combined efforts, Kevin managed to get back up to his feet. He tested his left ankle by putting a little weight on it, then he took a few tentative steps.
'It's pretty painful,' he said, 'but it'll probably wear off after a while. We'd better get moving.'
'Are you sure you're okay to walk?' said Oscar.
'I'll just have to be,' Kevin shrugged.
'Take my arm, at least until the pain wears off a little,' said Oscar. 'Maybe we can reduce the weight you're putting on the ankle.'
'Okay,' said Kevin. 'Thanks.'
Oscar held out his right arm and Kevin looped his left arm through it. They took a few steps forward, Kevin's left foot barely touching the ground.
'That's a lot better,' said Kevin. 'Thanks, bro.'
'Don't be silly,' said Oscar. 'We're in this together, right?'
'Right,' said Kevin. 'Any idea where we're going now?'
'We'll follow this dried-up stream,' said Oscar. 'It probably leads to the river, eventually.'
'Yeah,' said Kevin, 'I sure hope so.'
'I'm not so sure we should be doing this,' said Oscar.
'I don't know about you, bro, but I really need to do this,' said Kevin. 'It must be all that water we drank as we came along.'
'Yeah, but I'm not sure we should just be letting it soak into the ground,' Oscar elaborated. 'Maybe we should be saving it... in our empty water bottles.'
'What for?' said Kevin.
'Well, you know,' said Oscar. 'In case we need it later on... to drink, I mean.'
'Do you really think we've reached the stage of drinking our own pee?'
'Well, we don't have anything else to drink. And really we should be drinking each other's.'
'What, you mean just generally, or only when we're dying of dehydration?' Kevin asked wryly.
'Only when we're dying of dehydration,' Oscar laughed. 'If we drink our own pee then we're putting toxins from our bodies back inside, but if we drink each other's then we're putting in toxins that we haven't already gotten rid of.'
'And that's better, is it?'
'Yeah, I think so.'
'Hmm, well I hope you won't take it as an insult if I say I don't want to drink your pee just yet,' said Kevin.
'Of course not, dude,' said Oscar. 'You don't mind if I have a sip of yours though, right?'
Kevin gave Oscar a look, and Oscar grinned back at him. Kevin punched him on the arm and then did up his trousers.
'Come on,' he said, 'let's get moving.'
Kevin stepped backwards, caught his left foot in a rut in the uneven forest floor, stumbled and fell over.
'Oh my God,' said Oscar, 'are you okay?'
'Yeah... yeah, I think so,' said Kevin, as he pulled himself into a sitting position. 'Jeez, my ankle hurts – I think I've twisted it.'
'Let me help you up,' said Oscar. 'Man, I hope you can still walk.'
Oscar held out his right hand and Kevin grasped it; with their combined efforts, Kevin managed to get back up to his feet. He tested his left ankle by putting a little weight on it, then he took a few tentative steps.
'It's pretty painful,' he said, 'but it'll probably wear off after a while. We'd better get moving.'
'Are you sure you're okay to walk?' said Oscar.
'I'll just have to be,' Kevin shrugged.
'Take my arm, at least until the pain wears off a little,' said Oscar. 'Maybe we can reduce the weight you're putting on the ankle.'
'Okay,' said Kevin. 'Thanks.'
Oscar held out his right arm and Kevin looped his left arm through it. They took a few steps forward, Kevin's left foot barely touching the ground.
'That's a lot better,' said Kevin. 'Thanks, bro.'
'Don't be silly,' said Oscar. 'We're in this together, right?'
'Right,' said Kevin. 'Any idea where we're going now?'
'We'll follow this dried-up stream,' said Oscar. 'It probably leads to the river, eventually.'
'Yeah,' said Kevin, 'I sure hope so.'
'Listen!' said Oscar. 'That's the river – I'm sure it is! It must be just the other side of that line of trees.'
'Good,' said Kevin. 'I'm getting kind of bored with this walk in the woods, to be honest with you.'
'You rest on this rock and I'll go check to see if the river's there,' said Oscar. 'We don't want to take your ankle off on a wild goose chase, do we?'
'Okay,' said Kevin. 'Thanks, bro.'
Kevin lowered himself onto the nearby rock and Oscar ran off towards the line of trees and the sound of rushing water. Suddenly there came a cry of alarm and pain, and Oscar disappeared from Kevin's view.
'Oh my God,' Kevin muttered, his eyes opening wide in alarm. 'Dude!'
He dragged himself to his feet and ran towards the point at which he had last seen his companion, limping rather badly all the time. He found Oscar clawing his way out of a large hole in the ground, dishevelled and covered in muddy water.
'At least this proves we're near the river,' said Oscar, spitting the filthy water out of his mouth as he spoke.
'Are you okay?' said Kevin.
'It's my leg,' Oscar muttered. 'I think I cut it on a branch or a piece of rock or something.'
Oscar sat at the edge of the hole and spread his legs out in front of him. Kevin saw that there was a large rip in the top of the right leg of Oscar's trousers, and blood was flowing from it.
'Jeez, it looks pretty bad,' Oscar remarked.
'Pull your pants down,' said Kevin.
'If I pull my pants down, somebody might come,' said Oscar.
'Then we'll ask them to show us the way out of here!' said Kevin. 'Come on – pull your pants down so I can take a look!'
Oscar raised himself up so that he could pull his trousers down to his knees. Kevin came to kneel beside him, and looked at the gash in his leg with close scrutiny.
'It's bleeding quite heavily,' said Kevin. 'If the river really is just beyond those trees then we can make it back to your dad in no time, but we need to do something about this first. Maybe we can put a tourniquet on it, to ease the bleeding. We need a belt – do you have a belt?'
'No, I don't have a belt!' said Oscar, sounding half hysterical. 'Do you have a belt? I don't think you have a belt, dude!'
'Socks!' Kevin declared.
'What?' said Oscar.
'I can make a tourniquet out of our socks!' said Kevin. 'Quick, take them off.'
Oscar asked no further questions, but hurried to do as he was told. Kevin tied all four of their socks together as tightly as he could.
'Pull your pants back up,' he instructed.
'Are you sure you know what you're doing, dude?' Oscar asked, hauling his trousers up as he spoke.
'I did an extracurricular first aid course at school last summer – that's where I learnt all that CPR and recovery position stuff I was doing on Jose Rodriguez,' said Kevin. 'There, that should do it. Now keep very still while I tie it on.'
