The Riveras Episode 11: May – Love and Understanding
Written by Rosey Collins
Eduardo was in Carl and Beth's utility room, pulling damp clothing out of the washing machine and dumping it into a plastic basket. Beth was there too, sitting on a kitchen stool and leaning heavily on the shelf that ran along the wall.
'…and she said, “Well, that doesn't matter”,' Beth was saying. 'That was it. Not anything like “He's not the boss of you” or “He'll have to put up with it” – just that it “doesn't matter”.'
'Yeah, well,' said Eduardo, 'that's what she meant – he's not the boss of you and he'll have to put up with it. If you decide to do it, that is.'
'Well, maybe... but the thing is that it does matter. I mean... I love Kylie, I really do...'
Eduardo paused in the act of shaking out a crumpled T-shirt, and turned to look at her. 'But...?'
'It's just that it's such a weird way of putting it,' Beth went on. 'I mean... well, suppose the situation were reversed... and it was you and her. Surely Kylie wouldn't want to do something you don't like, any more than she'd want you to do something she doesn't like.'
'Well...' Eduardo considered. 'Yeah, I guess, but what wouldn't I like? I'm not unreasonable. If I was the kind of guy who said “I don't want you doing that job” or “I don't want you seeing those friends”,' (there was a definite Carl impersonation in these words) 'she wouldn't be with me. But anyway, look, didn't you say she was drunk?'
'Yes, she was,' said Beth, 'but that's what made her say exactly what she thought.'
'You shouldn't be worrying about what Kylie thinks,' said Eduardo. 'It only matters what you think.'
Beth sighed. 'I guess so...'
Eduardo paused in the act of picking up his washing basket, and smiled at her. 'Do you wanna tell me what you think?'
'I think it would be much easier if I knew Carl would approve,' said Beth. 'I know it's my decision – I just don't want to have to fight with him about it.'
'So you're definitely gonna cover for Janine?'
'I guess I'll have to decide today, won't I? She said to call this week.'
'You can take a little longer if you really need to,' said Eduardo. 'She has a few months before she wants to stop completely. But you wouldn't have to wait that long to get started – she says she wants to train you up right away and have you cover during antenatal classes or something.'
'Well, it sounds like Janine's expecting me to say yes.'
'She said you sounded keen when she asked you.'
'Oh, really?' said Beth, frowning slightly. 'Well, maybe I'm not as predictable as all that.'
Eduardo looked worried. 'Have I said something wrong?'
'No,' said Beth. 'I'm sorry. It's just kind of annoying, everyone seeming to have an opinion on what should be my decision. Everyone except you, that is.'
'But I do have an opinion,' said Eduardo. 'I'd love it if you came to work with us.'
At this, Beth smiled warmly at him. Eduardo smiled back, hoisted his washing basket onto his hip and prepared to leave the room, squeezing her arm as he passed her. Then suddenly she was bombarded by an image of him kissing her passionately, letting his washing fall to the floor and flop out of the basket in a soggy heap.
A moment later, the image was gone, and Eduardo was standing there as innocent as the day he was born. Beth stared at him, utterly dazed.
'You okay?' he asked.
'Um,' said Beth. 'Yes. Are you, um... are you sure you don't want to use the dryer?'
'I'm sure I don't want Carl on my back about your electric bill.'
'Well, we don't have to tell him.'
'No, really, it's okay,' said Eduardo, beginning to look uncomfortable. 'I don't want to be a bad influence on you.'
So saying, he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, then left the room with a parting smile.
'…and she said, “Well, that doesn't matter”,' Beth was saying. 'That was it. Not anything like “He's not the boss of you” or “He'll have to put up with it” – just that it “doesn't matter”.'
'Yeah, well,' said Eduardo, 'that's what she meant – he's not the boss of you and he'll have to put up with it. If you decide to do it, that is.'
'Well, maybe... but the thing is that it does matter. I mean... I love Kylie, I really do...'
Eduardo paused in the act of shaking out a crumpled T-shirt, and turned to look at her. 'But...?'
'It's just that it's such a weird way of putting it,' Beth went on. 'I mean... well, suppose the situation were reversed... and it was you and her. Surely Kylie wouldn't want to do something you don't like, any more than she'd want you to do something she doesn't like.'
'Well...' Eduardo considered. 'Yeah, I guess, but what wouldn't I like? I'm not unreasonable. If I was the kind of guy who said “I don't want you doing that job” or “I don't want you seeing those friends”,' (there was a definite Carl impersonation in these words) 'she wouldn't be with me. But anyway, look, didn't you say she was drunk?'
'Yes, she was,' said Beth, 'but that's what made her say exactly what she thought.'
'You shouldn't be worrying about what Kylie thinks,' said Eduardo. 'It only matters what you think.'
Beth sighed. 'I guess so...'
Eduardo paused in the act of picking up his washing basket, and smiled at her. 'Do you wanna tell me what you think?'
'I think it would be much easier if I knew Carl would approve,' said Beth. 'I know it's my decision – I just don't want to have to fight with him about it.'
'So you're definitely gonna cover for Janine?'
'I guess I'll have to decide today, won't I? She said to call this week.'
'You can take a little longer if you really need to,' said Eduardo. 'She has a few months before she wants to stop completely. But you wouldn't have to wait that long to get started – she says she wants to train you up right away and have you cover during antenatal classes or something.'
'Well, it sounds like Janine's expecting me to say yes.'
'She said you sounded keen when she asked you.'
'Oh, really?' said Beth, frowning slightly. 'Well, maybe I'm not as predictable as all that.'
Eduardo looked worried. 'Have I said something wrong?'
'No,' said Beth. 'I'm sorry. It's just kind of annoying, everyone seeming to have an opinion on what should be my decision. Everyone except you, that is.'
'But I do have an opinion,' said Eduardo. 'I'd love it if you came to work with us.'
At this, Beth smiled warmly at him. Eduardo smiled back, hoisted his washing basket onto his hip and prepared to leave the room, squeezing her arm as he passed her. Then suddenly she was bombarded by an image of him kissing her passionately, letting his washing fall to the floor and flop out of the basket in a soggy heap.
A moment later, the image was gone, and Eduardo was standing there as innocent as the day he was born. Beth stared at him, utterly dazed.
'You okay?' he asked.
'Um,' said Beth. 'Yes. Are you, um... are you sure you don't want to use the dryer?'
'I'm sure I don't want Carl on my back about your electric bill.'
'Well, we don't have to tell him.'
'No, really, it's okay,' said Eduardo, beginning to look uncomfortable. 'I don't want to be a bad influence on you.'
So saying, he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, then left the room with a parting smile.
Carl came home in the middle of the morning and found Beth on her hands and knees, scrubbing away at a stain on the living room carpet.
'What's that?' he asked.
'I don't know,' said Beth, in a voice so tight it might be about to snap, 'but it won't – come – out!'
'Maybe you should leave it alone for a while.'
'Why? What would that achieve?'
'It'd give you a chance to relax and cool down. You could do something else instead... maybe put these flowers in water or something.'
'Flowers?' Beth looked up in surprise, and her furious expression melted away. 'Oh, honey, you got me flowers for no reason! Um... it is for no reason, isn't it?'
'Just that I love you,' said Carl.
'Oh, Carl,' said Beth, rising to her feet, her eyes filling with tears. She tore off her rubber gloves, hurled them onto the floor and took the small bunch of flowers from her husband. 'I'm sorry I was short with you just now.'
'That's okay,' said Carl. 'I just wish I knew how to make you happier. I know flowers aren't a quick fix. Maybe if I tried getting the stain out for you...?'
'No, don't do that,' said Beth, making her way into the kitchen with Carl following. She found a vase and filled it with water. 'You have to be an expert to do something like that without wrecking the carpet, and besides, you've been working all night. I'll fix you something to eat.'
'Oh, I can do that,' said Carl.
'Carl,' said Beth, beginning to sound irritated again, 'it's my job to look after this house and this family. Believe me, asking me to not even do that is not going to help.'
'I thought you were bored with housework,' said Carl, also beginning to get irritated.
'I never said that,' said Beth. 'I'm just bored with not having anything else to do.'
'Well, what do you want me to do about that?'
'Nothing! I never said I blamed you! In fact I think I said I didn't blame you!'
'Yeah, that's right,' said Carl. 'You told my brother that, but you don't tell me anything anymore, do you? Because I'm a problem for you too!'
'Don't be stupid,' said Beth. 'Not everything is about you. Anyway, you don't have to worry about it anymore because I've found a solution. You know I went out last week with Kylie and Janine and T'Keyah?'
'Yes.'
'Well, Janine asked me if I wanted to cover her maternity leave.'
'What?' said Carl. 'You mean... you want to be a Ghostbuster?'
'No. Janine's their administrator. I'd just... no, not just... I'd be running the office for a year or so.'
Carl looked at her in amazement, and as he did so an image of Kylie appeared. She was at Beth's shoulder, whispering in her ear and shooting evil looks across the kitchen. Then, a moment later, she was gone. Carl kept on staring.
'I knew you'd be like this!' said Beth, once he'd been silent for some seconds.
'Like what?' said Carl. 'I haven't said anything! Well... not much. But I definitely haven't said I don't want you to do it.'
'It doesn't matter what you want anyway,' said Beth. 'It's my decision.'
'I thought we always made decisions together.'
'Oh, come on! You make all the decisions, and then you refer to yourself as “we” so it sounds like I had some say!'
'That's just not true! I asked your opinion about trying to get my shield, didn't I?'
'You knew I'd support you because I always do! But obviously it doesn't work both ways!'
She glared at her husband until the face she was seeing began to distort before her eyes. He became a huge, red-eyed monster, and his voice sounded deep and savage when he gave his reply: 'I can't seem to do anything right lately!'
Beth was terrified, and she turned back towards the sink with a gasp. Carl, meanwhile, turned and stalked from the room.
'What's that?' he asked.
'I don't know,' said Beth, in a voice so tight it might be about to snap, 'but it won't – come – out!'
'Maybe you should leave it alone for a while.'
'Why? What would that achieve?'
'It'd give you a chance to relax and cool down. You could do something else instead... maybe put these flowers in water or something.'
'Flowers?' Beth looked up in surprise, and her furious expression melted away. 'Oh, honey, you got me flowers for no reason! Um... it is for no reason, isn't it?'
'Just that I love you,' said Carl.
'Oh, Carl,' said Beth, rising to her feet, her eyes filling with tears. She tore off her rubber gloves, hurled them onto the floor and took the small bunch of flowers from her husband. 'I'm sorry I was short with you just now.'
'That's okay,' said Carl. 'I just wish I knew how to make you happier. I know flowers aren't a quick fix. Maybe if I tried getting the stain out for you...?'
'No, don't do that,' said Beth, making her way into the kitchen with Carl following. She found a vase and filled it with water. 'You have to be an expert to do something like that without wrecking the carpet, and besides, you've been working all night. I'll fix you something to eat.'
'Oh, I can do that,' said Carl.
'Carl,' said Beth, beginning to sound irritated again, 'it's my job to look after this house and this family. Believe me, asking me to not even do that is not going to help.'
'I thought you were bored with housework,' said Carl, also beginning to get irritated.
'I never said that,' said Beth. 'I'm just bored with not having anything else to do.'
'Well, what do you want me to do about that?'
'Nothing! I never said I blamed you! In fact I think I said I didn't blame you!'
'Yeah, that's right,' said Carl. 'You told my brother that, but you don't tell me anything anymore, do you? Because I'm a problem for you too!'
'Don't be stupid,' said Beth. 'Not everything is about you. Anyway, you don't have to worry about it anymore because I've found a solution. You know I went out last week with Kylie and Janine and T'Keyah?'
'Yes.'
'Well, Janine asked me if I wanted to cover her maternity leave.'
'What?' said Carl. 'You mean... you want to be a Ghostbuster?'
'No. Janine's their administrator. I'd just... no, not just... I'd be running the office for a year or so.'
Carl looked at her in amazement, and as he did so an image of Kylie appeared. She was at Beth's shoulder, whispering in her ear and shooting evil looks across the kitchen. Then, a moment later, she was gone. Carl kept on staring.
'I knew you'd be like this!' said Beth, once he'd been silent for some seconds.
'Like what?' said Carl. 'I haven't said anything! Well... not much. But I definitely haven't said I don't want you to do it.'
'It doesn't matter what you want anyway,' said Beth. 'It's my decision.'
'I thought we always made decisions together.'
'Oh, come on! You make all the decisions, and then you refer to yourself as “we” so it sounds like I had some say!'
'That's just not true! I asked your opinion about trying to get my shield, didn't I?'
'You knew I'd support you because I always do! But obviously it doesn't work both ways!'
She glared at her husband until the face she was seeing began to distort before her eyes. He became a huge, red-eyed monster, and his voice sounded deep and savage when he gave his reply: 'I can't seem to do anything right lately!'
Beth was terrified, and she turned back towards the sink with a gasp. Carl, meanwhile, turned and stalked from the room.
Eduardo answered his door looking tired and dishevelled. Carl took a few moments just to glare at him. Then he asked shortly, 'Is she here?'
Eduardo frowned. 'What?'
Carl frowned as well. 'Is Kylie here?'
'No. I'm studying. What's the problem?'
'My problem's with your girlfriend.'
'What problem?'
'I want to know what she's been saying to Beth.'
'So you're having a problem with Beth, not Kylie.'
'I don't understand her attitude,' said Carl. 'She must have picked it up from somewhere, and it can't be my fault this time because I'm really trying!'
'It's not Kylie's fault either,' said Eduardo. 'You can't blame her for your problems.'
'I can if she's causing them!'
'She is not causing them! Look, I don't need this right now. I was really hoping you wouldn't have a problem with Kylie. I mean, at least she's white. You want me to dilute the genes, don't you?'
'You can't seriously be thinking that far ahead,' said Carl.
'None of your business what I'm thinking,' said Eduardo.
'If that's what you're thinking, you were better off with Bess. She was more the marrying kind.'
'Oh, why – because you thought she was just a doormat? Well, you were wrong. Bess has her own mind, Carlos. Just like Kylie. Just like Beth.'
'Kylie's nothing like either of them,' said Carl. 'If you think a woman like her is going to settle down and –'
'What do you mean, “a woman like her”?' Eduardo said sharply.
'I just mean that she's so independent-minded,' said Carl. 'She can't be in an equal relationship.'
'What the hell do you know about equal relationships? Kylie's in one! And if Beth's decided she wants to be in one too, I'd say that's a good thing. Now will you please leave me alone?'
'No,' said Carl, scowling deeply. 'You caused this by bringing that woman into our lives, and now you're going to help me fix it. The problem with you is –'
'Your problem with me is that you can't control me! You never could, and neither could Dad! And now you're freaking out because you can't control Beth either, and you can't control Kevin, and gracias a Dios por eso! Usted no merece tu familia! No se dan cuenta –'
'Whoa, calm down!' said Carl, raising his hands in a halting gesture. 'What's the matter with you? You're not speaking Spanish just to annoy me this time, are you?'
Eduardo closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he said, 'No, I didn't even think about it. Does it really matter more than what I actually said?'
'I don't care what you said.' Carl looked at him uncomfortably. 'Are you okay?'
'I'm just stressed, Carlos.'
'Yes, well, I –'
'Don't say I told you so!'
Carl scowled. 'I wasn't going to. I was just going to say, I guess you're almost done, aren't you?'
'Yeah,' Eduardo said with a sigh. 'Finals week starts on Monday.'
'So... one big push and then it's over, right?'
'Yes, assuming I can get it right first time.'
'What are you going to do after that?'
'Are you about to try to pressure me into becoming a cop again?'
'I just thought I'd mention it,' Carl said airily, 'now you're so close. Think of how proud Dad would be. No, wait... I guess that won't work on you.'
'What the hell's that supposed to mean?' said Eduardo. 'You don't think I'd want him to be proud of me? It doesn't mean I'm gonna do exactly what he would've wanted, but I do think about him, no matter what people might think.'
Carl frowned. 'If by “people” you mean me –'
'No, not you – all the rest of them. You remember, don't you? Even though I was just a kid, you got all the sympathy because you worshipped him and I hated him.'
'I didn't worship him.'
'Well, I didn't hate him.'
After this, the conversation stopped abruptly, and they were silent for a long moment. Then Carl said, 'Maybe Beth was right about us sitting down and talking about our differences.'
'I don't want to do that,' said Eduardo.
'Well, we just made a pretty good start, didn't we?'
'And now we're gonna finish. I've said all I want to, okay?'
'Fine, have it your own way,' said Carl. 'But look, the next time you see Kylie –'
'Don't start that again!' said Eduardo, suddenly flaring up again. 'It's not her fault!'
'You don't know what I'm going to say!'
'Sure I do.'
'No you don't. I was going to ask you to put a word in for me because... well, I don't think she understands the situation with me and Beth, that's all. You're always defending her to me, so why not the other way around?'
'Because there's no need,' said Eduardo. 'She has better things to do than try to sabotage your marriage. And of course I'm gonna defend her to you when you're unreasonable and she's –'
'She's scheming and manipulative and she's got you exactly where she wants you! Why can't you see that?'
'Don't you talk about her like that!' said Eduardo, balling his fists and taking a step outside the doorway. 'You don't know –'
'Whoa!' said Beth, appearing suddenly on the staircase and stepping between them. 'It sounds like you both need to calm down.'
'He needs to calm down,' said Carl.
'I just need to get away from you,' said Eduardo, and turned to go back into his apartment, but Beth took hold of his arm.
'Eduardo, wait,' she said. 'I actually came up here to see you because I think... maybe... we have a ghost.'
Eduardo frowned. 'What?'
Carl frowned as well. 'Is Kylie here?'
'No. I'm studying. What's the problem?'
'My problem's with your girlfriend.'
'What problem?'
'I want to know what she's been saying to Beth.'
'So you're having a problem with Beth, not Kylie.'
'I don't understand her attitude,' said Carl. 'She must have picked it up from somewhere, and it can't be my fault this time because I'm really trying!'
'It's not Kylie's fault either,' said Eduardo. 'You can't blame her for your problems.'
'I can if she's causing them!'
'She is not causing them! Look, I don't need this right now. I was really hoping you wouldn't have a problem with Kylie. I mean, at least she's white. You want me to dilute the genes, don't you?'
'You can't seriously be thinking that far ahead,' said Carl.
'None of your business what I'm thinking,' said Eduardo.
'If that's what you're thinking, you were better off with Bess. She was more the marrying kind.'
'Oh, why – because you thought she was just a doormat? Well, you were wrong. Bess has her own mind, Carlos. Just like Kylie. Just like Beth.'
'Kylie's nothing like either of them,' said Carl. 'If you think a woman like her is going to settle down and –'
'What do you mean, “a woman like her”?' Eduardo said sharply.
'I just mean that she's so independent-minded,' said Carl. 'She can't be in an equal relationship.'
'What the hell do you know about equal relationships? Kylie's in one! And if Beth's decided she wants to be in one too, I'd say that's a good thing. Now will you please leave me alone?'
'No,' said Carl, scowling deeply. 'You caused this by bringing that woman into our lives, and now you're going to help me fix it. The problem with you is –'
'Your problem with me is that you can't control me! You never could, and neither could Dad! And now you're freaking out because you can't control Beth either, and you can't control Kevin, and gracias a Dios por eso! Usted no merece tu familia! No se dan cuenta –'
'Whoa, calm down!' said Carl, raising his hands in a halting gesture. 'What's the matter with you? You're not speaking Spanish just to annoy me this time, are you?'
Eduardo closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then he said, 'No, I didn't even think about it. Does it really matter more than what I actually said?'
'I don't care what you said.' Carl looked at him uncomfortably. 'Are you okay?'
'I'm just stressed, Carlos.'
'Yes, well, I –'
'Don't say I told you so!'
Carl scowled. 'I wasn't going to. I was just going to say, I guess you're almost done, aren't you?'
'Yeah,' Eduardo said with a sigh. 'Finals week starts on Monday.'
'So... one big push and then it's over, right?'
'Yes, assuming I can get it right first time.'
'What are you going to do after that?'
'Are you about to try to pressure me into becoming a cop again?'
'I just thought I'd mention it,' Carl said airily, 'now you're so close. Think of how proud Dad would be. No, wait... I guess that won't work on you.'
'What the hell's that supposed to mean?' said Eduardo. 'You don't think I'd want him to be proud of me? It doesn't mean I'm gonna do exactly what he would've wanted, but I do think about him, no matter what people might think.'
Carl frowned. 'If by “people” you mean me –'
'No, not you – all the rest of them. You remember, don't you? Even though I was just a kid, you got all the sympathy because you worshipped him and I hated him.'
'I didn't worship him.'
'Well, I didn't hate him.'
After this, the conversation stopped abruptly, and they were silent for a long moment. Then Carl said, 'Maybe Beth was right about us sitting down and talking about our differences.'
'I don't want to do that,' said Eduardo.
'Well, we just made a pretty good start, didn't we?'
'And now we're gonna finish. I've said all I want to, okay?'
'Fine, have it your own way,' said Carl. 'But look, the next time you see Kylie –'
'Don't start that again!' said Eduardo, suddenly flaring up again. 'It's not her fault!'
'You don't know what I'm going to say!'
'Sure I do.'
'No you don't. I was going to ask you to put a word in for me because... well, I don't think she understands the situation with me and Beth, that's all. You're always defending her to me, so why not the other way around?'
'Because there's no need,' said Eduardo. 'She has better things to do than try to sabotage your marriage. And of course I'm gonna defend her to you when you're unreasonable and she's –'
'She's scheming and manipulative and she's got you exactly where she wants you! Why can't you see that?'
'Don't you talk about her like that!' said Eduardo, balling his fists and taking a step outside the doorway. 'You don't know –'
'Whoa!' said Beth, appearing suddenly on the staircase and stepping between them. 'It sounds like you both need to calm down.'
'He needs to calm down,' said Carl.
'I just need to get away from you,' said Eduardo, and turned to go back into his apartment, but Beth took hold of his arm.
'Eduardo, wait,' she said. 'I actually came up here to see you because I think... maybe... we have a ghost.'
A short while later, the four Ghostbusters were in the Riveras' house, waving PKE meters around under Carl's disapproving gaze.
'So,' Garrett said to Beth, 'you're absolutely sure you don't want to tell us what you've been seeing?'
'It's personal,' said Beth.
Garrett turned to Eduardo. 'Can't you talk her into it, Eddie?'
'I already tried,' said Eduardo.
'Well, maybe you could just tell me,' said Kylie, putting her hand on Beth's arm. Carl glared at her, so Eduardo stopped what he was doing and glared at Carl.
'Sorry, Kylie,' said Beth. 'I definitely can't tell you.'