Kevin wound the socks around Oscar's thigh, just above the bleeding gash, and knotted them tightly. He then picked up a short but sturdy stick from the ground nearby and slipped it between the socks and the leg.
'What's that for?' said Oscar.
'Just trust me,' said Kevin.
Kevin rotated the stick so that it pulled the socks even tighter. When he had made three ninety-degree turns, Oscar let out a scream of pain that sent the birds flying from the trees overhead.
'I'm sorry, man,' said Kevin. 'But that means it's tight enough now... er, I think.'
'It's okay, dude – I trust you,' said Oscar, panting heavily through the pain. 'Now let's get out of here, shall we?'
Kevin put both arms around Oscar and helped him climb back to his feet. After a few seconds of wobbling about, they both managed to steady themselves.
'Lean on me, bro,' said Kevin. 'Come on, put your arm all the way round me like this.'
'But your ankle...' said Oscar.
'It's way better now,' said Kevin. 'Lean harder than that, dude – come on, I can take quite a lot of your weight.'
With their arms around each other and their legs dragging slightly, they took a few awkward steps forward.
'Your ankle's not better,' Oscar remarked.
'Maybe not, but it's better than your leg,' said Kevin. 'If we help each other, we'll be back at the fishing area in no time – we can do this, man.'
'Y'know what, dude?' said Oscar. 'I reckon you're right.'
'Good,' said Kevin. 'I'm getting kind of bored with this walk in the woods, to be honest with you.'
'You rest on this rock and I'll go check to see if the river's there,' said Oscar. 'We don't want to take your ankle off on a wild goose chase, do we?'
'Okay,' said Kevin. 'Thanks, bro.'
Kevin lowered himself onto the nearby rock and Oscar ran off towards the line of trees and the sound of rushing water. Suddenly there came a cry of alarm and pain, and Oscar disappeared from Kevin's view.
'Oh my God,' Kevin muttered, his eyes opening wide in alarm. 'Dude!'
He dragged himself to his feet and ran towards the point at which he had last seen his companion, limping rather badly all the time. He found Oscar clawing his way out of a large hole in the ground, dishevelled and covered in muddy water.
'At least this proves we're near the river,' said Oscar, spitting the filthy water out of his mouth as he spoke.
'Are you okay?' said Kevin.
'It's my leg,' Oscar muttered. 'I think I cut it on a branch or a piece of rock or something.'
Oscar sat at the edge of the hole and spread his legs out in front of him. Kevin saw that there was a large rip in the top of the right leg of Oscar's trousers, and blood was flowing from it.
'Jeez, it looks pretty bad,' Oscar remarked.
'Pull your pants down,' said Kevin.
'If I pull my pants down, somebody might come,' said Oscar.
'Then we'll ask them to show us the way out of here!' said Kevin. 'Come on – pull your pants down so I can take a look!'
Oscar raised himself up so that he could pull his trousers down to his knees. Kevin came to kneel beside him, and looked at the gash in his leg with close scrutiny.
'It's bleeding quite heavily,' said Kevin. 'If the river really is just beyond those trees then we can make it back to your dad in no time, but we need to do something about this first. Maybe we can put a tourniquet on it, to ease the bleeding. We need a belt – do you have a belt?'
'No, I don't have a belt!' said Oscar, sounding half hysterical. 'Do you have a belt? I don't think you have a belt, dude!'
'Socks!' Kevin declared.
'What?' said Oscar.
'I can make a tourniquet out of our socks!' said Kevin. 'Quick, take them off.'
Oscar asked no further questions, but hurried to do as he was told. Kevin tied all four of their socks together as tightly as he could.
'Pull your pants back up,' he instructed.
'Are you sure you know what you're doing, dude?' Oscar asked, hauling his trousers up as he spoke.
'I did an extracurricular first aid course at school last summer – that's where I learnt all that CPR and recovery position stuff I was doing on Jose Rodriguez,' said Kevin. 'There, that should do it. Now keep very still while I tie it on.'
Kevin wound the socks around Oscar's thigh, just above the bleeding gash, and knotted them tightly. He then picked up a short but sturdy stick from the ground nearby and slipped it between the socks and the leg.
'What's that for?' said Oscar.
'Just trust me,' said Kevin.
Kevin rotated the stick so that it pulled the socks even tighter. When he had made three ninety-degree turns, Oscar let out a scream of pain that sent the birds flying from the trees overhead.
'I'm sorry, man,' said Kevin. 'But that means it's tight enough now... er, I think.'
'It's okay, dude – I trust you,' said Oscar, panting heavily through the pain. 'Now let's get out of here, shall we?'
Kevin put both arms around Oscar and helped him climb back to his feet. After a few seconds of wobbling about, they both managed to steady themselves.
'Lean on me, bro,' said Kevin. 'Come on, put your arm all the way round me like this.'
'But your ankle...' said Oscar.
'It's way better now,' said Kevin. 'Lean harder than that, dude – come on, I can take quite a lot of your weight.'
With their arms around each other and their legs dragging slightly, they took a few awkward steps forward.
'Your ankle's not better,' Oscar remarked.
'Maybe not, but it's better than your leg,' said Kevin. 'If we help each other, we'll be back at the fishing area in no time – we can do this, man.'
'Y'know what, dude?' said Oscar. 'I reckon you're right.'
Peter, now wearing various items of daisy chain jewellery, finished packing up his fishing equipment and turned to gaze into the forest nearby.
'We're gonna have to go look for them, Jess,' he said apologetically. 'We can't wait any longer.'
'It's okay, we don't need to go,' said Jessica. 'I can see them coming. They've got their arms around each other.'
'Where?' said Peter, squinting at the line of trees. 'I don't see them, sport.'
'Not there,' said Jessica, somewhat scathingly. 'Beside the river!'
Peter turned and saw that Oscar and Kevin were indeed stumbling along the riverbank with their arms around each other, looking and moving like a two-headed zombie.
'Where on earth have you two been?' Peter called to them. 'I was getting worried!'
'It's a long story, Dad,' Oscar said, as they came up to the fishing area and collapsed onto the ground.
'Give me the short version,' said Peter.
'We got lost,' said Oscar. 'Kevin twisted his ankle and I cut my leg, and then we found the river and followed it back here.'
'That was smart of you,' said Peter, kneeling to examine Oscar's leg. 'You put this tourniquet on, Kevin?'