'Oh.' Kylie looked crestfallen and her hand dropped from Beth's arm. 'Well, I guess it doesn't really matter anyway, if we can just get rid of it for you.'
'Looks like it's upstairs, guys,' Roland announced from the hallway, and he began to ascend the staircase. Eduardo followed him, barging violently past Carl as he did so, and getting a vicious shove for his trouble. Carl then followed them, tailgating his brother all the way up the stairs.
Kylie turned to Beth, and asked in a low voice, 'What's with them?'
'I don't know,' said Beth. 'They were fighting about something just before we called you, but I have no idea what it was.'
The two women exchanged a look that clearly expressed what they thought about the situation, then Kylie made her way into the hallway and up the stairs. Beth let out a little sigh, turned round and saw Garrett smiling innocently at her across the room.
'So, Beth,' he said, 'you could just tell me.'
'Tell you?' said Beth. 'Oh, Garrett, I don't think so.'
'Why – because it's personal? That's exactly the kind of thing you can tell somebody you barely know. In a professional capacity, that is.'
'Do you mean it would help you to catch it?'
'Well, it'd sure help if we knew what we were looking for.'
'But you wouldn't see what I've been seeing,' said Beth. 'It shows me... things.'
'What things?' Garrett persisted.
'Well, visions, I suppose... illusions. It makes Carl look... different, and it makes me imagine things that... I definitely don't want, on any level. I mean, I guess it knows we've had... well, problems... but it's gotten its wires crossed somewhere. I love Carl, and I want him, and nobody else!'
'Okay,' Garrett said uncertainly, 'that's great, but getting back to the ghost...'
'That was about the ghost!' said Beth. 'Look, I don't want to go into details, but the truth is that Carl and I have had some issues lately and this thing is putting things in my head that make our problems look worse than they really are. And maybe in Carl's head too – I don't know because he won't tell me. But that's okay, because there's no way I'm telling him what I've been seeing. Oh, Garrett, I wonder what he has seen...'
'Well, don't get upset,' Garrett said hastily, as Beth's voice began to wobble. 'If you say there's no truth in these... “visions”... then there's nothing to worry about, right? It'd be bad news if we came here and found out there wasn't any ghost or demon, but there is, so that's what's responsible.'
'Are you sure about that?' asked Beth.
'What, that it's here? Absolutely.'
'No, I mean are you sure it's responsible? It's not... I don't know... tapping into my subconscious or something?'
'Hey,' said Garrett, 'only you know what's really on your mind. Are you sure it's responsible?'
'Yes,' Beth replied, without hesitation. 'I suppose I can see where it got the idea from, but I definitely don't want... well, I'm not telling you about that.'
'That's too bad,' Garrett said jovially. 'Sounds kind of interesting.'
Just as he finished saying this, there came from above the sound of heavy proton fire, and then a lot of splintering wood. Beth ran out into the hallway, hesitating for only a moment as a ghostly woman in white flew shrieking through the front door. Garrett at once set off after it, the wheels of his chair clattering loudly down the front steps.
'Oh, the stair rail!' Beth fretted, when she saw that the banister on the staircase had been almost totally incinerated.
'Sorry!' Roland called from the top of the stairs. 'My bad!'
Kylie ran down the stairs and out of the front door, just in time to catch Garrett's chair before it went careening into the street.
'Let's be careful, shall we?' she said.
'We don't have time to be careful!' said Garrett. 'She's getting away!'
They hurried after her, and Roland made to follow them, but Carl grabbed his arm halfway down the stairs and said, 'What are you going to do about this damage you've caused?'
'Lay off, Carlos,' said Eduardo, appearing behind Carl, and almost toppling off the banister-less staircase as he tried to get in between his brother and Roland. 'It was just an accident.'
'I've had about enough of you today, Eddie,' said Carl, turning on Eduardo. 'And you call me Carl!'
'Yeah, sometimes I do,' Eduardo muttered.
'What?'
'Nothing. Look, just let go of Roland, will you?'
Carl did let go of Roland, and turned his full attention to Eduardo. 'Your problem is,' he began, but Eduardo decided he didn't want to hear what his problem was, and barged past Carl to make his way down the stairs. Carl then grabbed Eduardo's sleeve to make him stay, and in his effort to pull himself free, Eduardo forgot the state of the banister and fell heavily onto the telephone table in the hallway. It broke, and the telephone ended up splayed across the floor and filling the space with an unnaturally loud dial tone.
Roland gaped in astonishment. Beth gasped, and her hand shot to her mouth. Kylie, having just appeared in the doorway, threw down the steaming ghost trap in her hand and ran to Eduardo's side. He was already pulling himself to his feet, wincing a little as he did so.
Kylie glared up at Carl, who was standing dumbstruck on the staircase, and said shrilly, 'Are you crazy?'
'It was partly my fault, Ky,' Eduardo said, putting an arm around her and shepherding her towards the doorway.
'It was not!' said Kylie, allowing Eduardo to lead her, but shooting foul looks at Carl over her shoulder as they went. 'I always knew he'd really hurt you one of these days!'
'I'm fine – don't worry about it.'
At last, Carl found his voice. 'Eddie...'
'I'm leaving now, Carlos,' said Eduardo.
At this, Carl's frown returned, and he said, 'My name is Carl!'
'And mine's Eduardo!' Eduardo said, turning suddenly, just as he reached the doorway. 'It's not Eddie, and it is definitely not “you” – it's Eduardo!'
With this parting shot, Eduardo turned again and ushered Kylie down the front steps, at the bottom of which Garrett was sitting and looking very awkward.
'So, um...' he said timidly, 'do you have a problem with me calling you –?'
'That's different,' Eduardo said tersely, and limped off towards the Ecto-1.
'He's not fine – I knew it!' said Kylie, trotting anxiously after him, while Roland scurried out of the house with Kylie's dropped ghost trap in his hands.
'So,' Garrett said to Beth, 'you're absolutely sure you don't want to tell us what you've been seeing?'
'It's personal,' said Beth.
Garrett turned to Eduardo. 'Can't you talk her into it, Eddie?'
'I already tried,' said Eduardo.
'Well, maybe you could just tell me,' said Kylie, putting her hand on Beth's arm. Carl glared at her, so Eduardo stopped what he was doing and glared at Carl.
'Sorry, Kylie,' said Beth. 'I definitely can't tell you.'
'Oh.' Kylie looked crestfallen and her hand dropped from Beth's arm. 'Well, I guess it doesn't really matter anyway, if we can just get rid of it for you.'
'Looks like it's upstairs, guys,' Roland announced from the hallway, and he began to ascend the staircase. Eduardo followed him, barging violently past Carl as he did so, and getting a vicious shove for his trouble. Carl then followed them, tailgating his brother all the way up the stairs.
Kylie turned to Beth, and asked in a low voice, 'What's with them?'
'I don't know,' said Beth. 'They were fighting about something just before we called you, but I have no idea what it was.'
The two women exchanged a look that clearly expressed what they thought about the situation, then Kylie made her way into the hallway and up the stairs. Beth let out a little sigh, turned round and saw Garrett smiling innocently at her across the room.
'So, Beth,' he said, 'you could just tell me.'
'Tell you?' said Beth. 'Oh, Garrett, I don't think so.'
'Why – because it's personal? That's exactly the kind of thing you can tell somebody you barely know. In a professional capacity, that is.'
'Do you mean it would help you to catch it?'
'Well, it'd sure help if we knew what we were looking for.'
'But you wouldn't see what I've been seeing,' said Beth. 'It shows me... things.'
'What things?' Garrett persisted.
'Well, visions, I suppose... illusions. It makes Carl look... different, and it makes me imagine things that... I definitely don't want, on any level. I mean, I guess it knows we've had... well, problems... but it's gotten its wires crossed somewhere. I love Carl, and I want him, and nobody else!'
'Okay,' Garrett said uncertainly, 'that's great, but getting back to the ghost...'
'That was about the ghost!' said Beth. 'Look, I don't want to go into details, but the truth is that Carl and I have had some issues lately and this thing is putting things in my head that make our problems look worse than they really are. And maybe in Carl's head too – I don't know because he won't tell me. But that's okay, because there's no way I'm telling him what I've been seeing. Oh, Garrett, I wonder what he has seen...'
'Well, don't get upset,' Garrett said hastily, as Beth's voice began to wobble. 'If you say there's no truth in these... “visions”... then there's nothing to worry about, right? It'd be bad news if we came here and found out there wasn't any ghost or demon, but there is, so that's what's responsible.'
'Are you sure about that?' asked Beth.
'What, that it's here? Absolutely.'
'No, I mean are you sure it's responsible? It's not... I don't know... tapping into my subconscious or something?'
'Hey,' said Garrett, 'only you know what's really on your mind. Are you sure it's responsible?'
'Yes,' Beth replied, without hesitation. 'I suppose I can see where it got the idea from, but I definitely don't want... well, I'm not telling you about that.'
'That's too bad,' Garrett said jovially. 'Sounds kind of interesting.'
Just as he finished saying this, there came from above the sound of heavy proton fire, and then a lot of splintering wood. Beth ran out into the hallway, hesitating for only a moment as a ghostly woman in white flew shrieking through the front door. Garrett at once set off after it, the wheels of his chair clattering loudly down the front steps.
'Oh, the stair rail!' Beth fretted, when she saw that the banister on the staircase had been almost totally incinerated.
'Sorry!' Roland called from the top of the stairs. 'My bad!'
Kylie ran down the stairs and out of the front door, just in time to catch Garrett's chair before it went careening into the street.
'Let's be careful, shall we?' she said.
'We don't have time to be careful!' said Garrett. 'She's getting away!'
They hurried after her, and Roland made to follow them, but Carl grabbed his arm halfway down the stairs and said, 'What are you going to do about this damage you've caused?'
'Lay off, Carlos,' said Eduardo, appearing behind Carl, and almost toppling off the banister-less staircase as he tried to get in between his brother and Roland. 'It was just an accident.'
'I've had about enough of you today, Eddie,' said Carl, turning on Eduardo. 'And you call me Carl!'
'Yeah, sometimes I do,' Eduardo muttered.
'What?'
'Nothing. Look, just let go of Roland, will you?'
Carl did let go of Roland, and turned his full attention to Eduardo. 'Your problem is,' he began, but Eduardo decided he didn't want to hear what his problem was, and barged past Carl to make his way down the stairs. Carl then grabbed Eduardo's sleeve to make him stay, and in his effort to pull himself free, Eduardo forgot the state of the banister and fell heavily onto the telephone table in the hallway. It broke, and the telephone ended up splayed across the floor and filling the space with an unnaturally loud dial tone.
Roland gaped in astonishment. Beth gasped, and her hand shot to her mouth. Kylie, having just appeared in the doorway, threw down the steaming ghost trap in her hand and ran to Eduardo's side. He was already pulling himself to his feet, wincing a little as he did so.
Kylie glared up at Carl, who was standing dumbstruck on the staircase, and said shrilly, 'Are you crazy?'
'It was partly my fault, Ky,' Eduardo said, putting an arm around her and shepherding her towards the doorway.
'It was not!' said Kylie, allowing Eduardo to lead her, but shooting foul looks at Carl over her shoulder as they went. 'I always knew he'd really hurt you one of these days!'
'I'm fine – don't worry about it.'
At last, Carl found his voice. 'Eddie...'
'I'm leaving now, Carlos,' said Eduardo.
At this, Carl's frown returned, and he said, 'My name is Carl!'
'And mine's Eduardo!' Eduardo said, turning suddenly, just as he reached the doorway. 'It's not Eddie, and it is definitely not “you” – it's Eduardo!'
With this parting shot, Eduardo turned again and ushered Kylie down the front steps, at the bottom of which Garrett was sitting and looking very awkward.
'So, um...' he said timidly, 'do you have a problem with me calling you –?'
'That's different,' Eduardo said tersely, and limped off towards the Ecto-1.
'He's not fine – I knew it!' said Kylie, trotting anxiously after him, while Roland scurried out of the house with Kylie's dropped ghost trap in his hands.
At the firehouse, Roland and Garrett watched with interest over Egon's shoulder as he tapped away at his computer, bringing up various information on his database. Kylie was pacing back and forth near the far corner of the room, while Eduardo was just coming in with an empty ghost trap.
'Well, that's her done and dusted,' he said. 'What was she?'
Before anyone could answer, Kylie suddenly announced, 'I oughtta go over there and the beat the tar out of him with his old stick!'
'His what?' said Garrett.
'His nightstick, of course,' Kylie snapped. 'It's the least he deserves!'
Eduardo crossed the room, put his arms around Kylie and steered her gently into the corner.
'I wish you'd calm down,' he said, in a low voice, while the others politely concentrated on the computer screen.
'I can't,' said Kylie.
'It must've looked worse than it was. I really am okay, and it's not like he pushed me or nothing.'
'I don't care. It happened because he was being too physical with you.'
'Yeah, I know. But I don't want you getting so upset about it.'
'I can't help it,' said Kylie. 'Sweetie, just think how you'd feel if it had been me.'
Eduardo did think for a moment. Then he said, 'I'd feel like I wanted to punch his lights out.'
'Do you think you could?'
'No, not really.'
'Well, I know I couldn't. So I'll have to use his nightstick, won't I?'
'You'll have to find it first,' Eduardo said, giving her a squeeze and kissing the top of her head.
From across the room, Garrett announced suddenly, 'That's her.' Eduardo and Kylie broke their embrace and went to look at the image on Egon's computer screen.
'This is the image of a ghost who's been said to haunt various locations all over the country,' said Egon. 'Of course, there's no guarantee that every sighting has been of the same entity, but it's likely that at least some of them were. It says here that her history has been traced back to a woman who lived and died in Indianapolis in the mid-Nineteenth Century.'
'Traced back by who?' asked Roland.
'Some kind of local historian,' said Egon. 'His methods probably weren't very scientific.'
'Yeah, well,' said Eduardo, 'they'll do for me. What's her story?'
'Her ghost is said to be a vengeful spirit who comes between married couples and drives them to break their union,' Egon told him. 'When she was a woman living in Indianapolis, she died unhappy in a loveless marriage to someone who was held in high esteem and heir to a small fortune. Well, I suppose the theory fits the facts, as far as we can tell.'
'So,' said Garrett, 'she wasn't happy in her marriage, and now she goes around wrecking everybody else's?'
'Not anymore,' said Eduardo.
'What about your brother's marriage?' asked Roland. 'How much damage has this ghost actually done?'
'The ghost hasn't caused the damage,' said Kylie.
'We already know what you think about Carl, Kylie,' said Garrett. 'You don't need to tell us again.'
Kylie scowled at him. 'I wasn't going to. I'm just saying, marriages don't break from the outside.'
'Well, that's deep,' said Garrett.
'It's just the truth,' said Kylie. 'If a marriage is strong, it can survive ghosts or Classmates-dot-com or whatever. And if it's not strong enough to survive those things, the couple shouldn't be staying together and making each other miserable.'
'Whoa,' said Roland. 'That's pretty cynical, Kylie.'
'It is not,' said Kylie. 'Look, I know TV doesn't like divorce, but did you ever ask someone who's actually experienced it? My parents split up, don't forget, and we were all a lot happier after they did.'
'You're not thinking of letting her out, are you?' said Garrett.
Kylie scowled at him. 'Are you being serious?'
'Well,' said Garrett, 'I don't know... kind of half, I guess. I mean you'd obviously like to hurt Carl right now, and getting his wife to leave him would be a pretty effective method, don't you think?'
'You haven't been listening, have you?' said Kylie. 'I can't get Beth to leave him, and neither can... what's her name, Egon?'
'Helen Huntingdon,' said Egon.
'Neither can Helen Huntingdon,' Kylie went on. 'Only Beth can make Beth leave, if that's what she wants to do, but I don't think it is. And yes, that makes her insane as far as I'm concerned, but that's beside the point. Or maybe I'm wrong – what the hell do I know about their stupid marriage? I don't understand it, that's for damn sure. I'm going for a walk.'
Having made this sudden announcement, Kylie just as suddenly left the room. Garrett, Roland and Eduardo watched her go with looks of concern.
'Should one of us go after her?' asked Roland.
'I don't think so,' said Eduardo.
'I hope she's not going to do anything rash,' said Garrett.
'Like what?' asked Roland.
'Well,' said Garrett, 'like... I don't know... steal Carl's gun and shoot him in the face or something.'
'I don't think Kylie would do anything like that,' said Egon, as he logged out of his database, 'no matter how much she might feel like it. I must say, I'd rather that Carl and Beth had told you about what they saw – or something more specific about it, at least. I don't like missing information.'
'Yeah, well, it's personal,' said Eduardo. 'I wouldn't have told us either.'
'Well, that's her done and dusted,' he said. 'What was she?'
Before anyone could answer, Kylie suddenly announced, 'I oughtta go over there and the beat the tar out of him with his old stick!'
'His what?' said Garrett.
'His nightstick, of course,' Kylie snapped. 'It's the least he deserves!'
Eduardo crossed the room, put his arms around Kylie and steered her gently into the corner.
'I wish you'd calm down,' he said, in a low voice, while the others politely concentrated on the computer screen.
'I can't,' said Kylie.
'It must've looked worse than it was. I really am okay, and it's not like he pushed me or nothing.'
'I don't care. It happened because he was being too physical with you.'
'Yeah, I know. But I don't want you getting so upset about it.'
'I can't help it,' said Kylie. 'Sweetie, just think how you'd feel if it had been me.'
Eduardo did think for a moment. Then he said, 'I'd feel like I wanted to punch his lights out.'
'Do you think you could?'
'No, not really.'
'Well, I know I couldn't. So I'll have to use his nightstick, won't I?'
'You'll have to find it first,' Eduardo said, giving her a squeeze and kissing the top of her head.
From across the room, Garrett announced suddenly, 'That's her.' Eduardo and Kylie broke their embrace and went to look at the image on Egon's computer screen.
'This is the image of a ghost who's been said to haunt various locations all over the country,' said Egon. 'Of course, there's no guarantee that every sighting has been of the same entity, but it's likely that at least some of them were. It says here that her history has been traced back to a woman who lived and died in Indianapolis in the mid-Nineteenth Century.'
'Traced back by who?' asked Roland.
'Some kind of local historian,' said Egon. 'His methods probably weren't very scientific.'
'Yeah, well,' said Eduardo, 'they'll do for me. What's her story?'
'Her ghost is said to be a vengeful spirit who comes between married couples and drives them to break their union,' Egon told him. 'When she was a woman living in Indianapolis, she died unhappy in a loveless marriage to someone who was held in high esteem and heir to a small fortune. Well, I suppose the theory fits the facts, as far as we can tell.'
'So,' said Garrett, 'she wasn't happy in her marriage, and now she goes around wrecking everybody else's?'
'Not anymore,' said Eduardo.
'What about your brother's marriage?' asked Roland. 'How much damage has this ghost actually done?'
'The ghost hasn't caused the damage,' said Kylie.
'We already know what you think about Carl, Kylie,' said Garrett. 'You don't need to tell us again.'
Kylie scowled at him. 'I wasn't going to. I'm just saying, marriages don't break from the outside.'
'Well, that's deep,' said Garrett.
'It's just the truth,' said Kylie. 'If a marriage is strong, it can survive ghosts or Classmates-dot-com or whatever. And if it's not strong enough to survive those things, the couple shouldn't be staying together and making each other miserable.'
'Whoa,' said Roland. 'That's pretty cynical, Kylie.'
'It is not,' said Kylie. 'Look, I know TV doesn't like divorce, but did you ever ask someone who's actually experienced it? My parents split up, don't forget, and we were all a lot happier after they did.'
'You're not thinking of letting her out, are you?' said Garrett.
Kylie scowled at him. 'Are you being serious?'
'Well,' said Garrett, 'I don't know... kind of half, I guess. I mean you'd obviously like to hurt Carl right now, and getting his wife to leave him would be a pretty effective method, don't you think?'
'You haven't been listening, have you?' said Kylie. 'I can't get Beth to leave him, and neither can... what's her name, Egon?'
'Helen Huntingdon,' said Egon.
'Neither can Helen Huntingdon,' Kylie went on. 'Only Beth can make Beth leave, if that's what she wants to do, but I don't think it is. And yes, that makes her insane as far as I'm concerned, but that's beside the point. Or maybe I'm wrong – what the hell do I know about their stupid marriage? I don't understand it, that's for damn sure. I'm going for a walk.'
Having made this sudden announcement, Kylie just as suddenly left the room. Garrett, Roland and Eduardo watched her go with looks of concern.
'Should one of us go after her?' asked Roland.
'I don't think so,' said Eduardo.
'I hope she's not going to do anything rash,' said Garrett.
'Like what?' asked Roland.
'Well,' said Garrett, 'like... I don't know... steal Carl's gun and shoot him in the face or something.'
'I don't think Kylie would do anything like that,' said Egon, as he logged out of his database, 'no matter how much she might feel like it. I must say, I'd rather that Carl and Beth had told you about what they saw – or something more specific about it, at least. I don't like missing information.'
'Yeah, well, it's personal,' said Eduardo. 'I wouldn't have told us either.'
Beth was sitting in an armchair in someone else's living room, looking very flustered. An elderly lady hobbled in with a tray full of tea and sweet treats, put this on the coffee table, sat down, picked up the teapot and poured tea into two mugs.
'There's nothing like a cup of hot, sweet tea to soothe the nerves,' the old lady announced, spooning vast quantities of sugar into one of the mugs. She then handed this to Beth. 'Here you go, dear.'
'Thanks, Mrs McCluskey,' said Beth, and took a sip of tea. Then she made a face.
'You like your tea?' Mrs McCluskey asked.
'Oh, it's just... just very strong. I like it.'
'Now, would you like to tell me about it, dear?'
'Oh, I don't know,' said Beth. 'I don't just want to sit here and complain about Carl when he can't even defend himself.'
'Take a bun,' Mrs McCluskey ordered. Beth took a bun, then Mrs McCluskey went on, 'I don't know Carl all that well, dear. Those boys tend to keep themselves to themselves, don't they? But to an outside observer, he seems rather... well, brusque.'
'He is,' said Beth, 'but not with me. That's a problem he has with Eduardo.'
'I haven't seen much of young Eduardo in the last year or so,' said Mrs McCluskey. 'Oh, he still says hello and carries my melons up to my front door occasionally, but not nearly as much as he used to. And I know why. It's because he's spending all of his time with that young lady, isn't it?'
'Yes,' said Beth, pausing in the act of forcing down her very sugary bun. 'I don't think anyone's seen as much of him since they've been together.'