'Er... yeah, I did,' said Kevin.
'It's well done, considering it was a field procedure,' said Peter. 'This blood is dry, so I don't think it's bleeding anymore. We'd better stop by the walk-in clinic in town to see if it needs stitches, just in case.'
'Aw, man,' Oscar sighed. 'We'll be there for hours!'
'Do you want to risk getting an infection?' Peter asked sharply.
'No, Dad,' said Oscar.
'Then that's settled,' said Peter. 'Kevin, do you think you can make it to the car on that ankle?'
'Um... to be honest with you, Dr Venkman, I think I'll need some help to get up that hill,' said Kevin.
'Then you did the right thing telling me now instead of when we're halfway up,' said Peter. 'Okay, I think I'm gonna need to make three journeys – first I'll help Kevin to the car, then I'll come back for Oscar, then finally I'll come back and pick up all the equipment. Jess, I want you to stay down here with Oscar until I get back, then come up with us.'
'Okay,' said Jessica. 'Am I looking after him or is he looking after me?'
'You're looking after each other,' said Peter.
'I'll bring the cooler and the bait box when we come back up,' said Jessica. 'I can manage them, Dad, don't worry.'
'Great, then I'll come back for the rods and the stools,' said Peter. 'Okay, let's do this.'
'We're gonna have to go look for them, Jess,' he said apologetically. 'We can't wait any longer.'
'It's okay, we don't need to go,' said Jessica. 'I can see them coming. They've got their arms around each other.'
'Where?' said Peter, squinting at the line of trees. 'I don't see them, sport.'
'Not there,' said Jessica, somewhat scathingly. 'Beside the river!'
Peter turned and saw that Oscar and Kevin were indeed stumbling along the riverbank with their arms around each other, looking and moving like a two-headed zombie.
'Where on earth have you two been?' Peter called to them. 'I was getting worried!'
'It's a long story, Dad,' Oscar said, as they came up to the fishing area and collapsed onto the ground.
'Give me the short version,' said Peter.
'We got lost,' said Oscar. 'Kevin twisted his ankle and I cut my leg, and then we found the river and followed it back here.'
'That was smart of you,' said Peter, kneeling to examine Oscar's leg. 'You put this tourniquet on, Kevin?'
'Er... yeah, I did,' said Kevin.
'It's well done, considering it was a field procedure,' said Peter. 'This blood is dry, so I don't think it's bleeding anymore. We'd better stop by the walk-in clinic in town to see if it needs stitches, just in case.'
'Aw, man,' Oscar sighed. 'We'll be there for hours!'
'Do you want to risk getting an infection?' Peter asked sharply.
'No, Dad,' said Oscar.
'Then that's settled,' said Peter. 'Kevin, do you think you can make it to the car on that ankle?'
'Um... to be honest with you, Dr Venkman, I think I'll need some help to get up that hill,' said Kevin.
'Then you did the right thing telling me now instead of when we're halfway up,' said Peter. 'Okay, I think I'm gonna need to make three journeys – first I'll help Kevin to the car, then I'll come back for Oscar, then finally I'll come back and pick up all the equipment. Jess, I want you to stay down here with Oscar until I get back, then come up with us.'
'Okay,' said Jessica. 'Am I looking after him or is he looking after me?'
'You're looking after each other,' said Peter.
'I'll bring the cooler and the bait box when we come back up,' said Jessica. 'I can manage them, Dad, don't worry.'
'Great, then I'll come back for the rods and the stools,' said Peter. 'Okay, let's do this.'
Peter's car pulled up outside the hospital. Jessica was sitting beside him in the passenger seat, while Oscar was spread out on the back seat with his legs on Kevin's lap.
'How's the leg?' Peter called over his shoulder.
'It's started bleeding again,' said Kevin, 'and Oscar seems kinda out of it.'
'Jesus,' Peter muttered. 'Wait here, all three of you – I'll go get a wheelchair.'
Peter dashed from the vehicle, leaving the door open and the keys in the ignition. Jessica sighed heavily, before reaching over and taking charge of the keys.
'What's going on, dude?' said Oscar. 'Am I bleeding to death?'
'Of course you're not, man,' Kevin replied, giving him a squeeze on his uninjured leg. 'We'll get you inside and they'll have you stitched up in no time.'
'Jeez, I hope they don't have to cut off my leg,' said Oscar, giggling slightly. 'That'd be weird. Wouldn't that be weird? I think that'd be weird.'
'Just hang in there, bro,' said Kevin. 'I can see your dad coming back with a wheelchair and three medical practitioners of some kind – you'll be okay.'
'Quick, dude,' said Oscar, 'give me a kiss before they get here.'
'Are you serious?' Kevin laughed.
'I'm quoting Lethal Weapon Two,' Oscar explained. 'Plus I'm probably delirious from the pain – pay no attention to me, bro.'
With that Oscar's eyes slid shut, just as Peter flung the car door open.
'How's the leg?' Peter called over his shoulder.
'It's started bleeding again,' said Kevin, 'and Oscar seems kinda out of it.'
'Jesus,' Peter muttered. 'Wait here, all three of you – I'll go get a wheelchair.'
Peter dashed from the vehicle, leaving the door open and the keys in the ignition. Jessica sighed heavily, before reaching over and taking charge of the keys.
'What's going on, dude?' said Oscar. 'Am I bleeding to death?'
'Of course you're not, man,' Kevin replied, giving him a squeeze on his uninjured leg. 'We'll get you inside and they'll have you stitched up in no time.'
'Jeez, I hope they don't have to cut off my leg,' said Oscar, giggling slightly. 'That'd be weird. Wouldn't that be weird? I think that'd be weird.'
'Just hang in there, bro,' said Kevin. 'I can see your dad coming back with a wheelchair and three medical practitioners of some kind – you'll be okay.'
'Quick, dude,' said Oscar, 'give me a kiss before they get here.'
'Are you serious?' Kevin laughed.
'I'm quoting Lethal Weapon Two,' Oscar explained. 'Plus I'm probably delirious from the pain – pay no attention to me, bro.'
With that Oscar's eyes slid shut, just as Peter flung the car door open.
A few hours later, Kevin was sitting at the table in the Venkmans' kitchen with his left leg up on a chair, setting out the pieces on a chess board. Dana entered the room.
'How's the ankle, Kevin?' she asked him.