'Because she's been busy seeing all of him,' said Mrs McCluskey, giggling as she picked up a bun that was heavily pregnant with jam. 'I've seen her many a morning, skipping off to wherever she goes, smiling like the Mona Lisa because she's just made love. Lucky thing!'
Mrs McCluskey laughed wickedly, then took a bite out of her bun, the pressure making the jam spill out all over her cardigan.
'Oh,' she said suddenly, 'look at my tit!'
Beth's eyes slid down to Mrs McCluskey's chest, where there was a puddle of jam on her cardigan. She opened her mouth to remark on this, then checked herself in time, noticing that her host was looking towards the window, where a small bird was hopping around on the outside sill.
'Oh yes,' said Beth, 'out of the window. How sweet.'
'But getting back to Eduardo and his young lady...' said Mrs McCluskey.
'What about them?' said Beth, turning back to face her. 'They don't have any problems.'
'Yet,' said Mrs McCluskey. 'They remind me of when you and Carl were just married and moving in next door. Of course, my husband was here then, and Bridget hadn't yet flown the nest. We used to gossip about you two, you know. Those two spend every spare moment in the bedroom, we said!'
'Oh,' said Beth, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.
'The truth is,' Mrs McCluskey went on, 'I think Alan and I were a little jealous. Well, I know I was. You see, I couldn't help pining for the days when he and I were the same way.'
Beth looked at her.
'I'm very perceptive, dear,' Mrs McCluskey added, with in inviting smile.
'I don't feel good about it, Mrs McCluskey,' said Beth. 'Jealousy is such an ugly emotion. And it's not like I want to... you know... with Eduardo or anything. You, um... didn't think that, did you?'
'No,' said Mrs McCluskey. 'If you ever looked at him with envy at how he was with her, you were thinking of yourself and Carl.'
'That's exactly it,' said Beth. 'But that's very hard on Carl, isn't it? It's different when you've been married for fifteen years.'
'Fifteen years on Thursday, isn't it?'
Beth smiled. 'Well remembered.'
'Most married couples go through something similar, dear. I've just told you that Alan and I did.'
'So did you, um... did you... did you... do anything about it?'
'Oh yes,' Mrs McCluskey smiled. 'You just have to try to make him remember.'
'I don't think I can make Carl remember anything yet,' said Beth. 'He's gone out to clear his head... and to order a new stair rail and side table because he, um... had a little accident. With Eduardo.'
'Oh dear!' said Mrs McCluskey. 'Well, I can't say I'm surprised. Are they both all right?'
'Physically, yes, I think so,' said Beth. 'Emotionally, I just don't know. I don't think I should start bothering Carl with... things... until he and Eduardo have gotten through all this.'
'Well,' said Mrs McCluskey, 'don't leave it too long. You're just as important as they are, you know. Now, if you'll excuse me... another call of nature. You just take my advice and recapture your spark while your bladder is still up to it! Would you mind helping me to the bathroom, dear?'
'Of course I don't mind,' said Beth, getting to her feet and grabbing Mrs McCluskey's arm. 'Why do you need help all of a sudden?'
'My eyesight is just a little blurry,' Mrs McCluskey said. 'It's all part of growing old, dear.'
'Mrs McCluskey, it sounds like you might be sick.'
'Nonsense! It takes more than blurred vision and a little yeast infection to stop me.'
'Mrs McCluskey! When you're finished in the bathroom, I'm taking you to see a doctor!'
'Oh, don't make such a fuss,' said Mrs McCluskey. 'You're starting to sound just like Bridget.'
'Good,' said Beth. 'I like Bridget. I'm going to get my car.'
'There's nothing like a cup of hot, sweet tea to soothe the nerves,' the old lady announced, spooning vast quantities of sugar into one of the mugs. She then handed this to Beth. 'Here you go, dear.'
'Thanks, Mrs McCluskey,' said Beth, and took a sip of tea. Then she made a face.
'You like your tea?' Mrs McCluskey asked.
'Oh, it's just... just very strong. I like it.'
'Now, would you like to tell me about it, dear?'
'Oh, I don't know,' said Beth. 'I don't just want to sit here and complain about Carl when he can't even defend himself.'
'Take a bun,' Mrs McCluskey ordered. Beth took a bun, then Mrs McCluskey went on, 'I don't know Carl all that well, dear. Those boys tend to keep themselves to themselves, don't they? But to an outside observer, he seems rather... well, brusque.'
'He is,' said Beth, 'but not with me. That's a problem he has with Eduardo.'
'I haven't seen much of young Eduardo in the last year or so,' said Mrs McCluskey. 'Oh, he still says hello and carries my melons up to my front door occasionally, but not nearly as much as he used to. And I know why. It's because he's spending all of his time with that young lady, isn't it?'
'Yes,' said Beth, pausing in the act of forcing down her very sugary bun. 'I don't think anyone's seen as much of him since they've been together.'
'Because she's been busy seeing all of him,' said Mrs McCluskey, giggling as she picked up a bun that was heavily pregnant with jam. 'I've seen her many a morning, skipping off to wherever she goes, smiling like the Mona Lisa because she's just made love. Lucky thing!'
Mrs McCluskey laughed wickedly, then took a bite out of her bun, the pressure making the jam spill out all over her cardigan.
'Oh,' she said suddenly, 'look at my tit!'
Beth's eyes slid down to Mrs McCluskey's chest, where there was a puddle of jam on her cardigan. She opened her mouth to remark on this, then checked herself in time, noticing that her host was looking towards the window, where a small bird was hopping around on the outside sill.
'Oh yes,' said Beth, 'out of the window. How sweet.'
'But getting back to Eduardo and his young lady...' said Mrs McCluskey.
'What about them?' said Beth, turning back to face her. 'They don't have any problems.'
'Yet,' said Mrs McCluskey. 'They remind me of when you and Carl were just married and moving in next door. Of course, my husband was here then, and Bridget hadn't yet flown the nest. We used to gossip about you two, you know. Those two spend every spare moment in the bedroom, we said!'
'Oh,' said Beth, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.
'The truth is,' Mrs McCluskey went on, 'I think Alan and I were a little jealous. Well, I know I was. You see, I couldn't help pining for the days when he and I were the same way.'
Beth looked at her.
'I'm very perceptive, dear,' Mrs McCluskey added, with in inviting smile.
'I don't feel good about it, Mrs McCluskey,' said Beth. 'Jealousy is such an ugly emotion. And it's not like I want to... you know... with Eduardo or anything. You, um... didn't think that, did you?'
'No,' said Mrs McCluskey. 'If you ever looked at him with envy at how he was with her, you were thinking of yourself and Carl.'
'That's exactly it,' said Beth. 'But that's very hard on Carl, isn't it? It's different when you've been married for fifteen years.'
'Fifteen years on Thursday, isn't it?'
Beth smiled. 'Well remembered.'
'Most married couples go through something similar, dear. I've just told you that Alan and I did.'
'So did you, um... did you... did you... do anything about it?'
'Oh yes,' Mrs McCluskey smiled. 'You just have to try to make him remember.'
'I don't think I can make Carl remember anything yet,' said Beth. 'He's gone out to clear his head... and to order a new stair rail and side table because he, um... had a little accident. With Eduardo.'
'Oh dear!' said Mrs McCluskey. 'Well, I can't say I'm surprised. Are they both all right?'
'Physically, yes, I think so,' said Beth. 'Emotionally, I just don't know. I don't think I should start bothering Carl with... things... until he and Eduardo have gotten through all this.'
'Well,' said Mrs McCluskey, 'don't leave it too long. You're just as important as they are, you know. Now, if you'll excuse me... another call of nature. You just take my advice and recapture your spark while your bladder is still up to it! Would you mind helping me to the bathroom, dear?'
'Of course I don't mind,' said Beth, getting to her feet and grabbing Mrs McCluskey's arm. 'Why do you need help all of a sudden?'
'My eyesight is just a little blurry,' Mrs McCluskey said. 'It's all part of growing old, dear.'
'Mrs McCluskey, it sounds like you might be sick.'
'Nonsense! It takes more than blurred vision and a little yeast infection to stop me.'
'Mrs McCluskey! When you're finished in the bathroom, I'm taking you to see a doctor!'
'Oh, don't make such a fuss,' said Mrs McCluskey. 'You're starting to sound just like Bridget.'
'Good,' said Beth. 'I like Bridget. I'm going to get my car.'
By this time, Kylie had found her way to the mall, and was browsing through the racks in Victoria's Secret. She paused to examine the price tag on a sheer nightdress, dropped the tag distastefully a moment later, then turned round and bumped into none other than Carl. He at once looked caught out and thoroughly embarrassed.
'What are you doing here?' he demanded.
'Buying underwear,' said Kylie. 'What's your excuse?'
Carl looked at his feet, and mumbled, 'I didn't know you bought underwear when you were mad.'
'Sometimes I do,' Kylie said airily. 'I didn't know you bought women's underwear when you were feeling guilty. That is how you feel, isn't it?'
'Of course it is,' Carl bristled. 'And I'm here for Beth, obviously. Now I suppose you're going to say that's patriarchal or something.'
'No,' said Kylie, frowning, 'not if Beth's going to like it.'
'She will... I think. I did this once before, and she liked it then. But that was a long time ago. I was so embarrassed buying it, I almost said it was for me.'
Kylie laughed in spite of herself, and said, 'So you've been afraid to try it since? Well, I guess that really is thinking about Beth before yourself.'
'Yes, well, this isn't the first time.'
'Do you want some help?'
'What do you mean?' Carl asked suspiciously.
'Nothing sinister,' said Kylie. 'I just thought if you gave me your money, I could pay for your stuff with mine, if I can find something on a student budget.'
'Well... I guess you could do that.'
'I can even try stuff on if you want me to – tell you if it's comfortable and it feels true to size and everything.'
'Aren't the sizes always the same?'
'Ha! Maybe in an ideal world.'
'But,' said Carl, 'you're not the same size as Beth... probably. Not that I've really looked, or... or thought about it...'
'Of course we're not the same size,' said Kylie. 'But I can try stuff in my size, then tell you if I think you need to go bigger or smaller somewhere. Why are you looking at me like that?'
'Like what?'
'Like you don't trust me.'
'Because you're furious with me right now,' said Carl, 'and I'm not exactly your favourite person at the best of times.'
'Oh, Carl,' Kylie sighed. 'Look, I'm offering for Beth's sake. I'd much rather help you to make her happy than try to sabotage your marriage by making you get her a bra that pinches.'
'I guess it sounds pretty stupid when you put it like that.'
'It does, doesn't it? So will you let me help you?'
'Yeah, I guess so.'
'Good. Look, to make sure you really trust me, we'll get a few options just in case. You can give Beth the one we think will fit, which it probably will, and I'll return the rest for you next week.'
'Could it be the end of the week?' asked Carl. 'It's our anniversary on Thursday.'
'It is?' said Kylie. 'Well, congratulations. The end of the week will be fine – they give you plenty of time. Besides, I have finals week to worry about first. So, shall we do this?'
'What are you doing here?' he demanded.
'Buying underwear,' said Kylie. 'What's your excuse?'
Carl looked at his feet, and mumbled, 'I didn't know you bought underwear when you were mad.'
'Sometimes I do,' Kylie said airily. 'I didn't know you bought women's underwear when you were feeling guilty. That is how you feel, isn't it?'
'Of course it is,' Carl bristled. 'And I'm here for Beth, obviously. Now I suppose you're going to say that's patriarchal or something.'
'No,' said Kylie, frowning, 'not if Beth's going to like it.'