'It's fine now,' said Kevin. 'The swelling's practically gone – I feel great, I really do.'
'That's good,' said Dana, fixing him with a smile. 'Just keep that ice pack on there until it loses all its coldness, won't you?'
'Yeah, I will,' said Kevin. 'I feel very lucky – I got off much easier than Oscar!'
'That was really impressive what you did, putting on that tourniquet,' said Dana. 'You would've saved Oscar's life, if it had been an arterial bleed.'
'But it wasn't,' said Kevin. 'It was just a minor flesh wound.'
'Much better to be able to say that now than to wish you had put a tourniquet on an arterial bleed,' said Dana. 'And he did lose a lot of blood; if it wasn't for you he would've lost a lot more.'
'Yeah,' said Kevin, 'I guess so.'
Oscar arrived in the kitchen at that moment, wearing a pair of shorts and sporting a large bandage around his right thigh. After checking to make sure that his mother was watching him, he limped over to the fridge.
'I've finished setting up the chess, man,' said Kevin.
'Great, dude,' Oscar replied, with his head in the fridge. 'I'll bring us something to drink.'
Oscar pulled a large carton of fruit juice out of the fridge, and Kevin's face lit up.
'Whoa, Sunny D!' he exclaimed.
'Yeah,' said Oscar, as he fetched down two glasses from a nearby cupboard. 'It's really tasty and refreshing, isn't it? It tastes better than my pee!'
'I doubt that's true of the blackcurrant one,' said Kevin. 'Listen, bro, I... well, I'm sorry my walk-in-the-woods idea turned out so gnarly.'
'Are you kidding?' said Oscar, as he sat down at the table and handed Kevin a glass of Sunny Delight. 'I wouldn't have missed it for the world!'
'But we got lost and you sliced your leg open.'
'Yeah, and you put a tourniquet on me! Don't you have any idea how cool that was? I'm gonna find out how I can do a full-day first aid course – you can really save someone's life in an emergency if you know that stuff.'
'Yeah, you really can,' said Kevin.
'I'll go online and investigate,' said Dana. 'Maybe we should all do it, as a family.'
'Yeah, wouldn't that be swell?' said Oscar, looking slightly annoyed. 'Okay, dude, make your first move – you're going down, 'cause this is the one thing I know I can beat you at!'
'We'll just see about that,' Kevin grinned.
'How's the ankle, Kevin?' she asked him.
'It's fine now,' said Kevin. 'The swelling's practically gone – I feel great, I really do.'
'That's good,' said Dana, fixing him with a smile. 'Just keep that ice pack on there until it loses all its coldness, won't you?'
'Yeah, I will,' said Kevin. 'I feel very lucky – I got off much easier than Oscar!'
'That was really impressive what you did, putting on that tourniquet,' said Dana. 'You would've saved Oscar's life, if it had been an arterial bleed.'
'But it wasn't,' said Kevin. 'It was just a minor flesh wound.'
'Much better to be able to say that now than to wish you had put a tourniquet on an arterial bleed,' said Dana. 'And he did lose a lot of blood; if it wasn't for you he would've lost a lot more.'
'Yeah,' said Kevin, 'I guess so.'
Oscar arrived in the kitchen at that moment, wearing a pair of shorts and sporting a large bandage around his right thigh. After checking to make sure that his mother was watching him, he limped over to the fridge.
'I've finished setting up the chess, man,' said Kevin.
'Great, dude,' Oscar replied, with his head in the fridge. 'I'll bring us something to drink.'
Oscar pulled a large carton of fruit juice out of the fridge, and Kevin's face lit up.
'Whoa, Sunny D!' he exclaimed.
'Yeah,' said Oscar, as he fetched down two glasses from a nearby cupboard. 'It's really tasty and refreshing, isn't it? It tastes better than my pee!'
'I doubt that's true of the blackcurrant one,' said Kevin. 'Listen, bro, I... well, I'm sorry my walk-in-the-woods idea turned out so gnarly.'
'Are you kidding?' said Oscar, as he sat down at the table and handed Kevin a glass of Sunny Delight. 'I wouldn't have missed it for the world!'
'But we got lost and you sliced your leg open.'
'Yeah, and you put a tourniquet on me! Don't you have any idea how cool that was? I'm gonna find out how I can do a full-day first aid course – you can really save someone's life in an emergency if you know that stuff.'
'Yeah, you really can,' said Kevin.
'I'll go online and investigate,' said Dana. 'Maybe we should all do it, as a family.'
'Yeah, wouldn't that be swell?' said Oscar, looking slightly annoyed. 'Okay, dude, make your first move – you're going down, 'cause this is the one thing I know I can beat you at!'
'We'll just see about that,' Kevin grinned.
Sitting on his mattress on Oscar's bedroom floor, Kevin stretched his feet out in front of him, compared the sizes of his ankles, and nodded in satisfaction. At that moment Oscar stepped into the room, dressed in his blue pair of boys' pyjama bottoms and nothing else. He did a little twirl in the doorway.
'Ta-da!' he declared.
'What was that for?' Kevin laughed.
'You said you wanted to see me wearing just pyjama bottoms,' said Oscar, 'so here I am, doing it!'
'I didn't say I wanted to see you wearing just pyjama bottoms,' Kevin pointed out. 'I asked you if you ever did, that's all.'
'Same thing,' Oscar shrugged.
'It's not,' Kevin giggled.
He threw a pillow at Oscar's chest; Oscar collapsed onto his own bed and joined in the laughter. He then noticed that Jessica was watching them through the open door; he lunged towards the foot of the bed and slammed it shut.
'Okay,' said Oscar, 'now I want you to punch me in the abs as hard as you can.'
'Why?' asked Kevin.
'To test out my new muscle exercises,' said Oscar. 'If I've been doing them right, I won't even feel it.'
'Are you sure?' Kevin laughed. 'Don't you think we've gotten bashed up enough today?'
'It'll be like punching a brick wall,' said Oscar, 'trust me.'
Kevin came to stand opposite him. Oscar held his arms out to his sides and braced himself.
'Are you totally sure you want me to do this?' Kevin asked, balling his hands into fists.
'Yes, dude!' Oscar insisted. 'Give it to me as hard as you can!'
'Ta-da!' he declared.
'What was that for?' Kevin laughed.
'You said you wanted to see me wearing just pyjama bottoms,' said Oscar, 'so here I am, doing it!'