'She will... I think. I did this once before, and she liked it then. But that was a long time ago. I was so embarrassed buying it, I almost said it was for me.'
Kylie laughed in spite of herself, and said, 'So you've been afraid to try it since? Well, I guess that really is thinking about Beth before yourself.'
'Yes, well, this isn't the first time.'
'Do you want some help?'
'What do you mean?' Carl asked suspiciously.
'Nothing sinister,' said Kylie. 'I just thought if you gave me your money, I could pay for your stuff with mine, if I can find something on a student budget.'
'Well... I guess you could do that.'
'I can even try stuff on if you want me to – tell you if it's comfortable and it feels true to size and everything.'
'Aren't the sizes always the same?'
'Ha! Maybe in an ideal world.'
'But,' said Carl, 'you're not the same size as Beth... probably. Not that I've really looked, or... or thought about it...'
'Of course we're not the same size,' said Kylie. 'But I can try stuff in my size, then tell you if I think you need to go bigger or smaller somewhere. Why are you looking at me like that?'
'Like what?'
'Like you don't trust me.'
'Because you're furious with me right now,' said Carl, 'and I'm not exactly your favourite person at the best of times.'
'Oh, Carl,' Kylie sighed. 'Look, I'm offering for Beth's sake. I'd much rather help you to make her happy than try to sabotage your marriage by making you get her a bra that pinches.'
'I guess it sounds pretty stupid when you put it like that.'
'It does, doesn't it? So will you let me help you?'
'Yeah, I guess so.'
'Good. Look, to make sure you really trust me, we'll get a few options just in case. You can give Beth the one we think will fit, which it probably will, and I'll return the rest for you next week.'
'Could it be the end of the week?' asked Carl. 'It's our anniversary on Thursday.'
'It is?' said Kylie. 'Well, congratulations. The end of the week will be fine – they give you plenty of time. Besides, I have finals week to worry about first. So, shall we do this?'
Eduardo approached Carl and Beth's house, rang the doorbell and waited. Then he banged the knocker and waited. Then, frowning with concern, he took out his keys and let himself in. He saw that the remains of the banister and side table had been swept into as neat a pile as possible in the far corner of the hallway. He ventured towards it, and saw that a note had been left on the top of the debris.
Have taken Mrs McCluskey to Gouverneur Health, it read.
Eduardo looked worried, went to the phone (which was on the stairs, around chest level), picked up the receiver and pressed one of the higher numbers on the speed dial.
'Bridget, hi,' he said, when somebody answered. 'It's Eduardo – you know, your mom's neighbour? Yeah, I'm good. Listen, what's this about Beth taking your mom to the health centre?'
Have taken Mrs McCluskey to Gouverneur Health, it read.
Eduardo looked worried, went to the phone (which was on the stairs, around chest level), picked up the receiver and pressed one of the higher numbers on the speed dial.
'Bridget, hi,' he said, when somebody answered. 'It's Eduardo – you know, your mom's neighbour? Yeah, I'm good. Listen, what's this about Beth taking your mom to the health centre?'
The elevator doors closed on Kylie and Carl, and Carl pressed the button for the upper level.
'What are you doing?' asked Kylie.
'I need to go to Reagan Cards,' said Carl.
'Well, I don't – I need to get out of here.'
'Yeah? You don't want to maybe help me pick a card first?'
'No way!' said Kylie, frowning at him with deep disapproval. 'Look, women's underwear is one thing, but if you can't even choose your own anniversary card then – whoa!' Her eyes widened in alarm as the elevator suddenly clanked to a halt.
'Aw crap!' said Carl. Then he turned to the button pad and pushed the alarm. After a few seconds, he said, 'Why is no one answering?'
'Don't panic,' said Kylie. 'Let's give them ten minutes and then try again.'
'What are you doing?' asked Kylie.
'I need to go to Reagan Cards,' said Carl.
'Well, I don't – I need to get out of here.'
'Yeah? You don't want to maybe help me pick a card first?'
'No way!' said Kylie, frowning at him with deep disapproval. 'Look, women's underwear is one thing, but if you can't even choose your own anniversary card then – whoa!' Her eyes widened in alarm as the elevator suddenly clanked to a halt.
'Aw crap!' said Carl. Then he turned to the button pad and pushed the alarm. After a few seconds, he said, 'Why is no one answering?'
'Don't panic,' said Kylie. 'Let's give them ten minutes and then try again.'
Beth was waiting in the eye clinic at the medical centre, doing a crossword in a magazine. When she glanced up and saw Eduardo approaching her, she threw down the magazine and pen, and leapt to her feet in alarm.
'Eduardo, what's wrong?' she cried. 'Did you get hurt? Wait, this is the eye department.' She gasped. 'Oh my God, he's blinded you!'
'Calm down, Beth, I'm fine,' said Eduardo. 'I just want to know what's up with Mrs McCluskey.'
'Oh, thank goodness,' said Beth, sinking back into her seat. Eduardo sat down next to her. 'Well, they just found out she has type two diabetes.'
'Oh,' said Eduardo, looking a little sheepish. 'Well, I guess that's not worth panicking Bridget over.'
'What do you mean?'
'I called her. I wish I hadn't now.'
'Don't worry,' said Beth, patting his hand. 'It could still be serious. Not that we want that, of course, but we don't know what's wrong with her vision yet. She's in with Lucy's father right now.'
'Lucy's father?'
'He's an eye doctor.'
'Oh.'
'Eduardo, what's wrong?' she cried. 'Did you get hurt? Wait, this is the eye department.' She gasped. 'Oh my God, he's blinded you!'
'Calm down, Beth, I'm fine,' said Eduardo. 'I just want to know what's up with Mrs McCluskey.'
'Oh, thank goodness,' said Beth, sinking back into her seat. Eduardo sat down next to her. 'Well, they just found out she has type two diabetes.'
'Oh,' said Eduardo, looking a little sheepish. 'Well, I guess that's not worth panicking Bridget over.'
'What do you mean?'
'I called her. I wish I hadn't now.'
'Don't worry,' said Beth, patting his hand. 'It could still be serious. Not that we want that, of course, but we don't know what's wrong with her vision yet. She's in with Lucy's father right now.'
'Lucy's father?'
'He's an eye doctor.'
'Oh.'
Kylie was sitting in a corner of the elevator with the Victoria's Secret bag on her lap, staring into space and blowing out her cheeks while she waited for help to come. She suddenly became alert, however, when one of her earrings slipped off and fell down into the bag. Tutting with irritation, Kylie dived into the bag and began rummaging among its contents. Carl looked at her with deep suspicion.
'Are you doing something to my lingerie?' he demanded.
'No – this fell down and it was inside and I had to go find it!' said Kylie, as she resurfaced with the earring.
Carl frowned, turned and began jabbing at the elevator buttons again, saying, 'Why the hell isn't anybody doing anything about this?'
'You're not claustrophobic, are you?'
'Of course I'm not claustrophobic!'
'All right, calm down,' said Kylie, coolly putting her earring back in. 'So what if you were? It wouldn't make you any less of a man.'
'Yes, well,' said Carl, 'you'd know all about that.'
Kylie looked at him sharply. 'All about what?'
'Making someone less of a man.'
'Jesus Christ, Carl, seriously?'
Carl sighed, and said, 'Just forget it.'
'No!' said Kylie. 'You need to understand that being strong doesn't mean making somebody else weak. What exactly is your problem now, anyway – me being the one who buys the lingerie?'
'I knew you thought me doing it was patriarchal!' Carl said triumphantly.
'I didn't say that and I never even thought it!' Kylie fumed, getting to her feet. 'You were doing what you had to do, and I was doing what I had to do. Eduardo hasn't had a good week, you know,' she added significantly.
'I didn't know that,' said Carl. 'Just the part I played in it. Now don't tell me any more – I do not want to know what you're planning to do about it.'
'I'd love to know what you're planning to do about it.'
'I can't do anything until we get out of this!'
'Yes, well,' said Kylie, 'while we're waiting, I'd appreciate it if you stopped accusing me of things. I don't try to split up people's marriages. I'm not Helen Huntingdon.'
'Who?' said Carl.
'Your ghost.'
'What?'
'The ghost we caught this morning. Her name was Helen Huntingdon, and she was trying to make Beth see what an unreasonable, overbearing control freak you really are because that's what she does now she's dead. She was trapped in a crappy marriage too.'
Carl glared at her. 'What do you mean “too”?'
'I don't get why Beth's with you.'
'Have you told her that?'
'No! I told you, I don't do things like that!'
They glared at each other for a few moments, then both their gazes dropped.
'Why is it always a woman, anyway?' asked Carl.
'What?'
'Well, whenever you hear about anything like that, it's always an unhappy wife. Why is that? Can't men be unhappily married?'
'Of course they can,' said Kylie. 'When you hear those kinds of stories, they're always from like the Nineteenth Century – or earlier – and things were different then. If a man didn't like his wife, he could avoid her all he wanted and take a mistress or whatever, but if a wife was unhappy she couldn't do anything about it. I know it's different now, though – you can't make me say something sexist.'
'I wasn't trying to.'
'Yes you were. You're trying to make it look like I think men suck.'
'What would be the point of that? To protect my brother? I can't tell him anything about you!'
'You want a piece of me?' said Kylie.
'What?'
'You wanna go right now?'
'Ha!' said Carl. 'Don't tempt me.'
'Oh yeah?' said Kylie, squaring her shoulders and trying to make herself look tall. 'Let's go, man!'
So saying, she took a flying leap across the elevator and launched herself at Carl.
'Are you doing something to my lingerie?' he demanded.
'No – this fell down and it was inside and I had to go find it!' said Kylie, as she resurfaced with the earring.
Carl frowned, turned and began jabbing at the elevator buttons again, saying, 'Why the hell isn't anybody doing anything about this?'
'You're not claustrophobic, are you?'
'Of course I'm not claustrophobic!'
'All right, calm down,' said Kylie, coolly putting her earring back in. 'So what if you were? It wouldn't make you any less of a man.'
'Yes, well,' said Carl, 'you'd know all about that.'
Kylie looked at him sharply. 'All about what?'
'Making someone less of a man.'
'Jesus Christ, Carl, seriously?'
Carl sighed, and said, 'Just forget it.'
'No!' said Kylie. 'You need to understand that being strong doesn't mean making somebody else weak. What exactly is your problem now, anyway – me being the one who buys the lingerie?'
'I knew you thought me doing it was patriarchal!' Carl said triumphantly.
'I didn't say that and I never even thought it!' Kylie fumed, getting to her feet. 'You were doing what you had to do, and I was doing what I had to do. Eduardo hasn't had a good week, you know,' she added significantly.
'I didn't know that,' said Carl. 'Just the part I played in it. Now don't tell me any more – I do not want to know what you're planning to do about it.'
'I'd love to know what you're planning to do about it.'
'I can't do anything until we get out of this!'
'Yes, well,' said Kylie, 'while we're waiting, I'd appreciate it if you stopped accusing me of things. I don't try to split up people's marriages. I'm not Helen Huntingdon.'
'Who?' said Carl.
'Your ghost.'
'What?'
'The ghost we caught this morning. Her name was Helen Huntingdon, and she was trying to make Beth see what an unreasonable, overbearing control freak you really are because that's what she does now she's dead. She was trapped in a crappy marriage too.'
Carl glared at her. 'What do you mean “too”?'
'I don't get why Beth's with you.'
'Have you told her that?'
'No! I told you, I don't do things like that!'
They glared at each other for a few moments, then both their gazes dropped.
'Why is it always a woman, anyway?' asked Carl.
'What?'
'Well, whenever you hear about anything like that, it's always an unhappy wife. Why is that? Can't men be unhappily married?'
'Of course they can,' said Kylie. 'When you hear those kinds of stories, they're always from like the Nineteenth Century – or earlier – and things were different then. If a man didn't like his wife, he could avoid her all he wanted and take a mistress or whatever, but if a wife was unhappy she couldn't do anything about it. I know it's different now, though – you can't make me say something sexist.'
'I wasn't trying to.'
'Yes you were. You're trying to make it look like I think men suck.'
'What would be the point of that? To protect my brother? I can't tell him anything about you!'
'You want a piece of me?' said Kylie.
'What?'
'You wanna go right now?'
'Ha!' said Carl. 'Don't tempt me.'
'Oh yeah?' said Kylie, squaring her shoulders and trying to make herself look tall. 'Let's go, man!'
So saying, she took a flying leap across the elevator and launched herself at Carl.
Beth and Eduardo stood up as a woman who looked to be aged somewhere between them entered the waiting area.
'Bridget, hi,' said Eduardo. 'I'm so sorry I freaked you out.'
'Oh, don't be,' said Bridget. 'I've been half expecting something like this to happen. She's been threatening to give herself a heart attack for years.'
'Well, it wasn't a heart attack,' said Beth. 'She has type two diabetes.'
'Yeah?' said Bridget. 'So why are we in the eye clinic?'
'Bridget!' Mrs McCluskey cut across them, as she approached in the company of Lucy Chan's doctor father. 'What are you doing here, darling?'
'Eduardo called me,' said Bridget. 'Mom, what's going on?'
'Oh, nothing,' said Mrs McCluskey. 'I'm just going blind, that's all.'
'Now then, Mrs McCluskey,' Dr Chan said admonishingly. 'The condition is only in one eye, and the treatment we're going to give you is usually very effective.'
'What condition?' asked Bridget.
'Central retinal vein occlusion,' said Mrs McCluskey. 'That's right, Doctor, isn't it?'
'Yes, well remembered,' said Dr Chan. 'It means that the blood isn't draining from the vein at the rate it ought to be, probably because of the diabetes. You'll have to cut down significantly on sugar, Mrs McCluskey.'
'She needs to cut down on sugar all right,' Beth said quietly to Eduardo, as Dr Chan went on. 'You should see what she eats and drinks with a casual caller!'
'Let's get out of here,' said Eduardo, putting his arm around Beth and leading her out of the waiting room. 'You were at her place to unload, weren't you? Are you okay?'
'Of course I'm okay,' said Beth. 'It's you and Carl I'm worried about.'
'That was just a stupid accident,' said Eduardo. 'I thought maybe I should try to talk to him and clear the air. He wasn't home, though – where is he? Or was he just asleep?'
'No, he went out to clear his head. And to order a replacement stair rail and side table.'
'Yeah, that needs doing. Maybe he's home by now. I'd like to try calling Kylie first, though – I'm kind of worried about her. She said she was going for a walk a while ago, and she was mad as hell.'
'Go ahead,' said Beth, taking out her cell phone. 'I'll try to get hold of Carl.'
By this time, they had reached the street outside. Eduardo got out his cell phone too, and they both dialled. After standing and listening to several rings, they exchanged anxious looks.
'Bridget, hi,' said Eduardo. 'I'm so sorry I freaked you out.'
'Oh, don't be,' said Bridget. 'I've been half expecting something like this to happen. She's been threatening to give herself a heart attack for years.'
'Well, it wasn't a heart attack,' said Beth. 'She has type two diabetes.'
'Yeah?' said Bridget. 'So why are we in the eye clinic?'
'Bridget!' Mrs McCluskey cut across them, as she approached in the company of Lucy Chan's doctor father. 'What are you doing here, darling?'
'Eduardo called me,' said Bridget. 'Mom, what's going on?'
'Oh, nothing,' said Mrs McCluskey. 'I'm just going blind, that's all.'
'Now then, Mrs McCluskey,' Dr Chan said admonishingly. 'The condition is only in one eye, and the treatment we're going to give you is usually very effective.'
'What condition?' asked Bridget.
'Central retinal vein occlusion,' said Mrs McCluskey. 'That's right, Doctor, isn't it?'
'Yes, well remembered,' said Dr Chan. 'It means that the blood isn't draining from the vein at the rate it ought to be, probably because of the diabetes. You'll have to cut down significantly on sugar, Mrs McCluskey.'
'She needs to cut down on sugar all right,' Beth said quietly to Eduardo, as Dr Chan went on. 'You should see what she eats and drinks with a casual caller!'
'Let's get out of here,' said Eduardo, putting his arm around Beth and leading her out of the waiting room. 'You were at her place to unload, weren't you? Are you okay?'
'Of course I'm okay,' said Beth. 'It's you and Carl I'm worried about.'
'That was just a stupid accident,' said Eduardo. 'I thought maybe I should try to talk to him and clear the air. He wasn't home, though – where is he? Or was he just asleep?'
'No, he went out to clear his head. And to order a replacement stair rail and side table.'
'Yeah, that needs doing. Maybe he's home by now. I'd like to try calling Kylie first, though – I'm kind of worried about her. She said she was going for a walk a while ago, and she was mad as hell.'
'Go ahead,' said Beth, taking out her cell phone. 'I'll try to get hold of Carl.'
By this time, they had reached the street outside. Eduardo got out his cell phone too, and they both dialled. After standing and listening to several rings, they exchanged anxious looks.
The scene in the elevator, meanwhile, had become very ugly indeed. In fact as far as Carl was concerned, Kylie had taken on the form of a sexually confident, snake-tongued demon, while he appeared to her like a rampaging, horned beast. He found no trouble in staving off her attacks; as quickly as she flew at him, he knocked her back, and sent her reeling into the far corner. He was not attacking her, just rebuffing her, and looking more and more thoughtful with each blow she aimed at him. Finally, he caught hold of her arms and said through deep, exhausted breaths, 'Kylie... stop...'
'You stop!' she spat, struggling in his grip.
'I have! Kylie, listen... I think there's some kind of demon in here with us.'
'There's what?' She stopped struggling. 'What makes you say that?'
'A few things, but the main one is that you look like something out of a cheap horror movie.'
'I do?' said Kylie. 'That's weird. You look like something out of a Greek myth.'
'Well, that's not right, is it?'
'Um... no, I guess not. Let me go, Carl – I promise I won't attack you anymore.'
He let go of her arms, and she turned away from him, clutching her skull as she tried to regain her senses. He turned his back to her as well, and stared at the elevator buttons.
'It's just like in the house,' he said. 'I should've admitted what I was seeing. Something was trying to make me want to kill you, or at least do you serious harm.'
'Me?' said Kylie. 'No, the ghost in the house was Helen Huntingdon. She was trying to split up you and Beth. We caught her – she's in the containment unit.'
'There must've been more than one. What I saw was never really about Beth. It was about you.'
'I don't get it,' said Kylie. 'Why would a demon want to make you hate me?'
'I don't know,' said Carl. 'It was building on ideas that were already there – we both know that – but lately I've felt ten times worse about you than I ever used to. I should've said something. Then you and your Ghostbuster friends would've figured out it was something different going to work on me. Or even if I didn't, you'd have hung around long enough to realise it if I hadn't hurled Eduardo down the stairs.'
Kylie risked a glance at him over her shoulder, and saw that he was looking normal from the back.
'You didn't exactly hurl him down the stairs, Carl,' she said.
'No?' said Carl. 'Then what were you so upset about?'
'Carl, listen.' Kylie turned all the way round to face him. 'I think the demon must be stopping us from communicating with whoever's supposed to respond to that alarm button. It seems like no one's even noticed this thing is stuck, so we have to try to get out of here ourselves. Roland can open elevator doors with his bare hands, you know – I bet you could do that.'
'Sure I could. But we're right between floors – the outer doors'll be too far above us.'
'Maybe not. Prise open the inner doors and let's see.'
'All right,' said Carl, and he set to work.
'Do you need me to help?' asked Kylie.
'Well,' said Carl, 'no, not really. It'd be no good doing one door each, so you'd have to get in front of me and, well...'
'It's okay,' said Kylie. 'I'm not offended, I promise.'
Carl concentrated all of his efforts into prising the inner doors open, managed it, then looked up for the outer doors.
'Well,' he said, 'I can see a little. It'll be hard doing it from down here, though, and then it won't be enough to get out anyway.'
'I think I could get through there,' said Kylie. 'And even if I can't, I can stick my arm out and wave or something. We're going to have to try, Carl.'
'Yeah, okay,' said Carl, making himself as tall as possible to reach the doors.
'Do you need to stand on something?' asked Kylie.
'Like what – a stack of women's underwear?'
'Well, no. There's just me, but that's okay – I used to take a lot of the weight of the pyramid when I was a cheerleader.'
Carl sniggered. 'You were a cheerleader?'
'I happened to be eighth grade cheerleader of the year, Carl, thank you very much,' she said jovially.
'Well,' said Carl, the strain now showing in his voice, 'I don't think I should stand on you anyway. In fact, I think I've just about...'
He exhaled heavily as the doors finally yielded.
'Okay,' said Carl, lowering himself to his knees, 'here's a better idea: you stand on me.'
'You stop!' she spat, struggling in his grip.
'I have! Kylie, listen... I think there's some kind of demon in here with us.'
'There's what?' She stopped struggling. 'What makes you say that?'
'A few things, but the main one is that you look like something out of a cheap horror movie.'
'I do?' said Kylie. 'That's weird. You look like something out of a Greek myth.'
'Well, that's not right, is it?'
'Um... no, I guess not. Let me go, Carl – I promise I won't attack you anymore.'
He let go of her arms, and she turned away from him, clutching her skull as she tried to regain her senses. He turned his back to her as well, and stared at the elevator buttons.
'It's just like in the house,' he said. 'I should've admitted what I was seeing. Something was trying to make me want to kill you, or at least do you serious harm.'
'Me?' said Kylie. 'No, the ghost in the house was Helen Huntingdon. She was trying to split up you and Beth. We caught her – she's in the containment unit.'
'There must've been more than one. What I saw was never really about Beth. It was about you.'
'I don't get it,' said Kylie. 'Why would a demon want to make you hate me?'
'I don't know,' said Carl. 'It was building on ideas that were already there – we both know that – but lately I've felt ten times worse about you than I ever used to. I should've said something. Then you and your Ghostbuster friends would've figured out it was something different going to work on me. Or even if I didn't, you'd have hung around long enough to realise it if I hadn't hurled Eduardo down the stairs.'
Kylie risked a glance at him over her shoulder, and saw that he was looking normal from the back.
'You didn't exactly hurl him down the stairs, Carl,' she said.
'No?' said Carl. 'Then what were you so upset about?'
'Carl, listen.' Kylie turned all the way round to face him. 'I think the demon must be stopping us from communicating with whoever's supposed to respond to that alarm button. It seems like no one's even noticed this thing is stuck, so we have to try to get out of here ourselves. Roland can open elevator doors with his bare hands, you know – I bet you could do that.'
'Sure I could. But we're right between floors – the outer doors'll be too far above us.'
'Maybe not. Prise open the inner doors and let's see.'
'All right,' said Carl, and he set to work.
'Do you need me to help?' asked Kylie.
'Well,' said Carl, 'no, not really. It'd be no good doing one door each, so you'd have to get in front of me and, well...'