'I didn't say I wanted to see you wearing just pyjama bottoms,' Kevin pointed out. 'I asked you if you ever did, that's all.'
'Same thing,' Oscar shrugged.
'It's not,' Kevin giggled.
He threw a pillow at Oscar's chest; Oscar collapsed onto his own bed and joined in the laughter. He then noticed that Jessica was watching them through the open door; he lunged towards the foot of the bed and slammed it shut.
'Okay,' said Oscar, 'now I want you to punch me in the abs as hard as you can.'
'Why?' asked Kevin.
'To test out my new muscle exercises,' said Oscar. 'If I've been doing them right, I won't even feel it.'
'Are you sure?' Kevin laughed. 'Don't you think we've gotten bashed up enough today?'
'It'll be like punching a brick wall,' said Oscar, 'trust me.'
Kevin came to stand opposite him. Oscar held his arms out to his sides and braced himself.
'Are you totally sure you want me to do this?' Kevin asked, balling his hands into fists.
'Yes, dude!' Oscar insisted. 'Give it to me as hard as you can!'
Outside the bedroom door, Jessica heard a cry of pain and the sound of a body collapsing onto the floor. She made a face and moved away.
'Jesus, dude,' Oscar wheezed, as he wriggled around on the floor.
'You said as hard as I could,' Kevin pointed out, coming to stand over him. 'Let me help you up.'
But Oscar had another plan in mind. With a mischievous grin, he hooked his ankles around Kevin's knees and brought him crashing to the ground.
'Hey, no fair!' Kevin laughed. 'You never taught me that one.'
'I know,' Oscar grinned. 'And here's some more stuff I never taught you.'
He launched himself at Kevin and they tumbled across the floor.
'You said as hard as I could,' Kevin pointed out, coming to stand over him. 'Let me help you up.'
But Oscar had another plan in mind. With a mischievous grin, he hooked his ankles around Kevin's knees and brought him crashing to the ground.
'Hey, no fair!' Kevin laughed. 'You never taught me that one.'
'I know,' Oscar grinned. 'And here's some more stuff I never taught you.'
He launched himself at Kevin and they tumbled across the floor.
Peter and Dana looked at each other as a series of loud crashes thundered through their bedroom wall.
'What do you think they're up to?' said Peter.
'Just fooling around,' said Dana.
'Should we go and stop them?' said Peter.
'There's no need for that,' said Dana.
'What if something gets broken?' said Peter.
'Then we'll fix it,' said Dana, 'or replace it. Right now I think it's more important that Oscar enjoys himself.'
'But they sound like they're tearing the place apart!' said Peter.
'Well, you know how it is,' Dana shrugged. 'Boys will be boys.'
'What do you think they're up to?' said Peter.
'Just fooling around,' said Dana.
'Should we go and stop them?' said Peter.
'There's no need for that,' said Dana.
'What if something gets broken?' said Peter.
'Then we'll fix it,' said Dana, 'or replace it. Right now I think it's more important that Oscar enjoys himself.'
'But they sound like they're tearing the place apart!' said Peter.
'Well, you know how it is,' Dana shrugged. 'Boys will be boys.'
Kevin stared through the glass panel in the front door as Oscar finished dragging an overstuffed holdall to the bottom of the stairs.
'Jeez, do you have bricks in this thing?' said Oscar.
'They've stopped talking and they're looking up at the house,' said Kevin. 'I guess I have to go now.'
'Yeah, I guess so,' said Oscar. 'I'm gonna arrange so you can come and stay one Saturday night sometime soon, like you did for me in December.'
'That'd be great,' Kevin beamed at him. 'But no walks in the woods this time.'
'No,' Oscar laughed. 'We'll stick to the stay-at-home stuff.'
Kevin nodded, then suddenly found himself enveloped in a crushing embrace, which he returned with slightly less force.
'Watch out, man,' Kevin laughed, 'you're crushing my ribs.'
'Sorry,' said Oscar, drawing away slightly. 'I just... I'm really glad you came, dude.'
'Me too,' said Kevin.
They punched each other on the arm, dug each other in the ribs and then hugged again. Then Dana opened the front door, so Kevin picked up his luggage and went outside to join his mother.
'Hi, Mom,' he smiled at Beth, causing Dana to adopt a slightly wistful expression.
'Hi, honey,' Beth said warmly. 'I hear you made a tourniquet out of four socks and a piece of stick.'
'Well, yeah, I did do that,' Kevin was forced to admit.
'That's really clever, sweetheart,' said Beth. 'I'd never have thought of doing that!'
'Well, you know how it is in an emergency,' Kevin shrugged. 'Sometimes your instincts just take over, don't they? Come on, let's go if we're going.'
Kevin slung his luggage into the back of the car, climbed into the passenger seat and waved to Oscar and Dana, who both waved back. Beth's car moved away from the house; Oscar stood and watched it. When it had disappeared around the corner, Oscar turned his attention away and was surprised to find that his mother was no longer standing next to him, but Jessica was there instead.
'Is Kevin your boyfriend?' she asked.
'What's that supposed to mean?' said Oscar, frowning at her.
'It's a simple question,' said Jessica. 'But I already know the answer so you don't need to tell me if you don't want to.'
'Jess, I don't think you really understand...'
'You love him, don't you? I think you love him.'
'You don't know what love is, Jess.'
'Oh, and you do?'
'I know there's all different kinds... and you can love different people in different ways.'
'Jeez, you're such a little pansy!'
'Jess, where the hell do you hear this stuff?' said Oscar, gaping at her in surprise.
'Why did you and Kevin keep shutting yourselves in your room together?' Jessica demanded. 'What were you doing in there?'
'We were doing... boys' stuff,' said Oscar. 'You wouldn't understand.'
'I understand plenty!' said Jessica. 'You and Kevin wanted to be alone together – you must've spent about a hundred hours locked in there!'
'I've told you a million times, Jess, don't exaggerate.'
That made her laugh. Oscar smiled at her.
'Come back inside,' said Oscar, 'and I'll get us some Sunny D.'
'I know you love him, you know,' said Jessica, as they trudged up the front steps together.
'And I know you've been spreading toothpaste all over your bedroom wall just to see what happens to it after several weeks,' said Oscar, 'so let's both keep this stuff to ourselves, shall we?'
'Okay,' said Jessica, and the front door closed behind them.
'Jeez, do you have bricks in this thing?' said Oscar.
'They've stopped talking and they're looking up at the house,' said Kevin. 'I guess I have to go now.'
'Yeah, I guess so,' said Oscar. 'I'm gonna arrange so you can come and stay one Saturday night sometime soon, like you did for me in December.'
'That'd be great,' Kevin beamed at him. 'But no walks in the woods this time.'
'No,' Oscar laughed. 'We'll stick to the stay-at-home stuff.'
Kevin nodded, then suddenly found himself enveloped in a crushing embrace, which he returned with slightly less force.
'Watch out, man,' Kevin laughed, 'you're crushing my ribs.'
'Sorry,' said Oscar, drawing away slightly. 'I just... I'm really glad you came, dude.'
'Me too,' said Kevin.
They punched each other on the arm, dug each other in the ribs and then hugged again. Then Dana opened the front door, so Kevin picked up his luggage and went outside to join his mother.
'Hi, Mom,' he smiled at Beth, causing Dana to adopt a slightly wistful expression.
'Hi, honey,' Beth said warmly. 'I hear you made a tourniquet out of four socks and a piece of stick.'
'Well, yeah, I did do that,' Kevin was forced to admit.
'That's really clever, sweetheart,' said Beth. 'I'd never have thought of doing that!'
'Well, you know how it is in an emergency,' Kevin shrugged. 'Sometimes your instincts just take over, don't they? Come on, let's go if we're going.'
Kevin slung his luggage into the back of the car, climbed into the passenger seat and waved to Oscar and Dana, who both waved back. Beth's car moved away from the house; Oscar stood and watched it. When it had disappeared around the corner, Oscar turned his attention away and was surprised to find that his mother was no longer standing next to him, but Jessica was there instead.
'Is Kevin your boyfriend?' she asked.
'What's that supposed to mean?' said Oscar, frowning at her.
'It's a simple question,' said Jessica. 'But I already know the answer so you don't need to tell me if you don't want to.'
'Jess, I don't think you really understand...'
'You love him, don't you? I think you love him.'
'You don't know what love is, Jess.'
'Oh, and you do?'
'I know there's all different kinds... and you can love different people in different ways.'
'Jeez, you're such a little pansy!'
'Jess, where the hell do you hear this stuff?' said Oscar, gaping at her in surprise.
'Why did you and Kevin keep shutting yourselves in your room together?' Jessica demanded. 'What were you doing in there?'
'We were doing... boys' stuff,' said Oscar. 'You wouldn't understand.'
'I understand plenty!' said Jessica. 'You and Kevin wanted to be alone together – you must've spent about a hundred hours locked in there!'
'I've told you a million times, Jess, don't exaggerate.'
That made her laugh. Oscar smiled at her.
'Come back inside,' said Oscar, 'and I'll get us some Sunny D.'
'I know you love him, you know,' said Jessica, as they trudged up the front steps together.
'And I know you've been spreading toothpaste all over your bedroom wall just to see what happens to it after several weeks,' said Oscar, 'so let's both keep this stuff to ourselves, shall we?'
'Okay,' said Jessica, and the front door closed behind them.
Kevin was lying on the couch with his eyes closed, looking utterly exhausted. Carl and Eduardo were sitting on chairs either side of the couch, obviously deep in conversation.
'He's really tuckered out, huh?' said Eduardo, nodding at Kevin's motionless form.
'Yeah – God knows what he's been up to!' said Carl. 'Apparently he's been using his first aid skills again, tying Oscar's foot back on with a pair of socks or something.'
'You should be really proud of him, Carlos,' said Eduardo. 'That stuff can save lives! How many kids from his old school bothered going to that first aid day last summer?'
'Um... him and about four others, I think,' said Carl.
'And I bet the rest of them'll wish they had, when they find someone needs them to save their life and they can't do it!'
'Yeah, well, I guess you're right, Eddie... now stop changing the subject! Why don't you apply to join the police academy when you finish college? You just give me one good reason!'
'I'll give you nine good reasons!' said Eduardo.
'Nine?' Carl repeated in surprise.
The phone rang in the kitchen; Beth was heard to answer it.
'First of all,' said Eduardo, 'I don't want to be a cop! Second of all, just because you're a cop and Dad was a cop does not mean I should automatically be a cop too! Third...'
Out in the hallway, the kitchen door burst open and Beth's raised voice cut into the proceedings.
'Kevin, Oscar's on the phone for you!' she called.
'Ooh!' said Kevin, seeming to wake from his coma-like sleep and rush from the room in a nanosecond.
'Oh,' said Eduardo, 'I guess he wasn't asleep after all... Carlos, what are you doing?'
Carl was eyeing the cordless phone extension that was resting in its carrier on the coffee table. As Eduardo watched with a disapproving expression, Carl lifted the phone, pressed a button on it, covered the mouthpiece with one hand and held it to his ear.
'Carlos, don't!' Eduardo hissed.
'Shh!' Carl hissed back. 'If you don't like what I'm doing then you can get out of my house!'
Eduardo scowled, crossed his arms and settled back in his chair, as Carl pressed the phone closer to his ear.
'She said she can't possibly know yet if we've got a free weekend before the end of the school year,' Oscar was saying, 'but then she said I can come and stay with you the weekend of Jessica's sleepover if you'll have me.'
'Of course I'll have you,' Kevin's voice replied.
'Don't you think your parents might be getting bored of me by now?'
'I don't care if they are – I'm not!'
'I'm relieved to hear that,' Oscar laughed.
'Maybe we can go see The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas at the movie theatre,' said Kevin. 'It should be out by then.'
'Oh, cool!' said Oscar. 'Y'know, dude, I... well, I don't know if I should tell you.'
'Tell me what, man?'
'It could change things for us – change them a whole lot! But I don't want to get your hopes up in case... well, in case it doesn't work out.'
'What do you mean?' said Kevin. 'You have to tell me now, bro.'
'I heard my parents talking last night about maybe moving back to New York City sometime soon,' Oscar said at length. 'I checked their internet history; they've been looking at junior high websites.'
'For you?'
'I kinda assumed for me, yeah.'
'My school has a website,' Kevin said casually. 'Should I email you the link, man?'
'It couldn't hurt, dude,' Oscar replied, equally as casually. 'Did you just hear a beeping noise?'
'Yeah. It sounded kinda like... oh man, I don't believe it!'
'Believe what?'