'It's okay,' said Kylie. 'I'm not offended, I promise.'
Carl concentrated all of his efforts into prising the inner doors open, managed it, then looked up for the outer doors.
'Well,' he said, 'I can see a little. It'll be hard doing it from down here, though, and then it won't be enough to get out anyway.'
'I think I could get through there,' said Kylie. 'And even if I can't, I can stick my arm out and wave or something. We're going to have to try, Carl.'
'Yeah, okay,' said Carl, making himself as tall as possible to reach the doors.
'Do you need to stand on something?' asked Kylie.
'Like what – a stack of women's underwear?'
'Well, no. There's just me, but that's okay – I used to take a lot of the weight of the pyramid when I was a cheerleader.'
Carl sniggered. 'You were a cheerleader?'
'I happened to be eighth grade cheerleader of the year, Carl, thank you very much,' she said jovially.
'Well,' said Carl, the strain now showing in his voice, 'I don't think I should stand on you anyway. In fact, I think I've just about...'
He exhaled heavily as the doors finally yielded.
'Okay,' said Carl, lowering himself to his knees, 'here's a better idea: you stand on me.'
Beth and Eduardo were also in the mall by this time, making enquiries in a department store amid a display of side tables. Eduardo was speaking to a smartly-dressed saleswoman when Beth suddenly grabbed his arm, pointed and said, 'Eduardo, look!'
Eduardo looked, then gaped in astonishment to see Kylie wriggling out of a pair of elevator doors through a very small space at the bottom. Then, once over his surprise, he left the store and went to offer his assistance.
'Eduardo!' Kylie said gleefully, flinging her arms around him once she was on her feet. 'Oh, I'm so glad to see you, sweetie! What are you doing here?'
'I'm here with Beth,' said Eduardo. 'We're trying to find Carl.'
'He's in the elevator,' said Kylie. Then she turned, crouched down to the gap and called, 'Don't worry, Carl, I'll find someone to get you out of there!'
'Okay, thanks!' Carl's voice floated up to her.
'What's going on, babe?' asked Eduardo, as Beth scurried over to join them.
'I'll tell you later,' said Kylie, waving over a man in security uniform. 'We need to call the firehouse first. There's a demon hanging around here somewhere – a real nasty one too!'
Eduardo looked, then gaped in astonishment to see Kylie wriggling out of a pair of elevator doors through a very small space at the bottom. Then, once over his surprise, he left the store and went to offer his assistance.
'Eduardo!' Kylie said gleefully, flinging her arms around him once she was on her feet. 'Oh, I'm so glad to see you, sweetie! What are you doing here?'
'I'm here with Beth,' said Eduardo. 'We're trying to find Carl.'
'He's in the elevator,' said Kylie. Then she turned, crouched down to the gap and called, 'Don't worry, Carl, I'll find someone to get you out of there!'
'Okay, thanks!' Carl's voice floated up to her.
'What's going on, babe?' asked Eduardo, as Beth scurried over to join them.
'I'll tell you later,' said Kylie, waving over a man in security uniform. 'We need to call the firehouse first. There's a demon hanging around here somewhere – a real nasty one too!'
A little while later, Carl was out of the elevator, and he and Kylie were listening to the grovelling apologies of several members of mall staff. Roland was there too, carrying a smoking ghost trap down the stairs, while Garrett waited for one of the working elevators with a dubious look on his face. Eduardo stood with Beth, both of them watching impatiently as a man in a suit handed a sheaf of vouchers to Kylie and Carl.
'I have to go,' said Beth. 'Kevin will be home from school by now. I feel terrible about him coming back to an empty house.'
'I'm sure he's fine with it,' said Eduardo. 'That's why you left the note, isn't it?'
'Yes,' said Beth. 'Oh dear – I didn't consider him when I was thinking about Janine's job offer. He'd have to come home to an empty house every day!'
'If you ask Kevin what he thinks,' said Eduardo, 'he'll tell you to do what makes you happy. And besides, it's not like he's a little kid anymore – he's almost thirteen.'
'He's not, is he?' said Beth, with a heartfelt sigh. Then she looked around her at the various stores, and said, 'I wonder what he wants for his birthday.'
Kylie then came trotting over to them with the Victoria's Secret bag in her hand, and said brightly, 'Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna return what I bought, and then buy it again with coupons.'
'Ooh, what'd you get?' said Eduardo, tugging playfully at the corner of the bag.
'I'll show you later,' said Kylie, pulling it away from him just as playfully. 'I'll be back in a few minutes.'
She kissed him, then headed for the stairs down to the next level. Beth went with her, and the two of them began chattering away to each other. Eduardo watched them until they were out of sight, then turned towards his brother.
'Hi, Eduardo,' said Carl.
'Hi, Carl,' said Eduardo.
'Sorry I handled you too roughly.'
'That's okay.'
Carl stared at him. 'What, that's it?'
'Well, what do you want me to say?'
'I don't know. I just thought you'd be more upset.'
'I was. I'm not now. Anyway, Kylie was a lot madder about it than I was, and she seems to've forgiven you.'
'I think she just got distracted,' said Carl. 'It got pretty intense in the elevator with that demon. Do you know what it was?'
'I don't have a clue,' said Eduardo. 'We can try to find out for you.'
'No, don't worry about it – you all have finals coming up. So, look... you and me... are we okay?'
Eduardo raised his eyebrows. 'What do you mean by okay?'
'Well, back to normal, I guess.'
'And that's okay, is it?'
'I don't know,' said Carl. 'I thought I was doing better. Apart from what happened before, obviously. That was... well, that was pretty stupid of me.'
'Yeah, it was,' said Eduardo. 'Now you have to make sure you don't do it again, whether we're on ground level or not. You know I don't like being manhandled. I mean, nobody does, right?'
'I just don't know how else to get you to listen to me.'
'What the hell are you talking about? It doesn't make me listen!'
'I know. I'm just finding it hard to believe that the problems I have with people are all my fault.'
'Yeah, well,' said Eduardo, 'you know what to change. And what am I supposed to do – just whatever you tell me? And am I supposed to just agree with you when you say stuff about Kylie? I love her, you know.'
'You do, huh?' said Carl. 'Well, I guess maybe I wasn't totally right about her, just like she's not totally right about me. But you're still gonna... I mean, I still don't want you to make bad decisions. You could listen to my advice sometimes... if I give it calmly and sensibly, maybe?'
'Yeah,' Eduardo said cautiously, 'I could do that, if you respect my right not to take it.'
'Yes, well... like you say, it's your life. It's your business if you completely blow all of your trust fund or something.'
'My trust fund?' said Eduardo. 'You've been thinking about my trust fund?'
'Yes,' said Carl. 'Haven't you?'
'No. I don't have any plans for it yet, if that's what you're worried about.'
'But it's none of my business, though, right?'
'That is kind of your business,' said Eduardo, 'thinking about where it came from. So look, if I have an idea about using it, I'll ask your advice first. I might not follow it, but I'll listen, okay?'
'Okay,' said Carl. 'That sounds fair.'
As he spoke, Kylie could be seen cresting the top of the staircase. She hesitated for a moment, then made her way over to Eduardo when he gave her an inviting smile, and slipped her hand into his. She was looking at Carl, however, when she said, 'You wanna get it later?' and waved the Victoria's Secret bag at him.
'Yeah,' said Carl. 'Thanks.'
Eduardo looked extremely puzzled as Kylie turned to him, said, 'Come on, sweetie, let's go,' and pulled him towards the staircase.
'I have to go,' said Beth. 'Kevin will be home from school by now. I feel terrible about him coming back to an empty house.'
'I'm sure he's fine with it,' said Eduardo. 'That's why you left the note, isn't it?'
'Yes,' said Beth. 'Oh dear – I didn't consider him when I was thinking about Janine's job offer. He'd have to come home to an empty house every day!'
'If you ask Kevin what he thinks,' said Eduardo, 'he'll tell you to do what makes you happy. And besides, it's not like he's a little kid anymore – he's almost thirteen.'
'He's not, is he?' said Beth, with a heartfelt sigh. Then she looked around her at the various stores, and said, 'I wonder what he wants for his birthday.'
Kylie then came trotting over to them with the Victoria's Secret bag in her hand, and said brightly, 'Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna return what I bought, and then buy it again with coupons.'
'Ooh, what'd you get?' said Eduardo, tugging playfully at the corner of the bag.
'I'll show you later,' said Kylie, pulling it away from him just as playfully. 'I'll be back in a few minutes.'
She kissed him, then headed for the stairs down to the next level. Beth went with her, and the two of them began chattering away to each other. Eduardo watched them until they were out of sight, then turned towards his brother.
'Hi, Eduardo,' said Carl.
'Hi, Carl,' said Eduardo.
'Sorry I handled you too roughly.'
'That's okay.'
Carl stared at him. 'What, that's it?'
'Well, what do you want me to say?'
'I don't know. I just thought you'd be more upset.'
'I was. I'm not now. Anyway, Kylie was a lot madder about it than I was, and she seems to've forgiven you.'
'I think she just got distracted,' said Carl. 'It got pretty intense in the elevator with that demon. Do you know what it was?'
'I don't have a clue,' said Eduardo. 'We can try to find out for you.'
'No, don't worry about it – you all have finals coming up. So, look... you and me... are we okay?'
Eduardo raised his eyebrows. 'What do you mean by okay?'
'Well, back to normal, I guess.'
'And that's okay, is it?'
'I don't know,' said Carl. 'I thought I was doing better. Apart from what happened before, obviously. That was... well, that was pretty stupid of me.'
'Yeah, it was,' said Eduardo. 'Now you have to make sure you don't do it again, whether we're on ground level or not. You know I don't like being manhandled. I mean, nobody does, right?'
'I just don't know how else to get you to listen to me.'
'What the hell are you talking about? It doesn't make me listen!'
'I know. I'm just finding it hard to believe that the problems I have with people are all my fault.'
'Yeah, well,' said Eduardo, 'you know what to change. And what am I supposed to do – just whatever you tell me? And am I supposed to just agree with you when you say stuff about Kylie? I love her, you know.'
'You do, huh?' said Carl. 'Well, I guess maybe I wasn't totally right about her, just like she's not totally right about me. But you're still gonna... I mean, I still don't want you to make bad decisions. You could listen to my advice sometimes... if I give it calmly and sensibly, maybe?'
'Yeah,' Eduardo said cautiously, 'I could do that, if you respect my right not to take it.'
'Yes, well... like you say, it's your life. It's your business if you completely blow all of your trust fund or something.'
'My trust fund?' said Eduardo. 'You've been thinking about my trust fund?'
'Yes,' said Carl. 'Haven't you?'
'No. I don't have any plans for it yet, if that's what you're worried about.'
'But it's none of my business, though, right?'
'That is kind of your business,' said Eduardo, 'thinking about where it came from. So look, if I have an idea about using it, I'll ask your advice first. I might not follow it, but I'll listen, okay?'
'Okay,' said Carl. 'That sounds fair.'
As he spoke, Kylie could be seen cresting the top of the staircase. She hesitated for a moment, then made her way over to Eduardo when he gave her an inviting smile, and slipped her hand into his. She was looking at Carl, however, when she said, 'You wanna get it later?' and waved the Victoria's Secret bag at him.
'Yeah,' said Carl. 'Thanks.'
Eduardo looked extremely puzzled as Kylie turned to him, said, 'Come on, sweetie, let's go,' and pulled him towards the staircase.