'I think my dad's been listening to us on the cordless extension! I've got to go now, man – I'll see you soon, okay?'
'I'm looking forward to it,' said Oscar. 'Ciao for now, dude.'
'He's really tuckered out, huh?' said Eduardo, nodding at Kevin's motionless form.
'Yeah – God knows what he's been up to!' said Carl. 'Apparently he's been using his first aid skills again, tying Oscar's foot back on with a pair of socks or something.'
'You should be really proud of him, Carlos,' said Eduardo. 'That stuff can save lives! How many kids from his old school bothered going to that first aid day last summer?'
'Um... him and about four others, I think,' said Carl.
'And I bet the rest of them'll wish they had, when they find someone needs them to save their life and they can't do it!'
'Yeah, well, I guess you're right, Eddie... now stop changing the subject! Why don't you apply to join the police academy when you finish college? You just give me one good reason!'
'I'll give you nine good reasons!' said Eduardo.
'Nine?' Carl repeated in surprise.
The phone rang in the kitchen; Beth was heard to answer it.
'First of all,' said Eduardo, 'I don't want to be a cop! Second of all, just because you're a cop and Dad was a cop does not mean I should automatically be a cop too! Third...'
Out in the hallway, the kitchen door burst open and Beth's raised voice cut into the proceedings.
'Kevin, Oscar's on the phone for you!' she called.
'Ooh!' said Kevin, seeming to wake from his coma-like sleep and rush from the room in a nanosecond.
'Oh,' said Eduardo, 'I guess he wasn't asleep after all... Carlos, what are you doing?'
Carl was eyeing the cordless phone extension that was resting in its carrier on the coffee table. As Eduardo watched with a disapproving expression, Carl lifted the phone, pressed a button on it, covered the mouthpiece with one hand and held it to his ear.
'Carlos, don't!' Eduardo hissed.
'Shh!' Carl hissed back. 'If you don't like what I'm doing then you can get out of my house!'
Eduardo scowled, crossed his arms and settled back in his chair, as Carl pressed the phone closer to his ear.
'She said she can't possibly know yet if we've got a free weekend before the end of the school year,' Oscar was saying, 'but then she said I can come and stay with you the weekend of Jessica's sleepover if you'll have me.'
'Of course I'll have you,' Kevin's voice replied.
'Don't you think your parents might be getting bored of me by now?'
'I don't care if they are – I'm not!'
'I'm relieved to hear that,' Oscar laughed.
'Maybe we can go see The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas at the movie theatre,' said Kevin. 'It should be out by then.'
'Oh, cool!' said Oscar. 'Y'know, dude, I... well, I don't know if I should tell you.'
'Tell me what, man?'
'It could change things for us – change them a whole lot! But I don't want to get your hopes up in case... well, in case it doesn't work out.'
'What do you mean?' said Kevin. 'You have to tell me now, bro.'
'I heard my parents talking last night about maybe moving back to New York City sometime soon,' Oscar said at length. 'I checked their internet history; they've been looking at junior high websites.'
'For you?'
'I kinda assumed for me, yeah.'
'My school has a website,' Kevin said casually. 'Should I email you the link, man?'
'It couldn't hurt, dude,' Oscar replied, equally as casually. 'Did you just hear a beeping noise?'
'Yeah. It sounded kinda like... oh man, I don't believe it!'
'Believe what?'
'I think my dad's been listening to us on the cordless extension! I've got to go now, man – I'll see you soon, okay?'
'I'm looking forward to it,' said Oscar. 'Ciao for now, dude.'
Kevin ran into the living room with a murderous expression on his face, just as the cordless phone finished rocking back into place in its carrier.
'What the hell do you think you're doing, Dad?' Kevin demanded.
'Just... just hanging out, son,' said Carl. 'Y'know, chilling at home, as you kids say.'
'You were listening to me and Oscar!'
'Well, I... yeah, I guess I was. But I was just trying to look out for you – I want to help you do what's right, son.'
'In no way was it right for you to listen in on my private phone conversation!'
'Look, son, I... well, no, I don't guess it was, really,' Carl was forced to admit. 'But now that everything's out in the open, would you please do me a favour?'
'What favour?' Kevin asked suspiciously.
'Will you answer two questions for me, truthfully and honestly?' said Carl.
'Sure, okay,' said Kevin. 'If you'll answer two questions for me, truthfully and honestly.'
Carl looked extremely uncomfortable. 'Okay,' he said at length.
'And Uncle Eduardo has to stay and hear what we both have to say,' said Kevin.
'But it's... okay, if that's what you want, son,' said Carl.
'It is,' Kevin said firmly. 'You don't mind, Uncle Eduardo, do you?'
'I wouldn't miss it for the world, man,' Eduardo said, without the slightest hint of flippancy.
'Okay,' said Kevin, 'ask your first question, Dad.'
'How do you feel about Oscar?' said Carl. 'Do you love him?'
'That's two questions,' said Kevin. 'If I answer both of them, you won't be able to ask me any more.'
'It's not two questions,' said Carl. 'It's only one, really.'
'Adjudication!' Kevin demanded, turning to Eduardo.
'It's two questions, Carlos,' said Eduardo. 'Pick the one you want him to answer, or have him answer both and don't ask another one.'
'Okay, fine,' said Carl. 'Answer the second question.'
Kevin looked uncomfortable for a moment, then his face set into a determined expression and he said, 'Yes, I do.'
'Is that all you've got to say?' said Carl. 'No details?'
'You should've picked the first question if you wanted details,' said Kevin. 'That question only needed a yes/no answer. Just to be fair, I'll ask you a yes/no question for my second question, but this is my first: why are you ashamed of being Mexican?'
'What?' Carl snarled. 'I'm a born American citizen and you know it!'
'You know what he means, Carlos,' said Eduardo. 'He answered your question, so now you have to answer his.'
'Look, son, I'm... it's just... it's not that I'm ashamed,' said Carl. 'It's just that the world is a certain way and we all have to deal with that.'
'People's bad attitudes can change, Dad,' said Kevin, 'but they never will if we buy into them ourselves.'
'You're too young to understand, Kevin,' said Carl. 'You don't know what it's like... not really.'
'Yes I do,' Kevin said.
'I... I don't want to talk about this anymore,' said Carl, looking away from his son. 'I've answered your first question, so here's my second question: are you gay?'
'I don't know yet, Dad.'
'What the hell kind of an answer is that?'
'It's a very honest and extremely mature one,' said Eduardo. 'Ask your dad your yes/no question, Kev, then he'll answer it and we'll be done.'
'Okay,' said Kevin. 'Dad, if I grow up to be gay and Hispanic and proud of both, will you hate me for it?'
Eduardo smiled and raised an eyebrow at Carl, who was looking extremely uncomfortable.
'I... I could never hate you, son,' he said at length.
'Good,' said Kevin, and left the room.
'Carlos,' said Eduardo, 'you do realise he's just completely shown you up, don't you?'
Carl's expression blackened, but quickly changed to one of distress.
'Yes, I do realise that,' Carl sighed. 'My son's a better man than I am, Eddie.'
'Yeah, no kidding,' Eduardo could not help but remark, but then he softened his tone. 'Look, Carlos, you can be as good a man as you want to be... as good a father as you want to be... as good a brother as you want to be. It's not too late – not yet.'
'I'm happy to hear you say that,' Carl admitted, 'but are you sure Kevin feels the same way?'
'Yes,' said Eduardo, 'I'm sure.'
'So... so what do I do?'
'You be there for him when he needs you, and you stop pestering him when he doesn't need you.'
'I guess I can do that,' said Carl. 'But Eddie, what if he is... well, what if he's not normal?'
'Jeez, Carlos!' said Eduardo, rising to his feet in disgust. 'Just when I thought you were finally starting to get it! I'm outta here – this conversation is over!'
Carl watched as Eduardo stalked from the room; he heard the front door slam a few seconds later. Looking troubled, Carl headed towards the kitchen.
'Beth,' he said to his wife, 'tell me I'm not a bad father, a bad brother... and a bad husband.'
'Oh, Carl,' Beth sighed, smiling wanly at him. 'Why don't we sit down and have a nice, long talk?'
'What the hell do you think you're doing, Dad?' Kevin demanded.
'Just... just hanging out, son,' said Carl. 'Y'know, chilling at home, as you kids say.'
'You were listening to me and Oscar!'
'Well, I... yeah, I guess I was. But I was just trying to look out for you – I want to help you do what's right, son.'
'In no way was it right for you to listen in on my private phone conversation!'
'Look, son, I... well, no, I don't guess it was, really,' Carl was forced to admit. 'But now that everything's out in the open, would you please do me a favour?'
'What favour?' Kevin asked suspiciously.
'Will you answer two questions for me, truthfully and honestly?' said Carl.
'Sure, okay,' said Kevin. 'If you'll answer two questions for me, truthfully and honestly.'
Carl looked extremely uncomfortable. 'Okay,' he said at length.
'And Uncle Eduardo has to stay and hear what we both have to say,' said Kevin.
'But it's... okay, if that's what you want, son,' said Carl.
'It is,' Kevin said firmly. 'You don't mind, Uncle Eduardo, do you?'
'I wouldn't miss it for the world, man,' Eduardo said, without the slightest hint of flippancy.
'Okay,' said Kevin, 'ask your first question, Dad.'
'How do you feel about Oscar?' said Carl. 'Do you love him?'
'That's two questions,' said Kevin. 'If I answer both of them, you won't be able to ask me any more.'
'It's not two questions,' said Carl. 'It's only one, really.'
'Adjudication!' Kevin demanded, turning to Eduardo.
'It's two questions, Carlos,' said Eduardo. 'Pick the one you want him to answer, or have him answer both and don't ask another one.'
'Okay, fine,' said Carl. 'Answer the second question.'
Kevin looked uncomfortable for a moment, then his face set into a determined expression and he said, 'Yes, I do.'
'Is that all you've got to say?' said Carl. 'No details?'
'You should've picked the first question if you wanted details,' said Kevin. 'That question only needed a yes/no answer. Just to be fair, I'll ask you a yes/no question for my second question, but this is my first: why are you ashamed of being Mexican?'
'What?' Carl snarled. 'I'm a born American citizen and you know it!'
'You know what he means, Carlos,' said Eduardo. 'He answered your question, so now you have to answer his.'
'Look, son, I'm... it's just... it's not that I'm ashamed,' said Carl. 'It's just that the world is a certain way and we all have to deal with that.'
'People's bad attitudes can change, Dad,' said Kevin, 'but they never will if we buy into them ourselves.'
'You're too young to understand, Kevin,' said Carl. 'You don't know what it's like... not really.'
'Yes I do,' Kevin said.
'I... I don't want to talk about this anymore,' said Carl, looking away from his son. 'I've answered your first question, so here's my second question: are you gay?'
'I don't know yet, Dad.'
'What the hell kind of an answer is that?'
'It's a very honest and extremely mature one,' said Eduardo. 'Ask your dad your yes/no question, Kev, then he'll answer it and we'll be done.'
'Okay,' said Kevin. 'Dad, if I grow up to be gay and Hispanic and proud of both, will you hate me for it?'
Eduardo smiled and raised an eyebrow at Carl, who was looking extremely uncomfortable.
'I... I could never hate you, son,' he said at length.
'Good,' said Kevin, and left the room.
'Carlos,' said Eduardo, 'you do realise he's just completely shown you up, don't you?'
Carl's expression blackened, but quickly changed to one of distress.
'Yes, I do realise that,' Carl sighed. 'My son's a better man than I am, Eddie.'
'Yeah, no kidding,' Eduardo could not help but remark, but then he softened his tone. 'Look, Carlos, you can be as good a man as you want to be... as good a father as you want to be... as good a brother as you want to be. It's not too late – not yet.'
'I'm happy to hear you say that,' Carl admitted, 'but are you sure Kevin feels the same way?'
'Yes,' said Eduardo, 'I'm sure.'
'So... so what do I do?'
'You be there for him when he needs you, and you stop pestering him when he doesn't need you.'
'I guess I can do that,' said Carl. 'But Eddie, what if he is... well, what if he's not normal?'
'Jeez, Carlos!' said Eduardo, rising to his feet in disgust. 'Just when I thought you were finally starting to get it! I'm outta here – this conversation is over!'
Carl watched as Eduardo stalked from the room; he heard the front door slam a few seconds later. Looking troubled, Carl headed towards the kitchen.
'Beth,' he said to his wife, 'tell me I'm not a bad father, a bad brother... and a bad husband.'
'Oh, Carl,' Beth sighed, smiling wanly at him. 'Why don't we sit down and have a nice, long talk?'
